I've struggled with my weight for most of my life. As an adult, I found myself looking for answers to heal my body and weight fluctuation; then, after a discussion with a therapist who had a background in nutrition, I learned the word cortisol.
Cortisol is a stress hormone released by the adrenal glands. It helps your body deal with stressful situations, as your brain triggers its release through the sympathetic nervous system, also known as "fight or flight," in response to stress or trauma. When cortisol levels are too high, there can be long-term impacts such as weight gain in the midsection, chronic disease, mood changes, anxiety, and a host of other health issues.
Across social media, there have been tips due to the heightened discussion on cortisol and ways to naturally lower levels. While digging deeper into cortisol levels, I tapped expert and therapist Justine Ashlee to discuss how we can access our trauma to naturally lower cortisol levels.
What Is Cortisol?
First, before we get into how we can lower it, let's just break down cortisol. Cortisol is the hormone that tells your body that fight or flight is here, and if that response is constantly being triggered or set off, you're constantly holding it all inside, and that cortisol is finding a home in your body instead of releasing it. So when you're constantly exposing your body to stress, your cortisol levels are continuing to rise. It's like asking someone whose home keeps being burglarized to get rid of their safety weapons. How can you feel safe to do so if you are constantly being robbed? Our bodies are the same as it relates to cortisol.
You want to lower your stress levels around you so that the stress and fat cells inside of your body finally feel safe to leave and never return. And that stress that we need to manage is not just outside stress from the world; it's the stress that we give ourselves when we aren't gentle with ourselves.
Natural Ways To Lower Cortisol
1.Get Proper Sleep
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I feel like we don't pay attention enough to how imperative rest is. We joke about getting our eight hours, but when you don't get enough sleep, your body is in a constant state of awareness and hypervigilance. So even though you can function off a few hours, that eight hours is always what's needed because when you're not getting adequate rest, there's always something else underneath the surface. And good sleep, not sleep with the TV on, lights, etc., because if you need all that to sleep, that's another issue that you need to get to the bottom of why that's needed.
2.Acknowledge Trauma & Lower Stress Levels
Cortisol is released when stress is present, and as Black people, we are disproportionately impacted by stress due to racial trauma. Epigenetics research has helped us to understand intergenerational trauma, which is the trauma and stress that is passed down through our DNA. But this acknowledgment doesn’t mean that we cannot lower our stress levels. It’s information that we need so that we can prioritize reducing everyday stress. That can look different depending on your lifestyle, but lowering stress levels might include yoga, mindful meditation, boundary setting, lifestyle changes, diet, and regular exercise.
3.Reduce Your Caffeine Intake
fermate/Getty ImagesHigh levels of caffeine can cause heightened levels of cortisol, as studies show caffeine increases cortisol secretion in people at rest or undergoing mental stress. Reducing your caffeine intake and eliminating caffeinated beverages in the evening can reduce stress and may help you lower cortisol levels.
4.Low Impact Exercise
Exercise is stressful to the body, so going slow and light two to three times a week is the best way to go. Because often what happens is when you push yourself with these high-impact exercises, you have to be mindful that cortisol naturally leaves your body when you exercise, but you want it to come out and leave your body, not leave and come back.
You don't want your body to associate the gym with a severe source of stress because when that happens, the cortisol will return, so moderate to low-impact exercise to start is key.
5.Assess Your Relationship With Food
AleksandarNakic/Getty ImagesIn tandem with everyday stress, you have to figure out how you are feeding your body and how that impacts your cortisol levels. If you're craving something, it's because your body needs it. And I am not necessarily saying that your body needs the food; you could be craving dopamine or oxytocin. This is why the idea of eating for comfort shouldn't be demonized, so if you're craving cheesecake, eat the cheesecake.
But on the back end, before you give in to your next craving, ask yourself what this food is giving you that you aren't getting elsewhere and how you can get this feeling without food. Who can I laugh with? How can I experience comfort and joy beyond what I put on my plate?
6.Reduce Your Desire To Always Be Accessible
Aside from our trauma, I don't think people factor in the effect of capitalism, the hustle and grind, and the constant expectation that being accessible at all times has on us and our cortisol levels. When you combine that in tandem with your own body makeup, you are constantly raising your cortisol levels. Focus on reducing your overall stress on a daily basis.
7.Don't Focus On Weight Loss, Focus On Body Safety
FOTOGRAFIA INC./Getty ImagesIf you’re attempting to lower your cortisol levels for weight loss, know that cortisol levels are about more than just weight, so we should focus on the safety of our bodies. When safety and release become the focus, the fat will be unemployable. Sometimes, I look at my midsection and just rub it and say thank you, and that's my way of telling it that we are safe, so it doesn't have to work as hard to keep me safe and store fat as a means of protection.
If you want immediate results to lower cortisol levels you can do a lot of things for immediate results, but if you want longevity, you have to get to the root of the issue and not the branches. Don't obsess over why it's coming back, and instead focus on what is at the root of your body constantly being in a state of fight or flight response.
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
