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“Is this going to be a thing?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s already a thing. I tell everyone and their cousin about the time I tased Thor, I’m sure as hell gonna mention tazing Captain America. And stop it, I did those modifications myself. Congratulate me I’m awesome.”
Tony has no arguments whatsoever against Darcy Lewis’s awesomeness. In fact he’s considering commissioning a statue or building sized mural in her honor. But there was a good chance that she might taze his ass if he did that. Or you know, never speak to him again. Which is the exact opposite of what he wants.
“You’re awesome.”
“I know.”
“In light of your awesomeness can I please modify your tazer.”
Darcy glares at him. It’s a friendly glare, but still.
“I even said please. Look at all these manners I’m learning.”
She rolls her eyes at him from where she’s looking over the back of his workshop futon. He’s counting her presence as a major win since, she let him fly her into the city within a day or two of the ‘attack’ on the compound.
“No. As I said before I did these modifications myself. It’s a sentimental thing.”
Which is fine. It’s not like he doesn’t get that. He’s super sentimental about literally everything he builds even if he doesn’t ever admit that weakness out loud. But it doesn’t change the fact that Darcy walks around with a self modded store bought tazer as her only real means of defense. It’s not enough and it’s making Tony beyond agitated. There’s assassins and super soldiers and alien gods running around and she’s got a fucking tazer. His brain keeps rebooting over that fact and then running down operations costs of hiring her, her own security team.
But that’s a pipe dream if there ever was one.
He doesn’t even know how to verbalize that concept out loud. However, he’s Tony Stark so he’s going to do it anyway because the alternative is the stuff of nightmares. Darcy needs to understand what she’s rapidly getting into and it’s not just Avengers drama that he’s concerned about.
“But,” she points dorky finger guns at him interrupting his spiraling train of thought,” I am willing, if you have time to build me one, or better yet teach me how to build a better one, to have an upgrade that way. Or spare. I can wield two at once.”
He blinks at her.
“I’ll totally sign any NDA’s about working with you and weapons if needed." Darcy says, broaching the no weapons for the public rule, head on. It's not even the issue he had in mind. Though it’s good to know that she realized that was also a valid concern.
He avoids her eyes, and fiddles with left over pieces of his latest Iron Man suit scattered over his desk. The media has not linked Darcy to him yet, but if they continue down this path, even if it was only as friends or coworkers, it's inevitable that paparazzi and worse will find out about them.
"It’s not that Darcy."
Something about his tone must have caught her attention because the semi relaxed sprawl on his futon somehow ended up with Darcy sitting across from him at his desk.
“Look I grew up in this lifestyle, I was trained my whole life since I was literally a toddler. The media, the lack of privacy, the normal threats that don’t include supersoldiers and space gods. It’s disaster on a good day and it’s going to hit you hard if you associate with me. Worse than most because you’re young, and attractive, and in a vastly different tax bracket than I am.” He cringed internally as he listed off the basic issues, but it really had to be laid out bluntly for it to be fair to Darcy.
Darcy raised one eyebrow at him and crossed her arms.
“Are you breaking up with me?”
“What!? No.” and he was really hoping Darcy wasn’t about to break up with him. “Just stating facts and possible scenarios, because sometimes getting stalked by paparazzi and your privacy constantly invaded wears on you more than a physical fight.”
“I know how insidious rumor mills can be. I’ve worked as a waitress in a restaurant in a small town before.”
Tony fought down the impulse to roll his eyes, he wasn’t sure how that was supposed to measure up the same. But luckily for him and any hope he had of staying on Darcy’s good side, he was saved by Darcy explaining.
“No, seriously. Small towns need scandals to prevent complete and utter despair settling into all residents. Being 17 and with D cups is enough to be linked to everyone, including half your classmates dad’s that frequented the bar, even if you spend all your free time working or studying so you can escape the fuck out of there. Not being felt up behind the local Dairy Queen by the varsity football player that asked you out and then proceeded talk about how many kids he wanted when he graduated and would go into business at his dad’s used car lot. Oh and he was seeing a freshman cheerleader at the same time. I, uh, figured that out before I ended up in the aforementioned scenario.” Darcy stated rather matter of fact.
“Right.” Tony mutters flatly, tapping down the anger that’s growing with each word she says. He could buy and then fire whatever small town she was from but, frankly didn’t have the time right now and Darcy might appreciate it on some petty level but not actually in reality.
“That being said, the scope of being linked to you is mind blowing.” Now Darcy’s the one avoiding his eyes.
“And….not in a good way.”
“yeah, unfortunately. Um. You’re like the 1% of 1%ers and a superhero too. Like that’s a bit outside normal comprehension levels.” She blew out a deep breath and continued, “but the superhero side of things is going to be in my life whether or not you’re in my life. Jane’s not going to stop tangling with space and Asgard, and I’m not going to stop hanging out with Jane so that’s unavoidable. The filthy richness is really what bothers me most.”
“most people just want me for my money.”
Darcy half smiled but mostly grimaced and nodded.
“I mean, I’m not going to lie. Your billions could probably turn anyone’s head. It’s a factor whether I want it to be or not. But that also brings up the deep inequality that can’t be avoided between us. Your money alone -not counting your fame, age, or contacts- can buy your way out of situations I can’t even dream of competing in. It’s scary.”
Tony opens his mouth to answer but once again doesn’t know how to respond.
“Is it already too much for you?” it’s hard to keep his tone of voice light. He fails based on the way Darcy’s face softens.
“Right now it just means we are probably going to have some tough discussions in the future. And that you need to try and understand that I can’t just let you pay for and handle everything or else I’ll literally have no say in things.” She paused, and leaned in. “but I think for now someone was just about to show me how to build a better tazer?”
“I think that can be arranged.”
"And tomorrow we can discuss all this in more detail if you want."