I said, "Not thinking. I decided not to think now. Not enough knowledge, not enough experience. Let me take a break. Enough of mental toll for now."
Running away of problems. Pfft...
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Friday, July 12, 2013
FML
Life in Penang was very challenging in the beginning to the extend that I thought it was a bad decision. Boyfie came down every other weekend but I needed to work through the weekends. On top of that, he was shoo-ed because of not 'actively' spending. Things that I did was never right. It's always not good enough or not meeting expectation.
Very damaging to the morale and self-esteem.
Once June was over, there was a sudden rush of compliments and acknowledgements which was, of course, flattering. Crazily enough, that was also the time when things went haywire on the other side. I was torn again for not being able to help. Again, I wrote the same letter and I planned to leave.
It became very heavenly.
I was actually moved. I wanted to stay but I wanted to leave too. I lost it. I don't know what to think anymore and I still have no idea...
Very damaging to the morale and self-esteem.
Once June was over, there was a sudden rush of compliments and acknowledgements which was, of course, flattering. Crazily enough, that was also the time when things went haywire on the other side. I was torn again for not being able to help. Again, I wrote the same letter and I planned to leave.
It became very heavenly.
I was actually moved. I wanted to stay but I wanted to leave too. I lost it. I don't know what to think anymore and I still have no idea...
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Bad Timing
I wished and it is now granted. Bad timing. Now that I have you, I wish I didn't make that wish.
The first step is always the hardest. Ours was't merry and easy. Not at all convenient. When we eventually move forward, I decided that you're the one.
I put my all in you because I trust you. I want you to have the same for me because that will determine if this will stay. If we made it through, we can be anything we want to be.
In two weeks or less, I will be at least 3 hours away from you. In two weeks, we will be under the test. Think of the things that we could have after this; the life that we will lead and the overflowing happiness between us.
The first step is always the hardest. Ours was't merry and easy. Not at all convenient. When we eventually move forward, I decided that you're the one.
I put my all in you because I trust you. I want you to have the same for me because that will determine if this will stay. If we made it through, we can be anything we want to be.
In two weeks or less, I will be at least 3 hours away from you. In two weeks, we will be under the test. Think of the things that we could have after this; the life that we will lead and the overflowing happiness between us.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Boyfie
I meant to do this earlier for you, boyfie. There are many things that I want to say and do for you. Give me a little time and I will show you the things that we can do together.
Taking the baby steps. Today, I dedicate this space for you because I want you to have it. Of course, you deserve it.
The day you poured your feeling to me is also the very first day I put my first step onto this path. For the rest of the journey, I chose to walk with you. On 28th February 2013, I trust us.
Be yourself, boyfie. That is the one thing that I want from you. If you need to change anything about yourself, let it be the your weight :D Listen to us! If we are meant to be, we will be. No matter what they say, you and I belong together. For the many many many days to come.
Confidence is of scarce. Let's have an adventure. Rocky or sandy; painful or sorrowful; it will only be fulfilling because I have you. Fill this cup of mine and I will do the same for you. No condition, no compromise. Just the way it was, is and will be.
Boyfie, keep me with you in whatever you do. My prayers are with you and between us, we have the Higher source which we embrace. It was through prayers, I had that vision. Fulfilling my own prophecy? Perhaps.
I am happy. Never mind the friction. Never mind the past.
Lots of love,
Cat
Taking the baby steps. Today, I dedicate this space for you because I want you to have it. Of course, you deserve it.
The day you poured your feeling to me is also the very first day I put my first step onto this path. For the rest of the journey, I chose to walk with you. On 28th February 2013, I trust us.
Be yourself, boyfie. That is the one thing that I want from you. If you need to change anything about yourself, let it be the your weight :D Listen to us! If we are meant to be, we will be. No matter what they say, you and I belong together. For the many many many days to come.
Confidence is of scarce. Let's have an adventure. Rocky or sandy; painful or sorrowful; it will only be fulfilling because I have you. Fill this cup of mine and I will do the same for you. No condition, no compromise. Just the way it was, is and will be.
Boyfie, keep me with you in whatever you do. My prayers are with you and between us, we have the Higher source which we embrace. It was through prayers, I had that vision. Fulfilling my own prophecy? Perhaps.
I am happy. Never mind the friction. Never mind the past.
When you were even skinner back then
Sorta our first date
The first milestone
Remember these? :D
Lots of love,
Cat
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Hey there
Words were exchanged and finally, we had the ultimatum.
It felt like it had been forever. It was those memories that kept me awake some of the nights.
Because of you, I kept myself away. As silly as it sounds, I was waiting and expecting. While it did not happen, another door opened for me. Warm and welcoming.
Ever since that day, everything became clear. I found another way to lead a meaningful life.
Glad that WE happened. Glad that WE had a past that I can remember.
Love was almost the only thing we had.
It felt like it had been forever. It was those memories that kept me awake some of the nights.
Because of you, I kept myself away. As silly as it sounds, I was waiting and expecting. While it did not happen, another door opened for me. Warm and welcoming.
Ever since that day, everything became clear. I found another way to lead a meaningful life.
Glad that WE happened. Glad that WE had a past that I can remember.
Love was almost the only thing we had.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
"The best I had and ever will have"
Nothing is ever good enough for we are engineered in the manner to strive for more, the best and the most. What we don't know is that there's no end to it.
"The best I had and ever will have"
Given that you know you own the greatest of all, will you still let it go? Why? Searching for something 'fresh'? Something that give you more pride? Or it's not really the best after all?
I can only say that it could be better. Damage has been done and forever it will stay damaged. Words were sharp and harsh. So be it. Honestly, I don't remember those anymore.
Love binds and separates. How ironic.
"If you love me, maybe you should let me go"
Maybe.
"The best I had and ever will have"
Given that you know you own the greatest of all, will you still let it go? Why? Searching for something 'fresh'? Something that give you more pride? Or it's not really the best after all?
I can only say that it could be better. Damage has been done and forever it will stay damaged. Words were sharp and harsh. So be it. Honestly, I don't remember those anymore.
Love binds and separates. How ironic.
"If you love me, maybe you should let me go"
Maybe.
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