"Aro/Ace person gets given a love potion" story but instead of them being immune or whatever, it DOES work, and they realize IMMEDIATELY that they've been fed a love potion because this feeling is so wrong and foreign but everyone keeps laughing off the idea of it being a love potion because "they were probably just a late bloomer" or "no, you just finally found the right person!" and it's just a horror story about how no one believes them even though they know, they KNOW this isn't right and they can't stand it.

All the people who keep saying “or, consider, they just suddenly really love their family/friends/pets/hobbies/etc!” in the notes 1) are missing the fucking point and 2) owe a loveless aro ten bucks

WoW's Birthday Whump Event Day 1!

Prompt (by @whumperofworlds): Unabled to warn would-be rescuers/Trying to scream through the gag

"No! You can't put me in there!"

Whumpee thrashed in the arms of Whumper's henchmen as they were dragged towards a tiny cage connected to a chain that dangled from the ceiling. They would fit, but just barely.

"I can, and I will," Whumper replied calmly. "I can't have my bait squirming on the hook. Better to keep you contained."

"Caretaker is too smart for you," Whumpee retorted. The henchmen started tying Whumpee's arms and legs, rendering them immobile. "They'll figure out your plan."

Whumper laughed. "Oh, I doubt it. And you won't be able to warn them."

They produced a rag and a roll of duct tape from their pocket, and Whumpee sucked in a sharp breath.

"No, n-ph! Mmh!"

Whumper shoved the rag in Whumpee's mouth, and then they started wrapping the duct tape around their face. They used up the entire roll, completely covering up Whumpee's mouth and the entire bottom of their face. Whumpee tried to fight back, but the ropes and the henchmen were to strong.

When Whumper was done, Whumpee couldn't make a sound.

"Perfect," Whumper said. "Get them in the cage."

A strangled cry died in Whumpee's throat as the henchmen stuffed them in the cage. Their body folded in on itself to try to fit, and the henchmen situated Whumpee so that their face was pressed to the floor of the cage.

Whumper raised the cage into the air, and Whumpee had a perfect view of the entire room. Whumper gave Whumpee a thumbs up, and then they and the henchmen went to hide behind the door.

As Whumper planned, Caretaker found their way there eventually, bursting through the doors. When they looked up and saw Whumpee, their eyes widened.

"Hang on!" they shouted. "I'll get you down."

"Mmph!" Whumpee screamed, but the sound barely made it through the duct tape. "MMPH! MM!" It's a trap.

Caretaker ran over to the pulley system, but they didn't even get their hands on the lever. Whumper sprang out from behind the door, rope in hand.

Whumpee couldn't make a sound as Whumper pulled the rope around Caretaker's neck.

god I love gags in whump. did you guys know I love gags in whump. I'll say it again I love gags in whump

"No, no please d-nnh! Mmph!"

Whumpee thrashes against the ropes binding them to the wooden post, but there's nothing they can do as Whumper stuffs their mouth with a rag and starts wrapping layer after layer of silver duct tape around their head. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven times they go around, obscuring Whumpee's mouth completely.

"There," Whumper says, grinning. "You look so much prettier this way."

They ruffle Whumpee's hair and then, without warning, Whumper leans forward and kisses Whumpee's gagged lips. The grip on their hair grows tight and painful as Whumpee tries to jerk their head away.

"Nmph! Mmph!"

"Shh," Whumper whispers, tapping the duct tape. "You and I are going to have lots of fun."

"Aro/Ace person gets given a love potion" story but instead of them being immune or whatever, it DOES work, and they realize IMMEDIATELY that they've been fed a love potion because this feeling is so wrong and foreign but everyone keeps laughing off the idea of it being a love potion because "they were probably just a late bloomer" or "no, you just finally found the right person!" and it's just a horror story about how no one believes them even though they know, they KNOW this isn't right and they can't stand it.

Whumpee chained to a post outside by Whumper in front of their crew — to be made an example of. Hands taut behind them, chains around their neck and waist, feet shackled. In nothing but their undergarments.

Now Caretaker who’s undercover within Whumper’s group, has no choice but to watch from a distance as their Whumpee suffers through a long cold night of wind and rain.

I'm sorry I'm going fucking insane over trans people in sports issues the anti trans crowd has lost the fucking plot and then has the audacity to act like its the trannies who are ridiculous

I used to be of the "well the sports issue isn't really important to me its w/e I just don't want it to be a gateway into other transphobia" but oh my fucking god we are so far gone. The fencing shit is sending me over the edge. What the fuck.

I can't even articulate my words so I'm just going to tell a story in screenshots

I am so fucking tired of being gaslit about this

The person who kneeled saying that this will destroy her life, my God. You tried to destroy the trans lady's life with your stupid stunt. If you didn't want your life to be ruined, you should have just played swords.

"this will destroy my life" immediatly wins $5000

I'm so fucking done

Witnessed @guy-agaric's wee little cuttlefish Gale and I needed to draw him 😭 He's so teeny tiny oughgogughggou

Forced Proximity Dialogue Prompts

Haven't done one of these in a while.

safehouse

The Weave

I once wrote a 1500 word essay on something I'd forgotten to read in the 40 minutes before class. Including the time it took to read the thing I'd forgotten to read.

I got an A on that paper.

Writing is a skill. Skill is muscle. If you don't use a muscle, it atrophies. If you are a student and you are tempted to use genAI to cheese an assignment, I am begging you for your own sake to not do it.

This is not a moral stance about genAI (which is shit at what it's ostensibly for, and full of lies and evil, and fueled by art theft and burning rainforests, and there is no good reason to ever use it for anything; that's the moral reason for why you shouldn't use it), it is a purely pragmatic stance based on the fact that if you use it you will never learn the single most essential skill that is used in every single workplace.

You will never learn to bullshit.

And if you cannot bullshit, you will not understand when you are being fed bullshit by others.

For your own sake you must learn to do your own thinking, your own bullshitting, because our trashfire society runs on bullshit and for your own good you must become fluent in it, because very few people will bother to translate it for you. It was asinine in the late 90s, and it is asinine today, but it is the central truth of adult society: everything is bullshit, and you need to know what is going on beneath the bullshit, and you need to be able to bullshit back if necessary.

I know that the expectations being placed on you are ever-increasing, and I know that it does not seem rational to put effort into explaining the plot of a Charles Dickens novel to someone who has read the thing 50 times and will read 50 identical essays about it over the weekend. I know you are being handed ever-greater heaps of what is functionally mindless busywork because of an institutional obsession with metrics that don't actually measure learning in a useful way. High school was nightmarish in the 90s and I am fully aware that it has only gotten worse.

Nevertheless, you must try, if only for your own sake. Curiosity is your best hope, and dogged determination your best weapon. Learn, please, if only out of spite.

I was able to get an A on that paper because I was able to skim the reading, figure out what it was about, and bullshit for 1500 words in the space of 40 minutes.

Imagine what you can do if you learn to bullshit like I can bullshit.

For my senior year of AP English, I was assigned reading over Easter break. We were instructed to read The Old Man And The Sea, and save the rest of the short stories in the book for the first week back.

Unfortunately, what I heard was "read everything BUT The Old Man And The Sea."

Double unfortunately: the first day back was a test, on The Old Man And The Sea. Which I had read exactly zero words of. It was, notably, a short essay test. It wasn't multiple choice or fill in the blank. It was designed to require deliberate answers from scratch, entirely out of your own head, with nothing to go on BUT what was in your head.

And in the course of about 45 minutes, I was able to use the questions of the test itself to piece together a vague enough sense of how the story went to bullshit my way through other questions. I gave wide, thematic answers that were extremely light on details, since I did not know any of them, and did not even know this test would be happening until it was in front of me. An essay test for an AP-level English class.

I had a starting point of zero information, and an essay test about the thing I was supposed to have read.

I bullshitted my way to a B+ on it.

On a test I should have gotten a ZERO on.

It's been 16 years since I took that test.

I couldn't tell you a damn thing about The Old Man And The Sea.

But you better fucking believe I still know how to bullshit, and when someone is trying to bullshit me.

The power and utility of knowing how bullshit works CANNOT be overstated. It is one of the most important skills you can ever have.

My favorite part of this is the little “Yet I’m still failing” at the bottom of the screencap. It’s not yet occurred to you to change something you’re doing? Maybe try not using ChatGPT?

It's not just to have a "do over" that doesn't involve the original cast, it's to cut them out of the royalties. Literally the entire point is to make sure all the money made by Harry Potter goes to transphobes or people willing to work with transphobes.

If you watch it, you are supporting bigotry, hate, and oppression. That's just objective reality. All for a story that you probably have already seen in movie and book form.

#the last point is especially true since the old cast receives royalties for anything with their likeness on it#meaning the original trio still gets money for every mug with their 14 year old faces on it#if they stop making those and replace them with the new cast which they will the old cast gets cut off completely#which is again exactly what rowling wants because she cannot stand those 'ungrateful brats' as she would likely put it#and as she has last say in anything that gets made in harry potter paraphernalia this might also explain the decrease in faces on products

via @discipleofkleio

I hate Rowling so much.

There's people in the notes saying they're going to watch it anyway, and you know, I understand how you can start feeling so burned out and numb from the world that it may feel too hard to avoid things that will give you a little immediate relief in some way in order to avoid the long-term impact of funding these things.

But. If you can't bring yourself to avoid watching it, you better at least fucking pirate it.

AN EGG-CITING ADVENTURE!! And some sketches of the dads and their children. It was a lot of fun to watch. … I am having brain rot. I miss sleep.