Chapter Text
Title from “New York” by St. Vincent
It’s 2024, and Alex swears he will erase himself from every dating app. Perhaps he’ll throw his phone into the East River to make sure he never finds himself in this situation ever again.
He clears his throat awkwardly before schooling his features into a practiced, suave smile and leans forward as he says, “So… Um, Mandy, do you know what you will be ordering?”
Mandy looks up from the menu with a startled expression. Alex can’t help but notice how big her eyes are. Did they look like that in her pictures? He honestly can’t recall. Mandy stares at him for so long that he finally has to look away and buries his face in the menu on his hands.
“I think I’m going to go with the… Um,” he hesitates before affecting a horrendous French accent. “Porc á la Dijonnaise?”
Mandy only continues to stare at him with her wide, beady eyes. God, he should’ve chosen a Mexican restaurant. His Spanish would have totally impressed her.
“I don’t speak French,” Mandy says quietly. Alex wonders if his eyes look as big as hers now.
“I—I don’t either,” Alex admits with a confused tilt of his head. But, perhaps, this is some common ground. He can save this. “Do you speak any other languages?”
“No.”
He waits for her to say something else, maybe turn the question back to him, but she goes back to her menu without another word. Alright, then. Another bad date. It shouldn’t really surprise him. And yet, he still feels the familiar sting of defeat. He isn’t sure how many more times he can endure this. It’s not like his standards are insanely high or his list of non-negotiables is impossible to meet. It really shouldn’t be this hard. All he wants is to feel something. He wants that spark, that undeniable chemistry that everyone around him seems to have experienced.
He stops the waitress as she walks past, “Hi, excuse me, can I please have a whiskey on the rocks?”
He turns to Mandy in case she wants to order something to drink, too, but she still has her nose buried in the menu.
Alex sighs, “Actually, make it a double, please.”
“I’ll be right back to take the rest of your order,” The waitress says with a smile before leaving Alex behind in the awkward silence he has no idea how to fill.
“So, you said you were looking for a plus-one for an out-of-state wedding,” Mandy prompts. Alex nods eagerly, putting his menu down.
“Yep,” He says, popping the ‘p.’ “My sister is getting married to her girlfriend. They’re moving to California, so they decided to have their wedding there next month. We used to live together since we all went to college here, but they’ve always talked about moving west because my sister loves California, and she was born there. I wasn’t born there. I’m from Texas; have I mentioned that? Anyway, the wedding venue is in Santa Barbara. I’ve only seen pictures of it, but it looks great. June—that’s my sister—sent me a bunch of photos, and I said, ‘June, I can tell you one thing about this place: it’s photogenic,’ which, in my opinion, is the most important thing to consider for an event like this, wouldn’t you agree? June said I was right and booked it right after we talked.” The waitress is back with his drink and sets it down. Alex mouths a ‘thank you’ and takes a sip before continuing. “They’ve been going back and forth between New York and L.A. for the past year while they got everything settled for their move and the wedding, but they finally moved out of our apartment last week, and… I don’t know, it’s been weird. Nora, my sister’s fiancée, is my best friend. I don’t know if I mentioned that before. But yeah, we used to date, which might sound awkward to some people, but it’s whatever, we’re so much better as friends. The good news is that they’ll be back next month to pick up their car, and the three of us will embark on a cross-country road trip in the week leading up to their wedding. I’m so excited about it. It’s really bittersweet because it kinda feels like our last adventure together, and that’s super tough, but it will be good to have some time together so that we can finish ironing out all the details for the wedding. I feel like I’ve barely been able to do any of my duties as best man since I’m so far away from them, but I’ve done my best to get everything done even though stupid Henry has been questioning every single decision I’ve made as if he were the best man. I think he’s just bitter June chose me.”
Alex takes a breath after his rant and smiles at Mandy, who stares at him with a blank expression on her face. She’s seriously a great listener, Alex thinks. Perhaps this date is turning around; maybe this is the kind of person he needs. Someone to listen while he rants, opposites attract, and all that.
“Wow, it’s nice to get all that off my chest,” he laughs nervously. “Thanks for listening.”
Mandy stares at him momentarily before speaking up, “I thought you would be taller.”
“What?”
“You said you’re five-nine in your profile.”
“I am,” he squeaks.
Mandy scrunches up her nose in disbelief. Alex grabs his drink and gulps down some more; he’s going to need it.
xxx
“I don’t think you’re getting it. It was awful, Bug,” Alex cries out while looking directly into his phone’s camera for added emphasis.
June puts down the bridal magazine covering half her face. “At least you didn’t get murdered.”
“An attempted murder would’ve at least given me a good story.” Alex leans back on his chair and rubs his face, still feeling the remnants of the night before. Right after the waitress had cleaned up their plates, Mandy had received an ‘emergency phone call’ that was so ‘urgent’ that she had to immediately run back to her house because ‘her roommates had set the apartment on fire.’ Alex was nice enough to let her go without further questioning, and he had consecutively drowned the terrible bitter shame that had filled him with three more rounds of whiskey.
“I mean, that’s objectively true,” June agrees. “Although one could argue that roommate arson is also a good story if it were true.”
Alex lifts his shoulders briefly, resigned. June grabs the magazine again and turns it towards the camera to show Alex a picture of a bride mid-laugh clad in an off-the-shoulder gown with intricate lace-like patterns and ruffles. Her hair is pulled back, and she’s wearing big tassel earrings. Alex isn’t sure what he’s supposed to be looking at.
“Oh, yeah, that’s cute.”
June’s face pops from behind the magazine, and she glares at him. “The hair. I think I want to wear mine up like this. What do you think?”
Being the best man for his sister’s wedding means he’s in charge of many things. He has to plan her bachelorette party, act as a witness during the ceremony, ensure everything goes smoothly with the vendors, and deliver a speech. Still, most importantly, he has to have opinions on everything. Thankfully, he has never had any issues with that.
“Oh, we totally have the bone structure for that,” Alex nods. “Remember when I shaved my head in high school? I got daily compliments about the shape of my skull.”
“Is that when your head got so big?”
“Ha-ha,” Alex monotones. “Never mind, I take it back. Your skull isn’t as nice as mine.”
“Hmm…” June hums with a smile and looks down. “When are you picking up your suit?”
Alex looks to the ceiling as he reviews his mental calendar. “It should be done by next week; they said they would call me when it’s ready.”
“Okay, I need to ask Henry about his, too,” June says off-handedly.
“How many times do I need to ask you for a trigger warning before mentioning he-who-must-not-be-named?” Alex says, half-joking and eliciting an eye roll from June—a gesture so familiar Alex had been expecting it. “Speaking of the devil, has the Prince of Dullshire finished writing his speech?”
“Alex…”
“What?” Alex raises both hands. “I’m just saying he better not try to outshine me with his flowery prose. Henry might be a writer, but I have many more embarrassing anecdotes.”
“First of all, ‘flowery prose’?” June purses her lips to stop a smile from forming. “Such a compliment coming from you. Second, Henry is a writer, so he will obviously outshine you. And third, you better not mention the 2017 horse carriage fiasco. Thank you.”
They both stare at each other with matching grimaces as the memory replays in their heads.
“I can’t make any promises.”
June goes silent as she considers her next words, and Alex knows her well enough to wait for her to gather her thoughts before expressing them out loud. She takes a breath and leans towards the camera, her face distorting slightly at the proximity. Alex mimics her.
“Actually, I wanted to ask you a favor,” she says, biting her lower lip, a nervous habit she has had their entire lives.
“Anything,” Alex replies instantly. “I’m the best man.”
June smiles gently. “Trigger warning: Henry,” she jokes to break the tension, and Alex snorts. “Have you seen him around lately?”
He frowns at the question. It isn’t outlandish; they have all lived in the same apartment complex since moving to New York and, therefore, have a habit of constantly running into each other no matter how hard Alex tries to avoid the other man. June and Nora had found the apartment while they were still in Texas and had another roommate while they waited for Alex to finish high school. They had always planned to live together in New York. Henry had met June during his first semester in the fall and moved to the apartment above them during that winter break. Always there to plague Alex’s life.
Except for the last couple of weeks. He hasn’t seen Henry since June and Nora’s farewell party the week before.
“No, I haven’t,” Alex tells her. “But it’s probably because he’s a vampire and only comes out at night, if at all.”
“I need you to go check on him,” June says seriously, and Alex physically recoils at the thought. “No, listen, I’m worried that he has holed up in his apartment and hyperfocused on his work and has died from dehydration—”
He huffs. “That’s impossible! Vampires don’t need water. We all know there must be someone up there he can suck—”
“He’s not answering his phone,” June interjects with pleading eyes, the same face that has convinced him to do so many things over the years. He looks away.
“He’s probably fine, June,” Alex says through gritted teeth. “He’s a rich 27-year-old New York Times best-selling author—”
“Henry would do a welfare check on you if I asked him to,” June says, a corner of her mouth turning upwards as her blow lands squarely on Alex’s chest.
“He’d only do it in the hopes of finding my body and stealing it to suck all the blood out of me!”
“And wouldn’t you love that,” Nora’s voice says off-camera. Her curls bounce as she leans down to kiss June and sits on her lap unceremoniously.
Alex stares at her, bewildered. “Why would I ever want that?”
“Oh, I think you’d like him to suck you in any way, shape, or form,” Nora smirks.
“Gross!” June and Alex say at the same time. He has half a mind to slam the computer shut.
“That’s basically incest,” June gags dramatically. “Hen is like a brother to me.”
“Rude!” Alex immediately feels the familiar sharp pang of discomfort deep in his gut. The idea of Henry being a brother to him has always felt inherently wrong for reasons he doesn’t dare examine. “And false. I could never be related to someone as lame as Henry.”
Something flashes across Nora’s features, but it’s gone so fast that Alex could have imagined it. He chalks it up to their internet connection. Nora turns back to June and wraps her arms around her.
“Have you told him?” Nora asks her.
“Tell me what?”
“I haven’t,” June cringes. She looks away, and her fingers absently find their way to her bangs, sweeping them to the side only to brush them back into place a second later.
“Tell me what?” Alex repeats.
Nora extricates herself from June and turns her body towards the camera.
“I know we were planning on doing a road trip together to bring the Jeep here,” June begins, and Alex tries to stop the disappointment from settling in his bones, but it’s too late. “But with the wedding being so soon and everything we still have to arrange, it just doesn’t make sense for us to be away from home right now.”
Away from home.
Home.
Home.
Home.
The words echo in his head, mocking him. He wants to scream, throw a tantrum, and hurl a “but you promised!” in their faces. Home. June and Nora have always been his home. As he blinks at the screen, he can almost feel the 2,500 miles separating them. It’s not like he’s still that little boy who returned from Boy Scout camp-out only to find his dad gone, but at least he had had June back then. What does he have now? How could he let her go, too?
“—so horrible and disappointed. We will figure something out for the Jeep; we’re considering having it shipped to us, and, of course, we’ll pay for your plane ticket since it’s kind of last minute. I know— I know that doesn’t make it any better, but I just—” June’s cut off by Nora wrapping her arms around her neck, and it seems like a reminder for her to breathe. “Please say something.”
Alex inhales and exhales. “No worries,” he says, forcing a smile. “I understand.”
“I was looking forward to it,” June says helplessly, and Alex knows she means it.
“Me, too,” He sighs. What else is there to say? “I can fly in earlier to help with last-minute preparations if you want. I already had been given the two weeks off.”
“That’s not necessary. We’ve got it,” June says.
Nora turns back to him, her head leaning on June’s shoulder. “Can you help us figure out what to do with the Jeep? We need to find a way to bring it here safely.”
A problem. Alex can help with that. He can solve this.
“You know how important that car is,” June says with a gentle smile. “We learned how to drive in it. It’s been with us through our most formative years!”
“Yeah, but most importantly, that’s where we had our first—”
“Whatever you’re about to say, please don’t,” Alex pleads and covers the camera as if that would drown out the girls’ voices. They burst into a fit of giggles that Alex doesn’t want to understand. Sometimes, he thinks, it’s okay to be an outsider in their group.
Alex lets them have their moment as he opens his calendar app. He turns the two weeks he had marked with red into green. Two whole weeks that are completely open now. He feels himself getting anxious with all that free time. Maybe he can call his internship and start a bit earlier, but then he would have to leave again for the wedding. He can almost hear Luna telling him to take some time off for once and try to enjoy it. Easier said than done.
“Alex, take pictures of it before sending it our way,” June tells him. “We’ll frame them for our living room.”
A list is already forming in his head.
- He will be free for two weeks.
- He’s the best man, and his job is to fix problems.
- He can personally ensure the Jeep gets to them safely.
- He wants to be useful.
“Hey, girls, I have an idea,” He begins and wheels his chair closer to the computer. He can see himself getting bigger in the bottom corner of the screen. “What if I do the road trip by myself? I have the time, and we have already mapped out our route. I can take care of it.”
June and Nora exchange a look. “It’s a really long trip, little bro.”
Nora gets up from June’s lap and kisses her head before disappearing from the frame. June plays with her bangs again, a clear picture of unease as her eyes scan the screen, presumably Alex’s face. She straightens on her seat and rests her cheek on her hand. Alex bounces his leg up and down, an argument forming in his head. He can convince her. He knows he can. This is what he does.
“Let me do this,” Alex says, turning his phone towards the camera to show June his calendar. “Look, I’m done with finals next week, and then I can use the next week to finish planning everything. I will get the Jeep serviced as we had said, and before you know it, I’ll be in Los Angeles with your car and ready for the wedding.”
June bites her lip. “What about gas? And where will you stay? We were going to split the cost.”
“I’ll take care of it. I've got some money saved up.” Alex says, his confidence faltering slightly but pushing on. It’ll be a blow to his bank account, but he can manage it. “I’ll sleep in the Jeep some days and stay in cheap motels otherwise. I’ll be safe, Bug.”
“I don’t want you out there all alone,” June says.
“It’s good practice for the future!” Alex argues. “I’m all by myself here now. This will be a good way to get to know myself a little better, grow and learn, and all that shit.”
“You know we’re always a phone call away.”
“Yes. That’s not the point.” Alex grabs the sides of his computer as if it was his sister. “Please, I want to do this. I can barely do any of my duties as your best man from here, and this is the least I can do to help you. Let me help. I will lose my mind with all that free time.”
“Alex…”
“Let me road trip.”
“I don’t—”
“Let me road trip, let me road trip, let me road trip—”
“Oh my God, shut up,” June laughs.
“I mean, there’s an 87% chance of him making it all the way here unscathed,” Nora’s voice chimes in off-screen.
“I like those odds!” Alex says enthusiastically.
June scrunches up her face briefly before letting out a big exhale. “Alright.”
Alex punches the air victoriously, “Fuck yeah!”
June raises a hand, effectively stopping his celebration. “But, like you said, you need to get the car serviced, and I want daily check-ins. I also want your location shared and tons of pictures.”
“Done,” Alex agrees easily.
“And…” June smiles, and Alex immediately feels his heart plummeting. “You need to go check on Henry. Right now.”
Alex groans, “Oh, come on!”
xxx
Alex raises his fist to the door but freezes an inch away from it. This is idiotic; Henry is probably fine in there. But what if he isn’t? Alex bristles and takes a step backward. Maybe he can tell June Henry wasn’t in his apartment. Or that he was there and tried to lure him into his den with his huge… Fangs. Yep. Alex takes another step back. It seems to be completely quiet inside. Henry’s probably out. But what if he isn’t? Would June try to catch him in a lie? He inches closer to the door and puts his ear to the door, trying to make out some noise on the other side. Nothing. He holds his breath as he strains his ears for any sound.
By the time he registers the quiet turning of the knob, it’s too late. Alex stumbles forward and braces himself for an impact that never comes. Henry grasps his arms on instinct, but pushes Alex away a second later as he realizes who he is, and Alex grasps at the air to stay upright. He barely does so.
“Christ, Alex. Are you stalking me now?” Henry says as he regains his footing and smooths out his shirt, his posture immediately restored to his usual uprightness—all without losing his grip on David’s leash. “June has barely been gone for a week, and you’re already off the deep end.”
“I… I wasn’t. I mean, I didn’t—” Alex stammers.
“Don’t worry, I won’t press charges,” Henry says, a corner of his mouth turning smug. Alex wants to kill him if only to give him an actual reason to press charges. David rubs his nose against Alex’s leg, and he leans down to pet him.
“Who’s a good boy?” He cooes. David barks at him, knowing full well he’s the best boy and perhaps the only tolerable thing about Henry.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Henry asks, sarcasm just barely concealed amongst his elongated vowels. It makes Alex want to scream.
“I’m here because June is worried about you,” he answers with a pointed look, straightening up. David whines at the loss of his hand. “I am perfectly fine without her. Thank you very much.”
Alex notices the heavy circles under Henry’s eyes and finally takes in his unusual appearance. His hair is more tousled than usual as if he has spent the last few hours running his hands through it. A faint flush colors his infuriatingly high cheekbones, which match the rosiness of his chewed-up bottom lip, and his shirt is visibly wrinkled. It’s weird. Henry almost never leaves his place without looking like some kind of classic film star, with his sandy hair and old-world elegance.
He unconsciously reaches up to touch his curls and make sure they’re not in the same state of disarray.
Henry raises a condescending eyebrow. “Is this how you perform welfare checks? By trying to listen in on people? You do know you can just knock, right?”
“Well, I was trying to avoid this pleasant interaction.” Alex shoots him an overly friendly smile. He looks past Henry’s shoulder and narrows his eyes at the state of the usually pristine apartment. There are heaps of paper thrown around the living room, as well as paper plates and a half-drunk glass of water on the counter.
“I see,” Henry hums and steps forward, closing the door behind himself. “And why is June worried about—Oh.” Henry’s eyes widen as he looks up at the ceiling, eyes impossibly blue.
“What?”
“I forgot to warn her I was turning off my phone.”
Alex's eyes sparkle with delight. “Why did you turn off your phone? Was your number leaked? Are your devoted fans harassing you?”
Henry looks him up and down. “Only one.”
Oh, Alex hates his guts. He squints his eyes at him and holds his gaze, not backing down. The air crackles with energy, a single spark ready to ignite an explosion. This is their thing, stewing in the sizzling atmosphere that envelops every single one of their interactions until one of them backs down. It won’t be Alex this time.
“It’s none of your business, Alex,” Henry says, and the slight lilt in the way he pronounces his name makes Alex’s jaw clench—that stupid, haughty undertone of his. Henry begins to untangle David's leash, which has been wrapped around his legs. “I’m avoiding someone.”
That piques Alex’s interest. A smirk as he enquires, “Is it an ex-boyfriend?”
“No.” Henry pulls on the leash to stop David from walking around him. “It’s my agent, if you must know.”
Alex opens his mouth to answer, but David interrupts him with a loud bark.
“I can’t tell you how much I enjoy talking to you, but I must take David out for a walk now,” Henry gives him a perfunctory nod and steps aside, walking around him to press the elevator’s buttons. He looks back at a gaping Alex and frowns. “Don’t get lost on the way back to your apartment; it’s one floor down. You know, right beneath me.”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” Alex replies, carefully enunciating each word. It makes Henry wince, and Alex knows he has won this time.
“Stop calling me that,” Henry turns and glares at him. “And that reminds me, change your Wi-Fi’s name. No one finds it funny.”
“That’s perfectly fine because they all think it’s yours,” Alex says.
Henry rolls his eyes, and the elevator doors open for him. David pulls him in.
“Are you okay?” Alex blurts out right as Henry steps into the car. He regrets it as soon as the words are out of his mouth. “I mean, for June, can you confirm? She’ll be annoying otherwise.”
Henry hesitates. “I’m fine. Tell her I’ll give her a call tomorrow.”
“Okay, Your Highness.”
“Good God, stop that.”
“But Henry, the article!”
The elevator doors start closing right as Henry says, “Shut up,” and Alex rejoices in getting the last jab. Henry’s hand goes up to stop the doors, and Alex blinks at him.
“Oh, and Alex? Please stop stalking people. Junie will send me to bail you out if you get in trouble, and I do not have the time right now.” Henry takes a step back and lets his hand fall to his side.
Alex frowns. “I’m not— You don’t— I don’t need a babysitter, Henry!”
“Tell that to Junie,” is the last thing he says before the elevator doors finally close.
Alex huffs and mutters under his breath, “Freaking vampire.”
He fishes his phone out of his pocket and changes his Wi-Fi name from “His Royal Wi-Fi-ness Henry” to “Henry The Bloodsucker’s Wi-Fi.”
The change saves and leads him to the list of networks in the vicinity, and he notices Henry has changed his name to “Henry’s Actual Wi-Fi.” He presses the back of his hand against his lips, but even then, he’s sure the entire apartment building can hear his laugh.