Chapter Text
Two days. It had been over two fucking days since Elle had stepped into the shuttle and set off for Aratoht, and not a fucking peep. Where the hell was she?
He had started out down in the Battery, attempting to focus on calibrations. When he could no longer stare at the same console screen any longer, he decided to go down and bother Tali. When she had threatened to throw him headfirst into the mass effect core, he had made a hasty retreat.
Eventually, Garrus had ended up in the cockpit, staring silently at the planet below with Joker. When almost a whole day had passed, he blearily staggered up to the Captains Cabin to sleep after EDI promised to wake him if they heard anything. It felt weird and empty without her, but her smell was on the sheets and that was the only thing that gave him any peace.
The next day brought no new information. His worry was becoming painful now. He had taken to pacing the battery, not even pretending to be busy. Tali had come up to wait with him, and so had Jack, surprisingly. She had her new hamster with her.
Everyone had been surprised when Jack held Shepard to her promise to buy the biotic the pet. But Shepard had stepped up and not only bought the little critter, but all the accouterments as well. And now the little guy rode around on Jack’s shoulder and had become something of an overnight sensation on the Normandy. Only Joker had been less than thrilled, vocal in his concern of it escaping into the infrastructure. But Jack had just rolled her eyes and cuddled Boo against her face.
The three of them– four, counting the squeaking rodent– waited for what seemed an eternity, when Joker’s voice crackled over the intercom. “Garrus, there’s something you should see.”
Garrus glanced at the two women in confusion before making his way to the elevator. The pilot’s voice had sounded… worried, yes, but something else. Awestruck.
And soon Garrus saw why. As soon as he entered the cockpit, he was surprised to see they weren’t watching Aratoht any longer. Instead, an asteroid belt spread before them. And one of the massive rocks was moving. In the opposite direction of its fellows.
“What the hell?” He stared at the asteroid in confusion. “Is it supposed to be doing that?”
“Started about thirty minutes ago,” said Joker mildly. He rubbed his chin. “EDI is picking up electronic signatures, but no transmissions are coming out. Radio silence. And with all the gravitational and magnetic distortions given off by the belt, we can’t get a read on any heat signatures.”
“Where’s it headed?” Garrus squinted, trying to gauge the trajectory. They were on the outer edges of the system. There really wasn’t anything out here, except–
“By my calculations, the asteroid is on a collision course with the Mass Relay,” EDI cut in.
“What?” Garrus choked. “Has that ever happened? What would the fallout from something like that be?”
“Based on current speeds, the Relay would be destroyed and the resulting shockwave would have disastrous effects on the system.”
“And the colony?”
“The colony would be destroyed.”
“What do we do?”
Joker shrugged. “Dollars to doughnuts, this has something to do with Shepard.”
Garrus stared at the man, incredulous. “How did you work that one out?”
“Because when does it ever not have something to do with Shepard.” He shrugged again. “EDI ran the numbers. We could hit it hard enough with the cannon to shift its trajectory, but we still have some time. I’m giving her as much time as possible to get in contact before making a move.”
Garrus turned back to watch the asteroid. “Keep me posted. I’m going to get my armor on just in case.”
Joker waved distractedly.
-
“Garrus, Shepard has made contact,” EDI’s smooth voice called, and Garrus felt a flood of relief. “She has called for an extraction on the asteroid. ETA is two minutes.”
Garrus took a deep breath. It felt like the first time he could breathe in over two days. Then–
“Garrus, get up here now!” Joker yelled suddenly over the intercom.
He flew out of the battery. Tali and Jack were sitting at a table in the Mess now and looked up in alarm, watching him hurrying into the elevator with concern. As soon as the door opened to the CIC, he looked toward the cockpit. Even at this distance, he could tell they were close to the surface of the asteroid. As he got closer, he saw a facility carved into the rockface, and a small figure running pell mell for the edge of a platform. Shepard. His heart swelled in relief and also anger. When all this was over he was going to give her a piece of his mind. After he had personally given her a thorough once over.
“Joker, port side airlock!” he called.
“Way ahead of you!” Joker yelled back, his fingers flying.
A few seconds later, the outer airlock closed and pressurized. As the inner hatch opened, Garrus reached for the woman inside, intending to wrap her up in a crushing hug and reassure himself that she was truly okay.
But she swung past him, using his outstretched hand for leverage and hurled herself around the corner toward the cockpit. He felt a flash of hurt until he saw her eyes through the slit in her helmet as she wheeled away.
Terror.
This wasn’t over.
“Get us out of here, Joker,” Shepard yelled frantically, skidding to a stop next to the pilot. And suddenly Garrus could see why. They were out of time. From their position near the surface of the asteroid, the Mass Relay glowed before them. It was unnerving, seeing a Relay this close but still seeing the haze of light atmosphere around them rather than the usual black backdrop of space.
Joker was rising to the occasion, hurtling them away from the asteroid at their back. Garrus had a feeling they were approaching the Relay faster than was safe, but what choice did they have?
And then, they hit the field of the Relay and he saw the crackle of energy that would whisk them away, and then they were gone.
Shepard turned and walked past him on wobbly legs. He followed. She climbed the steps to the platform over the Galaxy Map, and, moving as though gravity had increased tenfold, pulled up the Bahak system they had just left.
A second later, the icon of the system’s relay flickered, then went out.
Went out.
As he watched, the map showed a projection of a shockwave spreading outwards at staggering, terrifying speeds. And then the planets winked out, one by one. Aratoht was the second closest planet to the relay, and he realized in horror that the whole colony was gone.
Gone. In a second.
Three hundred thousand batarian colonists, dead. In one second.
Fuck.
Shepard swayed on the platform, and he turned to look up at her. She looked… broken. Defeated. Beyond exhausted.
And she was crying. A thin trail of tears was carving a path down each cheek, through a layer of grit and soot and blood.
And he knew what he had to do. Garrus stepped up to the stairs, holding up his hand to help her down. When he had moved, so had she, almost automatically. She took his hand gratefully and gingerly, slowly, stepped down. As soon as she was off the stairs, he scooped her up, only slightly surprised when she didn’t fight. Shepard curled inward, tucking herself tightly against his chest.
He took her down the Med Bay and placed her carefully on a bed. Chakwas stepped up between and quickly started unhooking her armor. Garrus helped, removing her helmet and lifting her enough that the doctor could slip off the chest plate and leg pieces. Shepard lay there, docile, probably in shock.
And then Chakwas was shooing him back, insisting he give her room to work. He moved outside to the windows, watching and feeling more helpless than ever before. A hand on his shoulder had him turning, and he realized Tali was next to him. She wasn’t looking at him though. Her eyes were locked on Shepard. Jack was on his other side. More footsteps behind him. Turning just slightly, he saw the whole squad, minus Thane, gathered to offer comfort to their Commander. And to him.
-
Garrus could have cheerfully killed Admiral Hackett. But Dr. Chakwas had planned ahead. She had taken one look at his face when he found out the grizzled Admiral was on his way for an in person debrief and called for reinforcements. Grunt, Tali, and Jacob had answered, locking themselves in the forward batteries with him. He was also pretty sure Samara had decided to meditate right outside the door.
He paced. And paced. To their credit, nobody tried to distract him or get him to calm down. Grunt sat against the door and promptly fell asleep, Jacob was cleaning a gun, and Tali’s Omni-tool glowed brightly as she fiddled with her combat drone.
After what seemed like days, but realistically was a few hours, the loudspeaker crackled to life.
“All crew report to the CIC,” Shepard said in her firmest “Commander” tone. Jacob nodded, and Tali shook Grunt awake. When the doors opened, Samara had already gone. Probably as soon as she saw Hackett leaving.
They trooped upstairs, having to wait with a larger group at the elevator. In the CIC, everyone was edgy. Nervous. Something was coming.
Shepard approached from the cockpit. He wasn’t sure he had ever seen her so serious. Commanding, yes. Domineering, even? Absolutely. But this... this was somber and grave in a way that made the air in the room too thick to breathe.
Her eyes didn’t even stop on his, didn’t linger for the smallest of moments. They were hard, flat. Impenetrable. Inscrutable.
She stepped up to the platform and surveyed them all. After a moment she drew a breath, and spoke. “We are currently en route to Illium, and we will be stopping in five days. The whole crew will be relieved of duty at that time and will disembark.”
The silence was immediately broken by whispers of confusion and outrage. She held up her hand and the commotion stilled.
“You are the finest crew I could ever have asked for. Know that this was not an easy decision. But it is necessary. As many of you know, our most recent mission ended with the annihilation of an entire system, and the deaths of over three hundred thousand colonists.” She paused, looking at all of them. “I made the choice to destroy the Relay. And I must answer for that. But none of you should be punished for my crimes, nor be held responsible for my decisions. I carry that weight alone.”
She paused again, considering her next words.
“You all deserve to know why this has come to pass. So I will be very clear. I knew, before I activated the system that launched the asteroid at the Relay, what would happen. I knew the colony would be destroyed. I knew all of those colonists would most likely die. I had attempted to warn the colony but had no reason to believe my message made it through.”
“Batarians!” Somebody yelled from the crowd, and others took up the cry. “Terrorists!” Garrus felt numb. She held up her hand again, and again the crew stilled.
“Families. Farmers. Workers. Women. Children.” She leveled a look at those who had spoken. “Innocents living their lives.” They nodded slowly, sullenly, and she continued. “I knew the consequences. And I would do it again. Because in every way that mattered, that colony was already dead.” The pause was pregnant, as they all realized she was building to something. “Because the Reapers are coming. We were minutes from the invasion. They’re here.”
Gasps. Cries.
“That was what the science team uncovered. Proof of an imminent invasion. And the only way to prevent it was to destroy the Alpha relay.”
“So that’s good then, right?” Someone else called. “You stopped the invasion?”
“No.” She shook her head sadly, absolute certainty in her eyes. “The invasion has simply been delayed. Make no mistake, they are coming. Whether it will come in weeks, or months, we can only guess. What I can give you is freedom. Time. I am not taking any of you down with me. So use the time to prepare. Speak with your families, your friends, your contacts. Gather food and weapons. Fuel. Supplies. Do what you can to protect those you love. I will be returning to the Alliance, and I will be doing everything I can to convince anyone who will listen what must be done.” She paced a few steps. “You will all receive your pay in full, as well as enough credits to get you anywhere you wish to go. If there is someplace else you would prefer we leave you, speak with Miranda and we will try to accommodate. We will not be going to Omega, nor the Citadel. After Illium, we are returning to Arcturus Station to meet up with our escort back to Earth. Thank you all. It has been the greatest honor to serve as your Commander.” She paused.
Jacob drew himself up, snapping a crisp salute. Miranda considered him, then copied. Around them, others followed suit and pretty soon, the whole of the CIC was saluting their Commander. Each alien gave their species equivalent, with Garrus being the last, holding Shepard’s eye the whole time. Shepard swallowed hard, choking back a sob. Then with deliberate slowness, she saluted back. “Dismissed.”
As the now teary eyed crew slowly disbanded, Shepard called the battle squad to the comm room. They all followed after her, somber and reserved.
Once they spread themselves around the table, Garrus couldn’t shake the mental comparison to the last time they all stood here, arranged like this. But then, they had all been determined. Resolved to destroy the Collectors, to rescue their crew if possible.
Shepard drew a breath. “Joker and I have spoken. We have agreed to take the Normandy back to the Alliance as a peace offering.”
Miranda started to argue and Shepard held up a hand, cutting her off. “The Alliance will need every ship available to defend humanity, and this one is about as state of the art as it comes. Plus,” she smiled a self-deprecating smile. “It makes a hell of a goodwill gesture. Maybe they won’t let me starve when they toss me in the brig.” She huffed a humorless laugh. “Joker and Dr. Chakwas are coming. But EDI can handle every other system. So you all are getting off, too. Grunt.”
Grunt looked up, glowering.
“We’re stopping at Tuchanka first.”
“No.”
“Yes,” she replied simply. “Your battlemaster has decided. I need you to help Urdnot Wrex hold Tuchanka. If Clan Urdnot loses control of the krogan homeworld, if the krogan clans are allowed to fragment again, I have a feeling we will all suffer for it.” After a long moment he looked down, accepting the order. She nodded and moved on.
“Tali, I’m sending you back to the Migrant Fleet. Your people need you.”
“I...” Tali said in a quavering voice. “Yes, Shepard.”
“Mordin,” Shepard started.
“Back to Sur’Kesh. Important. Must prepare.”
“Samara?”
“I will return to Thessia and attempt to prepare my people.”
“Legion will return to the geth and try to keep them from becoming Reaper pawns.”
“Yes, Shepard-Commander.”
“I will use my contacts and try to get some colonial dignitaries to listen and prepare,” Miranda spoke up.
“And I’ll clean up a few of our loose ends,” Jacob added.
“Zaeed and Kasumi, I believe you both expressed interest in returning to your previous careers,” Shepard offered. "Zaeed, I believe I've found a lead on Vido. I'm sending you the file."
Zaeed simply nodded. Kasumi smiled sadly and shrugged. “Illium will work for me, Shep.”
“Jack,” Shepard said carefully.
“Don’t worry about me. I’ve got a couple of leads I’m going to look into.”
“And Garrus,” she said slowly, looking like she would rather talk about anything else. Say anything else.
The rock of dread settled in Garrus’ gut. Slowly he looked up to meet her eyes, already knowing what she was going to ask of him and wishing he could say no.
“I need you to go to the Citadel, to the Council. And then to Palaven.”
-
“Why do you have to go back?” Spirits he sounded like an adolescent, whining and stomping his feet at hearing an unfair order. Or a perceived unfair order.
But this whole situation was unfair. They had only just found each other, and then she does a favor for a respected former commander and this is the fucking fallout? What the hell?
But he had waited until they were back up in her quarters to lay into her. To speak up. Because down there, in the war room, he would have her back no matter what.
She sighed. “You know why I have to go back, Garrus. We can’t let this eclipse the bigger conversation. The batarians are already howling for blood, rightly so, and given how much they’re already itching for a war with the Alliance, I’m surprised they haven’t already declared war outright.”
“They probably think you’d ride in and blow another Relay.”
“I hate to admit it but you’re probably right.” She sighed again. “Look, I hate this as much as you do. I don’t want to go and answer the same questions, over and over, before a fucking tribunal just to placate a bunch of chattering politicians while the real threat looms in the dark and we’re screwing around with our pants down.” She looked at him bleakly. “I don’t want to leave you. But if we’re going to have any shot against the Reapers, we’ll need the turians. And the asari, salarians, krogan. We’re going to need the volus, elcor, drell and hanar too. Hell, we’re probably even going to need the batarians and vorcha. We’re going to need everyone. But you are the only one who can talk to your people, the only one who really knows the stakes. So that’s what I need you to do. Because I’m about to be out of commission, out of the conversation, for who the hell knows how long. So I need you to speak for me, to be my voice.”
He looked at her. He had never felt so lost. Knowing what had to be done, but wishing like hell there was any other way.
He had thought they would have more time, and now it was running out.
She stood, walking up to the desk. He sank onto the bed, holding his face in his hands. He heard her bare feet padding towards him on the floor, and then she crouched before him. Garrus looked at her through his fingers.
One of her hands rested on his knee. The other... held the box. “I want you to take this,” she said, her voice full of emotion. “You did a good job of keeping it safe before. I don’t want it getting confiscated and lost in Alliance bureaucracy.”
He nodded dumbly, his numb fingers wrapping around the small wooden container. How many nights had he thumbed through the memories within, making up stories to explain the pictures, picturing Elle and Jaya playing pranks on their fellow Academy cadets, passing the notes she’d saved when they were bored in class, getting each other into and out of trouble? Before he’d kept it because it was a piece of her, a way to keep her alive. Now, he would protect it so that he could return it.
“I’ll keep it safe.”
“Good,” she said, swallowing the emotion choking her throat. “Because it’s not a gift. You’re the only one I trust to guard it. To bring it back.”
He nodded, reaching forward to pull her between his legs, her face buried in his stomach, her arms around his waist. They sat like that for a long time. And later they got lost in each other, trying to memorize every shiver, every sigh, every single moan and arch and purr.
And just before they finally fell asleep, still twisted around one another, she mumbled softly against his chest, “Come back to me, Garrus.”
“I’m on it, Shepard,” he murmured back against the silky mass of her hair, his subharmonics humming her to sleep with a soft, sad song.