Chapter Text
@Death hoe - ONLINE
Death hoe - 7:20 am
ATSUSHIIIIIIII
Meow Bitch - 7:21 am
why did you change my name?
again
I hate you Dazai.
Death hoe - 7:23 am
love you too <3
Meow Bitch - 7:24 am
what do you want anygays?
*anyways
OMG FUCK AUTOCORRECTTT
Death hoe - 7:24 am
Sure...
autocorrect
you know the new boy in your class
Akutagawa
Meow Bitch - 7:26 am
yeah?
what about the new boy?
Death hoe - 7:29 am
he may or may not be your new roommie
for the next semester which is great!!!
Meow Bitch - 7:38 am
Dazai I SWEAR TO CHRIST IF YOU STALKED HIM
....
Death hoe - 7:38 am
arent you an atheist or something?
also what took you so long to respond
Meow Bitch - 7:40 am
I was face palming at how reckless you are
and even if am an atheist doesn't mean I can do it if I want to?
since those who believe in Christianity or whatever can say his name in vain?
Death hoe - 7:41 am
stop trying to get smart with me.
your not him Atsushi.
Meow Bitch - 7:42 am
Who is 'him'?
and me and this so-called 'him' act alike?
does he go here or something?
Death hoe - 7:42 am
It's like a trend joke or whatever
keep up with the program old man
Meow Bitch - 7:47 am
sorry I forgot how to use face id for a second
anyways I am with the program!
ALSO UR OLDER THAN ME DIM WIT!!??
(question what is this program were talking about?)
Death hoe - 7:48 am
Omg we need to stay on topic
Akutagawa
We were talking about Akutagawa
Meow Bitch - 7:50 am
oh right
wait Dazai last time
didn't you say he was your ex?
Death hoe - 7:51 am
finallyyy i was wondering when you were going to bring it up damn
but yeah
and i bet you want to know some tips huh?
Meow Bitch - 7:52 am
considering you
you guys broke up for a reason
and the reason was probably the fact ur actually insane /srs
Death hoe - 7:53 am
No am not.
I just have a few issues.
Meow Bitch - 7:54 am
JUST YESTERDAY YOU TRIED KINNING NEEDING FUCKING HELP
IT'S MORE THAN A FEW ISSUES
YOUR MANIC
YOU NEED HELP
YOUR MISSING A LOT OF THINGS UP THERE 'SAMUU
........
you know what your a lost case anyways
why bother
Death hoe - 7:56 am
thats what i say everyday
why bother living tbh
it's so boring lmao
Meow Bitch - 7:57 am
hey hey heyyyy
don't start getting serious on me now
(not like I wasn't being serious or anything)
yk i hate when you say shit like that samu....
Death hoe - 7:57 am
Alright anyways
back to Akutagawa
my wonderful ex
he may not see me as wonderful but hey
are relationship was pretty toxic so yeah
Meow Bitch - 8:00 am
wdym?
Death hoe - 8:01 am
I was jealous often
and a little overprotective
and by that I mean a lot....
and he hung to my every word
dependent on my love
I told him stop hanging out with his friends
he did it
I told him to start covering up more and wear my clothes often
he did just that
the worse it got was when I told him to stop interacting with everyone unless told to
including his own sister
and guess what...he did it perfectly
it wasn't healthy for either of us
so I broke it off
Meow Bitch - 8:02 am
damn....
samu....
I probably wouldn't want to date him then
what if he's like that with me
that scary tbh
Death hoe - 8:04 am
oh no no no
he won't be like that with you for sure
he's somehow still so loyal after everything i've done to him
It wasn't the fact I was his bf that he did all that
we have history that backtracks for yearsssss
maybe even before we were born as well
it is complicated, and I don't want to go into detail
the thought of it all is just so overwhelming
Meow Bitch - 8:08 am
history you say...
ok I won't pry about it if you don't want me too
but can you just give me some do's and don't please
thats it
class about to start soon anyways
Death hoe - 8:10 am
Alright automatic dont
never touch his coat (well my coat but don't bring it up)
that thing is like this life ok?
Meow Bitch - 8:12 am
let me guess it part of the "history"
or whatever
Death hoe - 8:15 am
precisely
Meow Bitch - 8:15 am
I figured
Death hoe - 8:16 am
another dont
his body is a very sensetive topic
bring it up and your dead
also don't bring up how many friends he has
that will leave you in a grave
NEVER EVER EVER touch him randomly
those give him horrible panic attacks
Also be sure to never randomly bring me up
also they give shorter panic attacks, but he will cry to make up for the duration
and I think those are the main don't
Meow Bitch - 8:17 am
those all seem like basic things
I can do that
Death hoe - 8:19 am
now onto do's
flirt with him, it makes him happy
(something to do with the history)
if you can touch him, please touch his hair
and compliment it, that will make him 1000% so happy like help
Always stay by his side even when he tells you to go
it's a trap, so don't fall for it
if he ever starts getting "serious" with you (suicide, self-harm,etc)
don't comfort him or anything I FUCKING MEAN THIS ONE
it's not going to end well, but listen and be there don't talk or make a sound
unless he or his sister gives you permission dont treat him like at all
it doesn't matter if he's bleeding dead, wait for him to tell you to do something
all of this might sound complicated but just do it
also he likes figs and tea (with to much sugar)
Meow Bitch - 8:20 am
Why is the last one so out of place..
also am scared about some of these
but i'll try to follow through with them
Death hoe - 8:21 am
good
now am off to find a pretty girl to commit double suicide with yay!
bye tsushi <3
Meow Bitch - 8:22 am
bye dazai.
am going to ignore the suicide joke you made
just now...
Death hoe - 8:27 am
who said I was joking?
Meow Bitch - 8:28 am
going to ignore.
going to ignore.
going to fucking ignore.
Death hoe - 8:29 am
whatever helps you sleep Atsushi
@Meow Bitch is offline
@Death hoe is offline
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