delusions of grandeur but like. as a kink.
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That part was easy. Imagining purity, imagining walking into a new life clean, imagining answering the pain of loss with losing even the reason to care. The hard part came with the world outside of his mind and all the rules that had to be followed. He had to survive and to take joy from living. Any long term plans had to be tossed aside to keep the fire burning in the present.
Alternatively; the long and turbulent process of relationships, distance and Astarion getting his undeath un-done. With complications