Chapter Text
Ever since Zhu Yan had started to perceive some things around him, though still not being able to return to his human form, he had always felt Wen Xiao’s presence by his side and he imagined her playing the baize token daily in order to help with his cultivation just like she had spent 300 years in the sundial in order to get the piece of divine wood she had needed to repair said token.
Her presence was reassuring to him, making him even more willing to return into his human form in order to see her again. He couldn’t tell how much time had passed since Zhuo Yichen had stabbed him just like he had always wanted and even though Zhu Yan would never admit it out loud, in that last moment where he had been starring into Zhuo Yichen’s teary and grief filled eyes, he had in fact not wanted to die anymore. He had said to Zhuo Yichen before that even ants were fighting for their lives if they were in grave danger and in the end he had proven the statement to be true as he had been internally torn. Though obviously he didn’t let it show on his face, knowing that the guilt Zhuo Yichen would have to bear was already grave enough.
He hadn’t expected to come back eventually, hadn’t expected that the young demon would manage to extract a shred of his soul and eventually find it to let the great demon Zhu Yan come back to the world. He surely hadn’t expected that but figured that he definitely would’ve done the same, had he been in the younger one’s situation.
It was hard to describe how Zhu Yan felt about coming back to life, about eventually regaining his human form and meeting all the people that he owed something in their own way – though he realized that most of them had long passed since a mortal’s lifespan was incredibly short after all. While the greater part of him was grateful that Zhuo Yichen most likely had gone through so much to bring him back, there was surely a smaller part that felt like he didn’t deserve all of that and that would tell him no matter how many good deeds he would do, they would never be able to outweigh the bad ones he had carried out in the past. It really was a struggle within himself that he doubted would ever come to an end.
When he felt his return to his human form nearing, he wondered how much time seriously had passed in the meantime. Zhu Yan knew that a demon like him would take approximately 500 years to come back when a shred of his soul could’ve been preserved but after all he didn’t know how long Bingyi’s descendant had been looking for him prior to that. Realizing that either way, centuries had surely passed was shocking though considering that for Zhu Yan it felt like them defeating Wen Zongyu, Li Lun sacrificing himself, Bai Jiu doing the same and Zhuo Yichen stabbing him had only been yesterday.
Wen Xiao’s presence was everlasting so when he finally opened his eyes, finding himself in a very human body that was completely uncovered, he felt a sense of shame because that was surely not how he had wanted to face his beloved after centuries. It was as if Wen Xiao didn’t even need eyes anymore, she could just feel that the great demon was back, throwing some robes at him while looking at a place far away. Zhu Yan wondered if she hadn’t grown tired of seeing the same scenery for hundreds of years.
“Welcome back, great demon Zhu Yan.” She eventually whispered and Zhu Yan figured that she had probably wanted to sound confident, but the way her voice sounded was way too inconsistent. The great demon got dressed into robes that looked very different than the ones back then and he figured it was probably what people in the mortal world were wearing these days.
Eventually he allowed himself to take a look at Wen Xiao who was also wearing a completely different style of clothes. His beloved looked incredibly tired, though the smile on her face hadn’t changed, still showcasing the very same kindness that the baize goddess had always had for all beings. “I can’t believe you’re finally back.” She continued talking with the same raspy voice that Zhu Yan had missed so much. He couldn’t help but hug her eventually, wrap his hands around her waist and cling onto Wen Xiao like she was his whole world. The baize goddess did the same, burying her head in Zhu Yan’s shoulder as he felt the fabric of the clothes he had just put on get wet with the silent tears that were streaming down her face. Zhu Yan himself couldn’t hold back his own tears either.
He didn’t know how long they were standing there but it surely would’ve been a long while though neither of them felt like rushing anything. In the time that followed Wen Xiao started telling him about everything – how she had been doing, what she had been going through, the current state of both the wilderness and the mortal world where Zhu Yan was relieved to hear it was a rather peaceful time, and how much time had passed. Zhu Yan wasn’t too surprised to learn it had been 800 years though a part of him was still shocked.
They spent their days reminiscing, laughing and crying together until one day Zhu Yan finally dared to ask about Zhuo Yichen whom Wen Xiao surprisingly hadn’t mentioned on her own. “He’s fine.” She replied as he asked, a smile on her face. “He’s very much fine actually, no need to be worried.” Zhu Yan was confused at that statement. Knowing Bingyi’s descendant, he surely would still drown in grief and regret even centuries later so Wen Xiao’s statement came as a surprise.
“I’m glad he’s doing fine.” He eventually replied and in fact, he couldn’t have been able to put into words just how glad he was. “But where is he?” This was the conclusive question. Wen Xiao’s hand cupped Zhu Yan’s cheek as she replied “It’s been a while since he’s visited me though as far as I know he’s currently back in the demon hunting bureau. He has spent a lot of time in the wilderness prior to that and managed to revive Li Lun centuries before you, but I guess he can tell you all of that himself. It’s not my story to tell.”
One of the many things Zhu Yan had always loved about Wen Xiao was that she barely ever got jealous of anybody, even when the two of them hadn’t spoken about their feelings yet back in the day. They had both known that Zhuo Yichen had been in love with Zhu Yan, it truly hadn’t been hard to tell, but instead of getting jealous or shrugging the younger one’s feelings off, Wen Xiao had never been jealous when the two of them had spent time together or when Zhuo Yichen had been looking at the great demon a little bit longer than he had been supposed to. She had always let him be, had respected his feelings just as Bingyi’s descendant had also always respected their boundaries, knowing that Zhu Yan had chosen Wen Xiao and he himself didn’t stand a chance.
Back then Zhu Yan had initially found that affection adorable though when it had come to the point where Zhuo Yichen had ended up having to stab him, tears streaming down his face as grief and desperation were clearly visible on every inch of his body, it hadn’t been too adorable anymore. Instead Zhu Yan had hated how he had made the younger one – even though unwillingly – fall for him only to make him loose him eventually. He couldn’t help but wonder in which state Zhuo Yichen was now after all these years, both mentally and physically.
But there was also someone else he was craving to see. The pagoda tree demon who had once been his best friend but who had eventually turned into a different direction, their paths not having been the same anymore. Zhu Yan was more than glad that Li Lun had also been brought back and he couldn’t help but admire the bearer of the cloud light sword for having been able to retrieve not one but two great demons.
Even though he wanted to see them both, he knew that he’d have to go see Zhuo Yichen first. He owed him so much, but mostly he owed him to be one of the first people who’d know about the white ape demon’s return. With that he bid farewell to his beloved and returned to the mortal world for the first time in more than 800 years.
Zhu Yan would always be amazed how much could change in the mortal world over the curse of a few centuries. While in the wilderness that amount of time certainly wasn’t a lot so not many things would change, in the mortal world it was approximately the eleventh generation of people walking through the cities of Tiandu since he had been there the last time. Zhu Yan, always having been astonished by the inventions of mortals, casually strolled through the streets, remembering the days he’d done so for the first time with Li Lun. He could only hope that the pagoda tree demon was fine and he’d make sure to look for him soon.
When he arrived at the demon hunting bureau though, he was surprised that it hadn’t really changed over the curse of time. In the contrary, the building looked like it had been renovated recently and it was obvious that it was well taken care of. It was the complete opposite of the time when Zhu Yan had arrived at a rather decomposed building when he had been so desperate to die. Ironically it now seemed like the building’s state back then had been reflecting his mental state. Now that his death wish wasn’t overflowing, the building looked much better as well.
He found himself encountering a déjà vu moment when the men guarding the doors initially didn’t recognize him even though he was carrying around his signature umbrella. “I’m here to pay a visit to Zhuo Yichen daren.” Zhu Yan eventually stated and one of them men started talking about how Zhuo daren didn’t have a lot of time and certainly not for some man who seemed to be one of his admirers. “While I’m in fact one of his admirers, I’m not a man.” Zhu Yan stated, getting annoyed at their defiance. “I’m a demon. So go tell Zhuo Yichen daren that the great demon Zhu Yan has come to see him.” Zhu Yan could blurrily remember having held a similar conversation like that one centuries ago and it was in that moment that the two guards finally realised who was really standing in front of them.
Now, contrary to back then, Zhu Yan was rather amused as they practically ran into the bureau, leaving the door unguarded which he easily opened with his one word spell. It was comforting to see that while most of the city of Tiandu had changed, the demon hunting bureau had not. He knew that part of that would’ve also been Zhuo Yichen’s doing who as Wen Xiao had told him had come back here eventually. Zhu Yan was more than eager to see him.
One of the guards ran back towards Zhu Yan, seemingly not caring anymore that the great demon had entered the bureau without permission. There was even a positive expression on the mortal’s face. “Zhuo daren is currently out but he’ll be back shortly. Xiansheng said it’s fine if you wait here for his return. He mentioned it’d also be fine if you walk around and take a look around the bureau.” The guard went back to his position in front of the door and Zhu Yan wondered who the young man had been referring to. It surely would have to be someone highly respected by Zhuo Yichen and Zhu Yan surely couldn’t think of many beings who’d hold that position.
He threw that thought away for the moment to actually look around the place where he had spent a lot of time a long time ago. Sometimes that period of his life felt like it had all been a long dream just like Zhu Yan had told Zhuo Yichen back then. A long dream from which he’d eventually have to wake up. Though now he wasn’t sure anymore at times, what had been a dream and what had actually happened. Even a great demon like him could experience a partly memory loss apparently.
“You’re finally back.” He eventually heard a voice he definitely wouldn’t have expected to hear, not at that place, definitely not at that time and not with such a soft undertone. Zhu Yan knew though that he’d always, no matter what, be able to recognize that voice. He turned around to face Li Lun who at first glance looked so different from what Zhu Yan remembered him. But at second glance the white ape demon realized that he looked pretty similar to how he had when they had been strolling through the mortal world for the first time, completely the opposite of what he had been styling his mortal self afterwards. Li Lun appeared almost as carefree as he had been back in those days which rouse Zhu Yan’s curiosity.
For a while neither of them was able to form any words but eventually, Zhu Yan managed to do so. “Yes, I’m back indeed. I’m glad you’re doing fine yourself.” He paused, finally daring to ask the question that was lingering in his mind. “But what exactly are you doing here?” His eyes locked with Li Lun’s who seemed to be thinking about how to reply to that for a moment but then the pagoda tree demon turned around, suddenly distracted. “You’re back.” He said, similar words to the ones he had just said to Zhu Yan, though clearly a lot more affection lying in between them.
Zhu Yan managed to make out Zhuo Yichen’s presence but the younger one couldn’t yet see him from where he was standing at. Zhu Yan could feel him being exhausted and considering that he had returned to his own home, it was very much possible that he had lowered his guard enough that he couldn’t sense Zhu Yan’s presence yet.
“Yes. It took a lot of time to capture that fox demon but the young ones finally managed to do so. They forbade me to interfere so I could just watch in agony since I would’ve been able to capture him in just a moment.” Yichen sighed. “But anyways, they finally succeeded and put him in a cell now. Let him think about what he did.” Zhu Yan couldn’t really see Zhuo Yichen but for some reason he didn’t want to reveal himself yet, he couldn’t even tell why. Li Lun also seemed to have temporarily forgotten about the other demon’s appearance.
“I hope you showed them how proud you are of them, they respect you so much.” Li Lun quietly said and his voice was so soft. Zhu Yan doubted he’d ever heard the pagoda tree demon speak with as much affection. When Li Lun added “Just like I do.”, Zhu Yan truly wondered what he had missed in all these years. He felt like he was an intruder while he was listening to Li Lun and Zhuo Yichen speaking to each other like they were the most important people in each other’s lives.
Because he didn’t want to disrupt their privacy any further, he eventually coughed slightly as he went around the corner where he had unwittingly been hiding to see the two great demon’s hands intertwined. Zhuo Yichen took a few moments to realize who was standing in front of him but didn’t let go of Li Lun’s hand even after having been discovered. Zhu Yan knew that his mortal self immediately would’ve backed away embarrassedly. The two of them holding hands so casually truly made Zhu Yan wonder about so many things, truly made him feel like he had entered some kind of parallel universe or had entered one of Li Lun’s illusions. Though rationally, he knew that neither of that was the case.
“Zhao Yuanzhou, what are you doing hiding there?” Zhuo Yichen finally asked, laughing, and Zhu Yan couldn’t express the joy he felt when he saw the other one being so happy. The white ape demon could only helplessly point at Li Lun first, then at Zhuo Yichen and eventually back at Li Lun in an attempt to process what was going on. Li Lun only laughed at that and it made Zhu Yan’s heart melt. He hadn’t seen his friend so happy ever since… he didn’t even know when. Also he couldn’t remember ever having seen Zhuo Yichen so happy, he really couldn’t.
“It’s a really, really long story.” Li Lun eventually replied. “But how about yourself? It took you way too long to come back to us.” Us. Zhu Yan thought. What exactly did Li Lun mean? When had he and Zhuo Yichen, so utterly different beings who were still so similar like a paradox in itself, become an us? Zhu Yan decided to temporarily throw these thoughts away. He would find out when the right time would come. “So I heard. 800 years have passed in the blink of an eye. And here we are at the very same place where we’ve first met.” Zhu Yan said, pointed towards Zhuo Yichen who, despite being all friendly and smiley, still seemed to be acting rather distant towards Zhu Yan. The white ape demon had expected an emotional reconciliation, but that didn’t seem the case here. Instead the bearer of the cloud light sword seemed so utterly smitten by a certain pagoda tree demon that one couldn’t help but feel like an intruder, seeing that the infatuation clearly went both ways. Though Zhu Yan finally realized, it didn’t seem to be solely infatuation between the two of them, there was so much more and Zhu Yan couldn’t find another word for it but love.
Eventually Zhuo Yichen seemed to finally realize the gravity of the situation. The one whose return he had been waiting for what would soon be a millennium, had returned. Bingyi’s descendant stepped forward, his cloud light sword which Zhu Yan was glad to see in one piece, glowing brighter than ever before since three great demons were at the same place. Zhu Yan could sense how much stronger Zhuo Yichen had become in all these years figuring that the younger one could possibly be even more powerful than himself at that point of time, considering that Zhu Yan’s powers still needed to strengthen.
“I can’t believe you’ve really come back.” Zhuo Yichen eventually whispered, the distant expression on his face suddenly changing into something familiar. And then he stepped forward and Zhu Yan could feel the younger one’s arms being wrapped around his body like he was the last aid Zhuo Yichen could cling to before drowning. Zhu Yan felt tears streaming down his face all over again as he started hugging the younger one as well. “Thank you for bringing me back.” He whispered back. “I doubt it was an easy thing to do.” The words were meant for only the bearer of the cloud light sword to hear but of course Li Lun who was standing closely next to them, heard them as well.
“It really wasn’t. Yichen had been searching for you for 300 years. He flipped over every stone in both the wilderness and the mortal world and climbed every mountain possible. Ironically you eventually came to him near my home.” Li Lun interfered and Zhuo Yichen backed away from Zhu Yan who still couldn’t process that two of the three people who meant most to him were just casually standing next to each other even though they had been enemies centuries before. Surely a lot could change in several hundred years.
Yichen playfully punched the pagoda tree demon in the upper arm as if to make him stop talking. “It’s not Zhu Yan’s fault. After all retrieving you was only so easy because the white monkey prepared everything in advance so I didn’t need to look for you, he already placed the last shred of your soul in your primordial root.” Zhuo Yichen explained in a now quite factual tone and Li Lun seemed shocked. Apparently Bingyi’s descendant hadn’t told him that before. “Yichen, why didn’t I know that?” Li Lun asked, looking at the younger one and Zhu Yan wondered when the two of them had grown close enough for Li Lun to call him by only his first name, without any further honorifics. Eventually, the pagoda tree demon looked at the white ape demon with more gratitude than could be put into words. “Thank you, Zhu Yan.” The latter had always hoped to hear these words though he had almost stopped hoping for a time where the two of them could reconcile. Now it seemed to have been made possible solely because of Zhuo Yichen’s will to bring the both of them back.
“Enough with the thanking. I think we all owe each other more than enough but we can possibly talk about that another time. But what I’m most interested now after having seen that you both are well, is what exactly happened between the two of you?” Just when Zhu Yan asked that question, the other two demon’s hands found each other again. Their exchanged glances seemed to determine who would tell the story which would surely be an interesting one to Zhu Yan. Eventually Li Lun started talking.
“It’s been almost 300 years since Yichen brought me back.” He started. “He had placed my primordial root at my home so when I was eventually able to return to my human form, I woke up there. Yichen hadn’t been there in that moment but he returned at some point and let’s just say…” Li Lun paused, apparently looking for the best way to convey what he had in mind and seeming to continue when Zhuo Yichen nodded in a silent reassurance “Yichen hadn’t been himself back then. He had completely detached himself from all human feelings due to having spent too much time in solitude. We both owe him too much, Zhu Yan.” Li Lun stopped again to look at Bingyi’s descendant with a look so full of love that even Zhu Yan felt like he’d surely drown in it. “We spent years there in which I had tried to bring fragments of his real self back but he was as detached as ever. It was truly heartbreaking so I’m glad you didn’t have to witness him like that. Eventually, after I had changed my tactic and stopped talking to him completely, there came a day where he had offered to go to the peach blossom house. We spent quite some time there and eventually I was able to break the ice around that stubborn kid’s heart.” “Hey, I’m not a kid anymore!” Yichen exclaimed though he surely was in the eyes of two demons who had lived for more than 30,000 years.
“And?” Zhu Yan finally asked with a smile on his face. “And I love him with every fibre of my body.” Li Lun replied. It was clearly obvious without him having needed to say so out loud. Zhu Yan doubted he had ever seen two beings more in love than the two of them. Even though Yichen was seemingly sulking due to having been called a kid, it was more than clear that the feelings were mutual.
In fact he wasn’t as surprised as he could have been. Even before Li Lun’s sacrifice, he had felt that something had changed between the two of them and that Zhuo Yichen and Li Lun would surely turn out to be more compatible than they’d realize themselves. It was because in many ways they were more similar than they’d have liked to admit and Zhu Yan knew that he’d never be able to fully grasp all of them and he didn’t even want to, knowing that it was between the two of them.
In that moment he could only be happy that two people so dear to him, who had ironically both been in love with Zhu Yan at a prior point of their lives, had found each other against all odds. Zhu Yan knew that he would always silently be rooting for them, praying that their happiness would be everlasting.