I DIDN'T DO IT

She was crazy. She was different from every girl that I had ever been with. She was annoyingly honest which made her seem rude or disrespectful a lot of the time. I think that was what made me fall in love with her. She was a hot head. She was a feminist. She never failed to drive her point home whenever she felt backed up in a corner about anything that involved women’s rights. She unconsciously turned me into one. She loved life; she enjoyed drinking which made me fall in love with her more since it was my favorite pass time. She was everything I taught myself to run away from - only ironically, I was in love.

RAMBLINGS OF MONSIEUR PIERRE

`I wrote you something because every time I open my mouth, something stupid comes out and the words don't mean what I want them to mean, not even half of what I want them to mean`. He said standing in the walk way of the plane.

`So here, go ahead`. He hands her a piece of paper.

`Hank, I'm tired of reading you`. She said.

`Seriously? I thought I was your favorite author`. She picks up the book she was reading and then puts it to his face.

`That just means I'm going to have to read it to you…out loud`. He snatched the paper put of her hand.

`No….Hank stop it! Don't be stupid`.

He goes ahead with it irrespective.

Dear Karen - that's how it starts. I've been thinking about us…the story of us. How the fuck do I sum it all up. Has it been perfect? Hardly. Any story with me in the center of it would never be anything less than a big smiling mess.

TINU'S TALE - PART FOUR

When I woke up my mother and sister had left but Shola was there. He had cuddled up in the chair beside my bed and was deep in his sleep. That gave me enough time to think of what to say to him when he starts asking questions. There was some pain and discomfort in my stomach so I decided to sit up to find a more comfortable position to lay in. Wrong thing to do. I unconsciously put all my body weight on the already sore and swollen hand that the IV fluid was connected to. I screamed. I screamed so loud that all the nurses and doctors on the floor rushed to my bedside including Shola who scrambled out of the chair. One of the doctors examined me before administering some pain killers to ease the pain and discomfort and everybody was relieved to find out that it wasn’t anything life threatening.

COUNSELOR EDWARDS DIARY

It was now six months since the last time Dolapo and Ezinne spoke. They were married and had been living together for five years but for six months nobody said a word to the other person. Insane right? I thought so too. When Ezinne came to me to seek my counsel and told me about the situation of things in her marriage, I was engulfed with mixed feelings. I didn’t know whether to laugh, at the part where she said she would intentionally walk around the room naked after taking a shower and she would notice him twist and turn under the duvet trying to control his erection, or shout at her for allowing their children have to live under that condition, or sober up with her because somehow in the span of six months, the relationship they had managed to build together in seven years was breaking apart and nobody seemed bothered to fight for its survival. I am her counselor so it would be unprofessional of me to show any of these emotions.

TINU'S TALE - PART THREE

He lived in one of the high rise buildings on Bourdillon road Ikoyi. When we got there, he took me up the elevator to the 8^th floor and then we walked down the corridor to his apartment. The white walls of the sitting room was adorned by beautiful paintings and some Biafra artefacts, a few pictures of him, his siblings and his extended family but there was none of him with any woman or with any kids. So it was okay to rule out the thought of him being married. He then led me to master bedroom where he handed me a clean white towel, a doll dress and under wear to change into. I was surprised. What man keeps feminine underwear?

“Err.....Chibuzor who owns these things and why do you have them in your possession?” I queried.

He looked at me and smiled “I bought them for days like this. You wouldn’t want to go to bed wearing the same underwear you had on all day would you? Especially after our little extra vocational activity”. He mused.

“So every girl you bring to your slaughter house ends up leaving with souvenirs in the form of underwear and dresses? Interesting”

TINU'S TALE - PART TWO

“Shouldn’t you be working?” Chibuzor whispered into my ear.

“Oh no! Not you again.” I grumbled as I sat up and saw him sitting on my desk.

“Please leave my office, I’m trying to work.” I said yawning, as I laid my head back on the desk to continue sleeping. He gave out a sarcastic laugh.

“Are you working or sleeping? Don’t forget I’m your supervisor. If you keep up this way, then I’d be forced to write you a query and then ask management to demote you since you’re starting to act like the job is too big for you to handle”.

I sat back up immediately. “Excuse me Mr Supervisor! Last I remember, this is my office and whatever I decide to do in it isn’t your business or anybody’s. And I would want to believe that in your report to management, you’d explain in detail how you pounced on an innocent woman and defiled her in her office”.

TINU’S TALE

When he came back into the room, I swear I could feel my soul leave my body. I was sitting in the top corner of the bed, my head in my legs…crying, terrified and visibly shaking. He paced around the room murmuring to himself and I knew how vicious he could get should he hear me utter any words so I decided to keep to myself and make silent prayers that nothing infuriates him further to make him hit me again. After a while the pacing stopped and when I put up my head, and he was gone. I heaved a big sigh of relief and stretched out my legs only to see him reappear, wielding a bag that he swung at me.

“There’s a dress and shoe in the bag, get dressed we have a party to attend”.

“Oh! Snap”. I remembered we had been invited to a friend’s cook out dinner, that I wished I could pass on, but I wasn’t ready to get into another fight with Shola. Sigh.

My eyes were swollen, and they hurt badly each time I tried to blink. I could barely move any part of my body without feeling pains, but I managed to get up and walk towards the bathroom. Shola stood there by the door watching me writhe in pain as I got out of bed without showing any type of emotion.

So we would attend this party keeping up appearances? Acting like everything is good when in reality our household is on fire?  

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

I really can’t remember anything about my childhood - from the day I was born till when I was five, but my mother always says I had it good, even better than my siblings. She worked with an airline company and most of the time if not all the time, she would have someone coming in on a flight into the country or leaving on another flight so I got gifts in cash and kind including an array of nice toys. Dad had just started working in a bank and he too got me a few nice toys.

THE PARKVIEW MURDER - TOLANI`S TALE

`Do you mind if I join you? ` A voice hovered over my head as I sipped on my sex on the beach cocktail. Whoever it was had a sweet, sensual baritone voice that almost made me choke on my drink. I dropped the glass cup to look up and right in front of me was this Adonis. I slipped into a reverie instantly. This man was an epitome of beauty, literally - from his well cut hair to his perfectly tailored blazer, the nice watch on his wrist and not to mention how suave he was. Yummy.

It took me about thirty seconds to size him up and I was rather very impressed - he didn’t seem like the regular kind of guy. I tried to get my act together, but this body of beauty wouldn’t let me; he had me speechless. Oh yes his eyes, I’m sure it was his eyes that captivated me he had the most beautiful eyes ever..... and his lips? Gosh, I could suck on them all day and not get tired. He was the most handsome looking man I had ever seen and all I wanted to do was rip his clothes apart. My daydream ended after he waved his hand in my face to get my attention and I immediately snapped out of my reverie. I’m sure he could tell that I was charmed by his looks and that made it even more difficult to turn down his request, so of course I allowed him join me on the table. What right thinking lady would turn down a man like that........certainly not me?

TWISTED 2

He hurriedly put on his pyjama pants with a stern look on his face as he exited the room. I was too shocked to utter any words and could only sit and watch him leave while I buried my head in his semen infested magazine. It was not long before he walked back into the room, smoking a cigarette and clutching a bottle of Hennessy.

He most definitely chose the wrong night to mess with me.

I glanced up at him, our eyes fixated on each other as he puffed out his cigarette and gave me the – Gbemi I don’t care what you do or say look. No, no, no, no I can’t take this.......this can’t be happening to me. I swung the magazine at him and followed it up with the television  and air condition remote controls on the side stool and the pillows on the bed. Before he could regain balance I had crawled up to where he stood and started to hit him on the face as hard as I could. He was too intoxicated to do anything and by this time he had staggered a few times, lost balance and fell to the ground. I sat on his chest and grabbed the bottle of Hennessy from his hands.