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sideblarg

@wumbocroft

he/him |🏳️‍⚧️| uk |🏳️‍⚧️| purveyor of pathetic men

do i respect canon outside the books? no

do i like trawling through the wiki for strange trivia to include? you bet your ass i do

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you want me to answer the door?? the thing that killed james potter and lily evans??

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You will never convince me that Severus Snape wasn’t northern, the poverty, the horrible little slum he lived in in a mining town and it adds another layer to the classism and outsider-ness young snape had to deal with. Can you IMAGINE a little Snape with a strong Yorkshire accent coming up against posh arrogant southern rich boy James Potter and co. AND him covering up his accent and learning to speak like a southerner to fit in with the other death eaters

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writing a canon-compliant marauders-era fic and looking for opinions on which pov would be most interesting!

we snapin

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THE SAFEST PLACE ON EARTH

I swear to god I laughed so much at the absence of common sense and logic in the Chamber of Secrets. If a monster was roaming the castle and the teachers (full grown and competent witches and wizards, including DUMBLEDORK HIMSELF) couldn't find it, I would be quacking in my boots and wanting to get the fuck home immediately. Special thanks to my friend Morgan, with whom I discussed this nonsense that brought us to the conclusion that Dumbledore wanted to keep his headmaster position so bad he prohibited the news to get out of the castle

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Tonks wasn't made for the auror office.

Oh they had the talent, the skill, the quick mind and the sharp tongue. They were great at the job. If they were anyone else, they'd have excelled.

But they weren't made for the auror office.

There was too much status quo to enforce, too many rules, and too many people who were unjustly punished by the rules. Things weren't fair and Tonks was never one to ignore that. They were a Hufflepuff through and through and through.

And Alastor Moody knew it

He knew the second he took them on as his protege that Tonks would not last in the office. It was no surprise to him that they jumped at the first opportunity for treason with little care about how it might bite them in the end.

He left, in his will, everything to Tonks. Everything but the letter he left to Kingsley Shacklebolt:

"Give this to Tonks when they quit."

The letter, opened by an angry and bitter Tonks in 1999, had just one line:

"Well done."

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Things that Percy probably has written in his journal, aka the only thing keeping him sain in that household

  • Dear diary, Ron has peed his bed today. He is not welcome in my room until he learns how to pooty.
  • Dear diary, I just witnessed Fred calling George adopted and proceed to cry after George said that he was the one adopted.
  • Dear diary, Ron has kick Ginny in the face so Ginny has bitten him. Note, don't mess with Ginny because she can bite now.
  • Dear diary, Charlie has eaten my piece of banana cake. I'm stealing his dragon plush and giving it to Ron. See who likes his things getting full of baby saliva.
  • Dear diary, George has called me a popo head so I'm hiding his favourite blanket.
  • Dear diary, today I have been insulted. Aunt Muriel said that I looked like dad. But dad is bald and ugly, so she called me bald and ugly. I don't like aunt Muriel any more.
  • Dear diary, Mum has put Fred and George in time out because they broke a vase. But me and Charlie broke it so now we are getting ice cream while Fred and George are in the time out corner.
  • Dear diary, I have done my first accidental magic! Mum was really happy but Charlie wasn't because I burned his summer homework but to be honest, he deserved it. He should have eaten my piece of banana cake >:(
  • Dear diary, I have beaten Charlie on chess so now Charlie is throwing a fit. Bill says that he is a wimp for losing to a baby so now he is in the backyard screaming because I won. I'm the best at chess now!!
  • Dear diary, I taught Ron how to play chess and I have been humillated. He beat me at first try. Now I now how Charlie felt.
  • Dear diary, Fred said that I was dumb but I'm not the one telling my twin that he is adopted!
  • Dear diary, Fred and George are doing the adopting thing to Ron and he started crying. They are in time out, for the third time this week.
  • Dear diary, I beat Fred and George in Monopoly and now they are crying because they own me 3000£. They should have think better before handing me their properties >:)
  • Dear diary, Ginny said that I acted like a little girl but jokes on her she is the girl and I'm not. So she is the one acting like a little girl.
  • Dear diary, I cried today because Mum told me that I look exactly like Dad. I don't want to be bald.
  • Dear diary, we were playing houses with Ginny and she wants to be the dog. I don't know how to feel but now I'm a mum of four dogs. She said that I can't be the dad because I don't work and dads work.
  • Dear diary, Ron has made a friend. I'm surprised because he said that friends was for losers when I made one.
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