levi knew that the door to this closet was broken. he knew that one, small, weak gast of wind was all it would take to get it shut, locking the unfortunates who forgot about precautions inside.
he knew all that, and when hange asked him to help bring a box out of that closet, he agreed without hesitation.
because farlan had said: "you have to create a moment."
and isabel added: "you need to confess to hange before someone else beats you to it!"
and erwin had adviced that "close proximity enhances romantic feelings."
and because levi wasn't a tactical genius like erwin, smartass like farlan and not even a romantic like isabel, he had to work with that he had.
and what he had was a dirty closet, covered in cobwebs and dust.
unsurprisingly, hange didn't enjoy the prospect of being stuck in a closet until someone passes through and rescues them.
as he watched four-eyes rage like a bull, banging on the door and screaming until her throat was raw, he contemplated if he should just abort the plan and kick the door down.
"you should never give up!" farlan's voice sounded in his head.
"proceed with courage and you'll be rewarded," erwin's voice joined him.
"you'll never get laid if you continue being such a lame-ass coward," isabel taunted him.
levi decided to stick to the plan until the end. the worst that could happen is that hange would tear him to pieces in a feat of rage.
not the worst way to go, levi thought wistfully.
isabel in his head gagged. erwin and farlan gave him the same disgusted expressions.
levi paid them no mind. maybe, he did have it bad for hange, and, maybe, the extent of his feelings for the four-eyed idiot was making him feel like a pathetic softhearted moron, but there was nothing he could do about it now. he tried many times, after all.
almost half an hour later, hange had finally calmed down. she plopped down on the floor next to him, panting heavily.
"we're stuck in here, levi," she declared mournfully.
"yeah," said levi, who could easily broke down that door. "it seems like we are."
"well, don't you worry!" hange gave him an encouraging smile. at the sight of it, butterflies fluttered somewhere deep in his stomach. "moblit would notice my absence and he'll get us out in no time."
if berner does it before something happens between him and hange - a confession or, even better, a kiss - he would break his nose. levi was going to confess, and he was going to do it today.
"we have nothing better to do..." levi said. "it's quite boring in here, we could talk or something. to pass the time, you know."
as soon as he finished, levi turned his face, cringing hard. he sounded like a fucking moron, he sounded like kirshtein every time he tried to talk to mikasa.
there was no way that hange would ever return the affections of a pathetic idiot like him.
"talk?" hange echoed. "yeah, let's do that! i love talking!"
levi knew that. hange liked talking, and she liked walking through the gardens in spring. she liked coffee with milk and three sugars, she liked sandwiches with fresh tomatoes and taking naps in the most random times of the day.
"what could we talk about, though...." hange tapped her chin with a finger, staring at the ceiling.
"we could talk about our feelings..." levi tentatively offered.
farlan and erwin in his head nodded in approval. isabel smiled and gave him thumbs up.
"feelings? hm, i have a lot of them..."
yeah, levi knew. hange had a lot of feelings about absolutely everything she came across. it was annoying and sometimes draining. but also, kind of endearing and amazing.
"you know, just recently i've been conducting this experiment, and it made me feel like i've never had before..."
and before he could stop her, before he could clarify that he wanted to talk about his feelings, hange's face lighted up.
levi groaned, it could only mean one thing - she was getting ready to discuss her stupid, but very important work.
levi knew hange, he knew there was no stopping her now.
and because he really was a pathetic softie, he tried his best to listen and make sense of her ramblings. hange jumped from topic to topic, gesticulating wildly. and, despite, his best efforts levi started to feel sleepy.
he leaned against the wall, taking a more comfortable position and moving just a bit closer to hange.
"mission had failed," erwin admitted sorrowfully.
"better luck next time," farlan added.
"enjoy the nap next to your crush. that's the most action you will get," isabel mercifully teased.
levi closed his eyes, hange's excited voice lulling him to sleep better than any lullaby.
when levi woke up, the door to the closet was open and he was all alone.
hange was gone, and in her place lay a crumpled piece of paper. levi picked up, trying to decipher hange's godawful writing.
as soon as he did, his eyes widened and a curse escaped his lips.
sorry for leaving! moblit came to the rescue, just like i predicted, but you looked so cute while sleeping, i didn't have the heart to wake you up.
also, just a friendly advice: if you want to confess your undying love to me, shorty, pick a better place than a closet. i have standards too, you know.
