And I wouldn't have it any other way <3<3<3

university professors love to create the most fucked up pdf ever known to mankind. it's enrichment for them.

what HAPPENED here

This looks like modern art

figuring out how to get rid of screen addiction is like trying to figure out how to stop a nicotine addiction while also having a job centered around smoking cigarettes and having half your social life be in smoke breaks

being 5'7" is so fucked. AND i'm a top. i suffer more than you could ever know.

doing shadow of the colossus shit to her pussy 🧝‍♀️

uhm.... girls only have cocks around these parts, friend

Doing shadow of the colossus shit to HIS pussy

sorry im a lesbian

doing shadow of the colossus shit to her penis?

well if youre unsure i can take over for you

collecting lizards to boost my stamina and climbing the tower to do shadow of the colossus shit to her 17th secret penis

i think the concept of the post is starting to escape us

nothing escapes from me

hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...

I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED

POST BELOW ME GET FUCKING WET

House would treat two gay patients like shit and get sued for being homophobic and cuddy would go "he's not homophobic, he treats everyone like that!" which does not hold up in court so instead he's like how can I be homophobic when I have a boyfriend? Wilson stand up. Everyone would turn to Wilson (who had ZERO warning about this) and he'd stutter before glaring at House and stand "yes, House is unfortunately my boyfriend"

Then they'd walk out of the courtroom and Wilson would chew him out which House ignores. Cue 3 days layer when Wilson says House needs to clear up they lied about being gay to get him off (ha) and they're not actually dating because he is NOT getting any dates like this. House would walk into the hospital cafeteria and yell "ATTENTION EVERYONE. Doctor Wilson is not my boyfriend." Wilson would nod for 2 seconds before House follows up with "because we're engaged!" and Wilson can't even be mad because why did he think for 2 seconds that House would make it easy for him

House would try to use this as an opportunity to demand less clinic hours (think of it as a wedding gift) which he does not get because Cuddy knows exactly what's going on and she thinks it's hilarious but she needs his ass working

Cuddy: yeah? You two are a thing? How big is he?

House: 5.3 inches

Wilson: how the FUCK do you know that

at least sisyphus only had one never-ending task. i have like 50 and all of them cost money

chart of my age over time

i don’t feel like i’m old enough to be my age

Given that patent attorneys, especially back then used to have hard science degree, it makes the one about how they know the weight limit on a bridge funnier.

For the uninitiated:

My preferred version:

Dad 100% studied physics or engineering, he's just also a troll, which is why he's a patent lawyer.

people who don't wear glasses don't get the added benefit of taking off your HD eyesight for a while. just. fuck it! i'm done. 240p vision time

I've seen enough.

so my tumblr app is doing this fun thing where it just shows me empty posts sometimes, because why not. and this one just really worked for me.

when the fic is a rated t one-shot with a 20k+ word count titled something like "the mechanics of turtle migration" with kudos in the low hundreds yk it's gonna hit

small talk enjoyers when the weather is in any way notable: