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You knew something was wrong when you saw that all the votive candles had been snuffed out. There were still lines of soot streaming from their charcoaled wicks, indicating that they had just recently been blown out. It must’ve been in part due to the noise you heard that caused you to enter the church at such a late hour in the first place. It sounded troublesome, considering you heard it through the thick raindrops trailing down the branches of the ancient hickory tree that hung over the church as you made your way back to your nun quarters after an evening spent visiting the children at the orphanage. But it felt like the closer you got to the source of the noise, the harder it was to ignore the thoughts in the back of your mind that was screaming at you to turn around.
Turning the corner, you were faced with rows of empty church pews. There was a certain energy in the air that only intensified when you saw Father Higuruma standing in front of the massive crucifix that stood on the shallow stage. This is an image you had seen many times before, during sermons and vigils hosted by him. But with his back turned to you, the moonlight that casted from the stained glass windows emphasized the heaving of his shoulders, and the grimace that marked his face. It was a scary look, one you had never seen on his usually calm demeanor before, and you were about to call out his name when all was interrupted by another loud noise.
This one was different. It didn’t accompany a voice, but rather a wet thud sound that was as unfamiliar as it was horrifying. It happened so fast, you hardly saw Father Higuruma move, but his figure was now hunched over with his arm extended out, clearly landing a strike. This mixed with the fury in his eyes caused you to scream out, and you fell back against your skirt when his eyes landed on you. Paralyzed in fear, you watched as he approached you, his already tall figure looming over your shivering one. The first thing you noticed was a bloodied fist wrapped in rosary beads, droplets of crimson falling to the carpet below just inches from your feet.
“Did any of them call for you to come here?” Father Higuruma asked in an even, yet demanding tone. You looked off to the side to see the hand of Father Yoshinobu laid sprawled on the ground, and though the rest was shielded behind the pew, you could see a thick pool of blood that only grew with each passing second. The direction it was going in made you notice the other bodies laid strewn on the floor, too still to be alive.
“Sister,” he said, bringing your attention back to him. He gave you a look that voiced his distrust in you as he asked again, “Did any of the priests call for you?”
“N-no, I-...,” how could he expect you to speak at a time like this. None of this seemed real, like you had walked into a nightmare. But when he took a step forward, it felt like a countdown to your doom and you quickly spat out, “No, Father! I just came from the village! I was visiting the children and I heard a noise outside-”
You started to scoot back on your hands and feet as sobs ripped from your throat, and you nearly choked on air when he stepped on the edge of your skirt, halting your movement. He ignored your cries and squatted down till his arms rested on his kneecaps as he said, “I’m sorry to frighten you, Sister. I know this is a lot to take in, but I need you to be honest with me. Did you know anything about what they were doing? The crimes they have committed for … who knows how long.”
He said that in an exasperated tone, making you more confused as you said, “I don’t know what you mean, Father! What have-....Why would you do this?….. Are you going to- will you…”
His harsh gaze didn’t let up, but he said in a slightly softer tone, “I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t let this corruption go on any longer than it already has. I need to know if I can trust you.”
“What do you mean…?” you said with bleary eyes.
Father Higuruma was more reserved than the other priests, always choosing to stay in the background till it was his time to speak. You were starting to question if you were really speaking to the same person, but no matter how many tears you blinked away, it was still the same man. The one you thought could never stray from God’s light.
“Have you really no clue?” he asked, and from the look on your face he seemed to get his answer. “These… men, if you can call them that… They are all monsters. If there is a hell, they are surely there now. I may have committed a heinous sin tonight, but I regret nothing if it means the sickness they brought onto this church will stop. Them along with the Abbess, which is why I can’t put my full trust in you just yet.”
“You mean Sister Mei Mei? She’s…dead?” you asked, feeling like your chest was filling with cement.
“All the leaders of the church are. I called them in here under the guise of an emergency meeting, but that was really just a front for me to confront them with what they’ve done. To confirm what I know now is true.”
“That what is true?” you asked, flinching as a loud thunder strike sounded across the acres of empty fields that surrounded the church, what you considered your home. What you thought was your home.
“That they are all sinners. That their souls were too tainted to be cleansed, and the world will be a better place now that it is rid of them. The Lord may strike me down for passing my own judgment, but I couldn’t turn a blind eye once I saw the truth…
So tell me, Sister,” he said as he leaned in closer, face hovering inches from yours as he asked, “Have you sinned?”
Was this truly your final moment? Was your life in the hand of a man who’s devotion to the church always seemed irrevocable in your eyes? You had seen the way he questioned some of the elders, only to be shut down by their careful words. You had seen the way his face showed his doubt, and how it only made him question more. And you knew for that fact alone that you couldn’t lie to him. Not to him or your God, if this was truly your judgment day. So with tears staining your cheeks, you confessed.
“I’m sorry, Father. I have tried to pray my sins away, but I’m afraid that I too have been corrupted by evil. I promise I tried my hardest to stay pure, but I-… I’ve never felt this way for anyone before.”
“What are you saying, Sister?” he looked down at you with confusion, the rosary slowly slipping out of his hand. It fell to the carpet below and it was the only thing you could make eye contact with as you continued.
“Heavenly Father, please forgive me for I have sinned. It started with this feeling. An urge, like the devil whispering over my shoulder, telling me I should satisfy these urges. And I held them back for a long, long time. I promise you, I did!...But the closer I was to you… the stronger these feelings got.”
He was still hovering over you, but he let his foot off of your skirt and you scurried to kneel before him, fingers laced in a prayer motion. Your face was pointed down and your knuckles were blanched from how tightly you held them. You couldn’t control the shaking in your limbs or your voice as you said, “I am so sorry, Father. I am afraid I have strayed too far from the path of God to be redeemed. There are nights where I wonder if he has put you in my life to test me, for which I have failed horribly. Over and over and over again. All I can ask for now is that you may grant me the forgiveness I know I do not deserve.”
He fell back on his knees as he gently grabbed your shoulders to lift you up. His brows were furrowed as he gazed upon your disheveled face to say, “I don’t understand what you mean, Sister.”
Your hands shot out to clutch onto his arms, which tensed underneath the thick black fabric of his uniform. Your eyes were as pleading as they were tearful as you looked up at him, “I have been having… lustful thoughts. Of you, Father. I thought I could pray them away, but I let myself fall to the dark side and I confess that I have satiated these urges with my own hands. I just pray now that you can somehow forgive me for my sins. Even if it costs my life.”
You were an utter mess, the top of your head pressed against his sternum as you heaved, tears soaking your now wrinkled gown. This was your punishment for failing God, and it would be wielded by the hands of the person you had fixated your lust onto. He gave you a few seconds to let out your sobs before pushing back your shoulders so you could face him. His face was unreadable, but he didn’t seem as upset as before.
“Sister, I’m sorry for doubting you, but this is not what I meant. I had ended the lives of the clergy because they were all corrupt. I had my suspicions a few months back when I noticed large sums of money being deposited into the church’s accounts. They were all written under the same donor name. At first glance, nothing looked out of place. But I had stayed in the shadows for all this time because something in my heart told me that this wasn’t right. And it wasn’t until I stumbled upon one of their secret meetings that I discovered what they had been hiding. They had been trafficking the other nuns, under the guise that they were sending them on long term mission trips. But that was all a front in order to sell them onto the black market. The Abbess was the leader of all this, so I had my suspicions that there was a traitor amongst the sisters who was working along side the clergy. But clearly you knew nothing of this. Please forgive me, Sister.”
You were utterly shocked by what you had just heard. The clergy was always very private, but you had just joined the church a year ago and figured they needed time for you to prove your faith to them. You had gotten to know some of the Sisters very well, and even remembered a few instances of congratulating them when they were promoted to travel abroad. It wasn’t something you personally seeked out, despite Sister Mei Mei bringing it up with you a few times, but you wouldn’t have second guessed your leaders if they told you it was your time to devote your faith elsewhere. You had put your full faith in them, and to learn that they had ulterior motives was a shell shock to say the least.
But the other horrifying part is that you had needlessly confessed such a humiliating secret to the object of your affection. You could tell from his expression that he was careful to not react in any way that might embarrass you, but the damage was already done, and you felt like you could pass out from how much blood was rushing to your face.
Your attention was brought back to him when you heard him speak your given name, something you didn’t even know he had knowledge of. It sounded so good coming from his lips, and his face was calming despite the horror that was just behind him.
“You weren’t supposed to see this. I don’t blame you if you want to turn me in, but I want to make it known that I am now making it my life’s mission to retrieve the lost Sisters, even if that means I am running from the law for the rest of my life. I know I have put you in a difficult spot, but all I ask is that you wait until I have fled before you go to the police. Can you do that much for me?”
There were so many thoughts swirling through your head, but you managed to gather the most vital ones to speak, looking up at him with doe eyes as you said, “How could I possibly stay in a place like this? Even if I were to follow another church, there is no telling how wide this operation runs. And I feel I have a responsibility to save my Sisters. If you will have me, I ask that you bring me along with you, Father. I will do whatever it takes to get them back.”
A large hand rested on your cheek, tilting your face up to meet his deep set eyes. You could sense the severity of his next words as he spoke softly, “There is no turning back from here. If you leave with me now, your life will change in almost every conceivable way. You will be following a new path that I can’t promise will lead to glory, but I can try my hardest to succeed and I’ll protect you no matter what. If this is truly what you want, you have to decide now. There are only a few hours till daybreak, and someone is bound to notice the missing clergy by breakfast time.”
Sitting up with more confidence, you said, “In the fields behind the church there is a shortcut to get into town. I can arrange for a carriage to pick us up and take us to the train station. From there, I’m not sure where to go next, but I will follow you wherever you go, Father.”
His hands cupped yours. He held onto them between your laps, and it was the first bit of warmth you felt since you entered the church.
“After what occurred, I no longer consider myself a man of the church. You may call me Hiromi.”
—
Months passed since you and Hiromi escaped from the village. The first couple weeks were spent laying low while also finding leads to where the missing Sisters could’ve gone. The news of the multiple homicides at the church enraptured your village in controversy for weeks, and for a period of time there was a manhunt in search for Hiromi’s head. But that slowly died out as the weather's harsh conditions forced people to stay inside and soon enough, time and people moved on.
Though the truth of your church leaders shook your faith, you couldn’t find it in your heart to part with your nun uniform just yet. Hiromi dressed in casual clothing to disguise himself since he was still a wanted man. He suggested at first that you wear day clothes to stay incognito, but the hesitant look on your face made him drop the subject. He understood that although you had chosen to follow his path, you still needed time to rectify what you went through. Or rather, what you were ignorant to. You didn’t see your name pop up in any of the papers, and there wasn’t a single report of missing nuns. It was possible that there were other members a part of this trafficking ring who didn’t want to raise any suspicion on women of the church gone missing. You had to wrap your head around the fact that if you fell victim to the clergy, no one would’ve ever known you had gone missing. No one but Hiromi.
He was truly a wonderful man, and you had no regrets about following him. His wits were as sharp as his tact, and he seemed far mature past his age despite already being ten years your senior. He wasn’t entirely affectionate or giddy, but he showed his compassion in everything he did. Though you try your hardest to be useful to him, he was the one who took care of you. It was hard for you to ignore how you felt whenever he patted your head as he made his way to bed after a long day, or how it felt when he held you close under a shared umbrella as the two of you passed through drizzling street corners. He never brought up your confession since that very night. A part of you wished you knew how he felt about it, even though the very idea made your cheeks flush. But none of that trumped the responsibilities you held now.
He typically didn’t want you on the scene whenever he located the whereabouts of a lost Sister, his excuse being that he rather have you off in the distance to call for help if things were to turn sour. But you knew that was needless since, on the off chance the police would arrive in time, he would be hauled off to jail for his own crimes. You knew the real reason was that he didn’t want to put you in harms way, but this time around you were able to persuade him to bring you along after insisting that there was no way for one person to handle all the moving parts themselves.
Presently, the two of you were following a lead that brought you to a speakeasy that gathered some of the most influential figures across the countryside. It was easy for Hiromi to blend into high class society with his good looks and choice of clothing. He had saved up enough money prior to his revolt to care for the two of you while also being able to afford the upkeep that came with the vanity of upper class society, though none were aware of the small loft he shared with you just outside of town. The first couple weeks after your escape were spent shacked up in various inns, but the two of you were able to settle where you were now for the past few months since this area seemed to be a hotspot for trafficking. It had just enough space for the two of you, with separate bedrooms and a small kitchen. It was nothing compared to the opulence the people you were surrounded by lived with on a day to day basis, but you were enjoying your somewhat domestic life with Hiromi.
The mission was going smoothly at first, with you getting in under the guise of being Hiromi’s plus one after he spoke the password at the guarded door. Soon after, you slipped away to the designated backdoor that fit the description Hiromi gave you earlier. Before going in, you spotted him chatting with a suit clad gentleman across the room before entering through a door that had security guards standing outside of it. When you were certain there were no eyes on you, you slipped into the backroom and made your way down the hall till you entered what looked to be a wide dressing room. Trying to act as inconspicuous as possible, you moved with intention while also keeping your eyes peeled for any familiar faces. There were many women all throughout, and you tried to think of what to do to not draw attention to yourself. You were in the perfect spot to get a look at everyone in the dimly lit room, and found yourself standing in front of a rack of clothing that you pretended to sift through before picking something out. You didn’t even pay attention to what you were putting on, just knowing that you had slipped on a silk babydoll over yourself. It was shorter and more low cut than the ones you were used to wearing to bed, but far more conservative than some of the skimpier items hanging up on the rack.
On the other end of the dressing room was a row of vanities lit with round bulbs and cluttered with various cosmetics, and you spotted a woman hiking up stockings over her bare legs. You recognized the mole on her cheek and quickly put your clothes back on before making your way to her. You called out her name in a low voice, causing her to turn her head in your direction like a deer in headlights. Once you removed your cloak and she saw your nun attire, she recognized you instantly and her face lit up as she addressed you as ‘Sister.’
Your pulse was pounding in your ears as you approached her, but stayed calm as you told her the ex-priest waiting outside with a parked carriage that would take her to the nearest train station. At first she seemed resistant, asking you if Sister Mei Mei sent you here, but the affirming look on your face was enough to tell her that she could trust you. There were so many emotions running across her face; disbelief, elation, fear and hope. It was the same look you got from every saved Sister, and though you wanted to join her in them, you needed to stay poised for times sake. Offering her your cloak, she thanked you with tears rimming her eyes before she kissed your cheek, scurrying off towards her new found freedom.
“Where’s Bambi going?” said a girl dressed in feathers and lace, face adorned with pearls that matched her sparkly white eyeshadow. It took you a moment to realize she was talking about your fellow Sister, and figured that had to have been the stage name she’d been using during her time here.
“I don’t know, I think she wasn’t feeling well,” you said, trying to act natural. That was hard to do when you were the most conservatively dressed amongst the women in lace and latex all around you. The woman you were speaking to looked you up and down, and scoffed as she pulled out a cigarette from somewhere within her elaborate costume.
“Well she was supposed to go to room A3, but I guess you’re going to have to fill her spot,” she said as she brought a lighter to the tip and inhaled deeply. It wasn’t till there was smoke coming out of her nostrils that she noticed the worried look on your face. “One of my regulars is here tonight, so don’t even think about asking me to cover.”
You looked off to the side as nerves wracked your body, and spotted a sign that read ‘Rooms A1-A8’ with an arrow pointed to the right. There were women turning down that very hall and disappearing into the shadows.
“Are you sure you belong here…?” she said with a suspicious tilt to her brow. “Do I need to go get the boss-?”
“No! Just nervous is all. I always get like this before… y’know,” you honestly didn’t know what you were supposed to be doing. But the woman seemed to take your word for it, and offered you a hit of her cigarette, which you politely declined as you turned and entered the dark hall.
—
Meanwhile in the private room Hiromi shared with the other men, tokens and cigars were being passed around. He stayed calm on the outside, but inside he was starting to feel nervous as more time passed. By now you were supposed to have ordered a martini to be delivered to him as your sign that it was time to meet back up with you and leave, but every time a waiter showed up with a tray, there was none of the sort. Some of the men were more than preoccupied with their game, probably betting their year's salary just for the fun of it. But the others, the ones he had to actively hold back his disdain for, were growing increasingly impatient waiting for their female guest to arrive. Through varying social events and drunken confessions given in taverns, he knew that some of the men at this table were avid participants in the trafficking ring, and paid hefty prices to take advantage of helpless women. But for his sake, and especially yours, he had to act cordial around them as he pretended to sip his bitter drink.
When the waiter slipped away with an empty tray, everyone's attention was brought to the small stage that stood at the front of the room. The velvet curtain was rustled, like someone trying to get a peak at the audience, and music started before anyone walked through.
“C’mon, sweetheart. Don’t be shy,” the man across from him said, making the others chuckle. Hiromi wondered if maybe you had got caught, and his mind was racing with ideas for backup plans if the lost Sister were to be the one to appear from behind the curtain. But all that was pushed aside when he saw you step forward to face the stage lights. It was evident to him that your whole body was shaking with nerves underneath the thick material of your habit.
All you did was stand there. It took him a moment to realize that it was probably hard for you to make out all the faces with the shining lights pointed directly at you. He kept his face neutral, but in his lap his fists were clenching and unclenching as he tried to think of what to do next.
The men around him laughed, assuming your attire to be some kind of joke. One of them leaned his head back to speak to the others, “I don’t know about you guys, but I think I like this one. Who knew we were in for a night of corruption, eh fellas?.”
More laughter before one said, “I’m going to have to go to confessionals after this one, yeah?”
“Or she is!”
They were like animals, all laughing unprovoked as liquor and smoke spilled from the corners of their mouths. One of the men grabbed a stack of cash from his back pocket and waved for you to come down as he said, “Come here, sweetheart.”
Of course it was the last one Hiromi wanted you in the presence of. He had heard from fellow cohorts how he runs through women with little care, and how he can get anything he wants with the absurd amount of money he has. But the only thing you could do was follow his commands as you made your way down the set of stairs that sat at the side of the stage. He met your eyes, and though you didn’t give anything away, there was an unspoken cry for help that filled him with a fierce protectiveness that burned deep within him.
You stood in front of the table, not looking at anyone in particular. However, all the attention was brought to the man who had spoken just before as he said, “Tell me, who’s your father?”
He waved the cash in your face in the most patronizing way as the men laughed like hyenas. Your fingers were laced tightly in front of you while you kept your head down, “I’m not sure, sir. I was an orphan.”
“Oh, she’s so innocent!”
“Well of course she is, she’s a nun after all.”
“Shut up,” was all he needed to say to cause the other men to go silent. When he turned back to you slowly, he leaned in much closer as he said, “Why don’t you let me be your daddy tonight, huh sweetheart?”
“Well…,” you started, and Hiromi could tell you were searching for your next words before saying. “I don’t think that’s fair to everyone else. Aren’t you playing a game?”
“Oooh, you hear that boss? She wants to raise the stakes.”
The man kept his eyes on you for longer than Hiromi liked, but finally said, “Alright. But you’re sitting on my lap.”
It sickened Hiromi to see you give in to him so easily, his hand sitting low on your hip as he pulled you in closer. Soon enough, all the men's attention was directed towards the game. They were all way more invested in the newest prize as compared to the petty cash they were playing for earlier, and Hiromi had to focus almost all of his attention on all the players moves in hopes of winning you. But in between all of that, he could see from the corners of his vision how the man that was under you would occasionally squeeze your hip, causing you to jump up a little. He held the dice in front of your lips, instructing you to blow on it before he made his toss. You followed all his demeaning commands, and with each one, it made Hiromi feel more and more guilty. You were never supposed to be here, and if he could take it all back, he’d find another way to save the wayward Sister, even if it meant it would take longer. He knew that wasn’t entirely noble, but that was a better outcome than what was currently happening.
Hiromi thought that maybe the excessive drinking would cause all the men to play poorly, but the one who easily had the most to drink was in the lead. Of course it was the man you were sitting atop of, who would whisper in your ear something that would cause your mouth to form a small ‘o’. Hiromi noticed the way your cheeks pinked when the man looked back at you with a grin, and for a brief moment a wave of jealousy passed over him. He knew he shouldn’t have felt that way, but there was no denying that he did. He hated seeing you all over another man, giggling and pressed up against his chest as his fingers played with any bit of you he could reach. For a moment he questioned if you were actually enjoying his attention, and it made Hiromi brew from the inside out.
“Game,” the man you were with announced, breaking Hiromi out of his bubble. His eyes met yours, and there was a silent plea that made him feel guilty for what he had just felt. Maybe if he wasn’t so focused on himself, he could’ve won this match. But it was like the nightmare was only evolving as he stood you up with him and tucked your arm under his.
“It’s been a lovely night, gentlemen,” he said with a sly grin as they all playfully cheered and booed him on. He made his way to the door, and Hiromi was close behind as the man led you outside of the building and down towards a foggy alleyway.
“Sir! Actually, if I could have a moment of your time,” Hiromi called out, jogging over to catch up with the two of you. He acted like you weren't there as he said, “It’s about the charity donation.”
“Can’t you see I’m busy. Drop by my office on Monday if you want to talk business,” he said dismissively as he turned and guided you farther down the alleyway towards the dead-end that was littered with tin garbage bins and broken beer bottles, clearly intending on claiming his prize as soon as possible. Hiromi tried getting his attention once again, earning an unfriendly hand gesture.
What made him snap was the helpless look in your eyes that you passed over your shoulder in his direction. They were wide and scared, and it was the last straw that made his mind go blank, much similar to the night he offed the clergy. All he was focused on was eliminating the threat, and it was like something deep in his subconscious took over his body and made him stride forward to pick up a half broken bottle off the ground before tugging your shoulder back before swinging his arm back to lunge for his target.
It's like he wasn’t awake. Like he was in a dream. No, a nightmare. A nightmare filled with red. Red, red, red, red, red. Red in streams. Staining a pristine white collar. Jutting out the neck of the man he didn’t even realize he had pinned to the brick wall with his forearm as the other held the bloody weapon. The man was trying to say something, but it was muffled by gurgling noises as blood started to slip past his teeth. He witnessed the man's life leaving his body before he was being pulled back, and it was like he was shaken awake as he finally dropped the glass. He couldn’t do much, but he knew he was being led out of the alleyway and immediately into a carriage. He could hear you tell the driver the address before sitting inside next to him, and frantically wiped the droplets of blood on his face with a spare handkerchief you must’ve kept in one of your dress pockets. The rest of the way back to the loft was like his mind was on autopilot.
He didn’t feel anything. He knew he would feel guilty later for what he did. Not for killing the man, but for forcing you to witness. But he couldn’t feel that right now. He was just numb.
—
Hiromi was clearly in a state of shock even after the two of you arrived home, but the entire trip back was spent making sure no one would notice the spaced out man with splatters of blood across his clothes. Luckily there was hardly anyone out due to how late it was. it wasn’t until the two of you were behind closed doors that you could give him your undivided attention, guiding him towards the bathroom with the promise that you’ll clean him up. You weren’t sure if he was even registering what you were saying, his face still showing that same terrifying blank look even as you got the shower started. You needed to clean the blood off of him, but also hoped that maybe the water could wake him from this trance. He had worn a simple black suit with a white button up this evening, but upon further inspection you could see he was covered in so much blood. You explained everything you were doing as you were doing it, nimble fingers going up to undo his buttons. You made quick work of taking his pants off after slipping off his shoes, averting your eyes while the slacks slid down his slim legs. You directed your gaze to the ground as you helped him step out of his pants before standing up, guiding him into the shower. There were already pools of red collecting at his feet, but he just stood there staring straight ahead; frozen, not even blinking as washed up blood spilled down from his hair and ran down his face.
With modesty out of the question, you took off your now stained dress before stepping into the shower to stand in front of him. Water sprinkled all over you as you reached for the shampoo, your silk slip that you had completely forgotten you had on now clinging to your skin. Remembering that you had something so risque on caused your shaking hands to knock over the bottle you were reaching for. It clattered to the floor, echoing off the tile walls that caused you to wince from how loud it was. Hiromi seemed to notice, and looked at the top of your head while you were bent down in front of him.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean t-”
Your voice caught in your throat, heart nearly skipped a beat at the sight before you. He no longer looked out of it, but he had a frighteningly stern look on his face as he stared down at you. Red tinged droplets fell all across his face and down his shoulders. He resembled some kind of warlord caught in a rainstorm after a bloody battle, his dark hair clinging to the sides of his head while he fixed his deep gaze on you. You stayed where you were kneeled before him, not sure if you were afraid or something else. The only thing that came from his parted lips was your name. It was in a tone you never heard him use before, making the already humid air feel thick between the two of you. You were about to address him back when something between the two of you twitched to life, causing your eyes to instinctually travel down to a place you were previously trying to ignore. Just as quickly, you darted your eyes away as you stood back up, busying yourself with putting soap in your hands.
“Let me clean your hair,” you peeped out before directing him to turn around. Even with his head tilted back you were still on your tiptoes half the time as you lathered his scalp. At first there was nothing but the sounds of running water as you directed him to put his head under the water before going back in with more soap, not satisfied with how red the water still was as it pooled into the drain. Just as it started to run clear, you heard him say something. “What was that?”
“You shouldn’t have seen that,” he said with his back still turned to you. As your hands fell to your sides, they accidentally lingered on his skin for too long, and you noticed goosebumps form on his arms despite the warm temperature of the water.
“It’s okay-”
“No, it’s not. I never wanted you to have to see me kill again. I can’t… I can’t protect you-”
“But you did protect me!” you said while turning him to face you. His eyes were sharp and brooding but you didn’t let that shake you as you continued, “You think I don’t feel guilty too? Neither of us could’ve guessed how this night could’ve gone, but it happened. And for your information, I found the Sister. She should be on her way to her family right now. So really, you saved two people tonight.”
“That’s how you see it? After witnessing me bludgeon a man?” he said, taking a step closer to you. The shower was narrow and only really suited for one person, the proximity caused water droplets to fall from his skin onto yours. “Choosing to see the good in everything doesn’t always negate the bad. It’s a dangerous way of thinking.”
Despite your heart pounding through your chest, you threw your shoulders back as you said softly, “I feel safe with you.”
“You shouldn’t,” the shadows under his eyes nearly covering half his face.
“You would never hurt me.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, but-”
“Then don’t,” your retort sounded childish, but you pressed on, not wanting this conversation to go down a dark path that would lead to you being separated from him. “I know the kind of man you are. You have more control than you give yourself credit for.”
He was standing so close to you that you were almost chest to chest with him as his face hovered over yours. You watched a droplet of water collect on his bottom lip, and had to control the urge to catch it with your tongue before it fell. He must’ve noticed your slight loss in focus, and his arms went up to either side of your head, palms planted on the tile wall behind you. His pupils were dilated as he said, “I almost killed you that night. Back at the church.”
“You can’t scare me with the past.”
“I’m warning you of the future.”
“I’m not leaving.”
“Even after what you’ve just seen?”
For some reason it didn’t feel like he was referring to the killing, and that was confirmed by the pulsing of his growing erection against your stomach. You couldn’t ignore it anymore, and looked down to see that it was pulling taught on the thin material of his soaked briefs. Your hands still had a slight tremor to them, but they reached out to graze his abdomen, traveling down the line of hair that sat below his navel and disappeared behind his underwear. He didn’t move, but your hands stopped just above the waistband to look back up at him. He had been looking down at your wet form, at the slip that was clinging to your skin, outlining your entire form to him. From the dip of your navel to the buds of your breasts. When his eyes finally went back up to meet yours, you uttered his name in a small, needy voice. It was all you could say in hopes that he would catch on, and luckily he was merciful enough to take action. In an instant you were pressed up against the wall of the shower, hands curling around his back as his lips met yours. You weren’t practiced in kissing, but Hiromi took the lead as he guided your lips with his. It wasn’t long till the soft slow kisses turned into heavy wet ones, and the graze of his tongue across your lips only made you hungry for more. He seemed just as impatient, and you squealed when he picked you up and wrapped your legs around his hips. His long fingers dug into the flesh of your thighs as he pressed in even closer to you. You could feel his cock pressed up between your ass, and the both of you gyrated against each other in search of some friction. What had been building up all this time, even before you went on the run with him, had finally pushed you to this moment and you still selfishly needed more.
His head ducked down to start kissing your neck, causing an uncontrollable tremor to crawl up your body, making it hard for you to speak. You moaned his name over and over until you tugged at his hair, forcing him to latch off of your tender skin so he could look at you. You hoped that the steaming water hid how flustered you were, and with trembling lips you said, “M-more…”
He pressed his forehead against the tile as he let out a frustrated growl. It sounded more like he was speaking to himself as he said, “I’m certainly going to hell after this.”
Before you could respond, he set you down gently on your feet before turning the water off. It wasn’t till you stepped out that you remembered that it was still winter, and the cool air of the loft touching your heated skin instantly made you shiver. Hiromi handed you a towel, which you used to dry off your limbs before gently ringing the water out of your hair. The next time you looked towards him, he was already slipping down his underwear, causing your cheeks to flair as you saw his cock spring free. It stood heavy and erect, and you didn’t take your eyes away in time for him to catch you aweing at it. You turned and hid your face behind the towel, but soon felt an arm loop around your waist and pull you in so you were pressed up against his chest. There was a flirty look on his face as he ran his finger up your thigh till they started to lift the hem of your slip, “You should probably take this off.”
He stepped back to watch you strip, and as you did, every inch of skin that was exposed from underneath felt chilled as the material was removed from your body. You watched his expression closely, to see if there were any signs that he might not like what he was seeing, but his eyes were fixated on your hardened nipples, causing more blood to swell to the tip of his cock. You weren’t sure how much longer you could take him looking at you like that before you turned into a puddle at his feet, and you stepped forward to wrap your arms around him to say, “I’m getting cold, Hiromi.”
“Let’s warm you up then,” he affirmed. It didn’t take long for the two of you to reach the bed, and he pulled back the sheets for you. You laid back in nervous anticipation as you watched him pull the sheet over your body. What you didn’t expect was for him to crawl under till he was hovered over you, completely hidden beneath the comforter. Your breath hitched as he lowered himself down to start kissing your skin, leaving behind a blazing trail as it traveled down your chest and abdomen. You weren’t sure what he was doing until you felt his hands grip your hips as his lips gradually started to make its way down your mound. Your hips twitched as he sucked on your inner thigh, and you raised yourself up on your elbows as you looked down at the lump of fabric he had formed as you said, “What are you doing?!”
He pulled back just enough that you could feel his warm breath between your thighs as he said, “My apologies, I’m getting too ahead of myself. I have to remind myself that you’re a good girl. Can you spread your legs for me, dear. I won’t do anything yet.”
You most definitely wanted him to do something, you just weren’t sure why he was all the way down there. But you did as you were told and spread your legs on either side of his head. You were completely exposed to him now and you had to grip the sheets as he spoke just above your dripping sex, “I want to put my mouth all over this.”
One of your hands went up to your lips as you gaped up at the ceiling, “Is that…. Okay?”
He huffed a laugh that blanketed over your cunt, almost making you squeeze his head with your thighs, “As long as you’re okay with it, I am.”
“But… Will it make you feel good?” you asked, wondering how he would derive pleasure from just having his mouth on you. But he seemed almost amused by your question before he responded.
“Yes, dear, it will.”
You didn’t want to keep bombarding him with questions, but you had to ask, “And what am I supposed to do?”
“You just need to relax,” one of his hands went up to gently push you down so you were laying flat on the bed again. The hand went down your waist, slowly making its way back to your hip as he said, “..And pray that I’ll ever come back up.”
Before you could ask what he meant by that, his head dove down between your legs as his mouth started to explore your cunt. It was so much more intense than the times you had touched yourself, so much softer and warm that it was like there was no wrong place for him to go. Your thighs trembled when his tongue licked a long stripe up your entire cunt, and his arms circled around your thighs to hold them back. You tried to control yourself, but every time he got closer to your bundle of nerves, your fingers dug deeper into the sheets below you. Blinking away the stars from your vision, you looked down to see the sheet move with every bob of his head. Though a part of you wanted to see what he was doing, there was something appealing about only getting the outline as his head rhythmically moved up and down your cunt. You started to move your hips with him, applying more pressure where you needed it most. He was struggling to catch all of your arousal on his tongue, and buried his face deeper in you till you felt his broad nose bridge press up against your clit. It caused an uncontrollable noise to fall from your lips, and he repeated the motion just to hear it again.
Of all the times you’ve touched yourself before, you never felt your climax build up this quickly. But you knew it was just on the horizon as he wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking and flicking it with his tongue. You knew what you did next was throwing him off his rhythm, but you couldn’t control yourself from circling his head with your legs as you pressed your cunt against him, only needing to jut your hips up a few times before your orgasm washed over you. That too was more intense, feeling like waves of relief washing over you till you were light as a feather. He lapped up your release, causing you to twitch and groan a little from overstimulation. He eventually pulled back to continue kissing and massaging the soft flesh of your inner thighs while you caught your breath.
Once you were steady, you assumed he would crawl out from under the sheets, but soon understood that he meant what he said earlier. He would wait till you were settled before picking up on the ministrations that would have you cumming on his face every time. At first it would feel like you couldn’t possibly take any more, but then he would pull back to massage your cunt with his chin before putting his tongue in your entrance. It was so lude that you were about to ask if he could actually like doing this, but then he let out a groan against you that had you speaking one in return. He was like a man starved, and at a certain point you finally let go of all your reservations and let yourself be fucked by his tongue.
The white hot bliss from cumming multiple times had you in a daze, and you didn’t even notice he was sitting up till the sheet was lifted off your body. You definitely felt warm now, but your nipples hardened as they were in full view of his hungry gaze. The whole lower half of his face was glistening under the dim moonlight, and you watched as he scooted himself forward till his hips were pressed up against your backside. He took his time kissing down your legs before hovering over you, and spoke against the swell of your breast as he said, “Can I fuck you properly now?”
“Yes, Hiromi. Please!”
The growing need for him was becoming unbearable, and though you should’ve been more patient, you were ready to beg if need be. Luckily, he took mercy and sat up to start lining himself up to you. Sitting up on your elbows, you watched curiously as he pushed the head in. It didn’t hurt, but it was such a foreign feeling that it made you let out a gasp. He asked if you were okay, leaning down on one arm while the others gripping your thigh. You nodded frantically, and he smiled softly before kissing the top of your forehead. When he pulled back, his eyes were on yours as he sheathed himself inside of you. The sight of your eyes growing wide and glossy was angelic to him, and he swore to himself that he would make you feel better than you ever had in your life.
Once he sensed you were comfortable with the stretch, he sat up and grabbed your hips to start thrusting in you uninhibitedly. Your eyes got impossibly wide as you felt him fuck into you, gripping the sheets knuckle white. One of his hands went down to grab your jiggling breast, thumb playing with your nipple. It felt alright at first, but then he caught it between two fingers and tugged, causing a familiar feeling to travel down to your clit. You watched in amazement as he repeated that a few times before instructing you to do it yourself. You felt embarrassed playing with yourself like that in front of another person, but he was watching you like you were an art creation in the making. Then he said something that caught you off guard.
“Is this where you’d touch yourself when you thought of me,” he said with a sly look, a hand going down to thumb at your clit. It made you jolt to attention, and you turned your cheek to hide your raging blush.
“I thought you had forgotten about that…”
“I respect you too much to bring it up before. But I never forgot,” his face tilted to the side as he looked down at you. The heat was building up quicker with each stroke of his thumb, but he kept your attention by saying, “Tell me what you’d think about back then.”
“Well…,” you stalled, not sure if you had the courage to confess something that was already so shameful the first time. But looking back up at him, you knew there was no avoiding it. “I’d try to do it when I was alone but… It was hard, considering the nuns quarters had little privacy. I’d usually have to.. Wait late at night for everyone to be asleep. I’d lie on my stomach and put my hand between my legs under the blanket.”
You could see his eyes dilate in the dim light as he considered your words. You were afraid that you had said the wrong thing as he pulled out of you, but the corners of his lips turned up as he grabbed your hips and gently turned you so your back was facing him. You looked back at him with knitted brows, but he was already leaning in close and said, “So you’d do it while they’re in the same room?”
“I mean… Not purposely…,” you said gingerly, feeling his shaft press up against your backside. Your palms went up to plant on either side of your head as he raised your hips up to meet his. You squirmed under his touch, hoping that he’d fill you up once again, but he still intended to get some teasing out the way.
As he lined himself up to press against your waiting hole, he asked in an almost casual tone, “What if they heard you?”
“No! I was always sure to be silent,” you said as you pressed a cheek into the sheets, feeling them heat up as the fat tip of his cock started to push back into you.
“I have a hard time believing that.”
“I swear! I never- augh!”
The feeling of him suddenly filling you up again was one thing, but the new angle brought stars to your vision as his cock brushed against the most sensitive part of your walls. It made you arch your back even harder despite the ache, and you gripped the sheets as he pumped into you.
“I have a hard time believing that with how vocal you are right now,” he said, sensing his grin just off from your peripheral.
“I was never-... This isn’t the same!”
“Is it even better? To have the real thing?” he asked as a hand went across your chest to cup your breast. He squeezed it as his lips went down to taste the burning skin on your neck.
“Yes, Father! I-I mean…”
His hips stuttered out of motion, and though you couldn’t see it, his eyes widened as he raised himself from the palms of his hands. He was hovering over you, still buried inside of you despite not moving. Panic coursed through you as you tried to verbalize a way to apologize for your slip up, but was interrupted when he said in a low voice, “You are always so full of surprises.”
“I’m so sorry Hiromi! I didn’t mean-”
“No,” he silenced you with just that one word before he lowered himself down so his chest was pressed against your back. This time when one of his hands went around your front, he held onto the column of your throat as he continued with, “If you’re going to address me as that, I need to hear you begging for mercy.”
He finished that statement with a harsh strike to the side of your ass, making you jolt. He used that as an opportunity to pull you in closer, the back of your head now resting on his shoulder while his fingers pressed onto the side of your neck.
“Pray for the hope that there will be any part of you worth redeeming by the time I’m done with you. Or have you already succumbed to your own lust?”
“No, Father, I… I want to be saved…,” you still couldn’t believe he was okay with this, but you were getting impossibly more aroused by the title. Just you saying it in your meek little voice got him excited enough to start ramming into you again, and you let out uncontrollable noises as you gasped for air. While he balanced himself on his elbow by the hand holding your throat, the other went down to grip your hips and angle them up. In this position it felt impossibly deep, and you started to blink back tears as he stretched you out so good.
“You look like you’re enjoying this far too much. Have you no shame?”
“Yes, Father, it’s just… it feels-“
He shushed you, lips to your temple to give it a chaste kiss before pulling back to say, “Don’t be. I’ll always be there to make you feel good.”
“You will?” you asked stupidly, words getting increasingly more difficult to string together. He was putting just enough pressure on your throat to make your brain go foggy. The room was filled with the smell of sex along with the slapping sounds of skin as you said ‘Yes, Father’ over and over between moans. Hiromi wished he could see your expressions head on, but he settled for the noises slipping from your pretty throat, loosening his grasp on it so they could spill unabashedly.
When his hand went down between your legs, tears were brimming your eyes as calloused fingers started to massage your bud. Your body jolted once again, and this time he flipped the both of you over simultaneously so you were lying flat atop of him. Before you could tell what he was doing, he raised his knees to further spread your legs apart and start pistoning inside you. It knocked the breath out of you, and your head rolled back over his shoulder as his arms snaked around your waist. Deft fingers found your clit once again, and his pace sped up as the both of you were getting close. One of your arms went up to lace your fingers in his hair as you spoke brokenly in his ear, “Please, Father… Bless me with your seed.”
“Oh, fuck-” he said as his eyes rolled back, feeling you clench impossibly tight around him as your words clouded his better judgment. He didn’t think a good girl like you could say such profane things, but every part of you showed how much you wanted to be filled. From the wetness of your cunt between both of your thighs to the way your chest heaved with the weight of heavy desire. You begged and begged and begged for his seed, and the tipping point was when you came all around him, moaning so heavenly that he was willing to pay whatever price came in this life or the next if it meant he could be one with you.
Just as you were coming down from your high, you felt warm liquid pool inside of you, filling you with every pulse of his cock. As his hips slowed, you started to feel it pour out of you, and even more so when he finally pulled out. He turned you over so the two of you were leaning on your sides, his arms still wrapped around you as he pulled you in close. More of his cum could be felt running down your thighs, but neither of you had the energy to clean up just yet.
Hiromi didn’t regret what he did, but he spoke his thoughts out loud as he said, “Have I really corrupted an angel like you?”
Sleep was overcoming you, but you had just enough energy to turn and face him, speaking as your heavy eyelids drew shut.
“I lost my religion a long time ago.”