Gate Keepers

I recently took issue with a lesson that was being taught about the priesthood. I've never had a problem feeling cheated out of holding priesthood authority, but I know many who have. I get frustrated when people underestimate how painful this topic is for some and in their way of setting things straight talk about the wonderfulness of men. Now don't get me wrong, I believe men are wonderful, but men do not make the priesthood, the priesthood makes men AND women. Women are not left out of the perfecting power of God in their lives because the don't hold authority. They still have access and have just as great an opportunity to grow into a calling just like any male in the church who holds the authority of the priesthood. It seems that these kind of lessons often go to how awesome bishops. Some are, but what about the fact than many men will never be a bishop. Are they too left out of this, should they be just as bummed as women?) I personally never have understood why we don't talk about supporting the relief society presidency when we have priesthood talks, or the primary or the yw, or visiting teachers, or temple matrons etc...while they don't hold keys, they access them and absolutely use the power of God to bless His children through those calls given through priesthood authority. Everyone should be included in those discussions, not just men. We should be talking about how we can support each other in helping with the Lord's work of perfecting the saints. I believe it's important to understand authority, but that's an equal conversation for the men as well as the women. President Eyring gave a good talk about that for the priesthood session of general conference called "The Lord Leads His Church."

A couple years ago I bought Sheri Dew's book about women in the priesthood because I wanted to make sure I understood it well enough to help seminary students and anyone else I knew was struggling. It is fantastic and I highly recommend it. In fact, I need to re-read it because I have forgotten so much. Well, that doesn't move throughout the church like having the current general young women's presidency would. So, I'm so happy that they are taking this topic on and helping sisters to better understand their roll. Here's a quote from a recent discussion on how to help women in the church feel valued:

Sister Marriott: We’ve heard it, but it’s hard to get it into our minds, to make that shift that the priesthood is not the men of the Church. Priesthood is the power of God, and we all work with that power—not necessarily with keys or even with duties described in the scriptures, but we all have this power as we fulfill our covenant responsibilities. Even saying “support the priesthood,” we’re really saying “support the power of God.” I think we even need to go better and say we support those who work with priesthood power so that priesthood doesn’t take on this human identity that we just keep going back to. It’s just habit. But we need to get out of that habit. We need to keep pushing that idea out that this is about God’s power in our lives."

Here's a link to the whole conversation and I highly recommend watching the 30 min video. https://www.lds.org/blog/how-to-help-young-women-see-their-value-in-the-church?cid=FB_10_25_17_DP&__prclt=MupyxUaM

I was thinking about this again while driving home from taking my kids to school. This is where it get's into the interpretation of Heather and not doctrine. I think of men being the gate keepers. I know there's a talk out there that likens the access to priesthood power as men being the openers of the blinds to let the power of God through the window. (I tried to find it, but couldn't) I think gate keeper sounds a little more valiant than blind opener.  I think of them as the protectors of the power of God from perversion. It doesn't seem a far stretch that even Satan has access to the power of God which he corrupts and uses for his own purposes. How many talks have there been throughout the years about unrighteous dominion or misuse of priesthood authority? And the consequences of misuse, like the often quoted scripture from Doctrine and Covenants 121

36 That the ^arights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be ^bcontrolled nor handled only upon the ^cprinciples of righteousness.

37 That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to ^acover our ^bsins, or to gratify our ^cpride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or ^ddominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens ^ewithdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.

39 We have learned by sad experience that it is the ^anature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little ^bauthority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise ^cunrighteous dominion.

40 Hence many are called, but ^afew are chosen.

41 No ^apower or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the ^bpriesthood, only by ^cpersuasion, by ^dlong-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

I see women as the gatekeeper over the power of creation. The protectors of human life and dignity. Women don't like to be told that they can have babies and men can have the priesthood. It doesn't go over well and it usually leads to arguments about women who can't have children or don't, or that men can be more nurturing than women etc.. Something Sheri Dew talked about was the fact the Eve was called the mother of all living before she was a mother. Just because that power was not used in the creation of life in your womb while on this earth, it doesn't mean you don't have rights and responsibilities associated with that power. 

Together those two gatekeepers responsibilities mark the path of righteousness and bless every single child of God. Men and women access the power of God in exactly the same way. If you want to be among 'the few who are chosen', then you have to live after the manner of righteousness by honoring and keeping your covenants.  It's up to you, there's no magic. In fact the only difference between the apostles and prophets and the rest of us are the choices we make. You can be equally as worthy as they are. You absolutely wont have the same authority but the same worthiness and access to the power of God. We have equal opportunity to be changed by power of God through our covenants. I think the next conversation to have is about covenants. Wendy Watson Nelson has been taking on this topic and it has helped me tremendously.  I think we are suffering from a lack of understanding the power of covenants and the responsibility to remain worthy of our covenants because if truly understood, we wouldn't be as eager to break them or take them lightly. 

Exactly Where I Was Supposed To Be.

Tuesday was my regular temple day and in the new year my beloved 9 am session was taken away. I now have to go at 10 am and it's surprising how that extra hour really messes up the day. I feel like I can't get anything done between taking my kids to and from school and attending the temple. When I arrived at the temple I remembered that I had completely spaced listening to the announcement of the new prophet and counselors. I ran into a friend there who had just done initiatories and was contemplating either going to the celestial room or doing the 10am session because she didn't want to miss the broadcast. I told her that I thought it already happened at 9. She thought it wasn't happening until 12 and a couple workers thought it was at 10. What a mess. lol The first thought that came to my mind though was that it didn't matter. Being in the temple was the better option than listening live. I had the feeling that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.  I was meeting another friend there who had listened on the way over so I at least knew who the counselors were and she said that I really needed to listen to what was said. Thank goodness for technology and I could listen on the way home.

Here's a summery excerpt from LDS.org:

President Nelson said he and his counselors in the First Presidency, President Dallin H. Oaks and President Henry B. Eyring, chose to broadcast from the temple to emphasize their wish for members to be “endowed with power in a house of the Lord, sealed as families—faithful to covenants made in a temple,” which are key to “strengthening your life, your marriage and family, and your ability to resist the attacks of the adversary. Your worship in the temple and your service there for your ancestors will bless you with increased personal revelation and peace and will fortify your commitment to stay on the covenant path,” he said.

Urging members to “keep on the covenant path,” President Nelson said, “Your commitment to follow the Savior by making covenants with Him and then keeping those covenants will open the door to every spiritual blessing and privilege available to women, men, and children everywhere,” he said.

Expressing thanks for parents who are serious about their commitment to righteous, intentional parenting,” President Nelson shared how a 4-year-old boy named Benson prayed that as the prophet he would “be brave and not scared that he’s new, and help him to grow up to be healthy and strong.”

He said he was thankful for every parent, teacher, and member who carries heavy burdens and yet serves so willingly.

That definitely reaffirmed to me that I had been in exactly the right place. What a cool little experience I was blessed to have. 

Also from president Oaks was this statement from lds.org

Expressing his support for President Nelson, President Oaks said, “With all my heart I pledge my loyalty and support for President Nelson’s loving and inspired leadership.I rejoice in the opportunity to give my full efforts to bear witness of Jesus Christ and to proclaim the truth of His restored gospel.”

I was especially happy to see him in the presidency along with another of my favorites, president Eyring. If I had been writing back during last general conference I would have talked about then elder Oaks talk called "The Plan and the Proclamation." I have been using that talk a ton. Here's what I think of it- with a meme:

After he gave that talk even Deseret News was slamming it and all the ex-mos came out of the woodwork and bashed it. I'm pretty sure it wins the title of most hated talk from Oct general conference. President Oaks is next in seniority for being the prophet and President Nelson is 93- a very young 93, but still 93. I wonder if president Oaks will be talked about the way president Benson is about his politics and how we don't have to follow what he said yada yada blah blah. It's scary and ridiculous the way people pick and choose which apostles and prophets to listen to and I feel like everything they don't agree with they attribute them to the words of the man not the words of God. They take a true principle about speaking on behalf of ones self and the Lord and exaggerate it to fit their own narrative. I love president Oaks and would give away all that I had to be standing next to him in this. He's got mad courage in my book. Anyone who thinks the apostles have extra courage because of their callings is partially right, but in the end they are men who have weaknesses and I'm sure it was scary to give the talk he did considering the social climate we live in that has even permeated the church climate. Many members are getting lost along the way because of hard doctrine like found in the Family Proclamation. For me it is a bench mark. Are you with the apostles or are you not. It's something that if you don't have a testimony of, you need to get one. I've taught lessons on the talk a couple of times and I'm sure I will bring it up again because it's that important. For me, if you have a problem with this talk it stems from a lack of understanding or belief in the Plan of Salvation. Heavenly Father wanted all his children saved, therefor a plan was formed for that. THE plan. For salvation - and exaltation. Everything ties back to THE PLAN. 

I'm so grateful for living prophets and apostles and the opportunity I have to receive revelation that what they say is as if God himself were speaking. It's my opportunity to move in the direction of the apostles and prophets and not in my own direction or the direction of the world. There have been times where I've really needed to figure out where I stand on counsel from them that I wasn't sure I agreed with and through wrestling with the Lord and studying it out and being patient I've always come around. It's not easy, but we are being strengthened at that process isn't easy nor was it designed to be. 

Teaching Youth

In September I got moved to the 14-15 year old class. The teacher that was already teaching the class had already been asking the students if they had any missionary experiences from the previous week, and I added flecks of gold and writing them down and putting them on a board as a visual reminder of how much the Lord is in their lives. A few probably fell off, but the gold/brown are the flecks of gold and the green are missionary experiences. I loved it when a student would say they weren't sure if it was a fleck of gold or a missionary moment. YES! That's the point! The Lord is in everything. I've gotta tell you I've been super impressed with their missionary moments. Really good stuff and even a couple Books of Mormon given out. Now I get to start a new one for a new year and new class. I'm going to have to find a bigger board or end up with several for the year. I no longer have a permanent structure to just tape them all to (like I did when teaching seminary in my home) and leave it for the year, so we have to make do.

For the new year I also asked the kids to write down on slips of paper what things they wanted to learn and talk about this year. If they had questions they needed answers to or something they wanted to know more about. Sometimes I use the 'come follow me' lessons, but I just pray for inspiration on what my specific kids need and then go with it. My job is to prepare them for missions so I treat the class as an MTC and I care more about building unity with the class then anything else. You can't access true power without it. The power to learn, and to become converted will happen at a much higher success rate if you have unity and trust. I'm not talking about building unity with a big ole party attitude where we just goof off, that's not it at all. A good portion of my lesson time is spent not the flecks of gold and missionary experiences. After that if anyone has participated in the Sacrament meeting program by prayer, talk, song, or blessing the sacrament; each student takes a turn telling that person something they like or admire about them. I don't stress that both of those activities takes up a large portion of time and then I try to get anything I teach down to a micro bite. My tendencies in the past were to cram as much in as
I could because time is precious, but that didn't turn out to be very effective. It's definitely easier to do without a companion because you know you can just pick up where you left off the next time. You've really got to learn to let go when you've got a companion. I was only with my partner for a couple weeks and then she moved away. I was super sad because she was young and awesome. She is a semi recent returned missionary and newly married and just finished nursing school. The kids loved her and her husband because they are still cool and they love the gospel and take it seriously while having a good time. I felt bad that the students were stuck with an old person.

Below is the list of things I received back from the kids that they wanted to learn this year. The (2) means how many requested the same thing. Some of them were silly, but these are the things young people are thinking about. I hope that as we build unity I will start to get a list of things that they are unsure of because I know they are sitting there having some doubts, but are afraid to express them. I really try to help the kids feel safe and know that I don't think they are apostate because they have questions or doubts. Questions and doubts are opportunities to gain a testimony. Nothing scares me. I'll talk about anything in the framework of belief. Basically using (A) acquiring (S) spiritual (K)knowledge. I may need a min or a day to think about it, but I will always answer not deflect. I hate it when a teacher deflects. It shows their crack in testimony and kids (lets face it, adults too) will hone in a prey upon that and ultimately not feel validate or trust you or believe a word you say.

Here's their list:

Millennium

Second Coming  (2)

Patriarchal Blessings (2)

Staying strong in gospel (2) stay strong to your beliefs when everyone is awful

Premortal existence (2)

Patience

Personal revelation

How to be in world but not of it

How to stand out righteously

Understanding girls (I'm going to have to ponder this one. How can I help them in the framework of the gospel, women's divine nature, how husbands should treat wives etc... How can I give them what they're looking for and still tie it into those categories)

Why does it say we should fear God

Jesus (2)

Religion memes (I can make this one be about sharing the gospel on-line)

Sodom and Gomorrah and when it's going to happen again (2)

Family History (2)

Jumping ( I can't wait to see the look on the kids face when we actually do a lesson about jumping. I can make anything spiritual! hee hee!)

What Serving Two People Taught Me

I wish that I had written this down when it was fresh in my mind, oh well. During December I had two experiences with service that were very different. I used it as a lesson for my on-line seminary class and my Sunday School class. I had them find principles that illustrated the difference between them. Why were they different and was one good and one bad. Could they find any examples of service not always being fun. These experiences also required discernment.

Jordyn and I were driving together either on our way to or from school when we saw the lady that I had noticed several times walking along the highway. She is always a long way from anything and I've wondered where she's going and how much time she spends walking. That particular day I said to Jordyn, 'I wonder what her name is.' We then began to wonder if she was homeless, why she walks etc.. We decided that we should get her a Christmas present and that it should probably be something that she could use while she is walking- like a hat and gloves. Now, we weren't sure if she was homeless because she didn't have a cart with her, but she is always wearing several layers of clothing with a prairie dress as the outer layer and she always has an umbrella open.

I went to the store and bought a few things and then I kept thinking, 'well, maybe she needs this and maybe she needs this too.'

I got home and laid out all the stuff and felt a little ridiculous. I had spent $40 on a complete stranger who I had no idea if she would be offended at such an offering, but I got out the smallest gift bag I thought would hold everything and still allow her to get where she was going without it being too cumbersome. When Jordyn got home from school I had her place the items in it and put it in the car for the next time we saw her. We went over a week without seeing her again. Which was enough time for me to consider once again that it wasn't inspiration I had received. Learning to discern inspiration is hard. 

Now it's a Tuesday. I had been contemplating driving into town to pick up a prescription at Costco. I had procrastinated until I had a very small window in which to actually go before I had to be back to pick the kids up from school. I had decided to not go when I got a call from Nate saying that a rep had brought in barbecue from one of our favorite places and that if I wanted it for dinner I had to come pick it up because he'd be home late. That helped me to make my decision and then I was left to decide which stop to make first. I decided to pick up the food first and then stop at Costco. I had also brought our new little puppy and was trying to decide if I should just carry her in to get the prescription or leave her in the car. I changed my mind like 3 times and eventually decided to leave her in the car. I mean seriously! Look at how tiny and adorable she was!

So I'm in line at the pharmacy and the old man I had seen over at the far wall looking at a tower of goods was now laying flat of the floor. It took me a min to register that that wasn't what I should be seeing and that something was wrong. I stood there for a min wondering if I should lose my place in line and go help him or if someone else would come to his rescue or if he was praying desperately that no one saw him laying on the floor and if I went to him I would make him feel worse. I got called up and got my prescription. I kept thinking; 'surely someone has seen him by now and will help him.' Well, I was done very quick and he had made it to all fours at this time and was trying to use his cart to pull himself up. I was so worried that his cart was going to take off and make him fall again. I ran over there, grasped his arm and asked if I could help him. He said he was alright and I told him that I begged to differ. I was trying to figure out what I needed to do because he had used all his energy to pull himself up and he was shaking pretty badly at this point. He was probably in his 80's and was very frail. I knew I needed to get him sitting down and resting before he could continue on. Luckily I found a chair in the hearing aid booth we were standing next to and I ran and grabbed it. I then braced the cart with one foot and the chair with my other foot, held him with my 1 free arm and lowered him to the chair.  I knelt down next to him and asked him if he had more shopping to do and if I could go and get the items for him while he sat there and waited for me. He again said he was fine. I just kept wondering, who loves you, who knows you're here, why did they let you come shopping alone. It was all I could do to keep from crying. I asked him about himself and he told me about his wife and how she was very ill and how he had an infection in his ankle. He just had a resigned attitude about the situation him and his wife were in and they were just living as best they could without complaint. I'm sure his shopping trip was an all day event from getting ready to getting there and back. I begged him to please let me help him more, but he just kept smiling and telling me he was alright. I asked him who his dr was taking care of his ankle and he told me it was urgent care. I had a buisness card in my wallet for my husband and asked him to please go and see him so that he could get his ankle better so that he could take care of his wife. She needed him to get better. I was hoping he would take me up on it and I would call the office and tell them not to charge him. I will mention that when I first got over to him the lady working at the hearing aide booth came over to see if he was ready to talk to her. She wanted him to walk over there right that minute. I looked at her incredulously and said "he just fell on the floor right in front of you. No one helped him and he needs to rest a min." She seemed unfazed and annoyed. She must have had a come to Jesus with herself because she came back a few min later with a few appointment times written on a post-it note so that she could try and schedule something with him right there. My new friend decided that he was ready to walk over and sit down to schedule something so I helped him up and watched him slowly shuffle the couple of steps over to the clinic. I wish he would have let me see him safely to his car. I remembered that I didn't know his name yet and I touched his arm again and said, 'I don't know your name.' He said it was Bob and I told him mine and wished him a very merry Christmas. I was in the right place at the right time to be able to help this sweet man who didn't want anything from me.

It's now Thursday. I was driving to pick up the kids from school and there she was. Our mystery lady. She was on the other side of the street than she had normally been. I hoped that she would still be there when I was making my way home with the kids so that they could give her the gift with me. As luck would have it, she was still walking and I was able to pull into a little place ahead of her and walk back toward her so she could see us coming and we weren't sneaking up on her. Ethan and his anxiety stayed in the car and Jordyn and I went out and greeted her. It was at that point we could see the sad state she was in. The matted wig and fake fur coat and layers of tattered clothing. We told her that we see her all the time and that we wanted to know her name (it's Lydia) and give her a gift because we were wanting to spread the light of Jesus Christ by doing something nice for someone, and since we see her almost everyday we thought we should know who she was and do something for her. She then asked. 'so you believe in God?' I told her that I did and then she started looking through her purse to show me an ad that she had just picked up on the side of the road with a Christmas tree on it like the one that was on the gift bag I had given her. She said; 'God told me he was going to send someone to help me today and this is the proof (the ad) that it's you.'  

Now, listen. You're preaching to the choir about revelation and acting on promptings from the Lord, but I started getting cynical. I thought, yeah right?! But, ok, since I believe that's what happened it doesn't matter if I think you're out to manipulate me into giving you more than the gift we had already handed over. She then told me that God told her that this person that was going to help her would buy her 10 bottles of kerosene. At this point I realize there is only one way this woman is getting kerosene and getting it to her home. She's got to get in the car with me, my 2 kids, and new puppy. At this point I'm thinking. Mayday. Mayday. Abort mission. Abort mission. Now I'm assessing the situation and wondering if this is something I have to do or should I just remind her of the gift she got and make a run for the car. It was looking like a pretty solid plan to make a run for the car until a thought came to my mind about the good samaritan. Specific details came to my mind. How the Samaritan not only stopped to help, but took him to an inn and paid for his room and left money for any expenses and then promised to return and pay any extra that was used. He really went the extra mile. Why was I thinking about this story while standing next to a woman who is clearly crazy because while all this is going down in my mind she mentions that she also needs to go to walmart in addition to tractor supply where the kerosene is. Visions of dollar signs went dancing through my head. This woman now sees me as an ATM machine or Santa Clause. Surely the Lord does not expect me to do this! But, I found myself leading her to our car. How could I ditch her after thinking about the good Samaritan? Luckily Ethan was able to keep his anxiety in check -especially now that we had her in the car with us. Now is a good time to mention that at no point did I feel scared or threatened or in danger. Scared about how much money this was going to cost me, yeah sure, but not sacred for my life or that of my kids.

We go to tractor supply where I learn that these bottles of kerosene are $10 each. She keeps telling me how many God wants her to get and I had to reply that God was only telling me to get 6. He really wasn't that I'm aware of, but I knew that I still had a walmart trip happening and I was getting in deep financially. I kept asking in my mind. Is this what you really want me to do? How much do I need to do? Is this enough? Am I allowed to negotiate? The wheels were seriously spinning a million miles a minute. An employee had to be called over because the only bottles were on the top shelf. When he realized how many we needed he tried to help me save money by buying a larger container but Lydia wasn't having it. She kept talking about how it would spill and this was her only source of heat and anytime he tried to offer her a solution she felt like he was telling her she was doing something wrong. The crazy train was steaming down the tracks at this point. It became very apparent that I wasn't dealing with a sane person. I finally had to turn to the lovely man and tell him that I appreciate that he was trying to save me money and his solution was a superior one, but that I was just going to have to do the non-economical thing and buy the 6 bottles that would only heat her home for 3 days -at least that's what she told me when I was trying to figure out how many God wanted me to buy for her. 

On to walmart we go. This story is getting longer than I have the patience to keep writing. In a nutshell. She wanted lots of stuff. I finally had to start treating her like a 5 year old. With each new thing she said she really needed and was on her list that God told her to write, (which I saw the list and it looked like a story she had written out and not a list) I would have to say; You can have this or that, not both. This happened several times. My kids were going nuts by this point. We spent forever looking for 5,000 uv protection sunglasses because God wanted her to protect her eyes better. It was no use arguing with her that they don't make such a thing. Then she was arguing with the woman behind the deli counter over the fact that they don't cook pizzas there but Lydia insisted that they did. The woman told her the only cooked pizza she would have seen came from Dominos delivery for an employee. Guess what she wanted me to do next? Order her a pizza. Now, we did get her things that a person needs to stay warm. Slippers, a blanket, a sweater, some food, some candles because she doesn't have electricity. I could hardly turn someone down for essentials. 100 dollars later she was asking me to order her a dominos pizza and have it delivered to her house before it got dark because it's hard to find. She reminded me that it had to already be cooked because she doesn't have electricity. Well, turns out there's a minimum order for delivery and over 16 dollars later I had a pizza coming to her house. 

We finally get loaded into the car and heading toward her house. I found out that when she goes out walking she's gone for 6 hours. I believe it because from where we picked her up to where she lives was a 20 min drive. We finally make it to her trailer and it's obvious there's no electricity and there are torn sheets on the windows. I unload everything and find a way to quietly remind my son where my gun is in case there's trouble. She then wanted to go inside and write me a thank you card. At this point I am losing control of my environment and felt like it was stupid to let her go into her house and just stay there and wait. Besides the fact that it had been 3 hours with this woman and I decided I was done. I wanted no reason to prolong this visit. I got in my car and we drove away before she could come back out. I felt bad because she walked after us for a little bit and I probably should have turned around, but I thought we could just be like Santa Clause and ride off into the night. 

So, two very different experiences. The first wanted nothing and his smile warmed my heart. The second wanted and wanted and wanted some more. At one point I felt like asking her how much money she thinks is appropriate for me to spend on her. What I did know for sure was that whether or not she was taking advantage of me, I would not like to be living her life. She had nothing. However, I came home from that experience mad and feeling stupid and when I told my husband about the ridiculous thing I did and how much money I spent doing it, all I could do was cry. He just laughed and smiled and said I did the right thing. He also reminded me that the Savior was taken advantage of all the time so why should I be any different. He reminded me that it's all about learning to listen to the Spirit and go and do even when you don't understand or don't want to. It's all about learning obedience. Nate calls it the slap the water approach. On Arrow when he was learning to shoot a bow he first learned to slap water to get arm strength. It seemed stupid and like it wouldn't work and he didn't want to do it. So anytime the Lord asks us to do something that seems stupid He is using the slap the water training. I know I get myself caught up in thinking that every time I do something good, warm squishes should accompany it. That's not how it works. I only felt good with the man from Costco because it was easy and he didn't want something. That's not very impressive. It's easy to give service to someone like that. It's much harder to serve the unlovable. 

Where was discernment used in these 2 stories? In my previous post I mostly talked about discernment as knowing truth and knowing between good and evil. There is also knowing what to do. How to interpret the revelation you are receiving. It's not just knowing good from evil, but knowing between good, better, and best options. I can list several examples from these two stories that involved discernment. It is such a vital muscle that we need to pray for and work to strengthen, and I'm grateful for the unique opportunities that the Lord gives me that help illustrate a principle that I've been trying to learn more about. Doing the right things isn't all sunshine and roses, but where it's leading you is. 

Discernment

I have been doing a lot of pondering on how to help someone acquire a testimony. There is so much in the world pulling people away from their testimonies and not allowing them to get to the next level which is conversion. I feel totally helpless and I beg and plead in my prayers all the time to know how and what to teach. One thing that I have noticed is something about Elder Bednar's talks is that he is not very quotable. He's pretty much all doctrine. I think some of what makes other apostles more popular is their quotability. But, here's the cool thing. While Elder Bednar may not be as quotable, I feel like the way he constructs his talks is like he's forming a key for the audience to pick up and use to unlock the door to understanding. You've got to be looking for meat when you are reading his talks. It's quite brilliant if you ask me. It's something I'm trying to learn how to do. I keep reminding myself that it likely took him years to perfect, and I can see a change in his style from his early years as an apostle to now. On a side note, I was reading a BYU talk by Elder Oaks today from 1981 about Revelation and it is completely different than the way he constructs a talk now. I could definitely see his lawyer structure from long ago- it was still awesome and on point though. So, we're all a work in progress.

Back to my topic. I'm not sure how I got on the trail that I'm on with discernment, all I know is that it is something that occupies a lot of my thoughts.  It recently occurred to me that it is the key to everything. It's foundational. It's something that should occupy some of your thoughts each time you go to the temple and anytime you talk about revelation. For me the two words are interchangeable. My last lesson of the year for my Sunday School class was this topic. I was losing half of them to aging up and I thought this was a good topic to leave them with.

What is discernment: To know truth. It is also a gift that we should seek after.

Why do we need it: with a world of fake news and technology that can make a video of a horse appear to be a zebra; it's hard to know the truth. How do you know who is lying to you, what things you should be doing with your time, who you should marry, what causes you should care about and spend time on, what school to go to, who's a false prophet, etc... You need discernment for everything. It's why we've been given this mortal journey.

Let's start in the beginning. Adam and Eve in the garden. Eve partook of the tree of knowledge of good and evil and then gave it to Adam to partake. Why did Eve partake of the fruit? We find out in Genisis 3

22 ¶ And the Lord God ^asaid, Behold, the ^bman is become as one of ^cus, to ^dknow good and ^eevil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

From this we learn our objective:

To be as the God's: knowing good and evil

The point of our journey here: To know good from evil so you know how to act. D&C 109:95

Knowing truth is knowing good from evil.

There are 3 categories in the topical guide: Discern, Discerner, Discernment Spiritual. Now Elder Bednar would tell you not to simply look up the references there to learn about it, but to take a copy of the Book of Mormon and find it yourself. That's awesome, but I think looking up references is also an effective first step. I can already think of lots of examples of people who used discernment in the scriptures. I'll take you through the one I took my Sunday School class through. It's found in 1 Nephi 4. It is Nephi slaying Laban. I picked this one because sometimes you're going to receive revelation to do something you don't feel comfortable doing, or that you're afraid to do, or it just seems to hard. You have to be able to know if it's revelation or not. 

Starting in verse 6:

6 And I was ^aled by the Spirit, not ^bknowing beforehand the things which I should do.

10 And it came to pass that I was ^aconstrained by the Spirit that I should kill Laban; but I said in my heart: Never at any time have I shed the blood of man. And I shrunk and would that I might not slay him.

11 And the Spirit said unto me again: Behold the ^aLordhath ^bdelivered him into thy hands. Yea, and I also knew that he had sought to take away mine own life; yea, and he would not hearken unto the commandments of the Lord; and he also had ^ctaken away our property.

12 And it came to pass that the Spirit said unto me again: Slay him, for the Lord hath delivered him into thy hands;

13 Behold the Lord ^aslayeth the ^bwicked to bring forth his righteous purposes. It is ^cbetter that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in ^dunbelief.

14 And now, when I, Nephi, had heard these words, I remembered the words of the Lord which he spake unto me in the wilderness, saying that: ^aInasmuch as thy seed shall keep my ^bcommandments, they shall ^cprosper in the ^dland of promise.

15 Yea, and I also thought that they could not keep the commandments of the Lord according to the ^alaw of Moses, save they should have the law.

16 And I also knew that the ^alaw was engraven upon the plates of brass.

17 And again, I knew that the Lord had delivered Laban into my hands for this cause—that I might obtain the records according to his commandments.

18 Therefore I did obey the voice of the Spirit, and took Laban by the hair of the head, and I smote off his head with his own ^asword.

I love this example. I think sometimes we read the scriptures and think the people in them had a different experience with revelation than we do. Like they always had someone literally standing there whether it be Christ himself or and angel telling someone what they were supposed to do. That's not how it works. Nephi perfectly lays out the pattern for acquiring discernment. He exemplified "Lord I believe, help thou my unbelief." His first instinct was to go where directed even though he had no plan or knowledge of what he was going to do. Then the spirit had to tell him 3 times what he needed to do and Nephi had doubts (it reminds me of when I had to be told 3 times to turn around and pick up a lady who was walking on the side of the road because it didn't seem like the right thing to do). It didn't seem like the right thing to do so he had to make sure. Then something happens. He remembers. Twice his mind went to remembering the promises of the Lord and His requirements for keeping the commandments. Nephi has to work out the difference between good and evil in his mind. After these things are brought to his remembrance he then and only then knows what he should do and then that knowledge turned to obedience and action. Isn't that a cool pattern? Isn't it also cool that you and I go through the exact same process that Nephi went through to receive revelation? To be able to discern what you need to do. What was super cool is that one of my students had shared a "fleck of gold" at the beginning of class about how she had been having a hard time with something and it came to her that she needed to read her patriarchal blessing; she did and it really helped.  I was able to tie her process back to Nephi's. 

There are three categories that I was able to put all the scripture references from discern, discerner, and discernment spiritual. Those three categories are: The benefits you receive from having discernment, what the requirements are for having it, what offenses are attached to it- the "woe unto" warnings. The largest category is the benefits. 

After going on this journey it would be for naught if something was gained or it produced no action. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

What lack I yet? What's one thing I can improve on that make the biggest difference? What is keeping me from progressing, What do I need to change.

We can also remember that we have covenanted to always have the Spirit with us. If we are to do that we need to not do anything to offend the Spirit. We have to stop thinking of things in terms of what does and does not offend us, but rather what will offend the Holy Ghost. 

I recently watched a show about someone who has been thought to have killed 3 people. They have never been able to know for certain if this woman did this or not. It had me thinking about our faith and trust in Jesus Christ. That he has no agenda. That he knows THE truth. Not the truth according to anyone. We have to have complete and total faith in the justice of our Heavenly Father. That we will be judged fairly and so will everyone else. That the truth of all things will be known. How completely comforting is that? How much peace does that knowledge bring into your life? 

Jesus Christ, (along with Heavenly father and the Holy Ghost) is the ultimate discerner. He can discern our thoughts, our hearts, and our intentions. We are under the same charge. If we are to be like the Savior and have his character traits, then we better learn to be discerners as well and the ability to know good from evil will become plain and simple. 

15 For behold, my brethren, it is given unto you to ^ajudge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night. Moroni 7

Better Hughs

This was already on my fb from 2 days ago, but it ties in more of the story from Ammon and Aaron so I wanted them both in the same place. 

My goal for 2018: Give better hugs. 
We’ve been studying Ammon and Aaron from the Book of Mormon in seminary. Their story is rich with application to our lives, but I was thinking of laying down our weapons of war. Specifically, keeping people at a distance. I think of it as a weapon of war because it’s not a character trait of the Savior. This picture was taken several years ago and the man giving me a hug was a complete stranger. His name is Tim and he was locally famous for having Down syndrome and owning a restaurant. Tim wanted to spread love and happiness. He didn’t care your political affiliation, your religion, what sports team you liked, if you had a grumpy disposition, unbearably shy, or narcissistic, you received a genuine hug that left you a better person. I imagine that’s the kind of hug our Savior gives. One that says; I see you, I hear you, and I’m here for you. We live in unstable and turbulent times where keeping people at a distance seems a necessity for survival. Giving hugs may soon be outlawed considering the social climate, but we cannot let the environment of the world keep us from fulfilling our covenants of mourning with and comforting others. To me a genuine hug is a physical manifestation of ‘I was a stranger and ye took me in.’ It’s taking people into your heart and filling it with the pure love of Christ. We can’t let the world divide us. So, if you’re in need of a real hug, seek me out. I’m going to do my best to get past the awkwardness and go in for a genuine hug, and not be the first to let go and hopefully one day I’ll have the same eyes with which to view my fellow man with as Tim and Jesus Christ

That is where the post ended. I will say that there will be plenty that will take this to the creepy level. My husband even joked with me about all the men that would take me up on the hug. My eyes were rolling. It's a shame that our world has become so sexualized. I get it. Har har. But if you're going to be a creep about getting a hug, then expect a punch to the face. I am a Gemini after all. This is a healing hug. It's also real hard to be mad at someone when you've just received or given this kind of hug. So start giving better hugs to people who aren't creeps and then use discernment for all others. Which leads me to mention; there is a post coming up on discernment.