cheCk thiS out!!!

BARU JE NAK UPDATE

Assalamualaikum...

Dari hari tu lagi plan nak update, tapi tak sempat2. Yelah, bila baby Huzaifah bangun je, ummi dia tak leh nak buat apa la.. Ni pun, baru je nak update, dia dah bangun! Kacau steam betul anak ummi ni!!! :D

Anyways, macam2 citer sebenarnya nak story mory kat blog ni.. Yelah, dah lama sangat tak mengupdate citer Huzaifah... and citer2 sensasi kat Hospital Machang ni! :D

HUZAIFAH

His favorite word is Aaaaaappppaaaahhhhh! Aaaaapppaahhh!

When he thinks he's cute, he'll give a big smile...

When he wants to sleep, he'll suck his thumb and hold his "napkin bucuk"!

His face now.... chubby cheeks, ramos hair

He has sensational looks from his kacukan eyes (from Ayah n Ummi, besar kat tengah, sepet kut tepi)

Things yet to learn: Meniarap n start weaning food... hehe.

When he breastfeed, his eyes will go terbalik ke atas... hehe

hmmm... huzaifah dah nangis la... bye

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri Kepada Semua Dari Huzaifah...

more pictures at fotopages

CUTI NUZUL QUR'AN

Assalamualaikum...


Apa khabar semua? Dah lama blog ni tak berupdate.. hehe. Sori la kat makcik2 pakcik2 yang nak tahu perkembangan Huzaifah sekarang ni... :)

HUZAIFAH

Alhamdulillah, Huzaifah dah 3 bulan 2 minggu.

Besar panjang dah si kenit teme'ot ni (nickname Nenek panggil).

Pandai nangis, kuat minum susu and hisap ibu jari kanan dan kiri.

Kalau di agah, suka senyum. Tak kena cara diagah, kena marah lah kita.

Tak suka meniarap. Tapi dah boleh meniarap sikit2. Kena tolong tolak buntut dia.

Paras rupa banyak ikut Ayahnya... :)

DR NEHAR

Cerita Ummi plak, hari tu banyak idea nak citer, tapi la ni, tak nak kuar la plak. :) Alhamdulillah, bulan puasa ni dapat puasa... Cuma awal2 puasa hari tu demam. So, ponteng satu hari sebab makan ubat. Badan tak larat sangat. Ingatkan Denggi, tapi cek darah 356 000 platelet! Hemoglobin pun 14!! hehe. Ntah bila nak derma darah ni... :) Still menyusu Huzaifah sekarang ni.. Dah nampak dah kesannya... Berat Ummi dah turun! Jadi kurus boleh nak pakai baju2 kurung yang ada. Hari tu siap tempah baju sebab berat badan naik, baju nak pakai pergi kerja pun tak muat dah! hehe...

Syukur sebab suami yang menggalakkan susu badan. Dia sanggup berkorban tenaga supaya Ummi susu badan. Banyak kebaikannya, InsyaAllah... Semuga Allah memberi nikmat kesihatan pada suami yang banyak berkorban dan memberi galakan... Ameen.

Sebut pasal kerja pulak, awal2 Ramadhan hari tu tak ramai pesakit2 dalam wad, tapi bila dah tengah2 Ramadhan ni, ramai jugak. Kebanyakannya masuk wad sebab sakit gastrik dan kencing manis... Yelah, bazaar Ramadhan jual kuih2 manis... :) Ada juga pesakit, makcik2 tua yang memang suka masuk wad.. :) Jadi layanan mesra diberi sebagai ubat penawar jiwa... WALLAHUA'LAM

InsyaAllah, minggu depan kami 3 sekeluarga akan ke rumah Nenek/Tok Ayah di Cheras. Huzaifah 1st time nak naik AirAsia ni.. Hopefully takde apa2 masalah... Raya kami di Kelantan kali ini sebab suami terpaksa Oncall Hari Raya Kedua. 1st day Raya beraya sekejap di Pasir Pekan kemudian, kena standby di Hospital sebab passive oncall. Jadi, bak kata adikku, Moksu Ajin... "Tahun ni kita balik raya kat kampung mana? Machang ke Manchester?" hehe. Nenek/Tok Ayah yang kena balik kampung kami bukan kami yang balik kampung... :)

Apa2pun, hopefully oncall Raya ni tak sibuk mana... Ameen.


BERITA SEMASA

Nurin Jazlin: Al Fatihah...
Manusia terlalu kejam bertopengkan syaitan...

Peristiwa Batu Buruk: Fasobrun jameel...
Sakit hati tengok TV!!!

4 budak 5 tahun lemas: Al-Fatihah..
Pusat Kesihatan disalahkan???

Joget lambak ..........: Astaghfirullahal 'azim.
Syaitan dah dikurung di bulan puasa ini!!!

Macam2 dapat tengok kat TV sekarang ni... disebabkan terpaksa layan Huzaifah waktu lepas berbuka puasa, pasangla TV tengok berita... Hmmm....

Oklah... Lastly... Ni lah gambar senyum manis Huzaifah... hehe. Susah betul nak senyum depan kamera... :p

FIRST DAY AT WORK

Assalamualaikum,

Alhamdulillah, today went to work at the Hospital Machang for the first time. Straight to the female ward since I'll be in charge of that ward for the time being... Since I'm breastfeeding Huzaifah, I asked my sister to call me whenever Huzaifah wants his milk... Alhamdulillah, the ward and my house is 3 minutes walk...

Alhamdulillah, Allah made it easy for us... :)

Hmmm, dah lama tak pegang pen, keras tangan nak menulis.... Otak pun jadi jammed sekejap bila tanya2, periksa patients.. :( Slowly, I'll pick up the skills again la, insyaAllah... The ward was full with patients, extended beds lagi... Aiyark!!! By 1pm baru habis keje dengan 3 kali ulang alik rumah... :D

Alhamdulillah, Allah helped me... :)

Huzaifah was feverish last night. Tak aktif langsung dia.. Ayah dia memang risau sangat tengok anak dia tak gerak kaki tangan seperti selalu... Memang bagi dia minum syrup panadol sokmo2 n mandikan Huzaifah kerap sikit...

Alhamdulillah, Allah helped Huzaifah... :)

"I'm 2 months old!!! Hero to get jabbed laaa"


P/s: Tengahari tadi, Abang ajak lunch di hospital sebab hari ni ada Klinik Pakar.. Alhamdulillah. Staffnurses yang jumpa kami cakap, "Muka bini doktor sama dengan doktor la..." kekeke... Where's the similarities??? And if that so, Huzaifah ikut muka saper??? hehe

HUZAIFAH TURNS 2

Assalamualaikum

Huzaifah got his 1st injection today... He cried aloud once then he slept off!!! hehe... OUR HERO!!!

And thanks to Ummi Raiyan's Kek Batik's recipe, it turned out good!!! :D Boleh la bukak francais Kek Batik Raiyan kat Hospital Machang plak... hehe. Hmm.. Nak start keje esok, baru sibuk2 nak surf internet cari good recipes to try out.. hehe

Lastly, want to share this "message" for those out there.. :) Got it from makannasik's blog...

MORE OF HUZAIFAH's ACTIONS

Assalamualaikum...

Tomorrow, insyaAllah Huzaifah's turning 2 months... Will be getting his 1st injection!!! Hopefully, he'll be well... He knows how to smile, suck his mittens and moving all his 4 limbs... hehe.

Going to work on Wednesday... :( At the same time breastfeeding Huzaifah...May Allah make it easy for me and Huzaifah... Alhamdulillah, Ajin, my youngest sister here, taking her own school holidays... So, she's the unpaid babysitter for a week! :D

Doa for us..

BLOGGING

Asalamualaikum...

Alhamdulillah, for the past few days, I had been teaching my Bibik to take care of Huzaifah. Intensive training to babysit Huzaifah since I'll be starting to work next week... :( She's quite OK! Hopefully, she'll take good care of my little Baby Caliph... She also do the cleaning and cooking... However, she doesn't have to cook whenever my husband oncall because, my husband would bring back food, in the "mangkuk tingkat". Lunch and dinner. So, we'll have a feast eating the hospital food.. hehe... :D

Anyways, while she took care of Huzaifah, I cooked, altering my "bundle" curtains, and cleaned up things in the new house... I also got the chance to watch TV and browsing through the webs and blogs that I have left behind to read... Anyways, nice to read infos from SusuIbu.com. Well, I'm trying to breastfeed my little Baby Caliph here. So, just getting some tips from there.. Alhamdulillah, they gave quite useful infos...

Last Saturday, I watch RTM2 drama, Seharum Al Zahra. It was a very good movie. It was about a married couple, Zahra and Arman longing for their own child. Finally, they adopted a newborn. Rokiah, the newborn's mother was a first time mother who lost her husband during her 8-9 months pregnancy. Postnatally, she was depressed and thought about her baby. Her breasts were engorged because she wasn't breastfeeding. So, she kidnapped back her baby from Zahra... Zahra was so sad...

Zahra was working with the volunteer group like Mercy, sort of. She knew a nice girl, Jasmin. Zahra asked her husband Arman, to marry Jasmin as his 2nd wife since she overheard Arman's conversation with his parents... Nak cucu, darah daging sendiri, nak turunkan harta...

Jasmin was pregnant in no time, and Zahra was getting jealous over her madu. Finally Jasmin gae birth and the part that tou hed my heart was when Arman and Zahra had a heart to heart conversation. Zahra said that she had lost in the battle to overcome her jealousy. She kept on asking why was she not pregnant, and why it had to be her? Arman was consolling her, saying that if he knew that a child can cause their marriage to ruin, he would rather not getting married to the 2nd wife and get a child.

In the end, Zahra and Jasmin get back together and she went to Mecca. When she came back, she was pregnant twin.. hehe

A simple Malay typical story, but I like it.. By the way, there are only RTM1, RTM2, TV3 here in Machang. hehe. No ntv7, tv9, tv8 or Astro. hehe.

Oklah... Browsing through other websites... :)

WHILE HUZAIFAH'S HALF ASLEEP...

Assalamualaikum,



Alhamdulillah, hari ni tergerak hati nak meng"update"...tapi tak tahu lah sempat habis cerita ke tak coz, my Baby Caliph is halp asleep... Dia dah ngantuk tapi, bila nak masuk deep sleep dia, dia terjaga. Tunggu dia nak tido betul, lama sangat! :)

Anyways, syukur Alhamdulillah... This is the first time I'm blogging from Hospital Machang Quarters. We staying nearby the Hospital because it's cheap and also, it's very near to the hospital!!! :) Rezeki Huzaifah nak duduk rumah besar sangat2!!! Old Quarters house. 4 rooms + big hall for the living and dining room + big kitchen + backyard size of badminton court! hehehe. Anybody passing through Machang, come over to our house! We still have 2 rooms vacant... ;)


Menyambung menulis where I left off yesterday....

While Huzaifah asleep also, baru la boleh mengadap laptop ni. :) Alhamdulillah, he's asleep... For the past 2 days, it was very difficult for him to sleep... MasyaAllah... Tukar bulan? Tukar ragam?

Hm... best dapat baca blog kawan2 yang dah lama tak mengupdate, finally updated dah blog nye! Bila tengok my blog, dah lama jugak tak di update.. hehe. Teruja plak tengok org lain citer macam2... So, here comes my story...

I really wanted to share How Baby Caliph Was Born at Hospital Serdang on the 16th June 2007! :) Boleh kan? :)

Actually that week, my Mak was away to Canada. Actually she thought it was already cancelled, but suddenly she had to go there for work from the 8th until 15th June... And my other family members, Ayah, Ajin, Apis and Esan went for holiday at Bali from 11th until 15th June 2007. They went on the AirAsia's 1 million free ticket early this year. Mak was supposed to go as well, but she couldn't. So, the one who was left behind, me and the maid in the house for the whole week. I was nearing my due, 38 weeks +++. My Abangalong stays nearby, at Bandar Tun Hussein Onn as well. So, he will be called if I go into labor...

Alhamdulillah, I was accompanied by my husband, my twin, and my auntie when my family were not around in the house. They actually took turn! :) My husband was around from 10th-13th. On the 14th, my husband oncall at KB, so, my twin took over on her day off. She brought me to the Hospital Serdang for my last antenatal check up before my due date on the 18th June 2007. I learned the breathing exercise on that day... hehe. Nasib tak beranak lagi! ;) And the doc did the scan and told that it mayb be baby girl?? hehe. For the past 9 months, I thought I was going to have a baby boy... ;) hehe... Thanks to my twin for sparing her time melayan mak buyung ni! The next day, on the 15th my auntie was around since my twin had to go to work that evening...

15th June 2007, Jumaat
That morning, my twin was still around... When I went to the toilet, I saw spot of blood which we call it "show". Dah ada tanda awal nak bersalin ni... Tapi, nak kata sakit perut takde la sangat. Pecah air ketuban pun takde.. My twin had to go at 11am. My aunt came to accompany me at 12pm. I told my Abangalong. He came after Solat Jumaat with one of his twin. But, I was walking fine. No pain at all and no more blood coming out after that when I went to the toilet...

I sms my husband telling him that I had "show". He was very tired that day... He had to be oncall the day before... Dah lah sehari sebelum tu duduk KL. Balik KB semata2 kerana oncall.. So, he said he was still undecided whether he wanted to go back to KL or not.. I just told him that I prayed to Allah to deliver on that day since he will have 2 days off from work... and I don't know how to take back my doa after asking from Allah...

At 6pm, my Mak came home and my aunt went back to her house at Bukit Manjalara. Mak was exhausted. She hadn't had enough sleep and the flight journey was 20 hours +++. After Maghrib, she was asleep.

At 7pm, suddenly my husband said that he already booked Air Asia's ticket to fly to KL at 940pm and will be arriving at KL 1040pm. Alhamdulillah.. :) :) :)

At 9pm my Muksu called to talk to Mak but Mak was asleep... she asked me whether I have any signs of labor... I told her I had "show". Then, she said, walk around more and insyaAllah the delivery will be soon and easy.

At 10pm, I switched on the TV and saw Terminator 3 was on. hehe. While watching the movie, I practised the breathing exercise I learned from the antenatal class the day before. Then, I decided to walk up and down the stairs in the house whenever the advertisement in between the movie. I felt irregular pain but not so severe. My husband arrived at 1040pm at LCCT. I asked my Abangalong to go there a bit early to fetch my husband aswell since he was picking up my Ayah and the gang arriving from Bali... They had McDonald's burgers while waiting for the Ayah and the gang to arrive at 1130pm.

16th June 2007, Sabtu

At12am, I switched off the TV. Went to solat hajat and recited surah Maryam...

At 1230am, my husband knocked the door and Alhamdulillah, the whole family was back and I was still not delivered! :) Mak came down after a good sleep and saw my husband. She was quite shocked since I told her that he was not coming... hehe.. We chatted about their holidays in Bali, saw some pictures and ate chocolates until 130am.

At 0130am, I told the rest that I wanted to go to sleep. I was afraid if I had to go into labor and have not enough sleep...

At 0230am, I felt very severe pain!!! I could still handle the pain.. Thought it was just another premature contractions.. But then, it was very severe and then, my husband timed it. It was getting regular and stronger. He said to wait until 0330am. I said OK. When it was 3-4 contractions in 10 minutes, my husband said he'll bathe and solat hajat, then to wake up Ayah to go to the Hospital Serdang. I prepared myself, brought the Baby's Caliph's bag and my bag. My husband asked me to drink a sip of air zam-zam before going...

At 0330, I went to the toilet to pee and felt like "berak". But I was afraid if I "berak" my baby instead of my poo poo. hehe. So, I went out the toilet and Mak was looking into my bags and hugged me. She wanted to follow, but Ayah was already in the car. hehe. In the car, the contraction pain was so severe... I knew Ayah was panic! hehe. He said later, "Jalan kosong, takde kereta. Tapi, Ayah pelik kenapa Ayah bawak slow sangat. Jauhnya nak sampai Hospital Serdang!!!" hehe. Bayangkanla anak dia duk sakit kat belakang, "Aduh, sakitnya"... panic la dia.. hehe

At 0400am, we arrived Hospital Serdang. Went to the Labour Room. I was really in pain... The staffnurse did things very slowly... Then, she asked me to lie down on the bed. She checked and told me that my os was open 3cm, stretchable to 4cm and very well effaced. My contraction pain was very strong! She asked whether I drank air selusuh?? Air zam-zam je adalah... :) My baby was doing fine after she checked the CTG (baby's heart rate). Then, the doctor checked and broke my waterbag and Alhamdulillah, it was clear liquor, meaning my baby's fine... Then, the os was already 5cm. I asked for epidural, but the doctor said that there's no epidural available.. So, I asked for painkiller and she said they will give in the labor room.

At 0415am, they pushed me to the labour room. The room was so big and I was the only patient. The doctor and the staffnurses prepared me on the bed, and told me to ring the bell by the bedside if I need anything. Then, I felt like "nak berak", the head's coming out or something like that... So, I rang the bell but nobody came. So I shouted!!! hehehe. A screamer I was when I was a kid and back at school... The doctor came and checked me, and my os was already 7cm. I asked her to give me painkiller, but she just gave me Entonox. No point giving painkiller at that stage also...and I hated the Entonox!!! I asked her to call my husband... So, my husband came at last and I told him it was 7cm... He was calm and asked to lie down left side and to push yet! After 2 contraction pain, the doctor who was still there checked me again and told me, that I can push whenever I felt pain... She did an episiotomy which was awfully painful!!! I pushed the baby with just 2 pushes and Baby Caliph was out in the world at 0455am on 16th June 2007... Allahuakbar!!!

At 0730am, I was pushed to the ward... Alhamdulillah.. :) Gave Baby Caliph to sip air zam-zam and then had to struggle to breastfeed him... :)

At 630pm, I was discharged home and went to Abangalong's house because they did a small kenduri for the twin's 1 year old birthday. hehe. The twins had their cousin as a birthday gift from me and my husband... And my Abangalong reminded me that he got me as his 1 year old birthday gift! hehe

Birthdays
Abangalong: 25th February 1979
Mine: 25th February 1980
Afdhal n Arshad : 16th June 2006
Huzaifah: 16th June 2007

It was just a coincidence... ;) Allah yang susun semuanya... Alhamdulillah... Semuanya selamat...

Okes... Panjang lebar cerita kami... hehe. Punya la dah lama tak menulis blog!!! hehe. Final words from me...

Bila tengok Huzaifah..
Kadang2, teringat masa mengandungkan dia.. 2 kali masuk wad sebab premature contractions.
Kadang2, teringat masa melahirkan dia... Huzaifah lahir masa semua orang dah ada...
Kadang2, sedih kalau teringat nak start keje, tinggalkan huzaifah kat rumah..
Kadang2, rasa seronok sangat bila tengok telatah dia..
Kadang2, rasa seronok sangat bila rasa dah jadi Ummi dan ada anak sorang... :)
Syukur sangat ya Allah atas pemberianMu ini... :)



WALLAHUA'LAM..
Sekian, terima kasih setia membaca blog missapple, drnehar, Ummi El.. hehe

HUZAIFAH PICS

Assalamualaikum... Huzaifah is already 18 days old.. Alhamdulillah. :) Here are some of the pictures... :)

REPLYING COMMENTS

Assalamualaikum...

Salam Jumu'ah.. :)

Jazakumullahu khayran kathiraa kepada semua yang sudi menjenguk blog drnehar.blogspot.com and wishing all the good wishes to Baby Caliph! :)

Now, in return, Baby Caliph, Ummi and Ayah would like to reply all the comments given.. :)

Ibnuhassim: Alhamdulillah, dah lama berblog sejak zaman student lagi.. Tapi masa tu jiwang2 karat sangat... hehe. Buat masa ni, jiwang2 dengan suami ajelah! ;) Tak dapat lah Huzaifah nak sama BOD dengan kakak Afaf (sepupu pompuan Huzaifah) .. tapi, sama BOD dengan the twins (sepupu laki Huzaifah).

Ummu Amaani: Alhamdulillah, debaran menunggu kelahiran Huzaifah terlerai dengan tangisan pertamanya atas dada Umminya.. :)

Fatimahnur: Terima kasih Fatimah... :) Comey n putih ikut Ummi Ayah dia kot?? hehe.

Bayu Pagi: Terima kasih atas emel yang dihantar... :)

Iman: Terima kasih Iman! Meh lah datang rumah jumpa dengan Huzaifah sebelum ke 'oversea'!!! :)

Fatma: Terima kasih Fatma for all the supports you have given throughout! :)

Shima/mecha: Thanks! Siapa ye ni?? :)

asma: Jazakillah khayr...

pelangi: Terima kasih... Siapa ye ni?? Rasa mcm kenal... :)

ciksarah: Terima kasih... oh ye ke?? Happy belated bday! :)

wanda: Alhamdulillah, comey anak aku.. :) Ikut muka sape lagi??? Takkan muka hang kot! hehe. Meh la KL.. Huzaifah pun nak jumpa Unty Wanda!

Mynie: Thanks a lot! Need a lot to learn on motherhood!!! :)

Baiti: Terima kasih Baiti! Ha ah.. Finally dah selamat terkeluar Huzaifah dari perut Ummi! :) Huzaifah memang hensemmmm!!! ;)

mardhiah12: El keluar hospital Sabtu tu jugak... So, kalau pergi hari Ahad, takkan jumpa el jugak.. :)

Kak Lia: Terima kasih kak lia! Nanti ada rezeki el letak lagi gambar2 Huzaifah bagi Kak Lia tersenyum lagi.. ;)

KaaMyl: Ramai yang birthday 16th June ni!!! Huzaifah's year 2007. Huzaifah's twin cousins, Afdhol and Arsyad were in 2006. And Syameel's 1997!!! :) We celebrate together2 la nanti.. hehe. Ada rezeki kita jumpa kat Kelantan! :)

sueloveart: Thanks! :)

HuDa: Alhamdulillah... Nama dia Wan Muhammad Huzaifah. Muka macam siapa, tak sure la.. hehe

Ati: Thanks Ati for dropping by.. Another birthday together2... with Cill@ Din! :)


Huzaifah and their cousins had the same birthdate... While Huzaifah was still fresh newly born on the 16th June 2007, Afdhol and Arsyad turned 1 year old on the same day! :) My brother and I had the same birthdate as well, 25th February. When Abangalong turned 1 year old, I was his first gift! hehehe. WALLAHUA'LAM...

BABY'S CALIPH NEW NAME

Assalamualaikum...

Alhamdulillah.. Syukrillah...
Jazakumullahu khayran kathiraa alaikum... :)
Atas segala wishes/du'a/comments on Baby Caliph...

Well, from now on, we can start calling Baby Caliph's new name...
WAN MUHAMMAD HUZAIFAH BIN WAN MUHAMAD SALAHUDIN
:)

Latest gambar "Huzaifah botak" tak boleh nak upload la.. Suspen untuk aunties and uncles.. ;P hehe

BABY CALIPH IS FINALLY HERE...

Assalamualaikum...


Alhamdulillah, syukrillah... My Baby Caliph is already borned on the 16th June 2007 at 04:55am at Hospital Serdang. He weighed 2.91kg. Borned as normal delivery.

Will update later.. Baby Caliph's calling.... :)
Jazakumullahu khayran kathiraa for all your dua's... :)

AL- FATIHAH

Assalamualaikum...

Dari tengahari aku keluar...
Berjalan dengan ayahanda menghadiri kenduri-kenduri kahwin...
Dan menziarahi pakcik dan makcikku yang dah lama tak ketemu...
Malamnya, badanku terasa penat...
Aku mahu melelapkan mata...
Tiba-tiba saja mataku berair...
Bantalku basah dengan tangisan...
Aku terasa sedih yang amat...
Terus, aku bangun dan bersolat hajat...
Menghayati maksud surah Al Fatihah...

[1]
Dengan nama Allah, Yang Maha Pemurah, lagi Maha Mengasihani.
[2]
Segala puji tertentu bagi Allah, Tuhan yang memelihara dan mentadbirkan sekalian alam.
[3]
Yang Maha Pemurah, lagi Maha Mengasihani.
[4]
Yang Menguasai pemerintahan hari Pembalasan (hari Akhirat).
[5]
Engkaulah sahaja (Ya Allah) Yang Kami sembah, dan kepada Engkaulah sahaja kami memohon pertolongan.
[6]
Tunjukilah kami jalan yang lurus.
[7]
Iaitu jalan orang-orang yang Engkau telah kurniakan nikmat kepada mereka, bukan (jalan) orang-orang yang Engkau telah murkai, dan bukan pula (jalan) orang-orang yang sesat.


Sama2 lah kita hayati maksud Al Fatihah...
Jangan berputus asa denganNya...
Dia Maha Mengetahui...Maha Pemurah...Maha Mengasihani...

WEY KEMBALI KE RAHMATULLAH

Assalamualaikum...

Al Fatihah...
Wey, ayah mertuaku telah kembali ke rahmatulLah pada jam 0230 pagi tadi, 4 Jun 2007...
Innalillahi wainna ilaihi raji'uun...

Alhamdulillah, Abang sempat sampai di rumah Pasir Pekan dalam pukul 12 tengah malam... Abang sms, Wey nampak tenat. Shallow rapid acidotic breathing and tak sedar2 dari pagi. Mujurla Abang balik dengan flight and selamat sampai malam tadi walaupun, cuaca hujan lebat dari KL...

Pukul 0240pagi, Abang telefon dan bagitau, Wey dah pergi pukul 0230pagi...
Disebabkan penat badan kerana siangnya El sibuk pergi kenduri kawin dan banyak berjalan kaki sampai sakit kaki... jadi masih tak terasa apa2 di hati...

Pagi tadi, bila Abang sms... nak mandikan jenazah... Terasa sayu, sedih sangat dan menangis... kerana tak ada kat sana nak tengok Wey buat kali terakhir dan temankan Abang yang pastinya tengah sedih... Kemudian, Abang sms lagi update dah siap mandi dan Abang nangis bila teringat masa mandikan Wey masa Wey masih ada... Laju saja airmata mengalir...

Mintak Abang ciumkan Wey untuk El n Baby Caliph... Tapi, Abang sms, Abang tak nak cium takut nangis lagi atas jenazah. Tapi, El mintak Abang ciumkan Wey untuk El n Baby Caliph yang tak dapat tengok Wey untuk kali terahir... Akhirnya, Abang akur...

Wey dah selamat dikebumikan pada pukul 11:55 pagi tadi... Abang masukkan dalam liang lahad...

Selamat kembali ke rahmatulLah Wey...
Semuga roh Wey digolongkan di dalam golongan orang2 yang soleh, beriman dan muttaqin... Ameen.

After marrying my husband, I hardly know Wey actually. He was having Parkinson's disease and everything that he did was slow. He walked, talked, ate slowly... I couldn't understand what he was saying sometimes... But he recognised me as Abang's wife... We didn't get to know each other closely... but Abang reminded me always that Wey knew me and he didn't expect me to do more for Wey... Eventhough I didn't get to know Wey hardly, after his loss, i felt so sad and tears warmed my eyes... I missed him and I hope that he will forgive my weakness of not being a good daughter in law to him... WALLAHUA'LAM....




فرشي التراب
Farshi Al Turab
- Dust is my bed
compiled by Mutma'inaa
[06/04/2005]

فرشي التراب يضمني وهو غطائي
حولي الرمال تلفني بل من ورائي
واللحد يحكي ظلمة فيها ابتلائي
والنور خط كتابه أنسى لقائي

والأهل اين حنانهم باعوا وفائي
والصحب اين جموعهم تركوا اخائي
والمال اين هناءه صار ورائي
والاسم اين بريقه بين الثناءِ

هذي نهاية حالي فرشي الترابِ
والحب ودّع شوقه وبكى رثائي
والدمع جف مسيره بعد البكاء
والكون ضاق بوسعه ضاقت فضائي

فاللحد صار بجثتي أرضي سمائي
هذي نهاية حالي فرشي الترابِ
والخوف يملأ غربتي والحزن دائي
أرجو الثبات وإنه قسما دوائي

والرب أدعو مخلصا أنت رجائي
أبغي إلهي جنة فيها هنائي


Dust is my bed, embraces me and it’s my cover now
The sand surrounds me even behind my back
And the grave tells a dankness of my affliction
And the brightness draws a line……………

Where is my family’s love? They sold my loyalty!
And where is my group of friends? They left my brotherhood!
Where is the bliss of money? It’s behind my back now
And my name (reputation) where is it shine between praises

This is my end and this is my bed
And love farewells its longing and my elegizing cried
And the tears went dry after crying
And the universe became narrow and so is my space

And the grave became my ground and sky
This is my end and this is my bed
Fear fills my estrangement and sadness is my illness
I expect firmness and I swear it’s my cure

And for Allah i pray faithfully, you are my hope
Allah! I desire heaven, to find bliss in it

And for Allah i pray faithfully, you are my hope
Allah! I desire heaven, to find bliss in it.

UJIAN PENUH HIKMAH

Assalamualaikum...

Syukur Alhamdulillah... It's going to be 38 weeks tomorrow... And, syukur for a memorable experience Allah made me go through for the past 1 week...

BABY CALIPH STILL NOT OUT
Yupp! My Baby Caliph still not out yet for some reasons... When it was not the time for Baby Caliph to come out, Baby Caliph wanted to come out at only 28 weeks and 35 weeks. However, not Baby Caliph is reaching 38 weeks and still, no signs or symptoms that Baby Caliph will pop out any sooner... I wonder why?? Maybe Baby Caliph decided to stay in Ummi's womb a bit longer after making Ummi admitted to the ward twice!!! hehe. Well, I'm just hoping, praying and making du'as always Baby Caliph will pop out safely with somebody around and that would be Baby's Caliph Ayah... AMEEN.

WEY'S NOT WELL
My father in law was bed ridden for quite sometimes already. But he was getting worse last week. He couldn't eat/drink. He couldn't turn by himself... He was also having high grade fever and not settling even with antibiotic... It was very sad to hear Wey's condition over the phone from my husband. Syukur, my husband's siblings who were studying/staying at KL/Kuantan/Ipoh/Johor could come back to the house in time... They didn't want to bring Wey to the hospital seeing Wey's bad condition... So, my husband as a doctor in the house gave IV drip to Wey for 3 days and later on, he and the others decided to feed Wey through the Ryle's tube (a tube inserted through the nose so that we can feed him with milk, at least). I felt guilty not being there to help out anything with Wey, but I'm myself not manageable... Just doa and pray for Wey... the least I could do...

UJIAN
It had been long since I got tested from Allah... The last was maybe during the time I just got married... SO, finally, the BIG TEST came... Alhamdulillah...

It was Wednesday and my husband sent a sms saying that he was in bad mood after came back from work. I was at the immigration settling with my new helper's procedures. Alhamdulillah, we'll just have to call the immigration this week and get the exchange of majikan's name. Anyway, during the evening and at night, I tried to call my husband at 9:30pm for so many times. However there were no answers at all until at 10:15pm.. I tried to call his handphone, the house and my mother in law's house. My mother in law said she also tried to call but there was no answer from my husband. I was getting worried. I tried to contact Dr Nida and asked her to contact her husband to check out my husband at home. Her husband was oncall, but he already asked someoneelse to check on my husband... I was crying in heavy tears... and my pillow was soaked with tears!!!

Finally, my husband called at 10:15pm and said that he was sleeping. He was tired and put his phone in silent mode! I was so sad and worried! If anything happen to him, nobody knows... and if I were to deliver during that time... How could I possibly contact him???? :(

Since he was at my in law's house, he said that he would call me later. So, he called me after midnight. I was tired crying. When I answered his call, I couldn't hold my tears and I couldn't talk much... Then, later, he told me that Wey was not well. He said that there was possibility that he couldn't make it to visit me at KL during the weekend. Early last week, he already booked the flight ticket to come to KL last Friday morning. I was sad and crying but at the same time I knew that my husband couldn't do much about the situation...or UJIAN... :(

The next day, Thursday, my husband had to be oncall. I was still sad over what he told me the night before. My eyes were swollen!!! I couldn't open my eyes properly when I went to the antenatal check up at Hospital Serdang. I was telling my little brother about what happened. He later on bought me ABC to cheer me up! I felt better after my twin told me to be patient and made me realise that this is the UJIAN that I have to face... and syukur Alhamdulillah.. later that day, I could accept the fact that my husband may not come to KL to visit me. He had bigger responsibility to his father who's not well. He just couldn't leave Wey like that.... He called me that night and told me that he was not coming....

I read the story of Siti Hajar being left by her husband, Nabi Ibrahim at Mecca alone with Nabi Ismail... It made me realise a lot of things and one of it is, Ujian orang lain lagi hebat dari apa yang aku hadapi!! Since it was Lailul Jumu'ah, my family had solat hajat and read the surah Yassin together. After that, I read the qur'an and that morning, solat tahajud and solat hajat.. and pray and du'a for Allah's forgiveness and not to make me feel sad knowing that my husband not coming to KL...

(to be continued... ngantuk nak tido....)

WAITING FOR THE BABY

Assalamualaikum...

I can't be long in the internet since the internet at my old folk's house has a bad connection! Anyways... I'm at Cheras now. I came down last Monday. Initally I had to go to ONG Clinic and asked for a letter from the doctor saying that I am passed to travel at 35 weeks. Then, I had to ask for my leaves until my delivery....from Medical. Alhamdulillah dapat cuti tapi at the same time, the specialist told that I should be getting MC from ONG.... But ONG gave me 2 days MC.

I stayed at home for the past 1 week. Had to settle few forms and documents for Pembantu Rumah Asing. Actually, the helper's already been working with my Abangalong for 5 months. Since he and his family are going to the UK in July, so they are passing their helper to me... since I'll be having a baby soon, will need a helper to handle my baby at home while I o to work later...

While I'm busy with that, my husband is waiting for a letter saying that we are going to leave and continue working at Hospital Machang. He'll be busy packing up things at our quarters later once the letter has reached... Hopefully things will be easy for him with his friends helping him out later to move....

Alhamdulillah, last Thursday, I went for my check up at ONG Hospital Serdang with Abangalong. He already resigned from work to settle things related to their travelling to the UK.My brother and I had to join the Breastfeeding Talk handled by the doctor there. It was the Head of Department talking about breastfeeding which I found very useful. She taught how to breastfeed and express breastmilk once working. :) She herself breastfed her twin babies for 7 months!!! So, she was encouraging us to breastfeed our own babies for Allah has given us the opportunities and also the greatest gift of breastfeeding. :) It was really motivating! I hope I can do it... since one of the advantages is slimming! hehe.

Then, I had my check up with the same doctor. She estimated my baby's weight 2.4kg.. So small! :) But, at the same time I'm diagnosed to have Threatened Preterm Labour. Nasib baik baby kecik aje. Kalau baby besar, I can't imagine what other complications I have to face... So, she asked me to rest at home and MC until delivery... :) Alhamdulillah. Will save my annual leaves for latter.

Yesterday I had few contractions felt but it was relieved after rest. Alhamdulillah. My baby loves to move around. My brother was amazed to feel the baby moving on my tummy. My sister?? She's overwhelmed and keep on asking, "Baby tak nak keluar lagi ke?" ;p

As for me and my husband... It was very difficult for me for the first few days being away from him. I cried so many times before and after I left Kelantan. Just couldn't bare the distance apart between us. My husband was also in bad mood for few days... But Alhamdulillah, with doa and solat hajat, we both managed to handle our emotions... :) But, still, inside us... we miss each other a lot! :) Love created after marriage is very special you know!!! ;)

May Allah grant my wish and doa... Please let my husband to be next to me when it's time for the baby to pop out! Ameen. (Can't wait to meet you Abang next Friday!) :)

Tomorrow will be our 1 year Annivessary! 27 MAY 2007... Abang wanted to celebrate together but since I had to leave to KL... we'll have to postpone it, I guess...

Selamat Ulangtahun Perkahwinan Pertama Abang!
Terima kasih atas segala-galanya...
Terima kasih atas kasih sayang yang telah Abang berikan selama ini...
Huda bertuah dapat Abang sebagai suami, buah hati, jantung hati, cinta sejati Huda...
Tiada siapa yang boleh mengambil tempat Abang dalam hati Huda...
Semuga Allah pelihara kasih sayang, rumahtangga kita di dunia dan di akhirat...
Abanglah suami Huda dunia akhirat... :)
Saaaaaaaaaaaayang Abang!

JUST DISCHARGED FROM WARD... aGaIn!!!

Assalamualaikum...

As the title of my blog mentioned... I just discharged from Antenatal Ward, Hospital Raja Perempuan Zainab II, Kota Bharu (HRPZII). I was admitted there yesterday. I was well when I started off the day by going to the hospital to work. For this week, I was supposed to be in charge in Ward 15, a passive ward, full of patients with HIV, Tuberculosis, Diabetic Control and Renal failures on regular hemodialysis basis. Not a busy ward... Alhamdulillah. Early morning, I went to join the talk on medicolegal. Then, I did round in the ward for 1 hour. After that, I went to the Clinic to see patient to be seen as outpatients.

After seeing 2nd patient, I felt my tummy growling! Felt like having severe diarrhea. It was true when I went to the toilet and I was purging watery stools!!! 3 days prior to yesterday, last Sunday I already had similar symptoms. But it was more of food poisoning where I vomited and had loose stools. Emcee 1 day while my husband was oncall... Anyways, I was in the toilet for almost 2 hours yesterday. Purging diarrhea and watery stools until feeling nothing to come out! But the tummy was so painful!!! I couldn't walk properly for having such painful colicky abdomen...

I sms my husband and told him about my problem. He asked me to come out from the toilet. He was oncall again yesterday. When he saw me, he said we better go to the Emergency and get another emcee. We went to Emergency, luckily it was in front and across the road from the Clinic. When I reached there, the MA asked me to go to the Yellow Zone. The HOD of Emergency department was there! Argghh... malunye! He asked what was wrong and I told him. He asked whether I was having any contraction pain??? Well, I didn't think of that but more concerned about my loose stools!! Then, when I was examined, he said that I was having contraction pain! What??? Nak beranak dah ke aku??? Baru 35 minggu!!!

My husband set line for me and then, the HOD arranged for an ambulance to send me to the labour room. It was the first time I was a patient and rode in an ambulance! hehe. I was examined by my juniors colleague and told me that my os was closed but since I was having contraction, they admitted me to the labor room, the same room I last admitted... and I was on regular painkiller injections which made me sleep the whole time. Initially I was having contraction pain 2 in every 10 minutes. Later on yesterday night, the pain reduced to 1 in 10 minutes and finally, irregular contractions. My baby was well and active all the time in the ward, Alhamdulillah.

They said that since I had already completed Dexamethasone injection (to mature my baby's lungs) during my last admission and my baby's estimated weight was 2.6kg during my last ultrasound scan, they allowed labour if it was progressing! I was sleepy after given the injections but still prayed and hoped may Allah give me what's best for me and my baby... I was checking whether I had other signs of labour but since the contraction was reducing, I was not worried so much!

Hmmm, my Baby Caliph is really playful said my aunt! :) Yesterday I was in the labour room by myself. My husband was oncall. He wanted to be there with me, but we had no choice. Both of us were sad... but Allah knew what was bst for us both. Alhamdulillah, the nurses were very nice to me. I was happy in the labour room not like last time. :) Syukur, Alhamdulillah, my husband's oncall last night was not so bad. Yupp... we wanted to be together, but we knew we just couldn't. :)

Abang, janganlah rasa bersalah lagi. Cukuplah dengan kata-kata Abang yang cukup membuatkan hati ini sungguh pilu dan terharu. "Kita asyik tolong patients, jaga patients, rawat patients, macam apa je, tapi bila bini sakit, kita nak jaga pun tak boleh". Bukan kita yang sengaja meminta semua benda ini berlaku semalam waktu Abang oncall. Tapi, syukurlah Allah sayangkan kita. Takde apa yang berlaku semalam pada kita berdua dan hari ini dah pun boleh keluar wad.:)

Ya Allah!
Kau letakkanku berada di antara 2 orang yang amat ku kasihi
Mereka berdua inginkan yang terbaik untukku
Mereka berdua ingin berada di sampingku ketika ku melahirkan anak dalam kandungan ini
Tunjukkanlah kepadaku apa yang harus ku lakukan
Tunjukkanlah kepada mereka berdua bahawa aku amat menyayangi mereka berdua yang amat sangat
Dan pastinya, ku inginkan mereka berdua di sampingku di saat-saat getir ketika melahirkan
Tapi, sekiranya salah seorang daripada mereka tiada di sampingku
Tunjukkanlah kepadanya bahawa kasihku, cintaku, sayangku padanya takkan pudar sama sekali
Kasih, cinta dan sayang yang telah Kau campakkan dalam hati ini
Biarlah ia bersemadi dalam hati, darah, dagingku selamanya hingga bertemu denganMu...
Ameen.

THIRD TRIMESTER

Assalamualaikum,

BABY CALIPH
Alhamdulillah, Baby Caliph is going to be 35 weeks this Monday. I'm supposed to go for my ANC this Monday but not sure whether I can excuse myself. Hopefully, should be a problem...Baby Caliph is so active and making wavy movements on my tummy. Usually will wake Ummi up in the morning by pressing on the bladder... and before sleeping, will make Ummi have supper and doing somersaults when Ummi so tired and sleepy. hehe. Anak Ummi ni kecik-kecik lagi dah nakal ni! ;) Can't wait for 37 completed weeks. Hopefully by that time, Baby Caliph will pop out! Praying that Ayah will be next to Ummi when Baby Caliph pops out! Ameen....

DR NIDA
Syafakillah to our blogger, Dr. Nida... She's admitted to HRPZII last 3 days because of having viral fever with thrombocytopenia. Low platelet. Suspected dengue from Indonesia because she's still studying in Jogjakarta. But, the dengue serology came out negative. Before yesterday she looks ill but yesterday, looks like she's improving. Her husband is my husband's best friend. He's worries made my husband worried too and he told me many times that if I was to be admitted, he'll be worried also because... "Bini sakit tau, mesti lah risau!" hehe. Yelah abang! ;) Hopefully Dr. Nida will recover soon... Ameen.

HUSNU DZON
That day I was so pissed off when one of the MO told me that I'm supposed to tag for 2 weeks so that when I come back from confinement I can start my MO oncall. Later, another MO told me that I'm supposed to hold the pager the next day and answer all the referrals, either from the districts or from other departments. I was quite sad because, how come all these MOs know about my status and I don't even know it from my leader. Why did he go and tell others instead of telling me myself what I'm supposed to do? WALLAHUA'LAM.

Later that night, talked to Mak over the phone regarding the matter and Mak was giving lectures and tazkirah to me... :( Well, she said I should have asked myself regarding the matter above instead of hearing others what to do and waiting for the leader to tell me. She said that I should stop assuming negative things and try to get the right facts from the superior. I should husnu dzon with the people around me... Hmmm.. Mak knows my weakness and tackled it nicely... :) Thanks Mak. InsyaAllah, will get a hold on one of my superior and ask regarding my status and to apply early holidays to deliver the baby this June... Rabbisyrahli sodri wayassirli amri whalul uqdatanminlisaani yafqahu qauli...

She also reminded me about going to district... She said that I should be in the hospital and stays at medical longer so that I can gain experience, confidence and competent in doing my work later. It's true... Guess will be staying in KB longer and have Baby Caliph growing at the quarters first before moving out to district... Hmmm.... "Allah will repay your suffers and your good deeds in helping the patients to get better in other ways..."

I think that's all to update... My husband's working half day today... :(

NEW UPDATES

Assalamualaikum...

It had been long since the last time I updated my blog, eh?? ;) Well, sorry for those waiting for my recent news..

WORKLIFE
Well, was quite busy with work and also adjusting life to my current status as a Medical Officer at Female Ward. Finally, they decided to make me a MO and did HO oncalls. Alhamdulillah, my last oncall had already passed. It was on the 1st May 2007. Syukur it was uneventful and I got to sleep that night on the bed. There were other 3 HO and a MO sleeping inside the room but they gave me and my baby to sleep on the bed. Nasib baik dapat tidur, kalau tak sia-sia aje... ;)

Now, I'm handling half of the female ward which is a very big responsibilty. Being me having such a little knowledge... Scared always as usual! But I guess day by day I just have to learn and if I don't know, I'll just ask for help... May Allah help me to help all the patients... Ameen.

AIR KELAPA PANTAI CAHAYA BULAN
Well, it had been hot for the past few weeks due to Musim Kemarau. Hot really means HOT!!! We'll be sweating day and night because of the weather. So, Abang love to drink Air Kelapa. We went to Pantai Cahaya Bulan just to get ourselves to drink Air Kelapa in the Buah Kelapa. :) Initially my sister in law said that it's not good for the baby, but then, there's another Nenek said that it's good for the baby. Hmm, what I believe is that it's good for the ummi! hehe. On the way to PCB, there were a lot of small stalls selling Jagung Rebus! hehe. So, we didn't miss to buy that also... ;)

CHATS
That day I had the chance to talk through Yahoo Messenger with Raiyan! :) It was quite fun to talk over the computer. hehe. It had been long since I talk to anyone through the phone... Anyways, the next day, got the chance to talk to My Twin pulak! :) Well, with the new technologies around, why not use it for our own sake, right??? :) I did chat with K. Wanda, tapi not through the mic and speaker but had to type on the yahoo messenger. Well, nice to story-mory with you guys! Hope we can do it again at another time, insyaAllah....

BLOG READER
Guess what??? Yesterday, I bumped into one of my blog reader, K. Lia. Well, if you are reading this K. Lia, nice to meet you yesterday! :) My husband and I went to Noodle Station to eat dinner. Actually we wanted to have dinner elsewhere, either Ayamas/KB Mall/Mamak Stall/gerai tepi jalan/Hayaki, but we ended up at Noodle Station. Well, hikmah behind it was that I got to make an ukhuwah fillah with K. Lia... hehe. The food there was not nice!!! Tapi, rezeki nak jumpa my Blog Reader... ;) She just called me, "Dr Nour El Huda?" while I was on my way out! Terkezuuuuutttt!!! Patient mana pulak ni??? Do I happen to know you??? hehehe. K. Lia happened to read my blog from blog JurnalAlam. But she's not a blogger herself! :) Well, good luck in your phD!!! :)

BABY CALIPH
Hmmm... If you see the calender, Baby Caliph is already 33 weeks. Going to turn 34 weeks tomorrow! Just 6 weeks more to go!!! What do you know??? I'll be getting a baby soon! Alhamdulillah. :D Hopefully everything will turn out fine and both of us will be safe through the journey of labour and delivery.... Ameen! Make du'a for us yeah???

Masam-Masam Manis
Sudah beberapa minggu, aku sudah mula membaca novel Ayat-Ayat Cinta. Tapi atas desakan masa, aku tidak dapat habis membaca novel tersebut sekaligus. Semalam, bacaanku sudah sampai saat Fahri dan Aisya menjadi suami isteri. Aku teringat saat aku dan suamiku disatukan. Rasanya, cerita kami lebih kurang seperti pasangan dalam novel tersebut! hehe. Abang menafikan dan menyatakan, aku sudah jadi jiwang selepas membaca novel tersebut. Dia bergurau akan melarang aku membeli buku-buku jiwang selepas ini... Alaa.. Apa salahnya berjiwang dengan suami??? hehe. Ye kan???

Selepas aku solat berjemaah Isya' dengan suamiku, aku teringat saat Abang meluahkan perasaannya mahu berada di sampingku semasa aku melahirkan anak kami yang sulung nanti. Emakku pula berkehendak supaya aku pulang ke kampung halaman dan melahirkan anak kami di sana. Sedih, terharu dan pilu rasanya bila mendengar Abang menyatakan hasratnya mahu memastikan proses bersalinku berjalan dengan lancar dan Abang mahu mengazankan anaknya sendiri. Isteri mana yang tak luruh jiwanya bila mendengar suaminya berkata begitu??? :(

Sekiranya aku boleh jangkakan bila aku akan bersalin, sekehendakku mahu melahirkan anak kami bersama dengan suamiku, samada di KL atau di Kelantan, asalkan suamiku ada... Tapi, hanya Dia yang Maha Mengetahui.... Semuga Allah memberikan jalan yang terbaik untukku, anakku dan suamiku... Ameen... Doakan kami....

Dah jiwang sebab suami oncall lah! :p

DAYS IN MEDICAL

Assalamualaikum...

RAIYAN
First of all, would like to send GET WELL wish to my best friend, Raiyan, 8 weeks pregnant, and her parents in law met with accident and admitted to 3 different hospitals in Kedah... Raiyan sustained a fracture of the upper limb (tangan). May she'll recover fast and soon and hope her 2nd baby is fine... And as well as her parents in law. I received a sms from my friend, Bash. Bash said that they were in their way to KL for a wedding and suddenly met with a road ccident with a bus. May Allah give them good health and fast recovery... Ameen.

ONCALL MALE WARD
Alhamdulillah, I was oncall at my ward I was supposed to be in charge last Wednesday. It was very busy day during the afternoon. I was half dead by evening... Some more, that afternoon, my colleagues were away. Carrying baby inside the tummy and doing the heavy work as a HO is quite difficult for me, but slowly I managed to finish the works. Despite of so many chores to be done, I didn't forget to stop to pray... But I forgot to eat.. :) Anyways, by that evening, I can't help it. I needed to eat something. Poor thing for my growing baby... So, I went to eat the oncall food. Alhamdulillah, later that night, it was not so busy... 3 admissions and nearing the morning, one of the patients who just admitted passed away. The mother did not want active resuscitation and request for the son to passed away in the usual way... While consoling the mother, I found myself tearing inside me...

HANDLING THE WARD ALONE WITH BABY CALIPH
The next day, I was the only HO handling the ward because my 2 colleagues had to go for Infectious Control Course. So, I had to do round alone.. Luckily my MO came early and we did the round together. We finished quite early. Alhamdulillah, were not so many chores to be done. During the afternoon, the HO leader came and wanted to help me. I asked her to clerk a case and then help me to cover the ward while I go and eat lunch. After I finished eating and just about to pray Zuhr, I got a call from the ward saying that one of my patients already passed away. So, I just went there and the HO leader already resuscitating the patient. The cardiac monitor showed that there was no chance that the patient can revive back. So, I explained to the wife regarding the patient's condition. She requested not to further do CPR on her husband and let her husband passed away the usual way... So, another heartbreaking for me while explaining to the wife... Seeing her cry and saying that she did not go to lunch because she knew her husband is going to go away made me cry in the heart...

Handling the ward alone with like 20 staffnurses around me made feel so restless. They kept on coming on me and asking me... Until 5pm, I could bare the chaos, but after that, I asked them to ask the oncall people... To work for 36hours straight without a nap made me so tired and my body really aches... Actually I tried to sleep during my oncall, but my baby kept on moving whenevr I was free and lying down. So, I could just close my eyes but not SLEEPING!!!

VIDEO CLIP
I was reading blogs and came across this video clip...

Is Allah reminding me that Death is Near??? With 2 patients passed away and this beautiful tazkirah song Farshy Turab (Dust is my bed)???

BABY CALIPH
Well, now Baby Caliph is good at showing his buttocks and his feet on my tummy! Usually his buttock will be on my left or right side of my belly button. While, his feet will always kicking over my right side of the abdomen. It looks like humps and moving waves on the tummy! :) Baby Caliph also likes to listen to Ummi and Ayah talking. He usually wants to join our conversation. hehe. Can't wait to see Baby Caliph in just 10 weeks time!!!! InsyaAllah... :)

Lastly, Thanks Abang for the massage and bringing me to eat Ayam Percik... :)

JANGANLAH SEDIH

Assalamualaikum,

It had been long since I last updated my blog... Well, today, as usual, my husband not around, so, it's time for me to blog... :)

BABY CALIPH
Alhamdulillah, today is Baby's Caliph 30 weeks old in my tummy... Baby Caliph moving while I'm typing... Syyy sayang... Ummi nak tulis blog ni sayang! ;) Anyways, I still have on and off pain over my tummy.. Well, doing work as houseman at Medical ward... It is really heavy for me to do, need a lot of walking and standing! Both my legs aching whenever I came back from work. Usually I came back around 6pm or 7pm. Started working in the ward at 0730AM in the morning! My tummy aches whenever the baby moves and the head going down on my suprapubic area... But, Alhamdulillah, no more premature contractions. Hopefully and doa always so that Baby Caliph will be safely delievered by term.. InsyaAllah 37 weeks... :) Ummi tak sabar nak jumpa Baby Caliph yang terlalu aktif ni! Sakit perut Ummi! hehe.

MEDICAL OFFICER
I started to do my 5th posting at Medical 1 month back. But, I had to go to Kursus Induksi for 2 weeks after I tagged for 3 days. When I came back from Induksi, I had to do oncall as houseman(HO). After I oncall, I was admitted to the O & G due to premature contraction. Then holiday for 1 week. Then, I oncall again and then, I went to meet the specialist medical because they were telling me that I had to do job as medical officer(MO). But, then, when I met the specialists, they asked me to still do HO job for 2 weeks, and then, tag as HO for 2 weeks after that...

Suddenly, today, the medical officers were telling me that I have to start my MO oncall by this Saturday... I was so sad!!! I couldn't holdmy tears anymore... My eyes were already warm by that time. But, still holding on not to cry in front of the HOs and patients in ward. Actually, my husband gave me a call and wanted to tell me the same news... Finally, while I was helping another HO to do a procedure in the ward, my husband came and told me the whole story. The same story... Before my husband came, I went to Solat Asar... When I entered the room, I felt something awkward...

I FORGOT TO SOLAT ZUHUR!!!! ASTAGHFIRULLAHAL'AZIM!!! No wonder, Allah gave me such bad news for my BIG DOSA!!!

(But I was really busy in the ward that time.. I wanted to pray Zuhr at around 2pm, but there were so many people in the room praying. So, I continue doing ward works... And then, the MO came and do rounds. It just happened I was free during that time... So, I did rounds with the MOs until 5pm!!)

Please Forgive Me, YA ALLAH!!!

My husband sent me to the house eventhough he's oncall today... He was worried about me. He kept on telling me not to cry and Solat Hajat. He already planned that he will teach me starting tomorrow to see patients and cases in the wards and do a fast learning... I just kept quiet. I was still heartbroken, I guess...

So, I Solat Maghrib and Solat Isya'. After that I Solat Taubat and Solat Hajat and asked for Allah's forgiveness for my BIG DOSA!!! Was really crying away.... Minutes after that, my husband called and told me that he called the MO in charge of me. So, he said that actually the MO already planned to put me oncall as MO this Saturday, but, the specialists didn't want me to be oncall as MO yet...

Alhamdulillah!!! Syukur Ya Allah!!!

I know I did a very BIG MISTAKE, a BIG DOSA... Forgotten to Solat Zuhur...

But, syukur ya Allah for "hukum"ing me and at the same time reminding me to seek forgiveness from you... ASTAGHFIRULLAHAL'AZIM...

I'm not the best servant to YOU... But thank you Allah for such care and love that You had given me all these while... Thank You So Much Ya Allah for loving me...and my baby...

Thank you Abang for your support, love and care... :) May Allah make it easy and cool oncall for you tonight... Ameen...

EMOTINALLY SICK

Assalamualaikum,

Alhamdulillah, today is my 3rd day of MCs. InsyaAllah, I have just one more day to relax before I start my oncall this Saturday... Actually, I'm scared to start working and to do my oncall. I'm still having on and off pain over my abdomen. Sometimes, feeling some kind of contraction pain, however I just ignored it because... it will just turned out to be Braxton Hicks, my final diagnosis during my admission at the hospital... Nothing can be done...

There were sad events when I was admitted to the hospital, however I just shared it with my husband. So many tears dropped while I was there... But I guess, it's normal for a patient to feel that way??? I'm not sure. But that was the first time that I became a patient. Before this, I was the doctor treating the patients... Anyways, it was not a good experience at all.. Initially I wanted to make complaints and asked for my rights as a patient, as a doctor, as a Malaysian??? But then, the sad events made me realise... maybe Allah wanted to show to me how patients felt when I mistreated them all this while... :(

Well, just pouring out a little here... No offense to anybody. But in any ways, I'm glad that I have my husband to be with me all the time. Alhamdulillah... I'm not sure how am I going to live without him being around... I miss him when he's away to work... Just can't be apart from him even for just a minute. Maybe this is the hikmah and the secret of "Cinta lepas kawin.. ;) " Thank you Allah for this very special gift... :)

My husband dreamt of me during my stay at the hospital...
He dreamt that I went away and missing... He tried to search for me but failed for so many times... He tried to look for me but I was nowhere...
He said he didn't like the dream. :)
Well, I told him that it was just a dream and I'm still here next to him. But, if it's taqdir that we are going to be separated by life and death soon, then, I prayed that we will meet again in the Heaven as husband and wife forever, Ameen. (I'm emotinally sick! :p)

INDUKSI & WARDED

Assalamualaikum...

KURSUS INDUKSI
It had been a long time since I written in this blog. Well, I was away for my Kursus Induksi at Keluang Beach Resort for 2 weeks.. Went there on the 7th March till 22nd March. It was a good experience. Well, apart from the boring lectures, I got to know good friends from Kota Bharu and Kuala Terengganu... We shared a lot of things and since our group was small, we get to know each other quite fast...

BABY INDUKSI
Anyways, hot news from Induksi... We had a baby borned on our 9th day staying at Induksi. My friend from Hosp. Raja Perempuan Zainab II, Kota Bharu went to Induski when she was already term, 37 weeks... At 39 weeks on the dot, she was in labor and delivered baby girl, 3.1kg at HRPZII, Kota Bharu. Alhamdulillah... Another pregnant mother was 38 weeks. Alhamdulillah, she didn't deliver during the kursus. And as for me, Alhamdulillah, Baby Caliph had great time eating hotel foods!!! hehe. And also, Baby Caliph was responding more to the lectures and noise. I could see waves on my tummy when I lie down on the bed... ;)

CHEEZE 1st PRIZE
On the 20th March, we had Malam Kebudayaan. 36 of us were divided into 4 groups. Cheeze, Synergy, Voice, United. I was in Cheeze group. We had Boria Induksi for our performance. We got 1st prize!!! Taraaa! With 2 Mak Buyungs in the group, we made it to be at 1st prize! hehe. Mak buyungs were in charged to play the kompang/gendang/percussion. Whatever you want to call it! hehe. The other group members had to move around and sing the song. By the time they finished singing, they all looked exhausted. But me?? Well, after the performance, I went to take the roasted crabs and eat while watching the other performances. The best part that night was that, there was an event for "Cabutan Bertuah". I was the last one to be called out... and I got a very special prize! That is.... "Quack Quack Duck". Everybody wanted to have my gift... hehe. Some of them got a mask, milk bottle and all sorts of toys for small children. hehe. It was quite fun...

EXAM
On the 22nd March, it was time for our exams. Luckily we got some hints that night so we studied a little, not much. Just hope to pass the exam. This exam is smportant for us for our confirmation as a practitioner in Malaysia... Hope to get it sooon... Ameen.

ONCALL
23rd March, I had to start working and oncall that night. Alhamdulillah, it was a good oncall night. There were 4 admisssions and all patients were stable in the ward. I slept well that night... I asked my husband to teach me how to insert CVP... Peculiar thing happened to me that night was that, there was a patient asking me, "Doktor dah nak dekat bersalin ke?" I was quite touched by that question... I'm only 7 months pregnant and suddenly, why did she come up with that remark? My tummy is not that big...

The next day, we at medical posting had to go round the ward. I took all the blood investigations and did round at my part. Then, helped one of the HO to do peritoneal dialysis. After that, my husband and I went to KB Mall to buy some things. 2 weeks away from home, nothing's at home... We had lunch and then we buy some groceries.. Later on, we bumped into AOWA's saleswoman. She said the same peculiar thing to me that is, "Puan dah nak beranak ke?"

ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL
Well, those 2 people actually were giving me some signs I guess??? On Sunday morning I was having painful stomachache. Feeling nausea, urge to pass stools... and having regular contractions on my tummy. I was prepared to go to work by that time, at 7:30am. But my husband asked me to wait first. Then, the pain became more painful. So, he said not to work and we went to labor room after I had some rest. I was having premature contractions at 27 weeks and 6 days!!!

I was quite ok with that fact... But my husband was more worried than me. :) He had to work that evening but he managed to take Emergency Leave that day. Alhamdulillah, he was there with me in the labor room all the time. I was having contractions 1 in 10 minutes lasting about 5-10 seconds. So, they given me IM injection at my buttocks. Painkiller and also, Dexamethasone, that is a medication to mature my baby's lungs... Baby Caliph was so active.. Alhamdulillah, after 2 days of observation at the labor room, the contractions faded and I was discharged to the ward. At labor room, my husband was sleeping on the floor to accompany me...
Anyways, I'm at home now. 3 days of MC. Hopefully the contractions stops... I talked to so many people, and I got emotionally touched... :) Well, what to do.. I was sick physically and also emotionally.

"Thank you abang for being there when I needed you most!"
And as for Baby Caliph, "Duduk diam diam sikit sayang. Jangan lasak sangat. Umi sakit perut. Kesiankan umi ye..."

Got to go... Still having on and off pain... Baby Caliph nak suruh Umi dia tido sokmo! ;) Doakan kami berdua semua orang... ;)

MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT

Thanks elzahra! :)

FIRST DAY AT MEDICAL

Assalamualaikum,

Today was my first day being in Medical posting... I was asked to become a HO not an MO. Had to fill up logbook some more... But when I clarified with the office, they won't give me the logbook because I already submitted my 3 logbooks to be evaluated by the MMC. So, I had to tag as HO from 8am until 10pm. It was really tiring!!! Just imagine me pregnant 25 weeks and was already working as MO had to become Ho again!!! "Kerja kuli batak" as our DG said...

Anyways, I don't mind the work because there are still a lot of things for me to learn... To study how to manage patients in the ward... since I'm not used to be in those wards before... So, Alhamdulillah. I hope I'll learn a lot from the experience... However, it'll be short tagging, only 3 days! Starting on 8th March, I won't be in the ward anymore for 2 weeks because I have to go Induksi for confirmation my doctor's license. So, just have to bare the suffers for these 3 days... After that 2 weeks suffers at Induksi... :)

My bodyaches so much! Bloodtaking, clerking new cases, doing rounds, doing the discharge summaries..., SUBHANALLAH! Only Allah knows how painful my joints and muscles... However, thank to Mak... She gave a good advise before I flew back to KB 2 days ago... That is:
"Ikhlaskan niat, niat nak tolong patients... and husnudzon pada Allah. InsyaAllah Allah will make it ease... " Ameen....

WALLAHUA'LAM
Just ate nasi goreng ayam and sarsi ais. Going to take a bath and sleep already...
Make du'a for me... :)

MARCH HOLIDAY

Assalamualaikum...

Alhamdulillah, last Wednesday, we went back to KL for March... Actually, I got my 4 days holidays before I change posting to Medical Department. So decided to go back to KL for the last trip, insyaAllah...

Alhamdulillah, I had finished my posting at A & E... The last day I was at A & E, there was a kenduri held for those going away and March and February birthdays... I didn't know there was a kenduri for that. Just so happened that on that day I was woorking morning shift, so, suddenly they said there was Makan-Makan... I had to give a speech some more. Well, I was really not prepared... :) But anyhow, it was a good event. I got a frame and a mug... Thanks A & E staffs n bosses!! :)

InsyaAllah, starting tomorrow I'll be working at Medical which I'm not sure myself how I can get through Medical. But to think back that I have already completed 4 postings, insyaAllah, Medical will be justttt another posting that I will go through... If everybody can, why can't I??? However, bringing my Baby Caliph growing along while working is something that I have to adapt both to the environment and the hectics in the ward. InsyaAllah, one is put at a situation that he/she can handle, that's Allah promise... :)

Anyways, going back to KL was a wonderful ecperience... We went back with AirAsia as always... Actually, I wanted to ride the bus, but my hubby said that if we took the bus, then, I will be grumbling about backache and bodyache because of the long hours in the bus... So, we flew with the SKY BUS, AirAsia... :) We reached Cheras house at 1am on Thursday. Had to wait for my Ayah to pick us up from Port Dickson. We had late dinner. The next day, there was no electric in Bandar Tun Hussein Onn from 9am-5pm. All the shops were dark!!! hehe. So, we didn't know what to do, so we just slept...

During lunch time, I got to eat siput sedut!!! hehe. I told Mak that I wanted to eat the siput sedut. So, she asked Makcik to cook. But instead, we went to the nearest restaurant and bought the lemak cili padi siput sedut! It was very delicious, yum yum!!! :) In the evening, we went to Kajang and got our Kad Nikah. Later, went to HKL to get all my payslips since May 2006 until December 2006... hehe. Then, fetch Mak at Hotel Putra. It was already raining, but since my Mak was hungry we went to Kampung Baru and found a Nasi Bubur warung... The food was tasty and good and cheap!!! :) It was Thailand's dishes. There were like 9 small dishes, udang kering, ikan kering, sayur with tauhu goreng, ikan bilis goreng kerabu mangga and a few more dishes. We thought we wouldn't finish it, but we did!!! hehe.

Friday night, we went to visit the twins at their house. Had our dinner together. The twins were already asleep but since we were making so much noise, they woke up suddenly... :) On Friday, Mak was having her leave. So, early morning we went to Putrajaya Maybank. Then, went around Hospital Serdang, because maybe I'll be delivering my baby there... :) Then, we went to Jaya Jusco Cheras Selatan near our house at Balakong. Mak was hungry again. So, we had our lunch at Johny's. Another Thailand food. :) But I prefer the Nasi Bubur warung one.. if you are asking me...:) After lunch, we slept... That night, Ikram brought Nasi Arab with all the lauk. Mak cooked Ayam tikka! It was really good food! :) Everybody was around that night... :)

On Saturday, we went to our ex-Chinese neighbour at Shah Alam. Celebrating Chinese New Year. We had Nasi Beriani. Actually, my Abangalong was doing the landscape for them also... The landscape looks very nice... :) Later, we went back home and there were 2 more hours before we had to go back to KLIA and depart to Kota Bharu....

It was really good holiday for me and my hubby... Just that, my hubby had something else in his mind. For me, I really freed my mind and just enjoy the good food! Mak said that I should ate all the good food now because later on, after I give birth there'll be 2 months of pantang period where only ikan haruan, ikan bakar for me... hehe. Thanks a lot Mak!!! And now, enjoy the pics...

I'M 27 TODAY!!!

Assalamualaikum...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! :)

as a servant to Allah, a daughter, a wife, a becoming mother and a doctor.....

and Happy birthday to my Abangalong...

Since we shared the same birthday... ;)

He also wishing that my baby will have the same birthdate as his twins... hehe...

Tengoklah dulu... ;)

Today, my husband oncall and I have to work this evening, but tomorrow we will have time together since both of us having holiday!!! :) InsyaAllah...

To all who had wished me, Thank You! :)

CUBAAN DAN HIKMAHNYA DALAM ISLAM

Oleh : Abi AbduLLAAH, Nabiel Fuad Almusawa

Rasulullah SAW adalah orang yang paling tinggi derajatnya disisiAllah, tapi ia juga orang yang paling banyak dan paling berat cobaannya. Para nabi as yang lain juga adalah manusia-manusia paling mulia dan paling dikasihi Allah SWT tapi mereka juga adalah yang paling banyak dan berat dicoba oleh Allah SWT. Kafilah ini lalu diikuti dengan kafilah para ulama salaf yang shalih, mereka adalah yang paling banyak dan berat pula cobaannya jika dibanding manusia lainnya. Imam Syafi'I mengalami pengusiran dari Kufah ke Mesir, Imam Ahmad dipenjara dan disiksa bertahun-tahun danImam Malik disiksa sampai mematahkan kedua tulang bahunya.

Maka ujian bagi seorang mukmin akan selalu meningkatkan keinggian dankemuliaannya disisi Allah, dan menguji kebenaran keimanannya (QS29/1-2). Hikmah yang lain dari cobaan adalah bahwa dengannya seorang mukmin menjadi semakin matang dan kuat, serta bertawakkal dan semakin berserah diri kepada Allah SWT (QS 33/10-13, 22). Dan tidaklah cobaan yang datang kepada seorang mukmin, kecuali hal itu baik baginya sepanjang ia bersabar dan bersyukur, sebagaimana sabda Nabi SAW :Menakjubkan urusan seorang mukmin, jika ia mendapatkan nikmat maka iabersyukur dan syukur itu sangat baik baginya. Dan jika ia ditimpamusibah maka ia bersabar dan sabar itu sangat baik baginya. (HR Muslim& Tirmidzi)

Lihatlah isteri Rasulullah SAW, Aisyah ra yang mendapatkan ujian yang sangat berat dalam sejarah Islam dengan fitnah yang keji, tetapi AllahSWT menyatakan bahwa hal tersebut sangat baik baginya (QS 24/11). ImamGhazali dalam Ihya-nya menceritakan tentang kisah dirinya sendiri, sangkaannya bahwa ia sudah mencapai kesempurnaan dalam bersabar, makaia berdoa pada Allah untuk diberikan ujian sekehendak-Nya, makaAllah-pun mengujinya dengan ujian yang remeh, yaitu tidak dapat buangair kecil, maka iapun tidak mampu menanggung ujian tersebut, makaiapun bertaubat dan Allah SWT menyembuhkannya, maka iapun keluar ke jalan-jalan sambil berkata pada setiap anak kecil yang dijumpainya :Pukullah pakcikmu yang bodoh ini nak!

Ujian adalah sebuah kemestian dalam kehidupan, jangankan sebagai seorang mukmin, orang kafir pun mendapatkan musibah dan kesulitan juga(QS 90/4), tetapi hendaklah kita tidak meminta untuk diberi ujian olehAllah SWT, karena kalau DIA menguji kita, maka ujian tersebut pasti sesuai dengan kemampuan kita, karena DIA Maha Mengetahui lagi MahaBijaksana, tetapi kalau kita yg meminta untuk diuji, maka ujian yang datang boleh jadi diluar kemampuan kita, karena DIA Maha Kuasa lagiMaha Perkasa.

MAKNA CUBAAN

Cubaan (fitnah) berasal dari kata bahasa Arab fa-ta-na yang berarti imtihaan, ikhtiyaar, ibtilaa, yang artinya ujian. Kalimat fatanuadz-dzahaab berarti membakar emas untuk memurnikannya, artinya emas perlu dibakar (diuji) dulu sampai ketahuan kualitasnya. Demikian juga pembakaran batu bata dan pencucian pakaian dilakukan untukmenguatkannya dan membersihkannya. Demikian pula ujian bagi manusiadiberikan untuk menguatkan jiwanya dan membersihkan dosanya. Ali ra berkata : Iman itu bukanlah cita-cita dan bukan pula khayalan manusia, melainkan ia adalah sesuatu yang menghunjam dalam hati dandibenarkan oleh amal perbuatannya.

HIKMAH COBAAN

1. Sbg Fithrah Penciptaan Manusia. Kita ini sekedar menjadi manusia saja sudah dijanjikan akan dipenuhi dg kesulitan dan cobaan (QS 90/4).

2. Sbg Tamhish (proses penyaringan) , antara yg baik dg yg jahat,antara yg benar dg yg salah, antara yg mukmin dg yg munafik (QS 3/141)

3. Sbg Ujian Keimanan (QS 29/1-3). Jk kita menjadi seorang mukmin maka ujiannya akan lebih berat (QS 29/1-3).

4. Sbg Syarat untuk masuk Jannah (QS 2/214). Balasan yg dijanjikanALLAH SWT (Jannah) sangat mahal harganya, maka wajarlah jika untukmendapatkannya tidak mudah.

5. Sbg peningkatan derajat dikalangan para Mujahid dan Muttaqin, jika ingin termasuk kepada barisan para mujahid maka ujiannya akan jauhlebih berat (QS 47/31).

JENIS-JENIS COBAAN

1. COBAAN KELUARGA DAN ANAK (QS 64/14-15)

Contoh terbaik untuk hal ini adalah Nabi Ibrahim dan keluarganya,sudah lama tidak punya anak (QS 15/54), saat usia tua diberi anak diperintahkan oleh Allah SWT untuk ditinggalkan di padang pasir tandus(QS 14/37), saat sudah remaja setelah sekian lama tak bertemu diperintahkan untuk menyembelihnya (QS 37/102) . Tetapi semua itu tidak sedikitpun menggetarkan cintanya kepada Penciptanya.

Contoh lainnya adalah Nabi Muhammad SAW, yang disebutkan dalam al-hadits berkali-kali ditinggal mati oleh keluarganya (dari sejak kecil sudah tidak punya ayah, lalu ditinggal mati ibunya, kakeknya,pamannya, istrinya, anak-anaknya) tetapi beliau SAW tetap bersabar.

Para tabiin seperti Farukh yang meninggalkan istrinya dalam keadaan hamil untuk mempertahankan Islam, maka anaknya kemudian menjadi tokoh tabiin di Madinah yaitu Rabiah ar-Rayu. Ulama salaf lainnya seperti Imam Syafii ditinggal oleh ayahnya berjihad, tetapi ibunya tetap bersabar dan berikhtiar sehingga anaknya menjadi ulama nombor satu pada zamannya.

Contoh untuk cobaan yang keburukan keluarga adalah yang dialami oleh Nabi Luth dan Nabi Nuh as. Seorang hamba yang beriman, tetapi isteri mereka malah paling memusuhi dakwahnya sehingga istri mereka berdua diabadikan oleh Allah SWT dalam al-Quran sebagai tokoh-tokoh ahli neraka (QS 66/10). Pada kondisi cobaan dari suami yg jahat adalah seperti yg dialami oleh Asiah binti Muzahim, istri Firaun, yg bersabar atas siksaan suaminya sehingga menjadi salah seorang diantara wanita paling terkemuka di syurga (QS 66/11)

2. COBAAN HARTA (QS 57/20)

Nabi Sulaiman as. Dibukakan berlimpahnya harta sebagai raja yang paling berkuasa, diberikan kemampuan menundukkan binatang-binatang, bahkan Jin, Syaithan, angin sebagai kendaraannya, mampu mengertibahasa-bahasa binatang, tetapi ia malah berdoa : Wahai Rabb-ku,tunjukkanlah padaku bagaimana caranya aku mensyukuri nimat-Mu, dan bagaimana caranya aku beribadah yang paling Engkau ridhai (QS 27/19).

Nabi Muhammad SAW : Mendapat 1/5 harta ghanimah, pernah mendapat bagian ghanimah kambing sebanyak dua bukit, tapi saat wafat hanya memiliki kuda, pedang dan baju besi yang tergadai pada seorang Yahudi. Selesai shalat buru-buru ke kamarnya karena ingat pada sekeping emas yang belum dishadaqahkan; Pada wanita yang memberikan kue saat ia memegang perhiasan Bahrain, langsung diberi semua perhiasan yang dipegangnya; Domba 2 bukit setelah perang Hunain yang diminta oleh seorang Badui diberikan seluruhnya; Tidak pernah bilang 'Tidak' pada orang yang meminta (HR Muttafaq alaih dari Jabir ra).

Beliau SAW pernah menyatakan : Demi Allah, bukanlah kefakiran yang aku takutkan atas kalian, tetapi aku takut jika Allah nanti membukakan pintu dunia sebagaimana telah dibuka-Nya untuk ummat sebelum kalian, lalu kalian berlomba-lomba menikmatinya, sebagaimana ummat sebelum kalian juga telah berlomba menikmatinya, lalu dunia itu membinasakan kalian, sebagaimana telah membinasakan mereka. Hadits ini dialami oleh sahabat ra (saat penaklukan Persia), yaitu berlimpahnya ghanimah kaum muslimin, sampai ada seorang prajurit bawahan yang membawa sebuah mahkota Raja Kisra Persia dan memberikannya pada komandannya sehingga membuat kagum sang komandan pada kejujurannya.

Hikmah ditenggelamkannya Qarun dizaman Musa as (QS 28/76), karena gagal diuji dengan hartanya.

3. COBAAN ILMU (QS 2/44; 7/175-176)

Hikmah dari Bal'am bin Mulkan (QS 7/175-176), seorang ulama BaniIsrail yang sangat alim (pandai) dan ahli ibadah, tetapi kemudian tergoda oleh syahwat (wanita) dan dunia (harta) sehingga termasuk kedalam orang yang celaka di dunia dan di akhirat. Hikmah dari Samiri (QS 20/95-96), seorang ulama Bani Israil yang sangat pandai, tetapi kepandaiannya kemudian disalahgunakan sepeninggal sang pemimpin untuk membuat sapi betina yang menyesatkan kaumnya.

4. COBAAN DALAM PENYAKIT DAN KEMISKINAN

Hikmah Nabi Ayyub as (QS 21/83), diberi ujian penyakit yang sangat berat tetapi tetap dalam keimanannya sehingga Allah SWT mengangkat derajatnya di dunia dan di akhirat. Hikmah dr ujian Nabi Yusuf as yg dijebloskan ke sumur dan ditelantarkan oleh saudaranya (QS 12/15), lalu dipenjara bertahun2 (QS12/35) karena menghindari rayuan wanita yg tidak baik yaitu istri dral-Aziz Mesir (QS 12/32).

5. COBAAN SIKSAAN DARI ORANG KAFIR

Hikmah Ashaabul Kahfi, para pemuda yg beriman yg menolak mengikuti masyarakatnya yg tdk beriman dan bermaksiat (QS 18/15), sehingga mereka melarikan diri dan hijrah keluar dr negaranya dan diselamatkan oleh ALLAH SWT ditidurkan selama 309 th (QS 18/25). Hikmah Ashaabul Ukhdud (QS 85/4-8), seorang pemuda beriman yang diberikan berbagai cobaan berat namun diselamatkan Allah SWT, sehingga kematiannya oleh raja disaksikan oleh seluruh penduduk di kota tersebut dan menyebabkan masuk Islamnya seluruh kota, sehingga raja membuat parit mengelilingi kota dan menyalakan api serta menyuruh seluruh penduduk yang tidak mau kafir untuk mencebur ke dalam parit tsb, sehingga ribuan orang mati syahid (hadits selengkapnya di KitabRiyadhus Shalihin jilid-II, oleh Imam Nawawi)

6. COBAAN DALAM BERDAKWAH
Nabi Nuh as berdakwah siang dan malam tdk henti2 (QS 71/5), selama 950th lamanya (QS 29/14), tp kaumnya malah menutup telinga dan muka mereka dg kain untuk penolakan melakukan penghinaan yg luar biasa. Nabi Musa as setelah membebaskan kaumnya orang2 Yahudi dr pengejaran Firaun, menunjukkan berbagai mujizat yg luar biasa di hadapan mereka, tongkat yg bisa menjadi ular dan tangan yg bercahaya (QS 7/107-108),angin taufan, belalang, kutu, katak, darah (QS 7/133), membelah lautan(QS 26/63). Tp mereka masih menyembah sapi karena kedegilan mereka (QS7/148).

7. COBAAN DALAM BERAGAMA (QS 5/77)

Yaitu menjadi berlebih-lebihan dan ekstrim (ifraath) atau sebaliknya menjadi berkurang-kurangan (tafriith) dalam menjalankan agama. Sabda Nabi SAW : Agama Islam ini akan dipikul dalam setiap generasi oleh orang-orang yang adil; yang senantiasa berusaha membersihkan agama ini dari penyimpangan orang-orang yang berlebihan, manipulasi orang-orang yang sesat, dan penafsiran orang-orang yang bodoh. (HRAhmad)

Orang yang berlebihan/ekstrim senantiasa berusaha menambah-nambahi dan memperberat agama yang sudah sempurna ini dengan berbagai penafsiran yg membuat agama ini kehilangan kelembutan dan rahmahnya sehingga menjadi agama yg keras, garang dan tanpa kompromi. Sementara orang-orang yang sesat selalu berusaha menafsirkan ayat ataupun hadits sesuai keinginan dan hawa nafsunya dengan tujuan jahat dan merusakIslam dari dalam. Dan orang-orang yang bodoh berusaha melaksanakan ibadah tanpa ilmu dan tanpa disertai dalil-dalil yang kuat sehinggaagama ini menjadi penuh dg bidah.

Bahwa syarat diterimanya ibadah mahdhah adalah bahwa ia harus ikhlas(QS 98/5) dan harus ittiba/ada contohnya dari Nabi SAW berdasarkan dalil yang shahih (QS 3/31). Sedangkan syarat diterimanya ibadahghairu mahdhah (muamalah) adalah harus ikhlas dan tidak bertentangandengan dalil yang shahih.

MARAJI
1. Al-Quran al-Karim, Tafsir wal Bayan Wa Asbaab an Nuzuul. DR.Muhammad Hasan al-Mahdhiy.
2. Riyadhus Shalihin. Imam Abi Zakariyya Yahya bin Syaraf an-Nawawi Asy-Syafi'i.
3. Hikmatul Ibtilaa. Asy Syahid Sayyid Quthb.
4. Suar min Hayati at-Tabi'in. DR Khalid Muhammad Khalid
5. Lain-lain.

p/s: Alhamdulillah, went to check my email and suddenly got this wonderful tazkirah. SABAR UMMI!!! InsyaAllah, there were so much hikmah from all the ujian that Ummi got at A&E! ;)