Avatar

random girl

@randomgirl005

random girl who reads and writes random things📚💫

little reflection about adulthood...

What is adulthood, really? Is it just reaching a certain age? Getting a job? Getting married? Having children? Finishing college?

Adulthood is often sold to us as a structured path—finish school, get a job, maybe get married, have kids... but in reality, it’s much more chaotic and uncertain. You don’t just wake up one day and suddenly feel like an adult because you’ve turned 18, 21, or 25.

For me, adulthood is a series of chaotic events that we’re made to believe we must handle simply because we are now considered "adults." We’re told to leave behind all innocence and start confronting "real life," as if we’re suddenly prepared to do so. If you manage to keep going and life isn’t too hard on you, you succeed, more or less. You push forward, believing you’ve become a man or woman who has accomplished whatever was expected of you. But if you struggle or fall behind, society labels you as a failure.

And all of this is thanks to rules established long ago, rules designed mostly to benefit those with money and power, people who will never truly understand what it means to achieve something entirely on your own.

But maybe adulthood isn’t about fitting into that mold. Maybe it’s about learning to navigate the chaos in a way that makes sense to you, even if it means redefining success for yourself.

The Secret History

Hi! I'm currently halfway through the book, and I thought I would share some reflections I've had about what I've read so far.

I find it absolutely fascinating how the story draws you in, and you unconsciously start resenting Bunny. You feel like he’s making everyone’s life impossible and that he’s half-crazy. But honestly, it’s wild because, at the end of the day, they’re all a bunch of unhinged people who’ve murdered someone—they’re literally killers! And the problem isn’t Bunny—it’s Richard, who just keeps living his life alongside them as if nothing happened, sharing his day-to-day with them without it affecting him at all. And, of course, the book is narrated by his future self, which is what gives you this initial perspective. Insanity how it all is written.

Bunny is the kind of person you could easily dislike in any other context because of his personality, his stupid jokes, and his overall vibe. But in this situation, you hate him because he’s losing it over the fact that his so-called "friends" (who end up killing him) are actual murderers.

I mean, they make him out to be this awful person, when the ones taking people's lives (just because they’re high out of their minds) are the others. And Richard narrates it all while siding with the murderers!?!? Like, the real problem is Richard. He’s the one who's messed up (honestly, it could be me).

So, here’s my reflection halfway through the book: if someone you care about, someone who’s part of your life, practically part of your daily routine, commits a murder or some other serious crime—would you be able to carry on normally with that person? Yes, they’ve committed a crime, but they’re still the same person you laugh with, talk to, and hang out with. It hasn’t directly affected your relationship or your life (beyond knowing and covering for it). So what do you do in that situation? Do you lose it like Bunny, or do you just go with the flow like Richard?

I mean, they’ve directly told you about it. You haven’t seen proof, nothing suspicious has happened, there’s been no change in their attitude, and it hasn’t altered your environment or the way you relate to them. Would the relationship stay the same? Would you really notice the difference? Or would it just remain as casual as someone telling you they bought a new car?!??

Obviously, the most logical thing would be to go to the police, but let’s ignore that part for now.

Let me know if you've got any other thoughts about it!

A Timid Light/ Una Llum Tímida

Both precious and tough at the same time, the same book has the power to make you feel incredibly good at times and, simultaneously, to break you and leave you in pieces at others.

Una Llum Tímida (A Timid Light), an original text written and performed as a theatrical play by Àfrica Alonso, based on real events, takes us to Spain during the last fifteen years of Franco's regime. It tells a love story between two teachers in a small village in Valencia called Manuel.

This 2024, the same author has published the work as a novel, a text written with the same delicacy and dedication as the theatrical play that preceded it. With extensive research behind it, Àfrica Alonso traveled to the small village of Manuel to immerse herself firsthand in the world of the two protagonists. There, she visited the little apartment where the teachers lived and even spoke with people who had the privilege of knowing them during their lifetime.

It is a harrowing story that, thanks to the author’s incredible writing, makes you turn the pages without realizing it, sometimes needing to stop to reflect, or even reread a paragraph, a sentence, or an entire page to process all the emotions these words manage to convey.

From the very beginning, a feeling of tenderness and love toward Isabel and Carmen takes hold of you. Àfrica Alonso has achieved a narrative that makes you feel everything that happens to them as if you were present in that small apartment in Manuel alongside them.

The good moments, the bad ones... You feel it all as if it directly affects you, creating a bond with the protagonists that leads you to reflect and think about how harsh and unfair life was for them. Despite the love they shared, due to the conditions and beliefs—partially imposed—of the time, they broke the societal norms of love; a love as tender and genuine as theirs. This ultimately shattered the happiness and mental integrity of two young women whose only wish was to be happy and love each other freely, without harming or bothering anyone.

The book brilliantly portrays the guilt that plagued the young women because of a love that, according to the closed-minded society of the time, was an abomination. With tears in your eyes and goosebumps, the book shows you, in a fictional yet very realistic way, how the feeling of guilt consumed them, how self-hatred and rejection of who they were became a constant presence in their lives, always clashing with the pure and sincere love they had for each other.

This internal struggle between the ideals you were raised with and what you have become is present throughout the book. The inability to embrace who you are due to incorrect, instilled values that go against everything you truly are—and deep down, you know that nothing you feel could be as wrong as they make you believe. Even though you’re aware that what you’re doing harms no one, a deeply ingrained part of you cannot let go of this sense of what is "right" and "normal." Is it perhaps out of fear of losing those we thought we loved once? Or maybe out of fear of losing who we thought we were? Whatever the case, what do we have to lose if we don’t have love?

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.