i’ve been told by various european friends that the most american sentence i’ve ever said is “sophomore year of college, some friends and i road-tripped thirteen hours to florida for spring break.”

and now i can confidently say this is the most guy-who-lives-in-paris sentence i’ve ever said: “today i was cycling to meet a friend at buttes-chaumont and i went over some cobblestones and my baguette got launched out of the bike basket into the middle of the roundabout”

@derinthescarletpescatarian I need an Australian sentence now.

Once I was on an eighteen hour train ride into the city and the complementary tea service was down because the train had hit a kangaroo on the way up and broken their hot water system.

I think you can get both more broad and more specific at the same time I was going to walk down to the milk bar for a snack but there's a magpie in the tree by the roundabout that swooped me last week so I don't want to risk it

I got swooped by a magpie walking out of a hospital once and I couldn't stop thinking about how funny it would be if she'd injured me and I'd had to turn around and walk back in.

hi y’all i just wanted to put you onto this fundraiser for the buffalo nations grasslands alliance. they’re trying to recoup some of the funds for black-footed ferret conservation on tribal grounds that the trump/musk administration has frozen, which is impacting not only the conservation efforts themselves but the livelihoods of the people working on them. the frozen grant is 1.1 million but this fundraiser has a goal of 50,000.

the fundraiser has 24 days left and has only reached 2% of its goal with 11 donations. black-footed ferrets are an endangered lazarus taxon that was thought to be extinct from 1979-1981 before being rediscovered by accident. they’re a miracle of conservation and it would be horrible to lose them for good, not to mention (again) the impact of people working with these animals losing their jobs which is outlined in the fundraiser link. indigenous-led conservation efforts are extremely important for a wide variety of reasons and as someone in the zoology area i feel obligated to share this fundraiser to contribute to those efforts.

i know that things are hard right now and there’s a lot of people and organizations all across the world that need help, so don’t feel pressured BUT if you have extra money and you can contribute to this fundraiser or share it with people who can that would be great.

super cute black-footed ferrets ^

Boosting this here- black footed ferrets are perhaps a little more charismatic than we usually allow here, but they need all the help they can get!

There’s been some genuinely incredible work done in black footed ferret conservation, most notably this cloning project increase the genetic diversity of the remaining population. Op isn’t kidding — these guys are several conservation miracles in a trench coat.

That said, cloning a species back from the brink of extinction doesn’t do a lick of good if we can’t get them back into their natural habitats. It would be devastating to come so far, only to fail because of this bullshit.

@conservationbiologist @raccoonmilf @reasonsforhope would you consider sharing this with your followers?

Realistic crafting/survival sim where you have to do everything like that stone age technology guy. None of this "collect 20 clay and make a brick wall in ten minutes" bullshit. I'd value my half-decent stick and palm shelter if it took me a full in-game week to make it.

I want the game to make me fire all the bricks and then place them one by one. It can "cheat" by making wall sections a single object that updates the image a few times during construction like the other games do, that's fine, I don't expect the game to remember two hundred individual bricks forever. But I should have make and carry them with realistic encumberance. "Derin why would you want to spend two in-game hours building a sad clay hut that can't be instantly turned back into materials if you change your mind" because I have audiobooks to listen to.

Unfortunately, this won't work for me, because the book im currently reading doesn't have an audiobook, and so I have to divide my time between playing my survival game and finding out what's happening on the Perfectly Normal Spaceship....

Yeah uh sorry but we're denying you the medication that makes you regrow the hands you lost in the accident due to cancer risk.

Oh the type of cancer? Hand cancer. It's. It's significantly higher when you have hands.

Higher than for the general population of people with hands? Uhhhhhhhhh well now you're asking really complicated and sort of ideologically motivated questions.

I really dislike how I can say something like "I don't like the way I'm treated by a lot of the white cishet women have treated me, especially in my white cishet woman dominated field, as a black trans man who is also gay" and the response is "so you think black transbians are oppressing you" when I'm actually talking about how a white cishet woman called the police in an attempt to get me arrested and/or killed while walking my dog and how my previous job fired me days before my original top surgery date and stole over 120 PTO hours from me.

Like not only do I not think that trans women oppress me at all, but I also am specifically talking about my direct experiences with the ways people's transphobia and racism have combined in an incredibly gendered manner to be used as a weapon to hurt me and even attempts to kill me.

Like I'll say that I don't like radical feminism and white feminism because of the ways it often combined transphobia, sexism, homophobia, and racism into a bigot slurry that often directly harms me- and thus I prefer intersectional feminism, black feminism, and specifically black transfeminism because they are significantly more friendly to my life and lived experience and I find any disagreements I may have are largely minor quibbles and historical context-

And for whatever reason I get "so you think women oppress you" and "so you hate black women and blame them for your problems".

Like nah man that's an entirely new sentence and one that's completely antithetical to the one I just said. I know tumblr is the piss on the poor website but y'all cannot be that deliberately obtuse in your everyday life and if you are then I am genuinely worried about the way you approach literally any conversation that requires you to actually think and understand what that other person is saying.

This isn't even a "I like waffles" "so you hate pancakes" situation. This is a "I like waffles" "so you think waffle likers should be executed" level of reading comprehension and bad faith.

Truly I should have known this would happen after I said "I and my black family get followed around by white people in stores and have been kicked out of stores on accusations of stealing even after we proved we didn't take anything" and people TO THIS DAY ran with the understanding of "Jaz said he follows black women in stores to creep on and sexually harass them".

It is absolutely bonkers to me that I will talk about the racism I have directly experienced or have witnessed my family experience and somehow it gets spun into a narrative that I am actually the one enacting it.

And then y'all wonder why I sneer at your black lives matter slogans still in your bio when y'all do this - you don't give even half a shit about black lives. You just want to be able to use the suffering of black people and especially black women as a bludgeon to shut up anyone whose posts make you uncomfortable about the bigotry you yourself benefit from. You want to be called an ally because of optics and not because you actually believe in fighting and dismantling the system that directly harms black people everywhere.

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (deleted scene)

Seriously though, this scene. WHY DID THEY DELETE THIS SCENE?

And as they went away with Luke letting Han’s hand trail out of his, I thought, “…as though millions of Han/Luke shipper voices suddenly cried out and were silenced.”

In all my days I’ve never shipped this till…

Welp, if I didn’t ship it before…

True story from ancient fandom corner: people did ship it, and that shit was stomped on harder than any slash has ever been stomped on. There were lawsuits. SW slash went WAY underground–even in the days when all slash was underground. There were ‘zines, but they were precious as carbuncles and basically if you had one or wrote in one you were like a fucking badass slash bandit.

i’m not taking ANY CHANCES this time around!!!!!

THE VERY FIRST FUCKING VILLAGER TO MY CAMPSITE ARE YOU KIDDING ME

I wish I could have warm fur. Like her.

i couldnt resist her Enchanting Shape

I have a big one cooking regarding AC: Shadows vs Rise of the Ronin vs Ghost of Tsushima vs Nioh vs Sekiro but ultimately:

Having played all except Sekiro to varying levels of completion I can tell you that almost all of the people who are mad about Shadows are just being racist. It's literally standard fare Assassin's Creed historical fantasy.

It does strike me as funny when people recommend playing Nioh instead for historical accuracy- yeah, the game where the white guy travels across Japan killing yokai? I'll grant you that the white guy existed but it's interesting that yokai are apparently easier to suspend disbelief than the black guy who also existed and who also appears in that game, albeit as an enemy. So you can believe fighting him but not playing as him, I understand.

It also strikes me as interesting that people point to playing Rise of the Ronin as more historically accurate (it's not) and that it doesn't have "any DEI nonsense" (you can be black in RotR if you choose to, there's even preset black settings in the character creator) (you can be gay in RotR if you want - and some people in Japan have jokingly called it a BL game as a result because the men are quite pretty) (you encounter several people with mental and physical disabilities in RotR which tracks for a time of upheaval in which people are killing each other with sharp metal objects and also guns) (also South Korea was BIG MAD about RotR for a very long time because it's at least somewhat Japanese imperial propaganda so if you're looking for racially sensitive don't look here not that these guys actually care about racial sensitivity) - at some point I start wondering if the people making these suggestions have actually played these games or if they've just read a wikipedia synopsis of the plot and not looked further into it.

GoT isn't even that historically accurate considering Japan lost Tsushima island to the invasion for some time and the army was, in fact, not chased off by a single samurai going off script and defying everything he knew about the bushido. It was an amazingly fun and breathtakingly beautiful game, but fiction it most definitely was.

It's also so weird to me that people are A: so upset about Yasuke having the option of a nonbinary and a gay romance (sexual relationships between men are well documented in historical Japan especially among samurai and nobility) and B: not mentioning that Naoe also can have a gay romance (is it because watching two Japanese women kiss is hot to these guys but not the black guy with the Japanese guy? hmmmmmm). Assassin's Creed has been allowing gay romance options since they started having romance options, and in fact it is historically accurate as these cultures (Roman, Norse, Japanese) did not have the same level of homophobia as we see today. I also am recalling stray conversations with Ezio in fucking Italy and Constantinople where he effectively shrugged and went "that's your own business" when encountering a gay relationship so it's not even that new to Assassin's Creed.

It's literally just very very poorly concealed bigotry. That's all it is.

"UM OP DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT THIS INNOCUOUS VIDEO/IMAGE/POST IS ACTUALLY FETISH CONTENT"

everyone is correct in that i missed a crucial option 3. i'm into that actually

4. Please consider some internal exploration of why you "recognized" this as fetish content.

Devils sacrament?!

5. All content on the internet is fetish content if you believe in yourself.

BEHOLD!

Fetish content!

Having screaming fits of rage on occasion where you wave your arms around all higgilty piggilty

^^ stress relief 🐸

ON WISCONSIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi, I’m alive and I’ve managed to keep food and water down ✌️

...And I’m possibly getting a migraine. Ugh.

Guess who ended up in the ER because of the migraine and dehydration from vomiting?

Guess who also threw up so hard in front of nurses that my hip dislocated and proceeded to look at me like something from the Exorcist as I just casualy popped it back in between bouts of vomiting that also subluxated my neck and collar bone.

Guess who now has a prescription for compazine at home because finally a doctor is more concerned with the effects of my migraine and not the potential side effects of the drug.

Turns out scaring the living daylights out of staff with your bendy body is worth something.

Nobody need me. I’m staying in bed for the rest of the week.

Also, if anyone asks me if I’ve tried the hot foot bath trick affer reading this, I’m stealing your kneecaps.

Hot… foot… bath? Wtaf?

Tiktok ‘migraine hack’ you’re supposed to put your feet in hot water and it ‘draws the migraine out.’

There is actually some vague science behind how it works due to how some people’s blood pressure responds so their lower extremities being placed in hot water but it's been overhyped.

Actually, if you have POTS like me it's not recommend becauseit can cause blood pooling in your feet and then you get POTS symptoms which can worsen your headache, so, the more you know 🌈✨

The number of alarmed medical professionals currently in my in inbox who never considered the hazards of vomiting when a patient has EDS: the real risk last night was that my Ehlers Danlos Syndrome also causes me to have dysphagia.

As my body starts to get too tired, I start to choke and aspirate. The only reason I went to the ER last night was because I had to self-heimlich maneuver against the bathroom sink because my throat muscles just couldn’t keep up anymore and I was suffocating.

My hip popping out from the force of my wretching is painful but not deadly. My neck and collarbone popping out is painful and can cause complications but not immediately deadly. The above? Dead in minutes.

I know education around Ehlers Danlos Syndrome is lacking. Many people just see it as the quirky bendy disorder you see people performing party tricks on TikTok with (or if you’re really jaded, what you perceive as party tricks for attention when, in reality, it's raising awareness), and that can jade your opinion of the disorder. However, I am begging you to do more research on your own and listen to your patients when they talk about quality of life.

It's not enough to say “there’s no cure so there’s nothing I can do to fix this.” We’re often not asking for a cure, we’re asking for effective symptom management so we don't deteriorate or end up in situations like the above.

I shouldn’t have to put on a contortionist horror show at the ER for a doctor I’ve never met before to treat me better than my longterm care providers.

Please, I know you’re tired and overwhelmed but please listen to us when we say we need help.

When I'm out in the garage working, Vice gets to tag along and hunt dust bunnies in the garage attic. I pause every so often to call him down, just to make sure he hasn't gotten into trouble.

He always has a Lot to report.

some of you guys do not thump the baby to get the demons out, which is fine because sometimes cats don't have demons in em. but you have to understand that Vice is full of demons (Anxiety, Phobia of Furnace Repairmen, Fear of Babies, Hairball) and needs to be sqashed. He does not want light gentle touches. that is bad stimulation. He wants to be pulverized.

To be clear for those of you who haven't been here the whole time, Vice isn't a barn cat. Vice is an extremely anxious housecat that gets gently carried out to the garage so he can cosplay having a real job. He caught a mouse once and went into a panic about it.

His face when he realized he was about to fall

Everything I've seen and heard about the Switch 2 made me more confident I'm never ever going to buy the Switch 2

"Hi, I see you're talking shit about hornets. Would you like this convenient hornet nest beating stick?"