Better than blogging

You know how a lot of people use their blogs as a journal? Do you want to know what's even better than that? Actually journaling! Who knew?!

This baby is changing and growing so fast and I want to remember everything that's going on--or at least the highlights. Blogging and/or writing pages in a journal is too tedious for me so I found the best solution for lazy moms like me.

I found out about a company called May Books which makes personalized notebooks for way cheap. I ordered one for Jane (the 2012 calendar) and everyday I write in a few sentences about what she's up to, how she's growing, what we did during the day, etc. It takes like 40 seconds and now I have a record of my baby's first year of life.

May Books just launched their new 2012 patterns and I want one of each. They make great gifts, too! (I should get paid for this crap!) I ordered one for myself but haven't written in it once. Baby steps.

my shameful secret

A few weeks after Jane was born, I watched a youtube video of Steve Young getting flash mobbed for his birthday. I was so touched by the surprise and bewilderment on his face that I sobbed through the whole thing. I was so embarrassed that I was crying over such a stupid video. I just watched it again today and I'm starting to think that the "bewilderment look" is a permanent thing on poor Steve's face. Probably from all of those concussions.

Half-y birthday

Yesterday my baby turned six months old. She's army crawling like a fool, likes bananas the best, and thinks I'm funnier than her dad. She's 15 lbs 5 oz, 26 inches tall, and she cries when I drag her away from putting cords in her mouth. I'm really scared for when she starts to crawl for realsies.

February Silviaisms

Thank you for the overwhelming response to my last emo post. I wasn't looking for validation, but I will admit that I loved getting it! Isn't it so funny how we all feel the same way about those dumb stripey straws, but still continue to read those blogs from people we don't even know in real life?? It's nice every once in a while to see their pretty houses and to dream about one day throwing a beautiful party like theirs, but after a while it just makes me feel like crap. I unsubscribed from a bunch of those blogs and feel a lot better about myself. After writing that post, I blew off work for the next few days and got rid of the dust bunnies and spent time with my family instead. But now I'm still trying to catch up on my work and that sucks too. Ssshhh, I'm thinking about quitting soon, don't tell. If you know anything about where I work, then you know how awesome it's going to feel to be away from that place.

In lighter news, Silvia's been around and has been saying funny things! These are just from the last five days, so I'm sure there will be more to come.

• While discussing one of my non-stick pans becoming a sticky-pan: "Just spray it with a little Spam."
• While I was watching The Bachelor: "Is this the show The Matchmaker?"
• While Jane was in the bathtub: "She is so perfect! She looks just like a little Baby Jesus, but a woman."
• While watching funny videos of my nephew Wyatt doing tricks on his bike: "You should send it to Family Home Evening." She meant America's Funniest Home Videos.
• Describing Jane screaming in her car seat: "She was thrashing and launching!" She pronounced it loun-ching.
• Discussing brilliant 21-month-old Eli: "Eli is so smart! He knows 24 of the 27 letters!"

Keepin' it Real

Me: Unkempt. Second-day bangs. Christmas pajamas.

Jane: Snot bubbles flaring. Constipated. Probably bored with me.

On Saturday, our doorbell rang quickly twice in a row. This meant one of two things: the UPS man, or our four-year-old neighbor looking for some candy. I answered the door fully expecting to see our young friend or an Amazon box. I looked like the above photo (hell), and was surprised to see it was our elderly neighbor delivering some Valentine's treats. I think he went home and thought about having a stroke, he was so scared of the sight of me.

Guys, being a mom is hard. Let me be clear: I love my baby. Jane is a good baby; she sleeps through the night, most days takes pretty good naps, she's a good eater, and she's relatively healthy. But I'm still so, so exhausted. I don't know how you people with difficult/colicky/needy babies survive. You must be really, really tired.

I'm working from home part-time and somehow have to work twenty hours a week, keep a house clean, pay attention to Jason, raise a baby, feed a family, take care of myself, etc. I can't do it all, so some things are sacrificed. I'll once again reference the above photo to give you a hint as to one of the sacrifices I make. Also, if you come over to my house, let's just say that it wouldn't pass a white glove test. Or maybe, if there were gloves made out of dust, it wouldn't pass the "dust glove" test either, if you catch my drift.

The simplest of tasks have become so difficult. Now a simple trip to Target has to be strategically coordinated with feeding schedules and nap times, and those available times rarely coincide with when I'm showered and/or clothed. I miss Target.

I guess I'm just annoyed with seeing all these blogs with people living their fake, beautiful lives. I think everyone, at some point, comes to this realization of how unbelievably false BlogLand can be. I know this isn't a new thing, and it's definitely not new to me, I've just never typed it out before. I'm just so sick of, "Oh, this is the amazing bridal shower/birthday party/baby shower I just threw together so last minute for a friend. Blah blah blah, striped straws, blah blah blah Pinterest, blah blah blah amazing food with cute labels in front of it, blah blah blah photo booth with mustaches on sticks!!" I want to know how these people do it! Do they have full-time nannies? Are their husbands billionaires, or do their parents still give them money? Do they have cleaning ladies and personal trainers? Get real, people!

Anyway, that's enough writing about my feelings for the day. Wah wah wah, my life is hard, but it really isn't, so I'm done complaining. Want to go to Target with me? Just don't be startled if I look like Lydia from Beetlejuice. And don't come too close to me because I probably haven't brushed my teeth yet.

Parenthood

A year ago, our Sunday nights consisted of baking cookies,  watching The Walking Dead, and/or playing video games.

Tonight, a Sunday, we are cleaning baby poo out of our bathtub. My, how the times have changed.

thirty

Today is my baby daddy's 30th birthday. I don't say it enough: Jason is the best husband and partner, my best friend, and such a good dad. Seriously, you should see how Janie excitedly flails and squeals when he comes into the room. Plus he's like, totally hottt. I'm a lucky gal to have him by my side for forever.

Five stages of grief

1. Denial

Dairy can't possibly be making my baby fussy. How can her mood be affected by what I eat?

2. Anger

She's just a baby. It's not me, it's her. Get over it, baby! There is NO WAY I'm giving up cheese!

3. Bargaining

Just a quesadilla after church can't hurt, right? It's only one slice of sharp cheddar! Maybe just a small bowl of cereal, too.

4. Depression

I'm never going to have ice cream AGAIN!!! I want to die!!!

5. Acceptance

I am lactose intolerant. I always have been. I was just always stuck in stage 1.

A good year

2011 was great. We had a beautiful, healthy baby girl. Jason finished his first year of grad school with good grades. And I got bangs. I hope 2012 is just as wonderful.