Work Text:
The Unstoppable Force Vs The Annoying Object
“You know what? I can do better in person,” Peter Parker says as he heads for Avengers Tower after changing into his costume after his humiliating phone call to Ms. Marvel that ended in a voicemail.
But as he arrived at Avengers Tower, Spider-Man spider sense barely warned him of an incoming object, and he dodged the incoming form of the Hulk, smashing into the penthouse with great force.
“Hulk buddy, are you okay? You’re looking a little groggy there,” Spider-Man asks the Hulk, who looks like he is about to reply but passes out before saying anything, making Spider-Man very scared of who could do this to the giant green rage machine.
“Who on Earth threw Hulk? Who on Earth could throw Hulk?” Spider-Man asked the universe only to hear a crashing sound and watch buildings crumble nearby in the street below.
I guess it’s that way. Let’s find out who did this. Wait, was this why Ms. Marvel didn’t pick up? I hope she’s not hurt,” Spider-Man said as he swung off to help in the direction of the chaos, hoping the other Avengers were alright, including the young girl he did not realize he had a crush on.
-
Ms. Marvel screamed as she was knocked to the ground by Juggernaut, the last Avenger standing of the Iron Man, Black Widow, Captain America, and Hulk team.
The powerful villain had been robbing a bank of all things for all his might, but Juggernaut’s strength made him meet the level of needing the Avengers to step in, despite the team often being more focused on broader-scale threats.
Too bad for Earth’s mightiest team, the Juggernaut was more than a match for them, even when Iron Man called the Hulk Buster to allow him to tag team with Hulk against the unstoppable foe.
Hulk and Iron Man lasted a few minutes before the Juggernaut ripped Iron Man out of the Hulk Buster and threw him at Captain America and Black Widow. The billionaire had already taken a fair bit of a beating getting removed from the Hulk Buster, so he was a giant deadweight when he collided with the other two heroes.
Hulk and the polymorph were all that was left to fight the brute until an uppercut sent Hulk flying, leaving Ms. Marvel all alone.
Before the Inhuman could get to her feet, Juggernaut grabbed her by the arms with one of his massive hands and her ankles with the other before beginning to pull.
“Wonder how much seeing their sidekick in two pieces will…hey! Stop that!” Juggernaut started to speak mockingly, only to grow annoyed as Ms. Marvel used her stretchy powers to avoid being torn in two.
“No…happening! And…not…a…sidekick!” Ms. Marvel said through gritted teeth as she kept stretching, each attempt of the powerful supervillain to pull her part making her counter-stretch further.
“Juggernaut looked like he was torn between growling in anger and letting out a resort when a white hit him over the eye holes of his helmet.
Juggernaut dropped the polymorph to get the sticky substance out of his eyes while Ms. Marvel was stunned to see her former friend touch down in front of her in his old red and blue costume over the edgy black and red one.
“Hey, Ms. M, need a hand? I see you had a growth spurt while I was away. Man, I’ll need to guzzle a lot of milk to catch up,” Spider-Man joked in his former dorky way, making the Inhuman blink in confusion instead of scowling like she might have done at seeing him so soon after the incident with MODOC. Then she looked down at her body and yelped to see she was still heavily stretched from when Juggernaut tried to rip her in two.
As Ms. Marvel fixed her humiliating state, Juggernaut finally removed the webbing from his face and began menacingly stomping toward Spider-Man, cracking his knuckles as he said, “I don’t know who you are, little man, but you made the mistake of getting in my way!”
Juggernaut tried to swing his fist at Spider-Man, but the young hero easily dodged the blow.
“Hey, I’m not a little man! I’m the Amazing Spider-Man! Now, what is your deal? HYDRA enforcer? AIM’s newest attempt at a super-powered soldier? Vanguard of an alien invasion? What have you at odds with Earth’s Mightiest?” Spider-Man asked while dodging every blow of the unstoppable force of evil.
“I’m the Juggernaut! They got in my way of getting my loot, just like you are now!” Juggernaut roared, growing angrier with each blow he could not land on Spider-Man due to his ability and spider-sense. However, the villain grew so confused that the boy jumped away and looked back and forth between him and Ms. Marvel.
“Um…okay, back up! The Avengers are fighting the muscle of a group of bank robbers now? I thought Jameson said ‘I’ was better than ever, but you guys clearly think I’m still lacking if you demoted yourselves for this kind of stuff!” Spider-Man ranted, and both Juggernaut and Ms. Marvel blinked in confusion.
“Team? What Team? I don’t need no team to deal with wimps like the Aven…” Juggernaut started to say but was cut off by Spider-Man unleashing a barrage of punches and kicks, ending with the young man landing on Juggernaut’s back and trying to twist the giant villain’s arm.
“Say, uncle!” Spider-Man demanded as he strained to pull the massive arm back, but the magically powered giant was unimpressed by the showing, so he marched towards a nearby building.
“How about I take you for a ride instead, you slippery pest!” Juggernaut replied with a wicked smirk as he easily charged forward and smashed through the wall, and Spider-Man let out a series of loud ows with each crash.
Ms. Marvel could wince with each crash and ow, but at that same time, she inwardly smirked at seeing the jerk get some karma from before.
‘I know it’s petty, but I got to see this. Plus, keep track of Mr. Superior’s collateral damage when he stops goofing around and goes all aggressive,’ Ms. Marvel thought as she chased after the rampaging supervillain and his hitchhiker.
At the same time, Captain America weakly stirred and asked, “Nat, you still alive?”
Black Widow groaned in pain as she said, “Yes…but I think Tony will be out for a while, and the only one who could get him and his suit off us just ran off after Juggernaut and Spider-Man.”
Both heroes sighed in defeat as they tried to get Iron Man off them. Or, at the very least, get one of their hands free to reach their ear communicators and call for help.
-
Several blocks over, Juggernaut emerged from a new building, having changed through several walls over multiple structures, with Spider-Man no longer in tow. The Goliath grumbled as he came out of the hole, “Blasted nuisance, now I need to go back for the money I left near the Avengers.”
Inside the building, Spider-Man was on his back, groaning in pain and saying, “Why did I need to get my body back now? Why could Ock not be the one to deal with this guy…oh, wait…this guy seems more unstoppable than Venom. Doubt Ock would have done much better.”
Weakly getting up, Spider-Man heads out and swings after Juggernaut, not noticing the particular polymorph hiding among the rubble by shrinking her body.
“What did he mean by getting his body ba…oh…it wasn’t aliens…wait, that means that was a different jerk with MODOC! Spidey needs backup! But we got our butts kicked with Hulk, and Thor and Captain Marvel are off world. There are no heavy hitter Avengers to call for…” Ms. Marvel ranted as she racked her brain for an answer, not thinking she was letting one the Inhuman wanted to save was getting too far ahead while she panicked.
-
Back with Spider-Man, he had gotten ahead of Juggernaut to a nearby construction site, where he loaded a giant steel girder into a web slingshot from the top of the still-being-assembled building.
“Ready…aim…fire!” Spider-Man side as he lined up the angles and launched the metal beam at its target. Where it bounced off the man like it was a paper ball.
Juggernaut looked in the direction of the shot and grew annoyed that the boy was back, so he started charging towards the construction site.
“Ah!” Spider-Man screamed as he frantically loaded girder after girder into his slingshot, but they were swatted aside with ease by the villain, who was now breaching the fence around the yard.
“You are testing my patience, bug! I’m going to crush you!” Juggernaut roared as he moved to take out the lower portion of the still-under-construction frame, but Spider-Man jumped away before it collapsed, while Juggernaut tanked the falling pieces like a champ.
Landing next to a wrecking ball that had been used to remove the prior building, Spider-Man quickly snapped the cable, saying, “Let’s try something a little harder! Time for a game of catch, Juggy!”
Spider-Man swung the wrecking ball overhead, gaining speed in each motion until Juggernaut burst from debris, giving the young hero his target.
But as Spider-man let go and the ball collided, it shattered on impact with the Juggernaut’s body.
“Don’t make me laugh!” Juggernaut stated as he ran forward and smacked Spider-Man into the with a backhand, sending him colliding with a fuel transport truck back on the street opposite the far-end construction site.
“You okay?” the driver asked the dazed Spider-Man, who shook his head rapidly to get the proverbial cobwebs out of his head before looking at the driver.
“No, but I’ll live…is this thing ensured? Because there is a living tank heading our way, and I need something to hit him with,” Spider-Man asked as thundering footsteps shook the ground.
“Um…going by the sound of that, this might be what you need than…assuming you don’t blow yourself up while hitting whatever that is with the truck,” the driver said before quickly getting his insurance papers and high tailing it out there.
Meanwhile, Spider-Man does a double-take on the truck and realizes it is a fuel truck. One he planned on using against Juggernaut. This could not end well. Not at all.
-
“Where are you, you pest? Did that baby slap finally get rid of you?” Juggernaut roared as he stomped across the yard, only to hear an air horn honk and a large truck burst through the fence and head straight at him with a familiar hero driving it.
“Oh, how cute. You think a truck will stop me!” Juggernaut said as he charged forward and met the fuel truck head-on, which caused Spider-Man’s spider-sense to trigger and jump ship before impact.
The following explosion by the clashing forces of the truck and the supervillain igniting the fuel in the vehicle’s container made Spider-Man horrified that he might have killed his opponent until the Juggernaut casually walked out of the flames.
“That’s not possible!” Spider-man exclaimed as he jumped out of the way of another punch from the Juggernaut, the villain’s body still partly covered in flames.
“Spider-man! You are dead! I’ll squash like a…huh?” Juggernaut started to say until Spider-man landed on his back and clung on for dear life while keeping his arms and hands over the eye holes of Juggernaut’s helmet.
“Hey, I can’t see! Get off of me!” Juggernaut demanded as he wildly grabbed or thrashed at Spider-Man, tearing the back of the boy’s costume wide open and already making the boy groan in pain at the wild strikes pummeling him.
“Well, I thought we should get to know each other better, know what I mean,” Spider-Man quipped through the pain he made the unstoppable foe thrash about until he stepped into a large batch of wet cement.
“My legs, their stuck!” Juggernaut roared as Spider-Man leapt away to avoid sinking with him.
“Congratulations, you slogged into a fresh batch of wet cement. That should be fun to deal with!” Spider-Man joked again while Juggernaut fought to try and swim to the edge but failed.
“You think this can hold me?! You’re wrong! I’m the Juggernaut! I smash cement! I don’t need air to live!” Juggernaut roared in anger as he went under, not knowing his last words were a relief to the hero, who was worried he needed to save the giant of a man without entirely freeing him. If the Juggernaut did not need to breathe, there would be nothing to worry about.
“Yay, win for Spidey…now I’m taking a nap,” Spider-man said as he collapsed to the ground from those wild strikes and started snoring.
-
Sometime later, the Avengers regrouped and followed the carnage to the construction site to find the sleeping spider-man and a poorly scribbled note that said, “Don’t disturb cement. Angy man within. Signed, Spidey.”
“See, he’s still super aggressive if he tossed…” Iron Man started to say in the vein hope of not getting the rest of the scolding from Captain America but fell silent at the glare from the soldier and Hulk.
“Tony, just run the scans while Spider-Man is asleep so you can compare the brain waves,” Captain America ordered before a subtle yelp drew his attention back to the boy and found Ms. Marvel being pulled into a ‘teddy bear’ hug.
“I-um-what?” Ms. Marvel squeaked out, who had been trying to use her powers to pick her friend up only to get pulled in and stuck in this position; worse, she was humiliated by what the sleeping boy said next.
“Finally found Marvel plushie. Mine now. So soft,” Spider-Man mumbled, making Ms. Marvel look red with a blush.
The older Avengers rolled their eyes while Iron Man ran the scan, while Black Widow knelt down and whispered, “This is what you get for not staying to help Cap and me when we were stuck under Stark.”