Influencer!Sirius - Part 5 - 1152 words
“Why the hell are you asking us that?” said Peter disgusted. “Ask me that? I don’t think anything is sexy, and ain’t attracted to men anyways.”
Sirius huffed. “Not everything is about you Wormy.” Peter scrunched up his nose, which Sirius answered by sticking out his tongue. Peter was out and proud asexual and they all knew Peter would stop them if he really got uncomfortable.
“I agree.” Remus was twirling the tea in his mug around, staring down at it. “I really think you should make up the nsfw content yourself. You know what your fans like, what you're comfortable with yourself. And how the hell should we know any more about that than you do?”
A cough came from the eating table, where James was lying on his back, legs swinging rhythmically. “Speak for yourself, prude. Sirius, don’t be afraid. I have plenty of ideas for you.” James' head rolled lazily in their direction, eyes settling on Remus. Sirius followed his gaze. Remus was still staring down on his cup of tea. “Although I think I should tell you something more private. We can’t do that in front of the children.”
A loud snort came out of Sirius before he knew it. “One of them has learned to filter anything dirty out. The other is far from a virgin or a prude. You remember-” Remus shot up and casted a warning glance, but Sirius just continued. “-Laurence? They broke the bed Prongs! They broke the fucking bed!”
Remus slumped on his chair. “I’m never living that down.”
“Never Moony.” Sirius smirked while James was laughing uncontrollably. “But even if we forget that, I know what you read on that phone of yours.” Remus looked slightly panicked at that. “Not literally, but I have read enough comments about ‘AO3’, and the logo is quite recognisable.” Remus was white in the face now. James was dying of silent laughter and Peter was trying to hide inside his phone. Sirius spared him a second glance, but he knew Peter would flee if the subject really made him uneasy. “I don’t care what you read. Just wanted to prove my point that you know exactly what is sexy.”
Remus opened his mouth to object, but Sirius was faster. “Don’t tell me you don’t know what it looks like. I know about booktok.” Combined with a grin, it resulted in Remus frowning and slightly blushing.
It was silent for a few seconds. Only James' still fast breath could be heard. Then he exclaimed “Biker!”
Sirius shook his head. “Done that already. Biker, firefighter, professor, baker, police. Man, I have done the elf and the masked man.”
Peter made a disgusted noise. “Where do you even- I don’t wanna know. I do not want to know.”
Remus took a sip of his tea. His nose twitched, meaning it had gotten too cold. Sirius stood up to flick on the kettle again. “And yes I need something new. The old ones are getting boring.”
“Me, and thus the fans. You know how it works, Prongs.”
James nodded. “I understand what you mean. I’m not bored as easily as you are, but I have switched two times now. From musical to comedy movies, and now action. So maybe just change the genre?”
Sirius walked to Remus to get his housemate's cup. He was thanked by that smile and- not going there. “But that’s the problem.” He opened their tea box, picking out a teabag for green tea. Remus was out of his mind, with his aversion for fruit tea. Why would you drink tea that smells like boiled gras? “It’s patreon. People pay for spicy content. I can’t change genre.”
During the following silence, Sirius poured the hot water into the cup. Then he dumped it in Remus’ hands again. Sirius revelled in the pink color and bashful smile that took over Moony’s face, but looked away when he realised it was getting creepy.
“Where is my drink?” James was sitting upright on the table now.
Sirius raised his eyebrow. “In the kitchen? I’m not your servant, Potter.
James’ eyes flicked to Remus, who was watching the scene with silent amusement. The blush still decorating his cheeks. “But you are Moony’s?” Moony is special.
Sirius twirled one of his rings. He forced himself to keep his voice steady. “Moony didn’t ask for it.”
“You didn’t offer before I asked!” James was standing now.
Sirius walked to him. “Because-” he poked James’ chest “-you are energetic enough to get for yourself. Remus was comfy, so I got him more tea.”
James was now looking in Peter’s direction and Sirius really didn’t need that conversation. “Can we get back to the important matters? I need something new.”
A huff. “Just take a look on booktok, Pads. Since you know what it is, you probably know what’s going on there as well.” Remus was decidedly not looking.
“I did that! But it is all the same as I already have. Plus I got nauseous after the third man who slapped bread dough and had to leave that place.” He was silent for a few moments. “Moony, are you into bread slapping?”
“What?!” Remus had a disgusted look on his face. “That I watch that doesn’t mean I like every-” he fell silent when he heard Peter.
“Firefighter, professor, police, masked man.” Peter did not talk loud, but especially that tone meant something good was coming. “All authority figures.”
“So what if you did the opposite?” Peter shot up, almost running to the kitchen to get some water. See, James? Getting a drink yourself does not have to be a problem.
“How would I…?” Sirius looked at Peter, but he was too busy washing the words from his mouth. James was no help either. But Remus, Remus had that look in his eyes. “Moons?”
“He means that all your videos are stereotypical dominating figures. So you could-” Remus was piercing holes in his teacup with his eyes “-change to submissive.”
“You heard me, Pads. I’m not going to spell it out for you. Just think of what you usually do, how someone would react to that, and film that.”
Why did Remus had to be so vague? Sirius did in fact not understand. He had had quite the adventures, but theoretically he was still a virgin. He refused to watch porn -hypocrite if you thought too hard about it but anyways- so he mostly just went with the flow. That had gone perfect until now.
The conversation shifted, but Sirius kept thinking about it. How would he react to his usual content? Most of the time he just showed off his muscles, a little smirk, a wink. He didn’t get what was attractive about it half of the time. He just played into what his comments said. The comments. Those should help, right?
