Chapter Text
Never again, Jaskier thought, groaning as he rolled onto his back, rubbing at his eyes. The gesture hurt, causing a pounding in his head. His skin felt sticky from something- make up, perhaps?- being smeared all over his face and likely on the pillow he was resting against. At least he wasn’t in those gods forsaken clothes anymore, they itched terribly after five minutes of wearing them. Clearly, whoever made them didn’t think about having some kind of interfacing that would wick away sweat or at least leave the wearer feeling comfortable in them. At least the colors were nice.
Peeking one of his eyes open, Jaskier blinked blurredly at the room he was in. It… was not the one he remembered sleeping in before. But that hardly surprised him, he slept in many a-different room after a party, even if he couldn’t remember what exactly happened at said party. Something about dancing? Fancy people? Oh, who cares, he likely didn’t get paid for it anyways. Humming to himself like a content cat who just had the best cat nap in history, Jaskier stretched out before sitting up. His stomach was growling and he was famished.
“Surely this place has some kind of breakfast service- or food in general,” he mused aloud, looking for a window. He whistled low when he saw it was rather bright outside, likely making it past mid-morning, if not more closer to noon. “Looks like it will be lunch, once I figure out where to get some.”
“I already got us some,” a very gruff, very admittedly sexy voice called out from the other side of the room. Jaskier looked over and was taken aback. Staring at him was a very rugged, handsome man with long white hair, a decent amount of stubble, and very strange amber eyes. Almost like a wolf, but there was still that human-like shape to them. Freaky.
“Oh… Well, by all means, then, Mister…. Fuck, I’m sorry, I’m shit with names this early- what’s on the menu?” Jaskier asked, sliding out of bed- thank fuck he was wearing pants, otherwise he would have flashed this handsome man. Unless they had some kind of romp together while he was unaware, then it would be more of a tempting treat for the other. But probably still for the best he was somewhat clothed if his headache had anything to say about it. Fucking while hungover is so not what I want right now… Well, maybe with the right convincing. Like if he were hung like a horse, for instance.
The man squinted at him for a moment before rolling his eyes, nodding to the food on the table beside him, “Not much, really. Bread, cheese, and I think some kind of cattle. Have as much as you like, I’ve had my fill.”
“Don’t mind if I do,” Jaskier said with a delighted lit in his voice, padding over to plop himself in the chair opposite of the stranger. He wasn’t one to say no to free food- or, at least, he assumed it was free food, but he was too hungry to really question that at the moment. He could always put it on a tab or something if it wasn't being paid for. Making himself a small sandwich with the provided meat, cheese, and bread, Jaskier took a big bite. It was admittedly colder than he expected, and probably needed some kind of spread of butter or something, but it was tasty nonetheless. He gestured to it with an appreciative grin, “Thissh ver’ good.”
“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” grumbled the man, looking away from the bard as he took a sip from a mug. Jaskier grunted and quickly swallowed his food, taking a sip from his own mug to wash it all done.
“Right, sorry. My table manners seem to skip town sometimes,” he admitted with an apologetic grin. “So, uh… Mister I-Still-Don’t-Remember-Your-Name, uh, how are you this morning? Afternoon? What time is it, anyways?”
“Jaskier, you can quit it with the memory shit, I didn’t hit you that hard.”
“Hit- you hit me?” Jaskier’s brows shot up and he was glad he wasn’t chewing right now, as he was sure he would have chomped a meaty chunk of the inside of his cheek if he had been. It really wasn’t a surprise that he got hit somehow, but now he was curious as to what he did to deserve it. “I hope I didn’t deserve it- unless I did because I agreed to some kind of bedroom play. I’ve done that before, really sweet girl, but I can definitely say that paddles are-”
“Please shut up,” the man said, glaring slightly. Jaskier held up a hand placatedly, choosing to continue eating his food to keep himself quiet. The man still gave him a weird look, though, as if he was trying to figure something out. “What do you remember of last night?”
Jaskier shrugged, thinking about it as he swallowed his recent bite of the sandwich. “Not much. Dressed up in some itchy party clothes- thank Melitele I am not wearing those anymore, they were so uncomfortable. There were some rich people at a party, a really fun bunch. I think I went to go dancing with someone… And I woke up here? I assume I danced with you, which I apologize if I was a shit dancer, really playing music is my thing but they already had a band going and my lute was back in my room-”
Panic bubbled through him as he shot out of seat with a swear. “My lute- my stuff! Fuck, they’re going to trash it if I don’t go get them-!”
“Jaskier- Jas!” the man shouted, getting his attention before he could get too far. At least this guy remembered his name- shame he didn’t remember his. “Your belongings are fine, I left them with Roach.”
“Right… Roach… Heard weirder names, but I won’t question them,” Jaskier murmured, sitting back down with a sigh. Gods, it was too early for this shit. For him, at least. “Sorry, I just. I don’t make a lot, so I really hate replacing my things when I have to.”
“I can understand,” the man answered gruffly, leaning back in his chair. He looked tired. “So you don’t remember getting here?”
“Mm… no, can’t say I do. I went to go for a dance, woke up here. Pretty much it.”
“Bugger,” mumbled the man, taking another sip- a long sip, and damn did he make it look sexy- from his mug before setting it back down onto the table. “Probably for the better, though I was hoping you’d remember why you were trying to attack me in the garden. Most likely due to the enchantment.”
“Attack- I’m sorry, did you say enchantment?” Jaskier asked, puzzled and also a bit alarmed. He hated having magic performed on him without his consent, especially if it made him attack sexy men like the stud in front of him. He didn’t look like he was hurt, so maybe it wasn’t too bad. “Care to, uh, enlighten me?”
“Was hoping you’d enlighten me, but I suppose the spell’s effect must have wiped your memory of the event. Likely so you couldn’t say who placed it on you or why, though I thankfully know who put it on you. The ‘why’ is what bugs me, though I’m not surprised since you know how people can be about Witchers.”
“Witchers… Right, monster hunters with those weird potions and the mysterious hideout in the mountains,” mumbled Jaskier, wistfully tearing off a piece of bread from the remaining hunk of his sandwich. He frowned and gave the stranger a steady look, “Hang on, are you saying you’re one of them?”
The man gave him a look like Jaskier grew a second head, confusion on his face. “Yes? Jaskier, you’ve known that since we’ve met.”
“Which…. Has been, like, what? Twelve hours? Sorry, I can’t really say how long I’ve known you since the party, bit lost after sleeping.”
“Jas… We’ve known each other for years.”
Jaskier blinked at the strange man, now giving him a look like he had grown a second head- oh, imagine that, two sexy faces instead of one. Still, what he was saying made little sense. He was good with faces, even better with voices, and he couldn’t place this man anywhere in his memory whatsoever. “I don’t know how to break this to you buddy, but I literally just met you last night– or quite possibly this morning– afternoon? Whatever. Um… So, yeah, what’s your name again?”
“...Fuck.”
—
‘Fuck’ turned out to be a Witcher named Geralt. Who Jaskier had been traveling with for months now, but had known for years ever since they met back in some backwater town being harried by elves. Apparently, Jaskier had even written his song ‘Toss a Coin’ about their little adventure, but the bard still couldn’t recall the Witcher being there when the elves were kicking his ass and breaking his lute. Though, he supposed that made the song make a little more sense, what with it having the man’s name in it and all. Still, Jaskier couldn’t recall ever meeting the Witcher until that moment of waking up after the party.
“What else have we done together?” Jaskier asked for maybe the tenth time that morning, walking alongside the horse- Roach, as Geralt explained to him, which still made the name bad but at least it wasn’t a person- while Geralt sat high in the saddle. They had left the inn they had been staying at not long ago, and already the bard had asked him more than enough questions to fill a novella. Oh, there’s an idea.
“You really remember nothing about me?” Geralt asked, sounding both annoyed and some other emotion that Jaskier couldn’t place a name to. Definitely not one that resembled the color brown.
“Not a thing, friend, not a thing,” Jaskier answered honestly, giving a shrug. His shoulders were going to get a work out from how many shrugs he’s offered the Witcher. “My guess is that you clocked me really good and knocked out my memory, so you better spill the details.”
“I didn’t hit you that hard- plus, I hit your jaw, not your skull, so no, I didn’t knock out your memories. Wrong part of your head, though I doubt you would have ever known that,” Geralt explained, grumbling a bit under his breath about some enchantment and an empress.
Jaskier whistled, looking surprised at the tidbit he managed to hear from the other’s mumbling. “You’ve met an empress? Wow, color me impressed, what did she look like? Pretty? Young?”
“You met her too, but I suppose that went away with the enchantment as well. Not surprised, I think she put it on you. The only thing is, why?”
Jaskier gave another little whistle in awe. Queens, princesses, and a few other noble ladies he can remember meeting, but an empress? A magical empress? Wow, she must have been very pretty indeed, or a total eye-sore and he should count himself lucky he doesn’t remember her. “Maybe I pissed her off and she did it to teach me a lesson?”
“You do have a habit of doing that, but no. I think it has something to do with me.”
“Well, you must have pissed her the right fuck off, then. What did you do? Sleep with her and leave her all alone the next morning? Kill her husband? Her wife? Was she married?”
Geralt kicked him in the shoulder, which, ow, okay, someone was grumpy, but he probably deserved that. “She wasn’t the real empress, but I couldn’t figure out what exactly she was either. Most likely I was getting close to uncovering her identity and she wanted me out of the way. My guess is that she enchanted you because you’re someone I trust and wouldn’t suspect if you wanted to get alone and personal with me. Only problem is, she didn’t account for the fact that you were pissed off at me before the party and… other details. So I saw right through it.”
“Other details? So we didn’t sleep together last night?” Jaskier instinctively dodged a kick that he was expecting to come his way, but Geralt only pulled Roach to a stop, obviously lost in thought. The bard slowed as well, looking up at the Witcher with a puzzled look on his face. “Geralt?”
“Why would she make you act like you did…?”
“Well, what do you mean? Was I not my normally charming self?” he asked, giving a little pose that was obviously from a man who had way too big of an ego to be squashed by the likes of mortal men. Witcher men? Possibly. Sexy Witcher men? Well, if they’re offering…
“Loathe as I am to say, no, no you were not,” Geralt said slowly, thinking back to how the bard had been acting. Overly flirtatious and fawning, calling me his darling… gross. More theatrical than his usual pomp. And then… an crazed yet utterly blank slate. Obviously he was under a spell, but what was it about that behavior that she had to make him act under? The theatrical fawning, I can understand, given the set up and the presumption she made over us… but the rest…?
“...Geralt? Hellooo~? Anyone home?”
The Witcher blinked a few before registering the fact that Jaskier had gotten closer and was trying to wave his hand in front of his eyes. Ah. Must have been lost in thought.
“Ah, there you are. Um, so what was it I was doing while under this supposed spell? It wasn’t anything that would ruin my reputation, was it? I…do have a reputation still, right?” Jaskier asked cautiously, lowering his hand when he saw the focus return to Geralt’s strange amber eyes.
“Honestly…The jury is still out if I should even tell you,” the Witcher admitted before encouraging Roach to continue forward. Jaskier sputtered a bit in his wake in mild confusion before jogging to catch up.
“So we did fuck, then?”
“No.”
“Damn it!”