So… All those years ago when, for better or worse, I joined this damned site I chose my name thinking it was just so the system would use it to identify me when I signed in, like a banking username and password. I did not realise it would be your handle that EVERYONE would see. 🙄 I never did get into the habit of reading terms and conditions.

Crabeyes cos after yet another day wasted/ enjoyed endlessly scrolling through the delights of everyone’s blogs, my eyes felt they were on stalks. Angry cos yet again I had not got down to proper Life stuff but once more had been waylaid into the Goblin’s Market that is Tumblr.

Always a sucker for bad puns, it became the “Angrycrabeyes of Laura Mars.” Sideblogs followed -

return-of-angrycrabeyes aka “Angrycrabeyes Wide Shut”“ is all cultured and high falutin. Art and fashion shit.

Revenge-of-angeycrabeyes aka "Beauty is in the angrycrabeyes of the Beholder” is an anthropological study of pretty mens that one day will spawn a legitimate thesis and doctorate and is in no way gratuitous and pervy.

Child-of-angrycrabeyes or “Sinbad and the angrycrabeyes of the Tiger” is political stuff where you can find my unrelenting support of trump and musk et al, there isn’t an S big enough to tag this with. @#&$%!!! to quote the Asterix cartoons.

Bride-of-angrycrabes or “The Hills have angrycrabeyes” is writing ideas.

Eviltwin-of-angrycrabeyes - “The angrycrabeyes of the Storm” is character art.

Roommate-of-angrycrabeyes ( “Something something eyes,” I was running out of ideas here, any suggestions always welcome) is health, recipes and computers stuff.

Roadwife-of-angrycrabeyes is alt history - gay, black, native peoples, feminist etc.

I have thought about changing my name but I was raised to stick by your decisions in life come what may. So like a bad tattoo of your youth or a loveless marriage you’re both sitting out to see who dies first, I’m sticking with crabeyes. Plus it spooks me when people change their names as I briefly panic that a beloved mutual has gone.

Hellsite though it is, I LOVE the sheer freaking weirdery of Tumblr handles, they’re unlike anywhere else. And give you no damn clue whatsoever. So killbotscuzzlickr will be into decoupage and kittens. And fluffyrainbowpup will be into Death Metal and vore. And I especially love when you type into the search engine, even though you’ve made a typo that makes it nonsensical, it’ll STILL give you somebody who has that actual misspelled name.

I don’t expect anybody to take this up, but I would be fascinated to know how people came up with their own Tumblr personas and the weird ass logic we use to come up with them. ???