Yolanda's Last Post

Dear Loyal Followers of Yolanda's Blog:

My name is Tim and I am Yolanda's best friend, soul-mate and husband.

It's with a heavy heart and teary eyes that I have to announce that Yolanda lost her battle with cancer one month ago today, on April 8, 2011. She was out of pain, peaceful and surrounded loved ones. She fought bravely and very hard.

I want to personally thank each and everyone of her blog followers for giving her the inspiration to keep fighting. Your collective motivation kept her going through a long and aggressive treatment plan.(you have to know this) It all added up to me being able to spend more time with Yolanda and Yolanda taking her best shot to have a chance to take her next shot.

Thank you all for my greatest gift, a few more months with my wife.

Peace to you all,

Tim

December 27, 2010

UPDATE:

Merry Christmas and Happy New year to readers, friends and family. I am sorry I haven't been able to keep up with posting photos. My heart is broken. I am disabled now, and cannot walk on my own. I am under home hospice care, and I don't get out of bed much. I hardly have strength to turn on the laptop. I am still in a good fight, and I do believe that I can get to a point where I would be feeling stronger, and getting back behind the camera. I have lots of little hopes and goals like that. It's what keeps me going. And thank you all for your thoughts and prayers, which lift my spirits to the sky!

I promise to keep you posted...

Yolanda

October 10, 2010


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I'm still here...

Fall is here too. I'm beginning to feel a little better and stronger this week. My friend Diane was kind enough to take me out for a ride in the country yesterday. The leaves are are starting to turn colors, and it's just so beautiful!

September 27, 2010

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It's a rough ride...

I won't lie - this has been a very hard month for me. I'm having a lot of pain, and have lost my ability to walk or stand (at least for periods more than a few seconds). I'm still trying to swallow that hard pill. I am sitting in the chair today, getting fed my chemotherapy cocktail. Keep hoping the poison somehow helps me get over this pain, and maybe restore some of my walking ability. Meanwhile, please hang in there with me, my friends and readers, sometimes I need a shove to get across the bridge.

September 15, 2010

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Boys Navigating the River

I have to revisit my last post regarding "sisu." It seems I was very much mistaken when I told the priest that my husband didn't speak a word of Finnish. Apparently he does know some Finnish (not fluent), but he is well aware of Finnish culture. The culture that he had learned from his father, and his grandfather, etc. He schooled me in the concept of sisu. He applies the concept of sisu every day in his professional life, and ironically enough, his company is based out of Finland. I should have realized that Tim embodies sisu - he has always been determined and driven, mainly because of this culture. This is what has made him so successful in his professional life. I suppose that the concept of sisu can be applied to many aspects of life. Until he pointed it out to me, I guess I hadn't realized that his characteristics have helped me in life, not only with my recent battle, but in many ways over the years we have known each other. I am sorry, Tim, for not recognizing this about you, or realizing that it was part of your cultural heritage. I do understand that you ARE sisu, and I can only wish to be as practiced at it as you are. Thank you for the enlightenment, and for opening my eyes!

September 12, 2010

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Sisu

During my stay in the hospital last week, there was a priest who would visit me every day to offer me a blessing and communion. I think his name was Father Tom... but I don't really remember. I remember he was an older man, with a sharp and dry sense of humor, and he made me smile, and it was almost like he understood everything that was going on in my head. He liked to say my name, and he recognized it as Finnish. He said that he knew one Finnish word... "sisu." He said "ask your husband what that word means." I chuckled and said my husband doesn't speak a word of Finnish. He pointed at my computer and said "well, then Google it!" And so I did....

According to Wikepedia: Sisu is a Finnish term loosely translated into English as strength of will, determination, perseverance, and acting rationally in the face of adversity. However, the word is widely considered to lack a proper translation into any language. Sisu has been described as being integral to understanding Finnish culture. The literal meaning is equivalent in English to "having guts", and the word derives from sisus, which means something inner or interior. However sisu is defined by a long-term element in it; it is not momentary courage, but the ability to sustain an action against the odds. Deciding on a course of action and the sticking to that decision against repeated failures is sisu. It is similar to equanimity, except the forbearance of sisu has a grimmer quality of stress management than the latter. The noun sisu is related to the adjective sisukas, one having the quality of sisu.

Do you think he was trying to give me a message?

September 10, 2010

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Renaissance Center

The iconic Motor City home of General Motors.

They tell me I can leave the hospital today! They got my blood counts up to normal after many transfusions, etc. I am feeling better and much less like a zombie. I don't want to go home just for the sake of getting out of here, I want to go home feeling good, and I think that's how I will be leaving today. Feeling strong and energetic! Thank you for all the support! :)

September 8, 2010

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More Rough Times... :(

Urban slums from Detroit, uneasy, and a little scary. But nonetheless, very colorful.

I am so very far behind. It has been a rough few weeks for me, and things got so much worse yesterday. I was admitted to the hospital and I may be here a while. My blood counts are very low and unstable, and they are trying to figure out how to get me tuned up. Seems pretty typical for this particular chemotherapy to keep blood counts normal, but wow. I have been given so many transfusions, shots, EKG, drugs, drugs, and more drugs. I'm hoping to get some better news on my last blood labs, and hoping that things are rising. On the bright side,I have a nice private corner room with a nice view. Meanwhile, I am falling hard, and I'm very scared as everything is so uncertain.

September 3, 2010


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The Urban Cheat

OK, it has been a rough week for me. The chemo treatment kicked my ass and I admit defeat. Some shots from last week's drive through Detroit. This is an abandoned train station. I've always loved this building - it has been sitting abandoned and in ruins for years. The classic architectural style, just a shell of a building. Urban decay at its finest - this always reminded me of a comic book scene, like Gotham City!

August 30, 2010

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The Innocence of Dirty Feet

I loved that Holly's baby was enjoying the earth and being carefree - not that she's running around yet, but just a nice day to stick your feet in the dirt and crawl around on a picnic blanket in the shade. I can tell she will be running soon!

As for me, I am in the chemo la-z-boy today, getting a new treatment. I like the new hospital, and they tell me that there will be a massage therapist tomorrow! I'm coming for treatment over the next few days, then I'm done for 3 weeks! I like the new schedule. But, nonetheless, I am back in hospital jail for the moment. I've been having a hard time walking/standing lately, with lots of back and leg pain, and losing these simple freedoms is very troublesome. I'm hoping that this treatment helps with this pain, and I will be able to run my feet through the dirt again soon.

August 29, 2010

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Baptism on the Detroit River

Inspired by Dragonstar's Weekend in Black and White.

August 28, 2010

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Ford's Flowers

These are fields of sunflowers that live near the Ford Motor Company, World Headquarters in Dearborn, Michigan. It's where Holly works and she wanted to show me these glorious fields of sunshine that she looks at every day. We spent most of the day driving around the motor city, Henry Ford Museum, Greenfield Village, Belle Isle, and more! As always, Holly is a muse in my quest for photographic opportunities. She's a plethora of information, and a wonderful tour guide. Even though half the time we end up having to stop to feed the baby in a slum. :) Luv ya Holly!

August 21, 2010

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Farm Market

A few clues will tell you that this photo is a cheat (taken yesterday); but as you know me, I tend to break that rule a lot lately! First, the ISO speed was set too high, and also, it depicts a sunny day, which today is definitely NOT a sunny day :)

Nonetheless, a view from the country. Diane shared some tomatoes and sweet melon - delish!

August 20, 2010


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Oooooops!!!

I was wondering why all my photos from today were very overexposed. I only noticed now that my ISO was set to 1600!! I forgot to change it back from an inside shot from yesterday.

Oh well... Still a fun day with Diane - we had a picnic at the pond, and rented this paddle boat and floated around for a while. It was a bit hot out there, but it was a nice day to goof off!

August 19, 2010

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It's Mexican Restaurant Review Time!

Went to lunch with Diane today and she assured me that I would LIKE this place. I hadn't tried it until today, but I was pleasantly surprised!

The chips were homemade and fresh, however, I didn't care for the salsa - the hot or the mild. For lunch I had a taco and an enchilada. The enchilada sauce had an unexpected cinnamon flavor. The taco was pretty darn good too. I had a cup of pinto beans - sort of like a soup. I enjoyed dipping my chips in the pinto beans, rather than the salsa. Diane had the chicken nachos which were also very good! So, for me, it was a win. If I want to eat anything close to Mexican food in this neck of the woods, I will definitely come back to El Vaquero! (Secor Rd).

August 16, 2010

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Tornado Damage

This taken at Oak Openings Metropark - aftermath of a tornado that happened several months ago. It's destruction was quite random and unpredictable - tree trunks and branches snapped off; twisting and tearing the trees apart at its will.

I feel like this forest. I did not get good news from the doctor today. Seems my cancer continues to ravage my body and lymph nodes. The treatments were looking promising, but now it's a different story. Some of it has returned, and has invaded other areas. Just like this tornado ripping trees apart, this disease is doing the same to me. My spirit is broken, and my hope has been taken away. I can't say that I am surprised by the outcome, but I did have hope for better news. I fought hard over the past 7 months, and now it feels like it was all for naught. I will continue to fight, and live with this tornado in my body; and hope that I will eventually find my way back to the other side of the rainbow.

August 12, 2010


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Emerald Lake

More experimenting with Photomatix. This time with tone mapping with one single image, rather than merged images with different exposures. The result is almost the same as a true HDR.

I'm using Photomatix in a trial mode, which is why the "Photomatix" watermark. See the "before" image below which is the image prior to tone mapping.

August 11, 2010

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Glass

OK, well I am having difficulty keeping up with the photo journal. Since I've been back to Ohio, I haven't taken any pictures. Not sure if depression is setting in again, or if I'm just trying to re-adjust. I have had a lot of pain and discomfort lately, which makes it hard to get motivated to get out shooting. Not feeling much inspiration at the moment. So bear with me while I work through my creative/activity block...

August 10, 2010

HDR Experiment

Takakkaw Falls

I shot this scene with a few different exposures, and then merged them all using Photomatix. I have never done HDR before, but it's something I would like to experiment with some more!

August 6, 2010

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Bath Tub

Well, I think only Tony can get away with having rusty bath tubs in his yard :)

I am leaving the NW to go back to Ohio tomorrow. I am so sad to leave, and I can't believe how fast this time went. I was so grateful to see all my friends, my familiar places, and the beautiful landscapes around me. My heart is breaking. I hope that my next hospital jail sentence doesn't keep me as long as last time. I can't wait to come back. I am scared to learn my sentence, but I have to stand strong.

I am also leaving with a new look - Tony's new lady Dana gave me a fun new style - and funky color too :)

August 5, 2010

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Pool Night

Went for a few drinks and a few games of pool with Tony and Frank. I actually won a game against Frank - I am very much out of practice!!

This was with the zoom lens, high ISO needed for the low-light.

August 4, 2010

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Biker Bar

August 3, 2010

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Mountain Flowers

These pretty purple stalks growing near Bow Lake in Yoho National Park, BC.

I'm still trying to get caught up on my blog - just finished posting in the blanks for July, now I have to start moving forward!

August 1, 2010

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Maybe it Was the Roses

Happy Birthday Jerry - he would have been 68 today. We spent some time at the Edgefield today rocking his soul. So nice to see his memory kept alive with a beautiful day to celebrate.

July 31, 2010

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Tree House

Another view of the tree house... yes, it is made of gigantic trees, and sits in the trees. It feels like a tree house. Unlike a tree house, it has running water and electricity. It doesn't have internet, but I didn't miss it. It's in the Canadian Rockies in Golden, BC.

Now that I am back to civilization... (huh?) I will be able to catch up on my blog!

July 30, 2010

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Tree House

This is the wonderful new vacation home in which I just spent the last few weeks. I'm back in the NW now, but I'm missing the views and the backyard wildlife. It was amazing waking up here each morning!

July 28, 2010

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Paragliders

It turns out that this week was the Canadian Paragliding championships. Some of these pilots have flown all the way to the US border (a 200 mile trip)!

I was going to take a tandem ride on one of these, but my legs haven't been strong enough to run for the takeoff. But this is a ride that I will be taking; hopefully next visit before winter.

July 27, 2010

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Neighborhood Drop Zone

Spent the afternoon with a few beers watching the paragliders and hang gliders land after flying from Mount Seven.