the line between not going out as an act of self-care and not going out as a symptom of depression is but a gossamer thread

im getting really fucking sick of all this “it gets better!” bullshit. im going to have depression for the rest of my life. it’s not going to “””get better””” fuck you

i have really great news guys, despite it all

to everyone reblogging this and saying that you’re the exception, or this will never apply to you, you are not alone. back when I made that first text post I felt the same way. but something I realized in between the first half and second half of this post is that it starts with you. it starts with wanting to be done with the misery. it is so much easier to give in to whatever mental health issues you’re dealing with, especially in a world that is built against us. however it is so worth it to not give in. it is so worth it to do things that make you feel good even though it can feel impossible to start. it’s so worth it to fail at something because at least it means you tried.

getting yourself out of the hole is hard, and can feel damn near impossible at your lowest. but it isn’t impossible. i am living proof of this. nobody is responsible for your emotions but you, and if you want to be happy, you have to create your happiness. do whatever you can to surround yourself with joy. not hedonism, but actual joy. accomplishments, good relationships, engagement in healthy hobbies and habits. it can be hard, there’s no denying it, i still struggle myself sometimes. the reward is so worth it. feeling like you’re the best version of yourself is so worth it.

to quote the queen kali uchis: i know it’s hard, but did you even really try?

Ask yourself: do you really want to not live at all, or do you not want to live the life you currently feel trapped in? Do you simply see no other realistic option? It is not a choice between eternal suffering and death.

That is not to say that things aren’t bad where you are now- odds are, your distress is valid, and things are horrible to get you to this point. But the odds also are that you DO want to live! And keep holding on, because things will never get the chance to change if you don’t live to see it!

Things are really scary and dangerous right now, but what the powers that be WANT us to do is give up. Find a reason to keep living- even if it is simply out of spite. Find something to look forward to, no matter how small: a game or movie coming out, petting more cats/dogs/other animals, anything that helps you keep going.

You’re going through hell right now- but why would you stop in hell? Keep going.

You’re going through hell

right now- but why would you stop

in hell? Keep going.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Yoooooooo

So the government just defunded PBS and NPR which is fucked. That being said, the public can cover the damage if we orginize and donate.

Only about $1.60 of tax dollars per US citizen per year are spent on the public broadcasting budget. NPR and PBS offer beong able to make small monthly donations, some being 7$ per month or lower if you want.

If you want to donate 1.60$ per month to your local station, you can multiply how much funding they get from you by 12. If you do their monthly donation of $7 per month, your donation can equal the tax dollars of 54 people spent on public broadcasting per year.

If you want to donate to your local station, look them up by your town here to make sure your local stations get helped specifically:

Myself and my Fiancée will be doing this. If you can spare the money, it would be great if you could too. There doesn't always feel like there's a lot that I can do against the things ravaging our country; but if I can donate to the extremely important things public broadcasting does instead of spending $10 a month on some product that just gets another ultra-rich asshole richer, then I will.

Yes! Great points. Also, do you love podcasts? If you give $8/month to a participating station, your donation gets you NPR+, which provides you with ad-free versions of a whole ton of great podcasts full of news, science, entertainment, and more.

It's worth noting that in many cases the funding cuts will hit stations in low-population rural areas especially hard. A lot of stations serving tribal regions could be in big trouble. If you live in a major metro area and either don't feel especially connected to your local station or can afford to make two donations, consider supporting a vulnerable station in the back of beyond. I already have a recurring donation to my local station, but I just sent a small one-time donation to KOTZ in Kotzebue, Alaska. (This station was suggested by an Inupiaq microbiologist I follow on Bluesky.)

me, vibrating out of my skin : hey can I talk to you about this piece of media real quick? I pinky promise I'll be So Normal about it, like there's no reason to be concerned that this will turn into a three hour long monologue. Like I Prommy that I'm not gonna be a freak about it.

Saw someone online recently be genuinely annoyed that Achilles Achilles' Heel was in fact his heel. They were like "what a cliché!" And it took 3 separate people to make them understand that this is where the term originated.

Be a teachable individual YOU DO NOT know everything

if I were hypothetically about to come into possession of. oh. let's say maybe a couple hundred gay books, mainly published between the 70s and 90s. do you think I could get away with selling mystery bundles of like three or four of them for, say, 20 bucks?

okay so I'm gathering that there's a market

hi I want to address a couple questions from the replies here for visibility in case other people are curious

@nmhk @ofallthefallenstars - these are really good questions, and I wish it was feasible for me to do meaningful archival or preservation work. unfortunately there are over 1000 (did I wildly underestimate it in my initial post? YES) books in this collection, and there's no one at my workplace who has the time to dedicate to that kind of work. if I were to do it that would have to be the entirety job for the foreseeable future, which is 100% not feasible given my other responsibilities.

I'm not unappreciative of the historical significance of these book at all, and I do genuinely want to see them go somewhere that they'll be appreciated if at all possible. the reality right now is that they're not being read in my place of work, and we're looking to downsize pretty substantially since we're about to move buildings. since we're a small and underfunded campus resource center for LGBT students, my thinking is that selling them and putting 100% of the proceeds into the resource center is the best possible compromise.

I really do wish that I had the ability to do better preservation work with the collection. if it's useful or interesting to either of you or anyone else, a mostly-complete catalog of the books can be found here. my predecessors' organization and tagging is, to put it mildly, a bit dubious, but it does provide a basic look at what we're working with here. if either of you, or anyone else, is interested in obtaining any specific titles here, or any information about them, I'm more than happy to help sort that out.

okay gang we're doing this, I've got a live form for people to put in requests for mystery book bundles

if it sweetens the pot at all, 100% of the proceeds from these old gay books will go to funding programs for LGBTQ+ at my workplace. I don't profit from this at all!

oh you guys were NOT kidding about being willing to pay for this holy shit

anyway PSA — if you have OCD [including paedophilic] or if you have CPTSD and whatever and there are intrusive images or thoughts that mortify you and these thoughts arouse you, you should know that is a response of your body to anxiety and fear and is not indicative of what you are actually aroused by. if you want to look it up, look up non-accordance arousal or groinal arousal 👍

thought too hard about MRI machines today and had this come to me in a vision

when ur mutuals are mutual with each other 

pro: squad con: i saw this post like 18 times today

Reblog to give prev the power to write their fanfiction

Reblog to give prev the TIME to write their fanfiction

Comment on prev's fic to give prev ENCOURAGEMENT to write their fanfiction

Adult realization: you will make mistakes, you will act irrationally. You will commit some wrongs that cannot be fully righted. People will dislike you and misunderstand you for all sorts of reasons. None of these make you a bad person. All you can do is try your best to be kind and just to people, grow and learn.

in addition: Trying to avoid ever doing these things will cost you in ways you cannot comprehend until you stop and accept this.

little kids make me laugh. i was at a party yesterday and a kid was there and she noticed that i have a long straight cut along the length of my thumb and asked about it, so i told her it was a cat scratch, almost healed, didn't hurt. and then she was sorta staring and touching it for a bit and went "you had bone surgery. because there were termites in your bones."

so i played along and went "oh man, i hope they got em all!" and she went "no. they put in more." lmao