Today, I stopped at Nu Sentral to buy detergent.

Observed behavior of the youngsters there.

I smiled to myself. 

Dik, I used to be that free, and that happy. 

I used to think that the world is mine. Everything was about me. 

But as I get older, things change. 

It is no longer just about me, or my happiness. I have to think from other people perspective. I have to think and be responsible on my family. More responsibilities,  everything matter now.

... Atau kata lain nya, I feel old.. 

And I pray to Allah, as I get older, I will become wiser :)

I want to be a person who can help her family, her friends, her loved ones, and her ummah to become better muslim. 

After all, this dunya is only temporary. 

(Same goes to 'zaman muda') 

Reflecting

Alhamdulillah, I have these girl friends, whom holding each other tightly.
The most fav part is no matter how crazy are we, there are times we will remind each other about ad-deen. We talk about Allah, fate, and how to become a good muslim.

And today topic is reflecting.
What a good timing! (I woke up this morning, with a heavy feeling)

Shida shared a story about Nabi 'Isa -of how we, human are after money, status, credit
Puteri shared her feelings with what happened recently.

"Whoever hurts us, we should be thankful. Because we always know that HE is waiting for us to come back"

"Allah ni maha pengasih & penyayang. We may not get the reward now, but definitely sooner or later, we'll be rewarded for something that is more deserving, i/Allah"

__________________________________________________________________

Cheer up, Aqilah!
This is the real world, you have to face it.

**So, next time, when this unfair thing happens again (people claimed credit for  my hardwork), I hope I will be reminded with this again.


May Allah bless.

mind games? big no

I am not good in playing mind games.
In fact, I questioned a close of mine, Shida, why you silent your feelings and opinion, just for to make people see you cool and rational?

I am a frank person.
I say what I want to say. I get mad, I cry, I laugh whenever I want to.

But today..
I see the rational of being calculative..

Silverback

I went to KLAS last week, for the final interview to get a place in Management Trainee.
I was given an assignment to do a presentation (which is so interesting!). The title is "Should Zoo Negara import the Silverback Gorilla as An Exhibition and Why?"

________________________________________________________________________

Tbh, to be able become one of the contestants for the final stage is a remarkable thing that happened to me :) I actually screwed up so badly during the first interview due to the last minute notice..and because my resume decided to disappear out of nowhere.. So, I was stuttered and my sentences filled with err here and there. That is why, I am so grateful that I have been given a chance to become one of the eight finalist. (Fyi, hundreds people applied for this position).

The final presentation went well. I answered the panels' questions well.

However, one of the panelist think differently.. :(

"From your resume, I do acknowledge that you graduated with dietetics, which is different from other candidates (they are all aviation background grads), so I don't think you are fit with the program that we offer"

Cut it short -----------------------

Today, I heard one of the contestants received an email, stating that he is accepted for the program. I check my email, and there is none.

Guess I am not fit with that program.
Maybe my rezki is at somewhere else.

(Trying to keep calm *Breath heavily*)


P/s- I should treat myself with FamousAmos cookies >:( Will grab 'em after work.

Back

I went to meet Salsabila at KLCC yesterday.
As I rode LRT, I saw a woman with niqab. She was wearing a normal 50" tudung in red color.
When we arrived KLCC station, out of curiosity, i started the conversation.

"Salam. May I know how you wear this thing?"

She then looked at my face, and naturally she held my hand.

"Kenapa? Awak berminat nak pakai ke? Saya boleh ajar"

"Err.. I just curious, you know"

Then we talked along our way to KLCC. It was a pleasant conversation. She was a stranger and I was somehow feeling so comfortable talking to her.

__________________________________________________________________

And as I walked back home, I started to digest what's on my mind.
Tbh, it crossed my mind, well at least when I was still in high school.
But looking back at myself right now, and realizing my flaws here and there, maybe I should start with my akhlak first.

Still. Highest respect to those women who are wearing niqab! (I bet you are the chosen ones)

365.

time flies. fast. very fast. this week is dead week. next week is final week.
alhamdulillah dah nak habis 3 semester in states.

looking back through my journey in here, well it ain't easy i tell you.
but i am glad i went through it, no matter how hard it was.

i still feel slightly regret on how screwed i was during Fall' 11 final exam, BUT i do believe Allah has other plans for me, which is a wayyy better than before. ameen.

i am not going to rant here on how i feel right now bla bla bla but i want to write here that i am doing okay over here.
better than okay actually.


even it still stings, sometimes.



december 5th.
Ya Allah, beri lah kekuatan untuk kami semua dalam menghadapi cabaran hidup. ameen.

bye

*this might be the last post from me. decide to move to tumblr.

the phase

(the moment when other people understand you better than yourself)


I am a legal twenty-one woman.
note there, woman.

I always believe in myself, that I am old enough to handle everything in my life.
I always thought I don't give a damn what people say, what people think of me..

to be truth, it's not that 'i thought', but it is more like 'i am hoping that i don't care' #try really hard here. and to be honest, i do care what people say/think. i'm easily get upset when people talk negative things behind me.

takpe, by time i will grow up and learn, and i/Allah I will be stronger in the future.

I have some expectations on myself. what I wanna do, what I wanna to be as I grow up.

and tonight, let's loose a lil bit
i have to admit, i am still not stable enough and still amateur to have big steps in my life
(big steps here are referring to future planning, nak kerja kt mana, nak jadi dewasa, nak stop dengan perangai high-school, nak kena 'limit'kan pergaulan)



thanks umi for understanding me so well, you're right, i am still your little daughter. still baby-ish at some points.

& thanks to an important person of mine for understanding this transition phase.
give me time, i want to explore the world before i decide when i want to stop and get ready for the next step.

may Allah ease.



:)

don't have to try, i guess?

i heard a quote saying "never try to explain yourself to people. people who love you didn't need it and people who hate you won't believe it anyway", i know i know

but sometimes, it just over my patience limit, yknow :/
i feel bad, i am not trying to be rude, it just the way i defend myself.

can you please, before simply make a conclusion please do ask first.
(okay, but people are born to be judgemental, me too)
tapi boleh kan kalau simpan dalam hati je, tak payah attack straight forward? :| *terasa*

if and only if life is this easy

"Sometimes we see some people are happy and lucky, but lil that we know they had face the endless hardship before"

p/s-kena minta maaf nie T.T