Chapter Text
“Omg, okay, we’re here, we’re actually here!” Peter screamed, jumping up and down with glee.
“Alright there kid, calm it down” James laughed, pulling him back down before anyone noticed the kid was jumping just a little too high.
“Look! Look! That’s the mechanics building, come on mum!”
“Okay, okay, I'm coming!” Toni called, trying her best to keep up with her boy. Approaching the steps of the lab department, she felt a reassuring hand on her back, as James helped her to the top safely.
“Mum! Hurry up! We're gonna miss the demonstrations!” Peter's ecstatic voice called from the door.
It was MIT’s very own open day and Peter was desperate to see all the places his mum once lived in. it had only been a couple of weeks since the unspoken attack, and Toni was still taking it slow, with the aid of Bucky and Peter. Rhodey would be ready to try on his new legs any day now and the whole family was excited to finally be out of the tower.
“Ready for the grand tour?” Toni asked, wrapping her hand around Bucky's arm.
Carrying through into the building, Peter was already fixated on the demonstrations, it was a new Ai powered health bot, it scanned a person to relay their health, designed for use in waiting rooms and reception desks.
After that, the three walked through the other labs, Toni pointing out her favorite nap spots and reminiscing over her old work. Peter loved every minute of it, absorbing the stories with wide eyes.
After the labs, the tours took them around the communal areas, like the cafe, gym, and library on campus, before allowing people to wander around the accommodation.
“Aaa, I'm pretty sure I put that stain there… memories”, Toni smiled, looking at the discolored tiles outside Fromans Hall.
Bucky simply grimaced but gave Peter a smile when the boy swiveled around.
“So what ya think? You wanna come here?” James asked, waving his hands to the buildings in the distance.
“Yea I mean, it's cool”
“That doesn't sound as excited as before” Toni stated, giving him a look.
“Yea well, I like it, I think it could be cool, but it's a bit far away” Peter pouted.
Toni and James shared a knowing look. “You know time isn't a problem, the iron maiden suits can get you home in minutes, and it's a chance for you to have some independence” His mum smiled, resting a hand on his shoulder.
Peter looked up with a hint of worry, “I know, but what if I'm not ready?”
“In your own time okay?” She smiled, pulling him in for a hug.
…
Ned had been trying to focus all class, this was their final year, the first exams were only a couple of months away and for some reason, his best friend just couldn't stop squirming.
“Dude” he whispered, aiming his disapproval at Peter's desk.
Peter stopped tapping his pencil for a millisecond, looking in Ned's direction with a confused expression.
“I almost failed this class last year, would you shut up?” Ned syed, making sure he hadn't found the teacher's attention.
Peter looked down at his books, unopened. “Sorry” he whispered, slouching in his chair but dropping the pencil to Ned’s pleasure.
Finally able to refocus on the class, he started to listen to what the teacher was saying next, only for a loud ringing to suddenly sound.
The whole class turned around and the teacher stopped, glaring at the two. Peter was jumping out of his desk in a panic, apologizing as he grabbed at his bag for his phone.
“Peter Parker, is that your phone going off in my class?” the teacher shouted, throwing their chalk stick down on the desk. “I'll remind you, phones are not permitted in my room, please hand it over”
Peter gave a panicked look, grabbing his bag and heading towards the door, the phone still ringing. “Sorry, I gotta take this!” he shouted, letting the door swing shut behind him.
From the hallway, the class could hear Peter answering his phone, a long silence, in which the room stayed still before a relieved laugh filled the hall.
The teacher, now mildly furious, opened the door to Peter leaning against the lockers with a smile as bright as the sun on his face.
Ned would later find out that Toni’s scans had finally come back, she was officially pregnant and the baby was in perfect health.
…
Toni had to keep reminding herself that a lot of things were different this time. Her body was older, more tired, and eaten by age. She had wrinkles this time, predominantly from too much stress, not to mention everything to do with the arc reactor and her most recent attack. The unspoken attack. She shuddered at the thought. Steve's rage was like no other, she had been attacked countless times, used and abused by men her entire youth it felt, but nothing was more terrifying than knowing captain America was holding nothing back. She found herself doubting again, doubting her worth, her brains, your tech. What if it hadn't been good enough? What if the suit hadn’t held? What if she hadn't pulled the face plate up in time? Or rolled at the last second? What if she only used 50% power, thinking he would do the same? There were too many possibilities, so many scenarios that she barely prevented. And if she hadn't, Peter, Rhodey, happy, pepper. They would all hate her for leaving them alone. James… Where would he go? To Steve? Steve wouldn't tell him, not after the video. Steve knew what she kept from him, killing her would have been a foolproof way to get his friend back, with no one else to witness. Bucky and Steve, running off into the sunset.
She grimaced, her mind was playing such cruel games with her, making her question other's emotions, what-ifs, and end games. But she was alive, and Steve wasn't here asking for Bucky, he was hiding.
Reaching down to hold her belly, she smiled at the hope it brought. She was starting to show, even with baggy clothes. She remembered around this size last time, she would have been hiding out in Malibu, not allowing any paparazzi near, for fear that someone would find out. The paparazzi weren't going to see her this time either, but at least she wasn't hiding out alone. James was staying close, every time she wobbled, or went to grab something, he was there. When he held her, he was as gentle as could be, so afraid he would hurt her if he held her any tighter.
Currently, however, he was a bit distracted, as Toni layed on the sofa looking at her phone. James had been reading the instructions for a crib for almost half an hour, trying to understand the small black-and-white drawings. They had got the crib shipped in and with the worry of anyone realizing what the new furniture meant, they had got it all flat packed.
“So you can build an engine but screwing some wood is a little outside your skill set?” Toni laughed, as Bucky threw the booklet down for the 10th time.
Scowling, bucky chimed back, “managed to screw you”
“Twice, apparently, yet baby cribs, still a no,” she chimed back with a smirk.
Pulling his hair behind his ears, he gave out a playful sigh. “You could always come and help” he bit back, only for his face to morph into worry then Toni started to sit up. “Don't you even think about it!”
“Make up your mind, am I a delicate little flower.. Or the iron maiden” Toni smiled, swinging her legs back onto the sofa.
“You're a delicate little iron maiden” he grinned, “and one day maybe my wife” he whispered, refocusing on the instructions. Toni raised her brow, not hearing him from the other side of the room. “Found anything nice?” he asked
“Mmm, a couple, but they're all a bit far” she called back, continuing to swipe down her phone.
“Far? From what?” bucky asked with a frown,
“MIT, New York.. “ she hummed, waving off the look she was sent.
“You're as bad as him, you have a suit that can get you around the world in a couple of hours, you don't need to worry,” he said, standing up and walking over.
“Yea I know, but he's my boy, and he's growing up really really fast James, and I'm gonna miss- “
“You're not gonna miss anything, beautiful, if anything, you're gonna be hacking the security footage on his campus and watching his every move” he smiled, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her shoulders. At the noise of her uncertainty, he nuzzled his nose into the neck, offering her a light kiss on the collarbone.
“Not a bad idea.. “ she whispered to herself
Bucky scrunched his face, “Toni, you know you can’t actually.. “
“I know” she whined, throwing her hands up to run them through his hair. “I'm just going to miss him”
“I know, I'm gonna miss him too,” Bucky smiled, leaning in for a proper kiss.
“Hey, mum! I'm gonna go Neds!” Peter's voice called out from down the hall, the two turned just in time to see him walking in with his backpack ready to go.
“Okay sweetie, say hi for me, stay safe!” Toni called out, leaning over the back of the sofa.
“Will do” the boy chimed back.
James watched him leave out of earshot, before pulling Toni back towards him.
“You've got to tell him eventually “ he pointed.
Toni looked down at her phone, the screen showing a log house in the woods, with a lake by the side. “I know, just not yet” she smiled sadly.
…
For Peters 18th, Toni wasn't feeling well. The baby inside her was making her feel horrible and after much backchat, the woman retired to her bed for the day. Peter had exams to study for so it wasn't like they were going to have an all-out party anyway. Around noon, James came into Peter's room to bring him some food, hanging around to help him with some questions before they joined Toni by her bedside to give Peter his card and blow out his candles on a small spiderman themed cake that was very obviously homemade by James. Icing dripping off the sides, Peter went in to cut a slice.
Him and Toni reminisced about past birthdays, where pepper and Rhodey would go all out, with presents and sweets and trips. It seemed nicer to do simple things now, with all the action and dramatics their family had had.
As Toni yawned, The two men excused themselves from the room to let her rest, Peter going back to his room and James heading to the kitchen. James was nestled into the sofa, scrolling on his tablet at properties Toni had sent him; they were all very isolated and hidden, something both him and Toni desperately wanted. The penthouse they lived in that perched them high above the streets, was far too central to the action for them, and with Peter going to university, it was a time for them to move on as well.
Snuggling deeper into the cushions, he swore he heard a glass clanking echo from the corridor, raising an eyebrow, he listened closely.
A small creek made its way to his super soldier ears and he grinned. Bingo.
"Peter.." he called
There was a moment of silence before a defeated sigh came from the dark.
with rubber soles squelching on the tiled floor, the birthday boy appeared with a rather misshapen backpack on his back.
"your mum know your heading out?" James asked, giving a questioning look to the bag.
"yea, yea no I just.. no-Yes.." Peter squirmed, "no" he eventually signed
"where you heading?"
"just a pa- Spider-Man things."
James smirked, "whos party? come on, spill kid"
"just some guys from school.. so I can go?" Peter asked, confused.
James thought for a moment then shook his head, "Sure, Your 18, enjoy it while you can kid"
Peter beamed, "Really? Thanks dad!" heading down the hall.
"Wait a minute" James called, "What's in the bag first" waving his hand for peter to bring over the bag.
Swiveling around Peter's face dropped in uncertainty again.
with James pointed stare, peter took the bag off his back, opening it up for James to see.
On inspection, the super soldiers' eyes widened a moment, three bottles of whiskey, definitely taken from tonis stash in the lab.
"kid, Have you ever drank before?"
".. no"
"They got to learn on their own James" he signed to himself. before waving peter to close the bag.Standing up straight, he flicked to soljer mode "Be careful, never drink or take anything anyone offers you, okay!"
"Yes sir!" Peter saluted back, the smile returning to his face.
"look after your self and make sure your back befor the morning, unless its too unsafe and the place your staying is safe, okay?" James relayed, as Peter pulled the bag back on his back. "call me if anything happens, and never be afraid to call about someone else, look out for your friends"
"Got it-"
"And again, never take anything anyone gives you"
"yea, i know-"
"and take a thicker coat, Alcohol will make you cold"
"Dad!" Peter huffed, already half way down the corrider "Im Spiderman!"
"AND DONT GO TELLING PEOPLE YOUR SPIDERMAN!" james shouted towards him.
Peter waved his arms in aspiratuon, befor tapping the lift button to take him down.
"and peter.." James called, the lift doors pinging open.
Peter tuned, makeing his way into the lift, "Yes.."
James smiled, "don't forget to have fun!" Catching his son’s grin befor the doors closed.
waiting until the lift lights showed there arrival to the ground floor, James headed towards Toni and his room, opening the door to see her sitting up in bed on her phone.
Crawling onto the bed, he arranged himself for her to nestle into. looking at her screen, He saw a whole new search result for forest cabins.
"how you feeling?" he eventuly asked, putting his hand to her head to cheak her temperature. It had been quite high this morning, whitch is why she had been a little easer to banish to the bed room.
"better, baby seems to have punished me enough for the day" she mumbled, continuing the scroll.
"Thats good" he yawned, "I like that one" he pointed.
Toni noded in recognition, tapping on the listing and swiping through the photos.
"Peter’s going to a party" He stated, watching her reaction carefully
"are you going to follow him?" She deadpaned
".. no, I think hell be fine" James smirked
Toni frowned
"he's got at least three of your whiskey bottles"
her frown deepened, "what whisky bottles?"
"ya know, the ones you pour coloured water into"
Tonis eyes widend "oh my god, my craving bottles" she winced "hes going to be stone sober"
James laughed, "but well hydrated"
Toni shook her head "no, no, no. I hope you at least told him to take drugs"
"and that is why im the sensible parent" James smiled
"the stark legacy of the drunk and disorderly is going to be lost forever!" She exclamed, closing her phone and waving her arms about.
"yea i know, real tragedy that is" James smiled, pulling her towards him. "if hes like me, he won't even be able to get drunk, nevermind disorderly "
Tonis mumbles whent unhered as the two slowly drifted off to sleep, legs wraped together. Undouptedly, Toni would wake up in half hour to pains and aces, late night craveings or sickness, but for now they made the most out of each others company.
Peter did not get drunk one bit, but enjoyed the 5 o clock pizza him and ned got befor he headed home.
…
Up until now, the lab had been open for Toni to use. She would often be down there, using her holographic technology to visualise new designs, she had mocked up self charging phones, micro turbines, road panelling that absorbs energy, as well as new arm and leg bionics. on the currently rare occasion that Peter took time off revising, they would mock up new spider suit configurations, but Toni didn’t have to do much. She loved seeing Peter take the lead, finding problems and fixing them without her having to show the way.
He was a lot older to when he needed her to pull up a stool for him to see, and draw out mathematical equations with his crayons. She had never pushed him to learn or take any manuals and seeing his love for macanics and science solidified her thoughts that she did the right thing. All those times she had to fly off and leave him behind, rely on Pepper or Happy or Rhodey to whatch over him. She missed the small him that took his first steps towards her, needed her to read him bed time story’s and wouldn’t go to sleep unless she hugged him super tight. She also missed his Tantrums if his sandwhitch wasn’t cut correctly, or his shoes felt slightly different. It amazed her that that boy she missed, Would be standing right infront of her. Bickering with F.R.I.D.A.Y and covered in greese. He was all grown up, befor her eyes.
The lab had started to resonate with her differently, moving from a place to go to drown out everything, to a space she simply occupied. She hasn’t even noticed it, until now. Looking around her, no loose screws or bolts. There was no layered greese or drying paint, no rolls of paper or open books. She realised she had only used the holographic table for the last two months.
The space felt so empty and lost to her, but she wasn’t sad, she almost felt free. In an odd way that she had never felt befor. The robots had been moved upstairs a while ago too, taking on tasks to help her around the penthouse, making smoothies and bringing her pillows. She may have asked them yesterday to cook her toast with a flamethrower in the kitchen but James didn’t need to know that.
Haveing a moment to take it in, she called out with a ghost of a smile, “F.R.I? when was the last time there was noise down here? “
“2 months to the date” The robotic voice called back.
“I see” closeting her eyes, she smelt the air for the last time, it had even lost its smelly burning sent. “I think I’m ready”
“Are you positive boss?”
Biteing her lower lip in a final string of thoughts, she gave herself a stern nod and clapped her hands
“Yes, start protocol R.3.T.I.R.3.M.3.N.T” she called, blowing a kiss and F.R.I.D.A.Y booted up the protocol. The lab lights started to fade and the cabinets doors sealed shut. Toni swiped the holographs to close, picking up her tablet it had been taken from and walked out of the lab, never looking back.
The doors sealing shut in a final wave goodbye.