Mhm!

I should have been there.

Maybe I really did just convince myself of it.

But no ones brain should do that

I'm sorry if I let you down

I don't understand whats wrong with me why am i so stupid

Why have i always been so dumb naive nd gulliabke and delusion even 'whey i ahwy

I just told my mom im not Christain, im so stupif im s a fucking ifiot

how did it not knpw I did everything wrong

I wish i was differnt 'iI don't like being human

I don't understand what wrong with me

I really don't have it that bad,

But every dingle thing they did still hurts me and it makes me feel ridiculous I can't let go

I will do one,

I'll let you know when it's made.

It will be good practice for me anyway, I want to do commissions someday.

Those drawings I posted I maybe shouldn't have or looked at maybe

I've started to get a large influx of strange thoughts again

So maybe I'm not ready yet

Disappointing

They weren't recent and were from last summer

Maybe it's too soon. But, I doubt its that. They were just very emotionally charged drawings, and they usually come with more than that. Though, I'm still dissapointed with the outcome.

I want to say that maybe I'll be able to try again, and this won't happen. But I find it unlikely.

If do that again, will definitely get the thoughts and movements.

I don't know If it'd be a good idea to sacrifice that. Just to get what I want. To look at the drawings

But doing what I want doesn't always serve me well. Or the others.

So maybe it's best I don't, no matter how much it disappoints me.

Maybe I'm just going too far.

It's hard to tell myself no, about it.