your humorous post has delighted me. i will now absorb it into my dark crystal

what the hell happens in ffxiv

having a cat is so miraculous. this little guy wants to sleep in my bed with me and purr on my chest. it’s his favorite hobby. no one told him to do that he just Loves His Mommy

nevermind he’s extremely naughty and has terrorized multiple people this morning

oh yeah i had a fucked up dream about animal crossing where they released a new game and one of the features that was added in response to the criticism that the villagers were too bland in new horizons was that each villager had a personal quest you could do to learn more about them as individuals and it would usually be something pretty heartfelt but simple bevause there's like 400 of those cunts to account for. but i was doing gaston's quest and his quest was that he needed to have a drink delivered to him as fast as possible. like you literally only had 10 seconds to find him to deliver him this drink. if you delivered it in time he would just be like "oh thanks i really needed that" and all would be good. but if you failed to find him in time the next time you interacted with him he would literally fucking kill himself by drinking bleach in front of you with the game screen turning to static and then showing close ups of him slowly dying and choking and in agony. and them for the next day everybody would be "shame what happened to gaston :(" but would never comment on what the fuck happened and would move on the day after that. tje game would act like he just moved away. i've never even had gaston in any of my animal crossing towns in any of the games so idek why my dream singled him out to have this fucked up event?? i have no opinions on this guy i forget he exists most of the time??? and he fucking looks like this

told my flatmate about my dream and he said "i hope he becomes one of your favourites because of this so you will always be reminded of him viscerally dying in front of you" ??????? DUDE???????

Terrible spot for a pop-up camp

the thing about being nonbinary is that you really do start to forget that other people have such strict walls around what is and isn’t allowed for genders. i thought we all agreed that we made that up. could you climb out of the cave real quick and feel the sunshine for a minute.

Sounbchbob

He’s so cool

why are dudes in fanfic always getting hit with freight train orgasms. why not an orient express orgasm, classy and romantic. where are the shinkansen train orgasms? his orgasm hit him like the TGV atlantique breaking the passenger rail speed record. like the shanghai maglev, his orgasm was a feat of engineering but something of a commercial disappointment.

#his orgasm hit him like a Deutsche Bahn ICE#so delayed that he almost thought it would never arrive#also there was a Bordbistro-Gutschein

@jofngve how dare you leave this in the tags

saw this post and couldnt like it cus i guess im blocked by them but honestly this is a hilarious way to find out