Chapter Text
Like all things in life, high school was fleeting and temporary.
After months of preparing for university life, you graduated with decent grades and with high hopes for the future. Of course, such ambitions and happiness paled in comparison when it came to the best student in all of Japan, but Light was Light and you were not. For what it was worth, you were proud of what you accomplished and your family was sure to hug you close and shower you with affection and love for making it this far in life.
Soon after, you officially enrolled into your chosen university, not all minding that you were transitioning into what most would think would be one of the most stressful parts of your life.
It was at that point that Light wormed his way back into your life.
Despite the fact that your chosen careers and universities were different (some could even say that they were at opposite ends of the spectrum), your childhood friend wanted to continue spending time with you.
Confused, you asked him why. Shouldn’t he be more focused on himself and his own studies? Why was he so adamant in making sure that you were settling in fine and that you were supposedly “safe” from negative influences?
As always, Light claimed that he only wanted to be helpful.
To be kind.
Because you were helpful and kind to him throughout your shared history.
Because being helpful and kind was getting harder and harder to come by in a world so rotten, a madman that could kill with a name and a face could compare himself to a god.
So you had no choice: you spent more time with Light then what you had thought possible.
Before, you had thought that your friendship would slowly dissolve into a close, but somewhat cool acquaintanceship that often came with conflicting schedules and differing life paths. Like two boats passing each other in the dead of night. During one point, you would have been traveling on the same path as each other, but now… You would pass each other by with nothing but a ripple and past memories to signal that you were ever friends.
Nowadays, though, you often found yourself talking to your childhood neighbor more often than not. At first, he was questioning your welfare. Then, he was asking if you needed help with schoolwork. And then, instead of immersing himself in university life, Light often made time to include you in his study groups and university events.
And you were kind. And you wanted to be polite.
But it was so hard to be those things when it felt like Light’s very presence was choking you from the inside out. Drinking coffee at a cafe was akin to getting dragged to the gallows. Following along with group study dates with his friends from his university (never yours) was like getting a lobotomy that you had been coerced into receiving.
You had tried to initiate events on your own, but it was either Light’s pedantry versus your want to do something—anything—different, but it never came to pass.
You were frustrated and you wanted out of this stifling friendship, but you wanted to be empathetic, to be kind.
At first, you had thought such an inclusion was in an effort to be kind (a remnant of the halcyon days of your shared childhood, perhaps?), but it went from random acts of kindness to premeditated scheduling.
You never had enough time to hang out with friends from your school.
You never had enough time to yourself—you couldn’t study by yourself, if at all nowadays.
You had chalked it up to coincidence after coincidence, but after two weeks of non-stop, constant contact with Light, you couldn’t help but want to put your foot down. The both of you were close friends, yes, but this had to stop. At the very least, you wanted to enforce certain boundaries so as to maintain your sanity.
There were only so many events or study dates you could attend before you eventually blew up. Or worse.
So, after much thought, you decided to spare yourself the confrontation and texted Light.
Was it cowardly of you to send him a message instead of speaking to him face to face?
Perhaps, but you wanted to be kind.
Courteous.
Polite, even.
What was the use in asking Light to accompany you to a cafe or the library only to tell him that you didn’t want to hang out anymore? It would only negate the main point in your conflict: that you wanted to spend time doing things you liked instead of kowtowing to Light’s every whim.
If this meant that your friendship would inevitably shudder and collapse under the weight of constant weakening of boundaries between the both of you, then so be it.
So you messaged him because you were kind and this was the kindest way to go about it.
But kindness does not always yield kindness.
As soon as you sent your advanced apologies and pleas for space, you turned off your phone and tried your utmost to focus on your university work.
For the first time in a long while, you were hopeful. If you could remember correctly, Light could be understanding, empathetic even, when you were children. For all you knew, you could be blowing things out of proportion for acting the way you did, but you held firm in your decision. You were tired of being silenced and swayed from your decisions to have a life that you could enjoy by yourself.
And then a day passes.
You had glanced down at your phone only to see that there was no reply, only the checkmark to indicate that it had been read. Guilt clawed at the insides of your stomach and gummed up your throat, but you dismissed it. Normally, Light was prompt when responding to your texts, but you supposed given the circumstances, anything out of the ordinary could be due to your forcefulness.
Regardless, you went about your business, attended your classes, and then, when you finally felt like you had regained your confidence, you decided to visit a new cafe that had opened up a few blocks away from your university.
It was supposed to be a bookshop themed cafe, with bookshelves and well loved books decorating the windows and every available wall of the cafe. Some of the tables were decorated with titles from some classic Japanese literature while others were covered with famous anime and manga characters. Despite the strange and chaotic nature, the eclectic collection brought nothing but joy. Why, you could even see that there was an empty table where you could see some of your favorite children’s literature titles from your youth!
With a skip to your step, you ambled towards the cashier and gave your order.
It was something simple, but unique for your first time at this establishment. Given the easygoing atmosphere, you were sure that you would frequent this cafe in the future.
As you waited, you traced over the painted calligraphy, somewhat in awe of the color palette and the newness of the cafe. It was homy and as your eyes wandered, you noticed other university students and random couples interspersed throughout the space. It was… nice. You could imagine yourself bringing in a romantic partner here for a date or two.
You found attention was grabbed by your server gently placing your order onto your table. After graciously thanking them for the treat, you began to take a sip of your chosen beverage before flipping through some of your textbooks. Relaxing was nice and all, but you definitely did not want to fall back on your studies.
As you highlighted a few portions of your book, your ears pricked at the sound of the door opening and a pair of footsteps walking through the establishment. Because it was only human nature, you glanced up out of curiosity—you were fully intending on going back to work—and then your heart stuttered in your chest.
The highlighter that you had been using had fallen slack from your grasp and rolled onto the floor. The resulting clatter had other patrons glancing at you while you fumbled down to the floor to get your highlighter back. However, the person who entered did not spare you a glance.
For a moment, you thought that you were safe.
But—
You could never be more wrong.
Just as your heart rate began to settle back into its baseline rhythm, you tensed again. You felt rather than saw the person’s shadow settle over your figure, which only served as an impetus to make you glance up.
Light stared down at you, a subdued smile on his lips while an unreadable emotion passed through his eyes.
“Well, hello there! I didn’t expect to see you after last night’s chat!”
Whatever ease you had tried to trick your body into fled out of your body as fast as an Olympic athlete running a marathon.
Light was not happy. At all.
Still, you tried to stand your ground. You wanted—no, you needed—your independence from this relationship that was slowly transitioning into a cesspit of toxicity. You had enough of Light and you tried your best to be nice.
This was the least that you could do to respect yourself.
“And I didn’t expect to see you here, Light.” A thought occurred to you. A thought that you didn’t want to entertain, but the more you recounted the events of the past few weeks and all of your interactions… It seemed that the evidence was mounting. “Have you been following me?”
Light’s lips curled.
“Are you saying that you’re not happy to see me?”
You floundered.
So you decided to address what may have been the reason why Light was here in the first place. “Look, I know I promised that I would attend tomorrow’s study date with you and all your friends, but—”
He waved a hand imperiously—like a crown prince bidding a peasant to kiss his feet. Because you were so used to Light, you immediately stopped and listened. A terrible choice given you wanted to give off the impression that you didn’t just bow down to Light, but you were curious all the same.
“If you wanted to cancel, you could have just told me instead of—” He gestured to his phone where you saw the lit screen hosting the texts you had sent him last night. You felt your face warm and your nails bite into tender flesh as you clenched your fists. “Usually, you’re more forward and honest with me. Don’t I deserve that?”
You readied your voice, remembered how distraught and annoyed you were that your life was slowly getting controlled by your childhood friend. However, when you finally built the confidence to speak, to finally tell Light how you truly felt, you wavered.
His face… His eyes were furrowed in concern, lips drawn into a pout that most would consider heartwarmingly pathetic. In fact, you felt yourself eerily drawn to him. You wanted to hold his hand, to make it all better. How could a terrible person such as yourself make him feel so downtrodden?
It was like you had kicked a defenseless puppy out onto the cold, merciless streets.
“I… Well…”
The correct answer was yes.
But, at the same time, no.
No—because you never felt like you were Light’s friend during those outings. You felt like he was letting you tag along like a pet.
No—because you were your own person and Light needed to know this.
No.
But Light’s eyes were so warm and so pleading.
You fiddled with your beverage as you kept your head low and eyes carefully trained on the table. The more you thought about it, the more ridiculous your actions were. You guys were friends, right? And friends had their disagreements and spats at times, right? This situation was no different.
You could forgive Light.
Was this all a misunderstanding? Perhaps you were only overreacting…
Sensing that you were acquiescing, Light lightly laughed at you, his head leaning into the palm of his hand.
“That’s okay. I forgive you.” He grinned, the sight of which made it seem like all was right with the world. “You want to know why?”
You shrugged.
“Because you’re utterly too good for me, you know?” His voice lowered. “And the rest of the world.”
Before you could say something in return, Light leaned forward and pressed a kiss against your cheek. The touch was soft, but it felt like he was searing a brand into your skin. The feeling of his lips continued to caress your skin for a few more moments before he pulled back, a satisfied smile lighting up his face.
And before you knew it, Light was kissing you again and again.
And you couldn’t stop him because you were just too damn nice.