Chapter Text
Colin awoke with a start and his body covered in a fine sheen of sweat. His mind took a moment to recall where he was. His home, his bed. He sat up abruptly and noticed he was alone, the linens beside him cold.
Whatever dream woke him up slipped away in the first few seconds of waking, yet he felt unsettled. He needed to find his wife.
Colin dragged his heavy limbs from the bed and stood shakily. He opened the door to their sitting room and breathed a sigh of relief. She sat before the dying fire on the settee, her eyes closed, a thick blanket wrapped around her shoulders.
Colin leaned on the back of the settee to gently brush the curls from her forehead. Penelope murmured a bit before opening her eyes.
“Pen, when did you come out here?” He asked as he circled around to sit beside her. She snuggled against him.
“Lying down makes it worse.” Penelope said closing her eyes and giving a sleepy smile. “But it’s hard to sleep sitting up.”
Colin hummed as he rubbed her rounded belly. “Are you giving your mama fits?” He cooed softly.
Penelope smiled. “No amount of ginger and lemon will appease this one.” She yawned. “What woke you up?”
“The lack of my beautiful wife.” He jested. “I think I had an odd dream.”
“Really? What about?”
Colin furrowed his brow and he tried to remember. “I can no longer remember it. I don’t think it was good. Not a nightmare, but maybe something else. One of those peculiar dreams that makes you uneasy the rest of the day.”
Penelope grimaced. “I had something like that a few weeks ago. I assumed it was caused by the baby.”
“Hmm. I cannot blame the baby for mine.” He smiled. “Come on, Pen. Let’s get you to bed.”
Colin helped her from the settee and wrapped his arms around her as he led her to their bed. He placed pillows at her back so she might recline a bit without lying down and being overcome by sickness. He slipped in beside her and Penelope reached for his hand and entwined their fingers.
“You’re rather good to me.” She said softly as she admired him in the twilight.
Colin rested his head on her shoulder. “No more than you are to me.”
He took a deep breath and allowed himself to savor this moment with the woman he loved. There were so many moments in their past that could have kept them apart. So many times that they almost missed each other or fell apart. But they were resilient, they fought for each other and now they were stronger for it. Their bond was unbreakable soon their little family would grow. Another conduit for all the love they had to channel through.
Sometimes in the dark of night when Penelope tossed and turned from the discomfort of the pregnancy and Colin found himself awake fretting; he thought back to all the ‘what ifs’ that sat nestled in the back of his mind. What if someone managed to sweep Penelope off her feet before he realized what was right in front of him? What if he stayed abroad too long and came back to find her happily wed? What if he gone through with his engagement to Marina? What if he never realized how important she was to him?
The thoughts were too much for him sometimes and he could only calm himself by drawing her into his arms and feeling her chest rise with her breath, feeling the swell of the life within her, the tightness of her arms and she wrapped them around his waist.
This was inevitable though. He realized after one particularly restless night. As far back as he could remember there had always been a part of his heart that was carved out for her. The slot that she fit perfectly in and nothing could remove her from him. Even before he realized that what he felt for her was love, she was a part of him as though it were preordained.
They were silent for a moment before Penelope spoke.
“Are you nervous? About the baby?”
“A little.” He admitted. “Are you?”
“Yes. About the birth and about being a mother.”
“You will be a great mother.” Colin countered assertively.
“How? Have you seen my own mother? She’s not exactly the ideal doting maternal influence.”
Colin scoffed. “Just do the opposite of everything your mother would do.”
Penelope laughed. “No feathers and no yellow dresses.”
“You like feathers.”
“A few feathers. Not the whole bird.”
After a few moments of silence Colin whispered. “You’ll be fine.”
“I’m going to take your word for it, Mr. Bridgerton.” She jested.
“As you should because I am so rarely wrong, Mrs. Bridgerton.”
They settled back into their comfortable silence.
“Is life supposed to be this wonderful?”
“Yes, I think it is.”