Jenny: But if I did that, it would be a stupid waste of time, don't you think?
Abby: Don't say stupid, Mommy! Remember we talked about making red choices and green choices?
Jenny: You're right; I'm sorry. That's not a nice word.
Abby has a "pet" leaf that she named "Rooney." Well, I should say that she had a pet leaf: it has since disintegrated. Evidently pet leaves in our family don't fair any better than pet goldfish.
Maggie: Only kids from 1 to 92 get Christmas presents, so poor President Nelson doesn't get any.
Abby: Is this hot chocolate healthy because it has coffee in it?
Abby: Mommy, the moon looks like the Treasure Cat's mouth from Alice in Wonderland!
During our Capitol Reef vacation, Evy woke up in the middle of the night worried—nay, terrified—we had a rat in out hotel room:
Evy: There's a rat in here!!!
Jenny: It's not a rat. It's just Abby sucking her fingers.Evy: But what if it's actually a rat?
Alan: It's not. I promise.
Evy: But what if it actually is?
It's struck me as terribly funny at 3:00 in the morning. I found myself shaking and crying with laughter. In fairness to Evelyn, Abby sort of did sound like a rat.
Evy: British is the easiest language. I know almost all the words.
Abby: Someday, when we're all really old, we'll die and then live with Jesus. I want to give Jesus a hug when I live with him.
Abby: Bats eat spiders for dinner. Do you think they eat eyeballs for dessert?
Abby: Is Baby Yoda an animal? [I should note that she used to call him Baby Oda.]
Jenny: Yeah, I guess he sort of is.
Abby: Then can we go to the pet store and get a real Baby Yoda?!
Abby: Evy's looking at me!
Evy: No, I'm not!
Abby: Yes, you are!
Alan: Evy, please stop looking at her.
Evy: I'm not even looking over at her: I'm facing straight forward!
Abby: But her ear is looking at me!
The Amazon Echo has a daily Jeopardy challenge, which features the distinctive voice of the late great Alex Trebek. Abby asked Jenny whether Alex was "Mr. Alexa."
Abby: Mommy, I'm sorry, but I accidentally ate some cookies while you were gone.
Alan: Abby, are you ready for your bath?
Abby: No, thanks.
Alan: [After blinking three or four times] Well, what I really meant was it's time to take a bath, so please get ready now.
I found myself saying this to Abby at the start of dinner: Abby, you can't eat a hamburger while you're wearing dirty socks on your hands.
Abby: Mommy, there are three New York Cities! There's the real one where Marilyn and Johnny live, there's the one on Buddy the Elf, and there's the one on this movie!" (The kids were watching Home Alone 2.)
Abby: Grandma, what do you look like without your mask? I forgot.
Jenny: Remember how I taught you today to say yellow?
Abby: Yuh yuh yeyow.
Jenny: Try again.
Abby: Yuh yuh lellow.
Alan: Can you say "yell"?
Abby: [Yelling] Yell!
Alan: Now say yell-oh.
Abby: Lello. Daddy, I guess I don't know how to speak lellow language yet. [I am proud to report that as of this writing, Abby can say yellow correctly.]
When Jenny and Jared were shoveling the sidewalk, Jenny counseled him to someday purchase a south-facing house. Ours is not, so we get a lot more ice than do our neighbors across the street: "Yeah, the driveway is always cleaner on the other side, huh Mom?" [Grass is always greener. Driveway is always cleaner. Get it?]
When I didn't answer a question to Abby's satisfaction, she made this helpful observation: "Sometimes big daddies don't always have big brains."
Abby: I spy with my little eye something that is skinny.
Alan: And what would that be?
Abby: Daddy!
Abby asked this question after we watched Soul as a family: Mommy, do we get to see our spirits when we die?
Jenny: Yes.
Abby: I hope my spirit has curly hair!
Abby: Why does Mowgli wear only underwear?
Alan: That is a valid question. [I still don't have the answer.]
We played "Chutes and Ladders" today:
Abby: Daddy, when is this game going to be over?
Alan: Um, right? Hey, I have an idea: Let's go up both the slides and the ladders!
Jenny: That sounds like a great way to play that game.
While Abby and I were playing a card game:
Abby: I get to go first because I'm younger.
Alan: Fair enough.
Abby: You're really old, Dad.
Alan: It's true.
Abby: And you need to be careful so that you don't get too old!
Jenny: What does "daddy" start with?
Abby: Daddy starts with "A": Alan!
Sweet Evy spontaneously decided she wanted to give away some of her toys "so that poor people could have them." She immediately regretted her decision and was literally in tears! I told her no one was making her give them away and that Jenny and I would handle charitable giving on behalf of our family. The poor girl had her first experience with both survivors guilt and donors remorse—all in one day! I'm happy to report that Evy's kitties are safe and sound in her room, and I'm proud of her for being kind and for thinking of others—even though she ultimately didn't donate her toys. 🙂
Abby: Maybe Mickey and Minnie are Mexican—because I just heard them speak Spanish on Disney Plus.
Abby: Surgery is when people see your blood when it gets chopped off.
Jared: [Groggily] Good morning.
Jenny: Well, look what the cat dragged in!
Abby: [With a certain degree of alarm] What's a cat dragon?!
Abby: There are big bottles floating in the lake!
Jenny: Oh, those are called buoys.
Abby: BOOBIES!?!
Maggie: No, they're called poopies!
Abby: Mommy, do we get water from lakes?
Jenny: Well, kind of. We get water from rain that goes to the lakes. And then it goes somewhere called a water treatment plant.
Abby: And then we pick the treatment plant to have our water.
Jenny: Yes, something like that.
Jared has managed to convince the girls to call him "Emperor." On New Years Eve, Abby proposed an unprompted sparkling grape juice toast: "To the Emperor!" Jenny and I looked at each other, shrugged, and raised a glass to Emperor Jared's continued health and prosperity.
