Rare Pears

Masterlist

Ao3 | Discord | Kofi

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An incomplete fandom list of plot bunny tags I use to sort my crack ideas:

Answered #Ask, #original novel idea, #rarepears recs

#Black Butler idea, #Bleach ideas, #BNHA ideas, #Fullmetal Alchemist ideas, #Harry Potter ideas, #Game of Thrones idea,  More #Game of Thrones ideas, #Hannibal (NBC) idea, #JJK ideas, #KHR ideas, #Naruto ideas, #Scumbag Villain's Self-Saving System ideas, #Solo Leveling ideas, #Star Wars ideas, #The S Classes that I Raised ideas, #The Untamed/MDZS ideas, #Tokyo Ghoul ideas, #Twilight ideas

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Masterpost

Sept 2021, Oct 2021, Nov 2021, Dec 2021, Jan 2022, Feb 2022, Mar 2022, Apr 2022, May 2022, Jun 2022, Jul 2022 (1/2), Jul 2022 (2/2),  Aug 2022 (1/3), Aug 2022 (2/3), Aug 2022 (3/3), Sept 2022, Oct 2022, Nov 2022, Dec 2022, Jan 2023, Feb 2023, Mar 2023, Apr 2023, May 2023, Jun 2023, Jul & Aug 2023, Sept & Oct 2023, Nov 2023, Dec 2023, Jan 2024, Feb 2024

Ask box is always open for prompts! Current number of asks in askbox as of [8/25/2024]: 152.

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FAQ below the cut:

Luo Bingge is hopping between worlds looking for a kind shizun where he stumbles into an even weirder version of himself that is acting in a very odd manner... that reminds him of his kind shizun? He decides to stay and investigate this world further.

Luo Bingge X Shen Yuan!Luo Binghe

AU where Shen Yuan is Shen Jiu's shizun's husband.

Unfortunately, Shen Jiu's shizun died in the battle fighting Tianlang Jun. To bridge the gap between the generations, Shen Jiu's shizun's husband (who had been absent from the peak the whole time that Shen Jiu had been there) stepped in to carry out the Qing Jing peak lord duties and finish training the head disciple aka Shen Jiu.

That's when Shen Jiu got his first taste of parental love.

Thankfully, when the old Cang Qiong generation ascended, Shen Yuan remained behind as he wasn't officially the Qing Jing peak lord, just a substitute, and Shen Jiu got to keep his pseudo parent around longer. On the other hand, now Shen Jiu had to deal with panting gods and deities sobering over Shen Yuan... as the ascension of the Cang Qiong peak lords meant that the stories of the legendary beauty Shen Yuan was spread to even the heavens...

And honestly? Shen Jiu really wanted to know more about that insanely powerful deity dressed in black and red robes all the time. He had to be the most obsessed (and evil!) of the whole lot. His teleporting sword and abilities made it too hard for the newly named Shen Qingqiu to use the usual tactics to ward off Shen Yuan's suitors. Was he some icy river god or something? After all, this deity's name was "icy river". Maybe Shen Jiu could use fire to counteract the god's water affinity...?

Meanwhile the sexy widow in question, Shen Yuan, is just oblivious to his student's desperate fight against the dimension hopping Luo Bingge.

Liu Qingge is always looking for a good fight. He's always hunting down this or that beast to fight (and kill) and now he's got his eyes on this gigantic 9 tail fox...

Insert Liu Qingge gatecrashing Konoha while the kyuubi is wrecking havoc on the village with Madara...

Shen Yuan's transmigration experience starts with a doctor looming over his bed and a beauty sobbing at his bedside...

Drabble on AO3

Give me an AU where Shen Jiu is taken into Huan Hua as the adoptive son of the Old Palace Master. He's basically the Little Mistress but this is an AU where there is no Little Mistress, just the Young Master Shen Jiu. He's treated like a prince and stuffed into princely outfits and rooms. He's spoiled beyond belief.

But Shen Jiu still remembers the lessons that living under slavers and living on the streets taught him. He's still waiting for the other shoe to drop. So even as he sees the genius female cultivator gets elevated to the position of head discipleship, he's ready with a number of escape plans to protect himself from this potential threat.

Only... this doesn't turn out to be the threat he was worried about. Instead, before his eyes, his so called father (who's faked kindness always rang false) reveals his true colors in imprisoning the Huan Hua head disciple, pregnant with a demon's child, into the Water Prison.

And so Shen Jiu starts his Plan D - a plan he never expected to ever enacted, but one that he imagined for fun. He successfully kills the Old Palace Master (with poison) and assumes leadership of the Huan Hua sect a few months after the fall of the Heavenly Demon Tianlang Jun. Everyone assumed that the stress of all the events had weakened the old cultivator until an illness was enough to kill him, plus Cang Qiong was busy transitioning leadership to the new generation, so Shen Jiu's ascension goes without comment.

All hail Sect Leader Shen Jiu.

What if Su Xiyan was a street kid who grew up with Yue Qi and Shen Jiu? I don't know what the age differences is, but would she be the big sister to Yue Qi? Maybe she was the closest thing they had to a mother and they saw her get sold to a old perverted man (who later is revealed to be the Old Palace Master who "saved" her from slavers and generously took her to become a cultivator despite abandoning all the other slave children to their fates of staying as slaves).

Imagine how motivated and angry Yue Qingyuan must had been in fighting Tianlang Jun when hearing of how this demon raped his older sister, destroying her reputation and body. He was already too late to save his Xiao Jiu - now he was too late to save Su-jie. But at least he can still avenge her unlike the dead Qiu's...

Bring located at the top of a mountain range means that sometimes in winter, cang qiong has to deal with 2 meters of snow falling overnight. Disciples have to work hard shoveling away at the snow - sure, the seniors can fly in their swords, but no one wants to be lugging all the supplies coming from An Ding like a pack mule. They need the roads clean for the young disciples, elderly hallmasters and the pack mules and horses from An Ding!

Do you reckon they ski and snowboard? What about sledding? Maybe some of the senior enterprising disciples sell snow melting charms in the little underground black market (since they technically are supposed to physically shovel the snow as physical conditioning.)

Somehow I read this as runway wife Shen Jiu the supermodel who's hated enemy is the Olympic athlete Liu Qingge who keeps getting invited to walk the runway because he's got the looks and the marketing razzle dazzle rep every time he wins yet another competition.

And naturally as an aging model, he's aiming to go the usual route of marrying some rich person (athlete? CEO? something), get a nice divorce a few years down the line to collect a nice alimony, and then live out his life in peace in some remote mountain cottage.

Now, the cheesy route would be to write "Shen Jiu messes up when he catches the eye of heir-to-multi-billionaire-fortune Luo Binghe" but let's be real: Shen Jiu wants an easy paycheck with someone he can control and bully around.

It only makes sense that he eyeballs the CEO of the world's biggest (and richest) logistics management/transport/maritime/and way too many other industries which is none other than the shivering weak pushover Shang Qinghua.

Not into devil may cry, so can't answer this ask, sorry

Don't remind me of how time is flying by!! I mean, I appreciate financial stability but all my desires to write? Down the drain ugh

Thank you for sitting by me for so long! <3

Shen Jiu had a tooth infection or maybe it was a wisdom teeth issue that a doctor tried to extract with a knife but whatever it was, it went wrong and damaged the nerve around the left side of his mouth, leaving his mouth tingly and numb. Although not completely paralyzed around the lips, it takes more effort to move one side so he just… doesn’t move them.

And then his face really did get stuck that way.

No wonder he doesn’t smile and carries a fan around to hide the asymmetry in his face

Chickens can mother any species and anything. Peak lord Shen Jiu somehow gets adopted by a spirit beast mother hen that wants to mother him to the max!