Alright TJ, just know you asked for this.
- It’s been universally accepted across all timelines, verses, whatever, that Anko has a daughter first. It’s her greatest fear and greatest joy to have a daughter. She has the faulty perception that raising a daughter right will prove to the world that she isn’t as broken or fucked up as they thought. And it’s also a jab at her parents, who in canon verse abandon her after she returns from Orochimaru.
- She loves it. She is terrified, nervous that she will ruin everything on day one, but she is excited, and every moment is one she loves. Oh, she bitches endlessly about early morning diaper changes and feeding and loud crying and all the awful things babies do, but the truth is that to Anko this is very selfishly something she wants and needs: something to depend on her, and something she can be good for.
- She adores her brats. Wants to kick them sometimes. Is a particularly sassy parent, and not the empathetic parent, but seeing as she was such a problem person herself she sees (in theory) past immediate issues to the potential they have. In reality, she wants to smack her kids sometimes. They’re too much like her.
- I think… assuming the father is in the picture, they relate to him more, because Anko is loving in a bullying sort of way. Even to her kids. But it is love, and she is soft to them when she can be, and over the years she is more open to them and more receptive.
- Possible dads: Tenzo, duh. They find that one out and there’s a beat of silence before Iruka chips in, “Well, I’ll go get the coat hanger.” If Iruka’s the dad? That would be the most loving environment, raised by two people without families themselves, and there would probably be a mix of Iruka’s overbearing empathy and attempts to drive the kid down the right path and Anko’s ‘let the fucker do what they want’ attitude.
- In an AU with Itachi, Anko eventually moves to the Uchiha compound, despite the fact she is initially very against the idea. They help take care of the kids, and she doesn’t have to give up her role as a kunoichi. And to no ones surprise, Itachi loves being a parent.
- With Shisui, he has a falling out with the Uchiha, and part of it concerns the notion that an Uchiha child needs to be raised by the clan when Anko won’t have any of it. They all end up having her last name, and they learn about their Sharingan’s through Shisui and Itachi.
- There’s a sweet little RP there somewhere about Anko’s daughter awakening her sharingan on a mission and coming home, and Anko sending a note to dad being like, ‘Oi, Uchiha. Get your butt home.’ Shisui comes home and asks, ‘I heard my favorite girl has something to tell me?’ It’s awful and sweet, because Shisui has never wanted his kids to have the Sharingan, and there is this passive thought from their daughter that it’s a bad thing she has it, until Shisui corrects her. It’s not bad, it’s just sad, because it means daddy couldn’t protect her.
- It’s a very peace-time thought. Anko and Shisui both know the lack of practicality that comes with it. But still, this is their daughter, and it’s not a bad thing to want to keep them from pain, even if it is unrealistic.
- tldr; Anko is the snarkiest, crudest mom on the block, but she’s also the mom who you can come to for things like… first kisses and first crushes and making bad decisions and she’ll call you an idiot but she’ll take care of you, and she won’t judge you, because goddamn she did some stupid shit as a kid. And sometimes this is a bad thing, because she thinks people need to go and experience life themselves, but sometimes it is a very good thing too.
- You made me write an essay I hope you are happy.
She made a sharp little sound, one part irritation and two parts guilty conscience. Of course he wouldn’t; she really did know that, but defensive offense was sort of a default setting with her. Not fair to him, though, especially when he really had been a huge help overall. She glowered at the far corner of the room, aware again that ‘sorry’ would be better than continued silence and still too stubborn to just say it.
At least the adrenaline rush had sped up the wearing-off of his toxin. Her body was mostly obeying her again, even if it did feel like crap.
“For what it is worth, I am sorry for using my insects against you. However, it was clear your health and life were at stake. Under normal circumstances, such things would not have been warranted.” He sat next to her, clearly trying to calm her down, or at least be logical. “If you had explained the issue beforehand, no one would have thought less of you. I myself have a note in my file regarding needles and the like, due to my insects.”
Not the same, she wanted to snap, but then that would invite poking at specifics about her situation. Which…argh. She wanted to, she didn’t want to, she hated that she even had to deal with this phobia at all and maybe talking about it wouldn’t actually be all bad but she’d worked ever since—him—to cope and conquer and keep it secret, and letting it out went against every instinct she had.
Except Shino had clearly already figured it out, at least in part. And he didn’t exactly deserve the sullen bitchy treatment she was giving him, not when he’d acted out of friendship and concern and probably saved her worthless hide while he was at it.
“’S not usually this bad,” she finally said, low and a little grumbly, still staring more away than at him. “’M usually better’t controlling it.”
