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the courage of stars

@sage-nebula / sage-nebula.tumblr.com

Sage. She/Her. Adult.
Writer, space cadet.
Bones & stardust.

This is a really difficult post for me to make for many reasons, but one I am going to make anyway because I don't know what else to do. I will try to keep it as succinct as I can.

For years I have said that I work in IT, and this is true. But what I haven't said is that I work in IT for the federal government. For privacy reasons, I won't say which branch, but I have been a federal employee for years now. About two weeks ago, DOGE started coming after us. So far, I still have my job, and those higher than me in my branch have instructed us to not respond to any DOGE emails. While I wouldn't bend the knee to Elon Musk, Trump, or anyone else in DOGE regardless (I will hold the line as long as I can), it's still a beyond stressful time knowing that I could lose my one source of income at any moment.

To make matters worse, because of my refusal to bend the knee to Musk, I've been completely cut off by the one remaining family member I had left, my father. He has made it clear that if I lose my job because I am standing up to the current administration, he will not help me. Moreover, he also refuses to speak to me, having said, "We have nothing else to talk about" the last time we did speak. So it is both a financial and an emotional severance.

The final nail in the coffin to my mental and emotional state right now is that I am in a bad amount of debt. To be precise, $3800 worth of debt, on a credit card, that I am struggling to pay even with my job right now given how high my mortgage and car payments are, not to mention my other bills. Part of the reason the debt is so high is because I had a massive plumbing problem that needed to be fixed at my house—essentially, the previous owners installed the pipes incorrectly, which completely ruined the plumbing in the kitchen and everything had to be re-piped. This was a little over $1000 alone, not to mention the weeks my kitchen was inoperable, leading to me relying on takeout just to be able to eat. That, plus interest on the bill, has left me in a tight spot.

So now, I'm here, doing something that it takes all of my willpower to do: ask for help. I don't know if I'll have a job in a few weeks. I don't know if I'll be able to pay this off even if I keep my job. And the stress of that has led to me being unable to eat for days, and throwing up what little I do eat, when combined with everything else. If you have read this far (and I don't blame anyone who hasn't), I thank you. And if you can offer any assistance, I thank you even more.

I have a Ko-Fi, which you can find here.

I put some designs up on redbubble that you can order as stickers or other things, which you can find here.

I'm willing to draw pictures, or write ficlets / fics, for anyone who would like to help. You can find examples of my art here and my fiction writing here. If you want something, just send me an Ask and we can discuss it.

I'm sorry this is so long. And again, I thank you for reading to the end if you have. Thank you for caring.

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Reblogged

Summary: One year ago, Professor Friede was thrown off the Brave Asagi into a free-fall from 30,000 feet. One year later, an Exceed researcher named Jule struggles with dissociation and dreams of flying he can never quite remember.

Word Count: 8,394 Characters: Friede, Sango, Onyx, Spinel, Agate, Captain Pikachu Genre: Drama Additional Tags: Hypnosis, Brainwashing, Amnesia, False Identity Snippet:

“Oh I could hide ‘neath the wings of the bluebird as she sings. The six o’ clock alarm would never ring . . .” The melody, sweet and gentle as it was, was enough to snatch him from his free-fall through the air, the wind, the sky, the clouds ice cold and sopping wet— “But six rings, and I rise—” The sweet, folksy melody cut off abruptly as his hand—not wet, not cold—smashed the top button on his clock radio. He lay there for a moment, still save for his breathing. He could feel the clock radio beneath his palm. He could feel the warmth of his blankets—a top sheet, and two soft, plush blankets—on top of him. And there was no wind, no trace of screaming on the air. Jule opened his eyes as his heart evened out, and was met with the cracked ceiling of his studio apartment above him. His ceiling, in his apartment. He was in his bed, in his apartment. His hand was on his clock radio because it had gone off, because it was 7:00 AM and he needed to get ready for work. Jule took a deep breath. In through his nose, out through his mouth. It was a dream. It had just been a dream. And now that he lay there, the sweat on his palm sticking his hand to the OFF button on his clock radio, much of it had already seeped away, like rain water into a gutter. With one more deep breath held and released, Jule pushed himself out of his bed and made his way to the bathroom—one little square of the apartment quartered off by curtains, containing a toilet, sink, and a shower the size of a boutique changing room. Truth be told, his apartment could hardly be called such; it was little more than a small room in the basement of a boarding house in downtown Levincia. The bathroom took up about a third of the space; the other two thirds were shared by his bed, nightstand, and the kitchenette. It had no windows and a host of safety violations, but the rent was cheap (by Levincia standards), and so Jule felt he had no room to complain. He spat his toothpaste out in the sink, and chanced a glance at the cracked mirror above it. Dull golden eyes curtained by shaggy white hair stared back at him. He frowned, running his finger along the dark circle under his right eye. Well, it made sense; he hadn’t been sleeping the best for a couple weeks now. He kept dreaming of—of— . . . flying . . . Jule splashed cold water on his face, and then grabbed his hand towel to rub away both the water from his skin and the last vestiges of the dream from his mind. It was, after all, just a dream; and as a scientist, he knew that dreams weren’t important.
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Reblogged

Summary: One year ago, Professor Friede was thrown off the Brave Asagi into a free-fall from 30,000 feet. One year later, an Exceed researcher named Jule struggles with dissociation and dreams of flying he can never quite remember.

Word Count: 8,394 Characters: Friede, Sango, Onyx, Spinel, Agate, Captain Pikachu Genre: Drama Additional Tags: Hypnosis, Brainwashing, Amnesia, False Identity Snippet:

“Oh I could hide ‘neath the wings of the bluebird as she sings. The six o’ clock alarm would never ring . . .” The melody, sweet and gentle as it was, was enough to snatch him from his free-fall through the air, the wind, the sky, the clouds ice cold and sopping wet— “But six rings, and I rise—” The sweet, folksy melody cut off abruptly as his hand—not wet, not cold—smashed the top button on his clock radio. He lay there for a moment, still save for his breathing. He could feel the clock radio beneath his palm. He could feel the warmth of his blankets—a top sheet, and two soft, plush blankets—on top of him. And there was no wind, no trace of screaming on the air. Jule opened his eyes as his heart evened out, and was met with the cracked ceiling of his studio apartment above him. His ceiling, in his apartment. He was in his bed, in his apartment. His hand was on his clock radio because it had gone off, because it was 7:00 AM and he needed to get ready for work. Jule took a deep breath. In through his nose, out through his mouth. It was a dream. It had just been a dream. And now that he lay there, the sweat on his palm sticking his hand to the OFF button on his clock radio, much of it had already seeped away, like rain water into a gutter. With one more deep breath held and released, Jule pushed himself out of his bed and made his way to the bathroom—one little square of the apartment quartered off by curtains, containing a toilet, sink, and a shower the size of a boutique changing room. Truth be told, his apartment could hardly be called such; it was little more than a small room in the basement of a boarding house in downtown Levincia. The bathroom took up about a third of the space; the other two thirds were shared by his bed, nightstand, and the kitchenette. It had no windows and a host of safety violations, but the rent was cheap (by Levincia standards), and so Jule felt he had no room to complain. He spat his toothpaste out in the sink, and chanced a glance at the cracked mirror above it. Dull golden eyes curtained by shaggy white hair stared back at him. He frowned, running his finger along the dark circle under his right eye. Well, it made sense; he hadn’t been sleeping the best for a couple weeks now. He kept dreaming of—of— . . . flying . . . Jule splashed cold water on his face, and then grabbed his hand towel to rub away both the water from his skin and the last vestiges of the dream from his mind. It was, after all, just a dream; and as a scientist, he knew that dreams weren’t important.
Avatar
Reblogged

Summary: One year ago, Professor Friede was thrown off the Brave Asagi into a free-fall from 30,000 feet. One year later, an Exceed researcher named Jule struggles with dissociation and dreams of flying he can never quite remember.

Word Count: 8,394 Characters: Friede, Sango, Onyx, Spinel, Agate, Captain Pikachu Genre: Drama Additional Tags: Hypnosis, Brainwashing, Amnesia, False Identity Snippet:

“Oh I could hide ‘neath the wings of the bluebird as she sings. The six o’ clock alarm would never ring . . .” The melody, sweet and gentle as it was, was enough to snatch him from his free-fall through the air, the wind, the sky, the clouds ice cold and sopping wet— “But six rings, and I rise—” The sweet, folksy melody cut off abruptly as his hand—not wet, not cold—smashed the top button on his clock radio. He lay there for a moment, still save for his breathing. He could feel the clock radio beneath his palm. He could feel the warmth of his blankets—a top sheet, and two soft, plush blankets—on top of him. And there was no wind, no trace of screaming on the air. Jule opened his eyes as his heart evened out, and was met with the cracked ceiling of his studio apartment above him. His ceiling, in his apartment. He was in his bed, in his apartment. His hand was on his clock radio because it had gone off, because it was 7:00 AM and he needed to get ready for work. Jule took a deep breath. In through his nose, out through his mouth. It was a dream. It had just been a dream. And now that he lay there, the sweat on his palm sticking his hand to the OFF button on his clock radio, much of it had already seeped away, like rain water into a gutter. With one more deep breath held and released, Jule pushed himself out of his bed and made his way to the bathroom—one little square of the apartment quartered off by curtains, containing a toilet, sink, and a shower the size of a boutique changing room. Truth be told, his apartment could hardly be called such; it was little more than a small room in the basement of a boarding house in downtown Levincia. The bathroom took up about a third of the space; the other two thirds were shared by his bed, nightstand, and the kitchenette. It had no windows and a host of safety violations, but the rent was cheap (by Levincia standards), and so Jule felt he had no room to complain. He spat his toothpaste out in the sink, and chanced a glance at the cracked mirror above it. Dull golden eyes curtained by shaggy white hair stared back at him. He frowned, running his finger along the dark circle under his right eye. Well, it made sense; he hadn’t been sleeping the best for a couple weeks now. He kept dreaming of—of— . . . flying . . . Jule splashed cold water on his face, and then grabbed his hand towel to rub away both the water from his skin and the last vestiges of the dream from his mind. It was, after all, just a dream; and as a scientist, he knew that dreams weren’t important.

Summary: One year ago, Professor Friede was thrown off the Brave Asagi into a free-fall from 30,000 feet. One year later, an Exceed researcher named Jule struggles with dissociation and dreams of flying he can never quite remember.

Word Count: 8,394 Characters: Friede, Sango, Onyx, Spinel, Agate, Captain Pikachu Genre: Drama Additional Tags: Hypnosis, Brainwashing, Amnesia, False Identity Snippet:

“Oh I could hide ‘neath the wings of the bluebird as she sings. The six o’ clock alarm would never ring . . .” The melody, sweet and gentle as it was, was enough to snatch him from his free-fall through the air, the wind, the sky, the clouds ice cold and sopping wet— “But six rings, and I rise—” The sweet, folksy melody cut off abruptly as his hand—not wet, not cold—smashed the top button on his clock radio. He lay there for a moment, still save for his breathing. He could feel the clock radio beneath his palm. He could feel the warmth of his blankets—a top sheet, and two soft, plush blankets—on top of him. And there was no wind, no trace of screaming on the air. Jule opened his eyes as his heart evened out, and was met with the cracked ceiling of his studio apartment above him. His ceiling, in his apartment. He was in his bed, in his apartment. His hand was on his clock radio because it had gone off, because it was 7:00 AM and he needed to get ready for work. Jule took a deep breath. In through his nose, out through his mouth. It was a dream. It had just been a dream. And now that he lay there, the sweat on his palm sticking his hand to the OFF button on his clock radio, much of it had already seeped away, like rain water into a gutter. With one more deep breath held and released, Jule pushed himself out of his bed and made his way to the bathroom—one little square of the apartment quartered off by curtains, containing a toilet, sink, and a shower the size of a boutique changing room. Truth be told, his apartment could hardly be called such; it was little more than a small room in the basement of a boarding house in downtown Levincia. The bathroom took up about a third of the space; the other two thirds were shared by his bed, nightstand, and the kitchenette. It had no windows and a host of safety violations, but the rent was cheap (by Levincia standards), and so Jule felt he had no room to complain. He spat his toothpaste out in the sink, and chanced a glance at the cracked mirror above it. Dull golden eyes curtained by shaggy white hair stared back at him. He frowned, running his finger along the dark circle under his right eye. Well, it made sense; he hadn’t been sleeping the best for a couple weeks now. He kept dreaming of—of— . . . flying . . . Jule splashed cold water on his face, and then grabbed his hand towel to rub away both the water from his skin and the last vestiges of the dream from his mind. It was, after all, just a dream; and as a scientist, he knew that dreams weren’t important.
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Reblogged

fourth-wave sputch discourse is going to be canceling people for playing Mario for betraying the working class

Our last dean talked about how “I couldn’t do it without Terry, she absolutely is the one who really runs this place” but did he take her on any of his jaunts where he had very expensive dinners with very rich alumni?  No he did not.  And unless the pay bands are a lie, she makes about 1/4 of what he makes and did not get part of his golden parachute when he retired to write his memoirs.

Moral of the story is that almost no one is “paid what they’re worth” because frankly she’s worth 4x what he is and realistically their paychecks should be flipped.  And yet here we are, in a world where half the responses to this are variants on “only an admin.”

#lol so years ago at my old university there was this incident#because you see not only were staff and faculty (and especially adjunct faculty) not being paid well#but also the buildings for the students were largely in horrible condition with poor desks etc#(the one exception was the building built for the business school bc despite being liberal arts my uni decided it wanted to be a business#school instead. from what i hear they still do not have high business enrollment)#so the school newspaper looked into things and found that despite so little funding going into salaries & student needs#and tuition + room and board prices being raised every single year#the school was still claiming it was in debt. huh! why was that?#it was because the president and the provost were giving themselves TEN THOUSAND DOLLAR BONUSES EVERY YEAR#and doing things like buying a nearby home for the president to host parties that cost OVER $1MIL#(tho at the time of the investigation the house thing was old news. at least to me bc i was staff by that point. but i digress.)#so there was this public forum that the president held and some of the reporters for the newspaper went there and were like#''hey why do you and the provost get $10k bonuses when the rest of staff and faculty are vastly underpaid compared to other universities#and there is allegedly not enough room in the budget to improve student facilities and the school is said to be in debt as the excuse for#raising tuition + r&b?''#and the president was like ''this is not the place to talk about that''#and then at the start of the next semester it was announced that the budget for the school of communications (where the paper was run)#would be slashed to 1/3rd of what it had been. so the newspaper had to drastically reduce staff & output#HMM . . . WONDER WHY THAT DECISION WAS MADE . . .#anyway i have not worked there in years (i left bc i was being underpaid by $15k at *least*) but it was a shitshow#corruption at its core

matt just fired half the remaining tumblr support staff lmao

from my sources adjacent to tumblr--from which i can spread rumors and insider information freely because i dont give a fuck about ever working in the tech sector--im hearing this round of firings was focused on purging the senior staff, and not just from support but from the entire remaining tumblr workforce. i'm hearing there are about 25 people left.

The thing about the Switch 2 pricing is -- well, there are multiple things.

  1. Video game console prices had already hit this point. I'm not saying that justifies it; I'm saying that's a fact. The Playstation 5 was $499 when it launched. The PS5 Pro was $699, and that's a digital-only console. The fact is, if a competitor is doing something that is profitable and they succeed at doing that thing, others are going to follow suit. I understand that many Nintendo fans might not have been aware of PS5 pricing, since Nintendo has their own fanbase that is often separate from those who are into Playstation or Xbox, but it's true nonetheless. (I singled out Sony because that is a fellow Japanese company, but for the record, the Xbox Series X also debuted at $499. The galaxy black special edition, which came with a disc drive, debuted at $599. And while one could try arguing that those consoles deserve the higher price point because they are technologically stronger than Nintendo consoles, that doesn't change the fact that Nintendo's strength has always been in their IPs rather than their hardware, or the fact that, again, if competitors succeed at something profitable, other companies will follow suit.)
  2. Unfortunately, Nintendo had already tried the "games that we know people will buy no matter what will be priced higher than standard games" tactic on the Switch. Most Switch games retail at $59.99. The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, however, retailed at $69.99, and it sold gangbusters. And the thing is, Nintendo isn't exactly hiking the price by miles here; they're doing the frog pot method, where they raise it by ten dollars, and then another ten, and so on and so forth. So most consumers probably will still buy in. (Probably, because yes, I know that the 3DS had poor sales to start with and got its price lowered. I was there, Gandalf. I also know that it wasn't only the price that got the 3DS off to a slow start, but a poor lineup of launch titles. Switch 2 is launching with a brand new Mario Kart, so I don't think it'll face the same hurdle. But we'll see.)
  3. Speaking of competitors, standard retail price for PS5 games is $69.99. This also seems to be the standard price for Switch 2 games that Nintendo doesn't consider to be the highest value, since Donkey Kong: Bananza will be retailing for $69.99. So again, competitors already set that standard; Nintendo is just following suit.
  4. I've seen a post going around saying that there will be no more physical game cards, only game keys. The good news is, this is false. Game keys will be used for specific games only, likely Fortnite and the like. Physical game cards are still being made. The bad news is, remember that post I made about how it's ridiculous that digital games cost the same price as physical games? Well, Nintendo listened. Physical games (or at least some) will cost about ten dollars more than digital. Meaning that a game that costs $80 digitally will cost $90 physically. Nintendo isn't taking as active of measures to phase out physical games as Sony and Microsoft are (we'll see if there ends up being a digital-only Switch 2 Lite), but they clearly don't want to make them anymore either.
  5. Lastly, everyone is upset about the $450 or $500 price point. I understand why and also think it sucks. But Nintendo announced today that they are pushing back the April 9th preorder date because of the tariffs imposed by the Trump administration. They said they want to see how the tariffs will affect export pricing and how the market will shake out. Meaning that it is highly likely that this console and the games for it will be even more expensive than they are currently. And again, it won't just be them; when Sony announces the Playstation 6 and Microsoft introduces the Xbox Model 720 or whatever they decide to call it, those are probably going to once again be even more astronomically expensive than the Switch 2. So buckle up, because it is most likely about to get worse.

Here is the fic in its entirety, both the previously posted pieces and the rest that had been completed. I'm sorry it's only being posted now; I don't see messages that are sent through on ko-fi, so I had no idea that you were trying to commission me and not just sending donations. In the future, please request commissions through my ask box. We can work out the details before payment is sent, and that way everything will be delivered and received in a set amount of time. Thank you.

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Daily Friede Day 16: Tea Break

I’ll also be taking a break from the Daily Friedes for a little while (hopefully just around 2 weeks-ish!) Sorry to disappoint but I need to focus on uni assignments and such 🥲And to be frank, doing a unique and presentable-enough sketch a day is pretty tiring especially since I just got out of grinding for artist alleys 😭 Please don’t worry though, they’ll definitely be back! Thank you so much to everyone who’s been keeping up with my little love letter to Friede so far 🫶

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