Chapter Text
[ID:A Psychonauts fanfic banner on a black-to-gray gradient background. On the left in white text it says “Prompt #7: What Have I Done?” On the right is a bright red animated figment of an open Psycho-Portal with scribbles inside. /end ID]
The first time Ford sees her on that warm summer night, the rest of the world turns fuzzy. Her eyes catch his immediately, and his heart flutters, his face flushing. She hasn't even spoken yet, and already something about her is making him smile like an idiot. It takes him a moment to realize Otto has been talking. With a jolt and a stutter he asks Otto to repeat his words, but his friend's voice only fades into the background once again, and Ford's gaze is on her once more.
He can't help but notice, she's smiling too.
Otto is saying something, but he can't hear him. The world has turned fuzzy, and all he can see is Lucy's smiling face in the photograph on the table, and the letter in his shaking hands.
The first time Ford sees her powers, he can only stare in awe. His and Otto's attempts at hydrokinesis had resulted in mere bubbles and splashes, which they'd had fun fooling around with, splashing each other when one wasn't looking.
Lucy is not fooling around. With a mere thought, she commands the water as though it were an extension of her outstretched hand. She moves with grace and precision, yet with enough power that their previous mining efforts are dwarfed in comparison. Massive waves wash away dirt and stone and other minerals and draw heaps of glowing crystals to their feet, leaving not a droplet behind.
Bob and Helmut link trembling hands, and a nearby vine beckons Ford nearer.
The television screen is small and colorless, and the figure in the distance is barely discernible. But her command of water is unmistakable, even though it is people, not stones, that it brings to her feet.
The first time Ford enters Lucy's mind is among one of the first times he has ever entered a mind. It is frightening yet fascinating as he sets foot on a giant quilt that undulates like gentle ocean waves. Buildings made of patchwork resemble a town from a faraway place, like something out of a picture book. Though he is attacked by the same small creatures he had seen in Otto's mind, this world is vastly different. Some of it is locked away to him, however, and he urges Lucy to open her mind more, eager to explore this uncharted territory.
They have explored the Gulch, their psychic powers, and each other's minds, but the war room is entirely uncharted territory. The government was never supposed to be involved, and yet here were politicians representing every country Ford had ever known and then some, all of them begging their little friend group to please do something. They speak of the horrors this "monster" has committed, and one points out that they have no idea what she will do next.
But they say that Ford and his group of psychic heroes—surely they must know what lies in the mind of this madwoman.
Ford and the others exchange worried glances. He knows what he put into her mind... but none of them know what has happened to it now.
When Ford continually pushes Lucy to open up more, he feels no deep worry or fear. Over the years they'd known each other, they had explored each other's minds, probing into the depths, looking for what new wonders there were to find.
Memory Vaults remain open, frolicking through the mindscape with their mouths agape. Exposure to certain substances sooth Doubts and Regrets and make Censors sluggish to act, allowing for more ease of exploration. New doors open, allowing for more and more depths to explore.
In spite of her dulled inhibitors, Lucy expresses her fear sometimes, unsure if they're pushing each other too far. But Ford assures her that all is safe, here. Nothing can reach them here in the Gulch, and he puts her hands in his own, assuring her that she can trust him.
They are far from any troubles.
The helicopter takes them far, far from the Gulch. The ride is silent and tense, no one saying a word, even over telepathy—or none of them speak to Ford, anyway. Bob and Helmut stare at their interlinked hands, Cassie and Compton huddle close, and Otto looks blankly ahead, his face unreadable.
None of them meet his gaze.
Her horrified gasp shatters their peaceful morning. Lucy stares at the newspaper for an eternity before it drops from her shaking hands, and her sister's name leaves her trembling lips.
Ford's immediate thought is to comfort and reassure her, but she's already packing her bags, deaf to his words.
His words of comfort soon turn to pleas to stay—everything's changing too fast. Their minds are different. She doesn't know what will happen. (He doesn't know what will happen.) But she insists that she must leave, she must help her sister, and nothing he can say will sway her.
It's when she leaves, taking off riding on a wave, that it strikes him that they'd never taken the time to close up their minds. But he tries to reassure himself—he knows her. She won't let anything harmful into her mind, and they'll see each other again, once this is all over.
The first time Ford sees Maligula, he does not recognize her. He's not alone, as all of them stare at her in horror, wondering at the identity of this monster standing before them.
It's not until Bob calls out to everyone that this is Lucy—that this is their friend—that recognition sets in, and nearly brings Ford to his knees. This is it—this was Lucy who brought those people to her feet, who wiped this country off the map, who let this terrible darkness into her heart—or out of it.
...But she hadn't done that alone.
It was Ford who had begged her to open those doors in her mind in the first place.
And he stands before Maligula, a single horrified thought running through his mind:
What have I done?