25 years old, white, transfeminine, (essentially) genderfluid.
I’m a dissociative system, i.e. I meet the criteria for DID, though I mostly use that label as a shorthand. I am relatively open about my experiences with this on this blog. Personal posts may appear contradictory at different times.
I am a composer, artist, writer, and programmer, currently working on an RPG entitled Sunspun.
I support the prison abolition, mad liberation, fat liberation, and antizionist movements. I am highly critical of psychiatry.
I don’t participate in queer identity label discourse or syscourse. All I will say is that I believe that people know more about what’s going on in their own mind than I ever could, and I would never accuse another person of lying about their experiences.
General content warning for potentially untagged discussion of abuse and trauma.
Posts may contain sexual themes.
Check out the soundtrack album for the first act of my work-in-progress RPG, Sunspun:
this video did make me think a lot about how much i compulsively look at my phone for no real benefit tho. like checking social media that much does actually irritate me more than it brings me any kind of happiness or fulfilment. and i definitely should stop looking at it so much when i’m lying in bed. that’s a huge reason why i fall asleep so late every night, and why it takes me so long to get going in the morning. i’m not a luddite or anything but it’s clearly a thing that i just do because i’m used to doing it rather than actually wanting to do it
watched the new eddy burback video and found myself getting jealous about something as basic as “having friends who live in your city and call you to invite you to hang out with them in person.” like fuuuck that’s gotta feel nice
if i were a woman, i would tweet “ginger snapped so jennifer could body”, but i’m not a woman, and i don’t use twitter, and i haven’t seen jennifer’s body, and i don’t make a lot of money or have a car or look nice
and i don’t dress well or know how to tie any knots besides the regular one you tie your shoes with. my taste in music is lacking and i need a haircut
thank you, person i share a discord server with, for dropping a link to a news story in the lgbt channel about some transphobic shit that happened and then dipping without offering any kind of productive commentary on it. you’ve successfully made my night worse and i haven’t learned anything new. i hope you got some kind of perverse kick out of that, otherwise i have no clue why you did it
like yea you shouldn’t stick your head in the sand but if you’re sharing a news story in a community space you should ask yourself if there’s a constructive reason to share it or if you’re just foisting your own sense of doom and helplessness onto other people for no purpose
thank you, person i share a discord server with, for dropping a link to a news story in the lgbt channel about some transphobic shit that happened and then dipping without offering any kind of productive commentary on it. you’ve successfully made my night worse and i haven’t learned anything new. i hope you got some kind of perverse kick out of that, otherwise i have no clue why you did it
that does it. youve pissed me Off for the last time, [opens my blog and starts browsing the #dragons tag]
fuck i can’t believe i wasted my entire life being moved by art and beauty and the indomitable human spirit ugh i should’ve been making money through internet scams
i think a loving thing u can do for yourself before a solo trip is to have a line item in ur budget, as critical and untouchable as Plane Tickets and Lodging, called Stupid. this money cannot be used for anything other than bailing u out of stupid situations
sometimes the Stupid moments are obvious like “my designated in-bag phone charger™️ is missing and my phone’s dying” or “i can’t find the goddamn bus stop it’s getting really late”, but sometimes they’re small like “huh the food at this bar i wanted to go to is pretty expensive”. the temptation to do the risky but cheap thing (walking around with a dead phone, getting lost, drinking on an empty stomach) over the expensive but safe thing (buy another charger at the closest shop, call a cab, pay too much for some mid-ass chicken gyozas bc though you do want to try the signature local beer it’s been a minute since you ate anything) is mitigated. it’s fine, u can assure yourself. take it out of the Stupid Budget
[ID: Four animated gifs of Kermit the Frog driving a golf cart around a parking lot while talking to the camera: “Sometimes, when I’m really frustrated and need to clear my head, I just get into my golf cart and floor it around the lot. Speed limit’s 5 miles per hour, but I’ll go 6 or 7. I don’t care.” End ID.]
