Chapter Text
I was alone when I awoke. I was momentarily petrified by the thought that Belle had run away, but my heart beat again when the complaints of the house's old pipes told me that someone was running the tap in the kitchen. I hurried myself into the shower and then into a clean suit. Although I had made my decision, I had yet to share my plans with Belle. I didn't know what state of mind she would be in after the disasters of the day before. I wanted to rush down to check on her. And of course to share my plans with her.
I hobbled as quietly as I could down the stairs and into the kitchen doorway. I wanted to get a glance of Belle before she sensed my presence and the facade she always showed me rooted into place. I wanted to check how she was before she could hide from me behind her seemingly endless professionalism.
Luckily her back was turned. She was stirring porridge on the stove. Her posture was relaxed, her handy steady. Perhaps I had adequately showed her my contrition, proved that I would never again give her cause to fear me.
As if she felt my gaze, she turned. I was stunned by her beautiful smile as she sunk to her knees.
'Good morning, sir.' She trilled.
There was nothing I could do but return her greeting. She rose again and turned back to her work. She ladled the oats into a waiting bowl and carried it to the table. There was only one place setting. Meal served, she again sank to knees and waited for me to take my place.
Everything was so utterly normal it should have been unnerving. But Belle looked so serene in the morning sunlight, it was so easy to pretend that the whole of yesterday was just some terrible nightmare.
I had planned to tell her straight away of what I had decided to do, but as I slowly spooned porridge into my mouth I reasoned with myself that it was better to wait. Belle gave every impression of being fine, better to hold off until everything was settled. The process would take several days. No need to excite her now.
Of course I knew I was being selfish. I wanted to pretend that everything was going to be OK for a few more days. I didn't want to start the process of loosing her before I had to, even if that was better for her. Worse than that, And despite what I had promised her as she lay in my arms, I was being a coward. I had every intention of following through, but by not telling Belle I maintained the option to back out at the last second, she would never need to know.
I gazed down at her, kneeling by my feet. The emerald blouse she wore brought out the red hues in her hair. It was like her face was framed by a fiery wave. She looked respectfully towards the floor so as not to unsettle me while I ate. Her hands were relaxed in her lap. Yes definitely better to wait. I could live in my happy fantasy for just a few days more.