Chapter Text
Today, Spencer is approximately one hour earlier at the bureau than the day before.
For his first day, Hotch had asked him to come in a bit later, so everyone would be there to meet him.
He is grateful he can now come to work as early as he wants. He can leave home before Ethan wakes up and has time to get settled before the bullpen gets busy with people.
As he sits down in his chair, he winces slightly, the pain from yesterday's night still lingers. It's a constant reminder of how captured he is in his own life, unable to get away from the man who both saved and destroyed him.
When he sees Morgan walking in, he takes a big pack of paprika chips - the same brand as the ones Elle had eaten yesterday - out of his satchel and hesitantly makes his way over to his coworker.
Morgan wouldn't think it's weird, right? He wouldn't take the pack and smash it on the ground simply because they had been in Spencer's hands. He wasn't that kind of person. Right?
"Hi Reid, good morning," the older man's lips turn slightly upwards.
"Um hi, I uh- IgotyouthosechipsIhopeyoulikethem," his timid voice goes even quieter towards the end.
Very well, Spencer, you have a talent for screwing things up.
He starts to pull the skin on his fingers and feels a distressed hum building in his throat, but quickly stops himself. He can hear Ethan's voice echoing in his head: "Stop being always so embarrassing. It's disgusting."
"I didn't quite get what you just said, maybe speak a little slower and louder. My old ears can't catch up," he tries to joke Spencer's embarrassment away and sees the kid take a deep breath.
"I heard how you talked to Elle about how she ate your favorite chips yesterday. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I swear, you just weren't really quiet. And because I had to go shopping anyway, I also bought you another pack of the chips Elle ate. I- my mom always says 'it costs you nothing to be kind, so be it' and I- I mean those chips did cost something - two dollars and forty-three cents to be exact - but people tend to not like me very much - not at all - so I thought I could put in some effort and try to make people not hate me and maybe even like me a bit. And I hope you like the chips, I mean, they're your favorites so I guess you definitely like them, I just hope it's not a problem they're coming from me, I- I'm sorry, I'm rambling."
"Hey, no, everything's fine. You're all good. I really appreciate you thinking of me. Thank you so much. And if anything, the chips coming from you makes them even better."
"I- I'm glad."
He hands Morgan the bag and scurrys away.
○○○○○
"Hey, Reid"
Spencer stops his steps to the elevator when he hears Morgan call him. He turns around and hopes he appears composed.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah. I just wanted to ask you something. Some of our team are meeting for a movie night at Garcia's on Friday. Do you want to come, too?"
What? Are they asking him to spend an evening with them? They voluntarily want to spend time with him? Outside of work? With HIM?
"Oh, I- I don't want to impose on you guys. I'd probably just make you uncomfortable since I'm basically a stranger."
"You're not imposing on anyone. We all want you there, I wouldn't have asked if we didn't. You'd really do me a favor, I can't be the only guy."
"Isn't Hotch coming? Or Gideon?"
"No. Hotch wants to spend time with his family, and Gideon says he's way too old to spend a movie night with us."
That's not entirely true. They never asked Hotch or Gideon. They just really don't match the social setting of watching movies in Penelope's living room with them. Though, even if they would ask them, he's pretty sure they'd both say no, and Hotch probably will spend time with Jack and Hailey, so it's all good.
"So, will you come for me? Please?"
He knows it's a bit unfair to guilt trip Spencer into this, but the kid seems like he could really use some positive social experiences.
The young profiler thinks for a moment. Ethan will be on a trip from Thursday to Saturday to go to a training course for his job, so he won't notice his absence. And Spencer doesn't want to offend his coworkers, despite how awkward he's sure he'll be.
"O-Okay. When should I be there? Do I need to bring something?"
"Great! How about you give me your phone number and I'll text you the details?"
"Alright," Spencer smiles shily to the ground.
On his way home, he realizes that there, despite all the fear and anxiousness, also is a tiny part of him that looks forward to Friday night.
○○○○○
Derek, JJ, and Elle are already at Garcia's when they hear Spencer ring the doorbell.
The man accompanies Penelope when she goes to open the door and can only watch as she enthusiastically wraps the kid up in a tight bear hug.
He hears Reid make a sound that is a mix between a startled shriek and a horrified whine - something that you'd expect to hear from a pup who violently gets teared out of their mother's embrace.
Spencer pushes at Garcia's arms, and she only now seems to notice the other’s distress and takes a step back. As soon as her arms leave his body, Spencer stumbles backward and crashes into the wall. He flinches forward with a pained whimper only to throw his head immediately back at the wall.
"Don't- you can't- no touch... don't like- please." A strangled sob leaves his mouth. He has wrapped himself up in a fetal position - his hands clamping at his hair, and his eyes screwed shut while he rocks back and forth.
Derek suddenly regrets pushing the boy to do this, wishes he had taken more precautions to make sure he's comfortable. Turning towards Penelope, he sees tears build in her eyes, but he has to focus on Spencer now. He crouches down at his side, not touching him, but shielding from the other girls who have started to enter the hallway upon hearing the commotion.
"It's okay, Spencer. No one's touching you. But can you try and take a deep breath? Can you do that for me?"
Only a quick gasp comes out, but at least it means Spencer can hear him.
"That was really good, kid, but try it slower. We'll breathe together, okay? In for four, holding it for seven, and breathe out for eight."
Following his pattern, Derek breathes audibly enough that the other can hear him over his agony.
It takes a few minutes, but after relentless encouragement from the older profiler, Spencer gets his breathing under control, his eyes still tightly closed.
"Can you open your eyes for me, Spencer? Let me see you're okay?"
He only receives a quick shake of his head, accompanied by a mumbled "'m sorry."
"Hey, none of that. You don't have anything to apologize for," After a moment of thought, he asks: "Do you want me to dim the lights? Would that help?"
As soon as the younger gives a nod, Derek stands up and does as he said. Relieved, he notices that the girls have cleared the hallway to give them more space and privacy.
Spencer opens his eyes and blinks a few times before he pulls himself up into a sitting position, wrapping his hands around his knees and resting his head on top of them.
"I can drive you home if you want to. I'd understand if you didn't want to stay after that, and I'm absolutely sure the others would, too."
Spencer shakes his head, croaks out "movie night," and a bright grin spreads on Derek's face.
"Alright. That makes all of us very happy. We'll join the others whenever you're ready. Take your time, there's no need to stress."
When the two join the others - Morgan walking in first and partly hiding the younger agent - Penelope takes two steps towards them at which Derek gives her a face that is equally bewildered and warning and her responding expression tells him - a tad bit offended - she isn't that stupid. She opens her mouth, but Spencer, albeit quietly, beats her to it.
"Sorry, I freaked out"
"Oh no, sweetie, your reaction was totally justified. I shouldn't have gone and hug you without asking first. I'm the one who's sorry."
And that was something Spencer hadn't expected. Ethan would never let this kind of meltdown - no, this embarrassing, socially completely unacceptable, disgusting freak-out pass. "Pull yourself together! Are you a toddler throwing a temper tantrum?! You're my boyfriend, people will think I'm dating a retard!" Maybe Garcia was just not that straightforward about it.
"I will pull myself together and try not to do something annoying, I promise. I didn't want to ruin the night."
Morgan barely let him finish his sentence: "You did not ruin anything, you hear me? You do whatever you need to do and let us know when we somehow make you feel uncomfortable, alright? Nobody here is judging you."
The young profiler only gives a shy nod and JJ takes it upon herself to lighten the mood.
"That is right. We didn't even judge when Elle dated that office clerk."
"Oh, I did judge. Wholeheartedly," Penelope chimes in.
"He wasn't that bad," the woman in question tries to defend herself.
"He asked you to move in after two weeks of dating. With him AND his parents."
"He had other qualities. He was really good with his-"
And that's Derek's signal to redirect the conversation.
"Well, which movie do we want to watch?"
"I think we should let our boy genius decide."
"Oh, I'm fine with whatever you guys want."
"Nah, pick something you like. We always watch a wide range of things, anyways."
"What about Star Trek? If you all are okay with that?"
"Star Trek's great! Now, who wants popcorn?"
To Spencer's utter relief, everyone gets their own little bowl. The sheer amount of germs he would directly put into his mouth if they all ate from the same bowl... disgusting.
○○○○○
They end up watching four movies, and Spencer realizes that shit the last train back home is gone, and walking thirty-nine miles in the middle of the night isn't really something he fancies. But that still sounds better than having to ask one of his colleagues to drive him home or calling a cab- who even thought phone calls were a good idea? - Graham Bell, yes, but that doesn't help right now-
"Hey, kid, did you take your own car here? If not, want me to give you a ride?"
Morgan seems to have a talent for interrupting his spiraling.
"Oh, I- I took the train, but at this hour... so if it's not a problem, and you don't mind a detour, I would really appreciate it."
"No problem at all!"
They drive in silence, the radio a comfortable background noise, and Spencer thinks he could definitely get used to this.
And then he can see his apartment complex and the last few hours were all a pleasant dream, but there is his real life - his personal nightmare - he eventually has to go back to.
When he feels the car stop, he quickly glances at Morgan to see he has his attention, but immediately averts his eyes and fumbles with a loose thread on his jacket.
"I wanted to- to say thank you for inviting me. I really had a good time, and I- yeah, that's all, so... thank you."
"You're very welcome. Like I said, you really did me a favor not leaving me alone with the girls. And they had a good time, too, so I hope you'll agree to come next time as well."
"Okay." He gives a shy smile, and if it wasn't for Derek already watching him intently, he might have missed it.
"Alright, Pretty Boy, go catch a bit of sleep."
The older profiler can see the other’s face fall and that wasn't his intention at all. He has no idea what just happened.
"Hey, is everything alright? Did I say something wrong?"
"Please- please don't mock me." Derek almost couldn't hear it, even though the only other noise was the quiet hum of the motor - he had already turned off the radio when he parked the car.
"What do you mean, mock you? I'm sorry, I don't understand."
"You called me Pretty Boy, and I know I'm not really the most- most attractive, but-"
"Woah, woah, woah, I did call you Pretty Boy, but not to mock you. I meant that. You are pretty. But if that makes you uncomfortable I won't call you that again."
"Oh... so it's a nickname?"
"Yes. Is that okay?"
"Ye- yeah! Of course! A nickname is an informal name for someone or something, especially a name that you are called by your friends or family, usually based on your real name or your character. Does this mean- are we friends?"
Derek really wants to cry at the purely hopeful glint in the other’s eyes. Who the hell hurt him?
"Of course we're friends, kid." The smile he receives in return might just solve all of his problems.
"Then please, please call me that again. If you still- still want to, I mean."
"I'll call you Pretty Boy until you're tired of it, Pretty Boy," he says with a bright grin.
"I don't think I will."