i believe jesus once said “give a man a tesla model 3 and he will drive it for a year. give a woman a 2006 toyota camry and she will drive it for a lifetime”
had a dream i was on streeteasy looking for apartments. a real estate agent links me to some apt like is the kinda thing ur looking for? and in the listing slideshow someone put up regular pictures of the home then after like 3 or 4 u get to this picture where’s all u see is a pig that has clearly been cooked whole. like slow roasted. but it’s standing up on its own facing a mirror and ur looking at the back of the pig and its butt is huge it just looks like a rly human butt. so i reach out to the real estate agent like the apt looks nice but the pork is throwing me off
i go to show the slideshow to a friend like 5 min later and it’s gone. instead the very first thing u see is literally the beginning of the sellers sex tape (with a non cooked human woman) where they’re just making out but it’s clear what’s aboutta happen n we’re like wtf happened to the pig…n why would he edit the photos to Add this video bc it wasn’t here before
how the hell do people work full time AND work out. and also eat. i feel like a dvd player
i wanna have a friend to go property hunting w me n pretend to be my wife at the open houses
Anonymous asked:this is funny because your vibe seems soo peaceful and fundamentally unbothered by these vile beings
ur right 🙂↕️ i’m at peace bc being a hater brings me joy geminis will understand
Anonymous asked:do you know how to ignore totally the behavior and actions of frustrated ugly men? Even though i do everything not to care it still annoys me sometimes
this is kinda vague but personally hating and being annoyed by men fuels me cuz i’m a hater by nature
i’m holding smth so important everyone pls be quiet so i can focus
love seeing people briefly faint on a roller coaster lol…how did u do that?
hate the god damn Q. it will literally show up anywhere like the polar express and take u to god knows where.