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Everything had changed after Starkiller fell.
A haunting chill had taken over the isolating halls of the Finalizer. Kylo found himself expecting to see dark shadows, spectres of past memories, following him as he marched his way through the corridors. One could blame it on the dark vacuum of space that surrounded the Star Destroyer, but Kylo knew better. The bone-rattling pangs of failure had not only affected him. The dark knight could feel the subtle aura of his co-commander flickering far on the other side of the ship. Their force signatures echoed one another in mimicked cries of anger and anguish at their twin defeats. Kylo’s loss to the untrained scavenger girl had slashed deep at his pride, outwardly apparent by the freshly healed scar that split his face in two. The destruction of the war-waging weapon had kicked the General into a state that Kylo had never witnessed from the man before.
With a deep breath, Kylo focused on the weakened tether that connected the two men. His mind’s fingers grasped at it like a spider following a silk strand on a web, tugging at it to draw it closer. The knight tried to be subtle, plucking at the string with a gentle hand, if only to reverberate Hux’s emotions back to him. But the General had grown sensitive after the devastating collapse of everything he had forged. As the tension between them grew tighter, Kylo felt a sudden stiffening on the other end.
Snap!
The hardened walls of Hux’s mind slammed shut, snipping the tether in two and shattering the connection between them. Just as he had done every other time Kylo had tried to tug him closer through the force. Kylo sucked a cold breath between his teeth. He had expected many things when he had finally woken from his medically induced slumber. Snoke’s punishing hand had been the first one. The Supreme Leader had granted him little mercy after his fall, leaving his pupil in a whirlwind of self-inflicted suffering while his mentor planned their next steps. The absence of his Knights had been another. Kylo knew Snoke would use them as part of his punishment, keeping the brotherhood far from him to writhe alone in his loathing.
But Kylo had never expected to wake up alone. Through the tortuous nights of sleep in the medical bay, the knight had imagined one face and one face alone. A pale visage with a smattering of freckles that covered its cheeks and nose. Two bright sea-green eyes filled with anger, annoyance, frustration, and worry. A face to give him peace that he was not utterly alone. Yet Hux had not been in the medical bay when he had woken up. Nor the days afterwards. Or the following week after, when Kylo had been released to his quarters. He hadn’t seen Hux until he came onto the bridge after his healing had been complete.
The General had felt like a cold wall. No matter how Kylo reached for him through the force, he had been met with nothing but indifference. A stark contrast to the man he had known on Starkiller. He had been a man full of fire; spitting rage-coated cinders at the Knight during the day before falling into his arms, warm and peaceful at night. Kylo wondered what Snoke had done to Hux while he had been retired. Hux appeared worn down, subtle bags surrounding hate-filled eyes as he commanded the bridge with a tired snarl. An icy fire disguising the deep-seated ache that had grown in the redhead’s chest.
There had been one emotion that Kylo had managed to pry from the ginger after a few days of secretly pressing on his mind. Grief. At first, Kylo had suspected the deep well of sorrow to have come from the destruction of Starkiller. But when Kylo pried deeper, a vision of soft ginger fur rubbing against the palm of his hand flashed in his mind. All before Hux whirled on him, snapping at the knight to stay out of his head, before leaving the bridge in shocked silence.
Millicent.
In truth, Kylo had forgotten about the small ginger tabby that had occupied Hux’s quarters aboard the base; too wrapped up in the shame that had not only impacted his standing with his mentor, but destroyed his relationship with Hux. He hadn’t noticed the absence of her force signature within the Finalizer, not realizing that Hux’s anguish was not only for the defeat of his weapon, but the loss of his closest companion as well. A pain that Kylo wished to mend more than anything.
***
A harsh curse left Hux’s lips as Kylo caught him alone in one of the outer corridors of the Finalizer. The scheduled stormtrooper patrols had already scanned through the area, just barely missing the opportunity to save Hux from the fate he knew he couldn’t escape. Kylo kriffing Ren.
“What do you want, Ren?” Hux muttered, not even bothering to look up from the datapad delicately placed in his gloved hands. He could feel the knight’s presence settled behind his back like a dark spectre of death.
“Come to my quarters,” The brute murmured deeply, his voice scarily human without the vocoder to disguise it. Hux wasn’t entirely sure where that blasted thing had disappeared to. Kylo had suddenly stopped wearing it, even though his face, while tender, was now healed. The man’s rumbling tone sent a cursing pleasant shiver down the General’s spine, just as it always had.
“Why the hell would I do that?” Each word left Hux’s lips in a disgruntled mutter, a frown already forming a deep mar over his face. The heat of Kylo’s body pressed in close to the back of the gaberwool fabric of his greatcoat, drawing a shudder from the General.
“Please Hux .”
The sincerity in Kylo’s tone threw the General off balance, throwing a glance his way over his shoulder. Deep, dark eyes stared into Hux’s face, pulling a heavy breath from his chest.
“Fine. But not for long.”
Before he knew it, Kylo was suddenly leading him down the well lit hallway leading to the knight’s quarters. With each step he took, Hux felt a growing anxiety rising in his heart. It had been so long since he had been in Kylo’s quarters, let alone stuck in a room with only him. His heart pounded against his ribcage like a frantic bird trying to escape its white-barred prison. Hux noticed Kylo’s shoulders slumped and for a split second, Hux imagined that Kylo could hear the beating of his heart. But that was absurd. Sure, Kylo could use the force, but hearing such a sensitive, physical sound wasn’t possible.
As they walked, Hux’s mind grew numb while the thoughts of work slipped away. He hadn’t possessed the willpower to think of anything outside of his day to day duties. His heart wouldn’t let him, too broken and fragile as it laid inside its locked cage. No. Hux wouldn’t allow a pain like this to happen again. He couldn’t . The numbness disappeared in a flash as Kylo’s hand suddenly smacked against the sleek door panel, causing the door to slide open with a well-timed hum.
“Now what was so important that you had to bring me he-” The words caught in the General’s throat as he slipped past Ren, gazing straight into the middle of Kylo’s living quarters. Standing right in the middle of the room was a horridly misshapen and mechanical…tree. Wires with broken, flickering lights were strewn around dulled down rods that formed ghoulish branches. Lighted orbs of duraplex were hung from different branches, lighting the dark and twisted metal with multi-colored lights. At the top, held by warped strands of metal that grasped it like long, inhuman fingers was a spotlight that Kylo had seemingly torn from…somewhere. It surprisingly completed the scene in a distorted sense.
“Kylo…what is this?” Hux’s voice was breathless as his eyes scanned every inch of the tree. It was horrifying and yet…pleasant at the same time. It filled Hux with a warmth he hadn’t felt since he was a small child. When his holiday had been full of a mother’s love and his father’s subdued acceptance.
“Well, it’s Life Day today. I know things haven’t been easy for us lately, so I wanted to do something different. I couldn’t get a real tree, obviously, so I had to make one.” Kylo’s voice was cautious as he watched Hux from behind, his eyes trailing over the slight glimpse he had of Hux’s face. “Do you like it?”
“I…” Hux hesitated for a moment, for once completely speechless. Then he nodded wordlessly, staring at the tree that any other man would find unnerving. Hux did too, to a degree, but nothing could hide the warmth in his chest no matter how hard he could’ve tried. It calmed the anxiety-induced rage that had taken over his heart since Starkiller fell.
“Here, I got you some gifts too.” Hux shivered as Kylo’s warmth passed by his side as the knight charged towards the tree and lifted one of the clumsily wrapped boxes. He turned, thrusting it in Hux’s direction. “Open it.”
The General took the box, unable to deny the man when he gave him a look filled with such softness. One that made it hard to disagree with the knight when he had tried to persuade the officer not to leave him after a night together. It worked most of the time. With surprisingly gentle hands, Hux undid the crinkled wrapping that covered the box. It was a darkly colored paper that Hux was shocked the man possessed. The material could be so rare nowadays and Hux’s heart flipped at the thought Kylo had used it for him .
Though it didn’t last long. All fluttering emotion died when he opened the box itself. Inside the box were two bowls; pristine metal pet dishes for food and water. Hux choked on a mixed sound of anguish and anger, his eyes flickering to the knight’s face. “Is this some kind of cruel joke? ” Hux practically snarled at the man, his hands shaking around the sides of the box.
“No Hux…just…just open the next one.” Kylo’s large hands presented him with the next gift, a much smaller box covered in a familiar black paper.
The General glared at Ren as he exchanged one box for the other, watching as Kylo set down the offending gift back under the tree. He didn’t know what kind of sick game the man was playing, throwing the memory of Millicent back in his face. His fingers tore into the paper, glaring down at the new item.
His eye twitched. Settled delicately on the bottom of the box was a sleek black collar. It was made of pristine, beautifully dyed leather that shined gently when the light hit it just right. The collar was a hand-crafted marvel, something he would have happily spoiled Millicent with back on Starkiller. His heart stung with grief as he lifted it from the box, gloved fingers twisting around the leather to hold it tightly.
“Why Ren?” Hux’s voice echoed in an unstable whisper, thumb rubbing over the flat strip. Oceanic blue eyes flickered to Kylo’s own, swimming with pain and swirling with sorrow.
“You have one more gift,” The knight murmured, turning his back to Hux. The action sent a harsh flash of rage through Hux and he dropped the box to the floor. Its harsh collision with the ground was signified by a sudden thud . Though the collar never left his hands.
“Ren!” Hux demanded his attention, a fierce growl leaving his lips as the man ignored him. “Kylo Kriffin' Re-”
“Here.”
Kylo’s deep eyes stopped Hux’s rage in its tracks, seeing the vulnerability that Kylo used closed off almost as well as Hux did. The General swallowed before looking at the final box. This one was larger. Clumsy holes were pierced into the sides, too small to see inward but big enough for air to pass through. As Hux reached for the box, he could’ve sworn, for just a moment, he saw the box move .
“Just open it. I’ll hold it.” The dark knight murmured, his large hands gripping the sides of it tightly. Hux felt nauseous as he pulled up the top with his free hand. A soft pink nose peeked out of the gap, followed by two bright green, familiar , eyes. Hux’s heart stopped.
It couldn’t be.
“Millie?” The name left his lips in a choked whisper as the cat finally pushed out through the top of the box, jumping into the man’s arms. Tears welled in Hux’s eyes as her soft, newly brushed fur pressed into his uniform and already started to cover it in light cat fur. “H-how is this possible?”
Desperate eyes turned to look at Kylo, who was watching the two with a relieved look. As he felt Hux’s eyes settle on him, he turned his gaze to the man’s face. He knew that Kylo had never seen him cry before. Yet the idea of him seeing him in such a vulnerable moment didn’t bother him in the slightest.
“She had stowed away on one of the transport ships that left Starkiller,” Kylo explained. “Her force signature was so faint I didn’t catch it at first. She was living off scraps when I found her. I…I wanted to make sure she was alright before I gave her to you…I couldn’t bear the idea of you grieving her a second time.”
Hux’s head tilted down, feeling Millicent lean up and rub against the underside of his chin. She looked healthy. While still a bit skinnier than she had been previously, her form was lean rather than starving. Her eyes were bright and full of life. And the purrs she was erupting made Hux’s chest feel warm. She was perfect. Millicent had come back to him.
Kylo Ren had brought her home.
The General strode forward, catching Kylo off-guard as he stepped into the knight’s space before slamming their lips together. A kiss of feelings that had been left unanswered. Abandoned to die in a wall of stone that was encased in his chest. Destroyed emotions that he had never imagined trying to fix. But Kylo had picked up each piece, glued them together, and watched them settle into their places perfectly.
“Thank you,” Hux whispered as the kiss broke, stealing Kylos’s breath away as the knight looked down into the sea-green gaze he had always loved.
“ Anything for you Hux. ”