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The Goddamn Snickerdoodle

Summary:

Emma and Regina were not ones to meddle with a good thing. They both cherished the friendship they'd built between them and neither was keen on risking it by pressing for more. Unfortunately, Zelena didn't share their concern. Now half of SwanQueen is on a truth serum and the other half is a very confused Emma Swan.

Notes:

Thank you to the wonderful artists, PrincessBread and RegalLady36, who created amazing art pieces to go with this story!!!! Thank you to Zelene for betaing large chunks of this work; you made a huge difference. And thank you to the mods for putting this event together.

Chapter 1: Strange Encounter

Chapter Text

     Ever since Emma’s divorce a little less than a year ago, she’d found herself spending more and more time over at 108 Mifflin Street. It started as just an evening or two a week, then it was two or three evenings, plus every time Henry had a sleepover, Emma would happen to be in the neighborhood with a bottle of Regina’s favorite red wine. Now it seemed to happen more often than not, and the key Regina had given her (“because, Miss Swan, I’m tired of pausing to open a door you’re more than capable of opening yourself”) was definitely losing its shine and sporting several scratches from being pocketed with her Sheriff’s badge.

     So, nothing seemed out of the ordinary when Emma got off work early that day and decided to drive over to Regina’s to see if she wanted help cooking dinner. It wasn’t until her key was in the lock of 108’s front door that she noticed something was off. Where silence usually awaited her, or the occasional humming Regina denies vehemently to be guilty of, there were muffled, angry voices buzzing through the door, angry voices that sounded a lot like Regina’s and Zelena’s.

     Slowly, Emma pocketed her keys, not wanting to intrude on whatever Regina was in the middle of, but her feet remained stubbornly planted on the porch. She knew she should turn around, and for a moment, she really did try to convince herself to leave the sisters to their own devices. After all, that would’ve been the most reasonable thing to do…

     But Emma really wasn’t known for being the most reasonable person, and her curiosity was piqued.  Honestly, Emma's only heard Regina shout once, and that was mostly to be heard over the roar of a borrowed chainsaw that had been hacking at her apple tree. Regina was always in control of her emotions and prided herself in her self composure. She hadn’t even raised her voice last week when Emma accidentally knocked over a shelf in the vault, shattering the potions that had been meticulously arranged on it (which hadn’t reacted well together and flooded the vault with spoiled milk scented smoke, but that’s a story for another day).

     Even if Regina were going to shout at someone though, Emma wouldn’t have guessed it’d be Zelena. The two may squabble and antagonize one another constantly but they hadn’t really fought in years. So, propelled by curiosity and the fair certainty that Regina would tell her to come back later if it really was a bad time, she rang the doorbell.

     The shouting stopped almost immediately, and Emma waited patiently for the silence to be replaced by Regina’s heels clicking towards the entryway. However, the silence continued to stretch and stretch until the door was huffily jerked open without warning.

     Regina appeared on the threshold, and the irritation rolling off the woman was nearly tangible. But that anger seemed to flee as abruptly as Regina had appeared at the door. Brown eyes widened with what looked like panic as they recognized the bemused sheriff. Concerned and confused, Emma opened her mouth to ask what was wrong but before she could get the first syllable out, Regina disappeared in a plume of purple smoke.

     Taken off guard, Emma was left blinking at the spot Regina had been standing in until, deeper in the house, Zelena’s voice called for her sister, “Regina?” Realizing her mouth was still opened slightly, Emma snapped it shut just as a set of heels began to clip towards the entryway, accompanied by a disgruntled, “Oh, so now you’re not speaking to me? I wish you would’ve started with that punishment.”

     Zelena stalked around a corner and sighed when she caught sight of the sheriff. “Oh God, it’s you again.” She dismissively flitted her gaze away from Emma and glanced around the room. “Well, where is she?”

     Emma felt her forehead crinkle, “Who?”

     Zelena’s attention snapped back to Emma, apparently unimpressed with the sheriff’s response. “My sister, obviously.”

     Emma shoved her hands into her back pockets, “I don’t know. She opened the door and then just disappeared.”

     Zelena’s eyes took on a disconcertingly amused glint, “Regina saw you and immediately magicked herself away?” At Emma’s nod, Zelena snorted, “I knew that ‘you’re-imagining-things’ was bollocks.  That woman doesn’t have a subtle bone in her body, and you-” Zelena’s eyes ran over Emma before she shook her head, “Don’t even get me started.”

     Emma wasn’t sure what Zelena was talking about, but the trademark Mills’ sneer directed at her likely meant she was being insulted. However, feeling far more confused than offended, Emma rocked back on her heels and asked, “Do you know what that was about?”

     Zelena chuckled as she sauntered towards the door. “Don’t worry, Savior. I imagine you’ll be finding out soon enough.” And with that, the redhead flicked the door closed in Emma’s face.

     Emma blinked at the golden 108 on the door for a moment before finally stepping away. She slipped her phone out of her pocket as she walked back to the bug and opened her messages with Regina, quickly typing out, You want to tell me what’s going on?

     She was unlocking her car when she got Regina’s response, a very to the point No. She rolled her eyes just as her phone buzzed again. And don’t forget to take Henry to the dentist tomorrow for his four o’clock appointment.

     Emma flopped into the driver’s seat and texted back Yes, your Majesty . She chucked her phone into the cup holder, expecting a snarky retort to be waiting for her by the time she got home. It never came.