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jiwa feb 2010

dear..

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall
You say it best.. when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd (the crowd)
Try as they may they can never define
What's been said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall
You say it best.. when you say nothing at all

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall
You say it best.. when you say nothing at all

(You say it best when you say nothing at all
You say it best when you say nothing at all..)

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know that you need me..

but dear .. say one thing.. one thing that i have been longed to hear

02 Jan 2010

Happy birthday my darling gurl..

Thanks for being there for me, be good & love u !

Didn't Know My Own Strength

today 1st day of 1431H, marks another new calendar
new year resolutions? yet to define i guess..
3As are away , maid on 1 week leave(better be 1 week)
so here i m.. enjoying my all-by-myself moment..

looking back this song somewhat relates to me ..

May the force be with me along this my-so-called-life.

Lost touch with my soul
I had no where to turn
I had no where to go
Lost sight of my dream,
Thought it would be the end of me
I thought I’d never make it through
I had no hope to hold on to,
I thought I would break

I didn’t know my own strength
And I crashed down, and I tumbled
But I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn’t know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour
My faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up
Hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn’t know my own strength

Found hope in my heart,
I found the light to life
My way out of the dark
Found all that I need
Here inside of me
I thought I’d never find my way
I thought I’d never lift that weight
I thought I would break

I didn’t know my own strength
And I crashed down, and I tumbled
But I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn’t know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour
My faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up
Hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn’t know my own strength

There were so many times I
Wondered how I’d get through the night I
Thought took all I could take

I didn’t know my own strength
And I crashed down, and I tumbled
But I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn’t know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour
My faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up
Hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn’t know my own strength

when you have someone dear to love..

I must have been bad servant lately as i had two TKO (yup.. Total-Knocked-out)weekends in a row. This weekend is even worse as the whole A clans 'collapsed'. Started with Big A having flu on thursday and seemed like he passed to the whole clans thereafter.

The living room turned to be the 'family suite' ward.I was the pesakit tegar as compared to 3As. They were bz hooked on PS2 & internet where I slept and slept and slept until forgot what days it was. What else i could be doing if the Tv & internet were all taken. Terrible huh..?

I feel bad as if i have not been good mami to 3As lately.Everything just seems to be weighing me down for the past 2 weeks or so.I just find it so difficult to stay strong sometimes. At times, i am so mad at myself for i fail in anger management.I wish i could have a lil more patience when it comes to handling 3As. They are just kids.. they cant sit still. I must keep in mind that when they fight it's their way to seek my attention.. mami..dont loose your head! After all,their world revolve around mami.They only have an average of 3 hours to spend with mami on the weekdays.Is that too much to ask for? uhmm..i feel bad.. bad to the bone..

Oh god, I am thankful for blessing me 3 adorable guardian angels.Please give me strength to carry on as I yet to fulfill my duties to you..

at this quiet hour i sat down and whisper to myself
'when you have someone dear to love, love them dearly.. !!'

when i get sick..

when our mind is at a mess , it affects our body. U will easily get sick!.
True enough. Though my normal weekend routine just stay at home but stay at home with frequent trip to the bathroom , fighting with the gassy tummy is the last thing you might want. i had to lie down and curled up when the gas attacked!. Luckily 3As slept over Mr B's house.otherwise i'll be like the 'step-mom-from-hell' i guess.

oh last week , i bumped into my colleague's car at the regular petrol station.He was driving with his wife on the way to work. While i was still in baju tido and on my way to fetch my 2As to KAFA.aiyooohh...

Me: 'look, itu kawan opis mami.. '
girl :'yg mana satu.lelaki ke perempuan..?'
Me: 'both.. they are husband and wife. baru kahwin je'
girl :*pat me on my back* ' Sabar mami.. jgn sedih2 ok ?'
Me: 'Kenapa pulak'
girl: ' ye la.. kawan mami tu ada suami..'

My oh my.. what was she thinking ya.. ? she felt that i was offended ?see.. only perempuan paham perempuan kan ..

Then she started another conversation..

girl: 'Mami.. kwn sekolah agama kakak ckp.. mami ni kadang2 cantik.. kadang2 tak'
me:*giggle*
girl:'kakak ckp .. memang la. kalu awak nampak cantik tu.. mak kita dah nak g keja.. kalu tak cantik tu.. sebab mak kita belom mandi '
me: hahahahahahahahahahaah


And i dropped them at KAFA with a big smile that day..

white noise ..

i am so depressed ..

everything seems to sound like white noise to me..

get me outta here!!!