If I were a security guard for a person who’s being targeted by assassins I simply wouldn’t devote my entire attention span to every single noise I hear.
Why do I care if there’s a random noise in this out-of-the-way dark corner? My post is right here.
But… but I threw a rock there. Y-you gotta check
If I hear a noise I’m gonna throw a flash grenade in that direction.
MY EYES AND EARS
“Got a neutralized assassin in gate 17.”
“Did they try distracting you by throwing a rock?”
“Yeah, they did.”
“Fucking idiot.”
4 years of community assassin college for nothing
You know what really makes this post? The fact that the assassin’s blog is deactivated. Seems OPs flashbang worked.
I always love seeing this comic because it interprets Tumblr as a gigantic theater ruled by absolute chaos where sometimes somebody just stands up on their chair and shouts and we all pay attention
Being unhinged feels good but being able to look back and still see yourself as a good person feels better
The trick is unhinged with bad people, so you are an agent of karma
I actually took this advice and I have to say that this is the way to go, I crave the suffering of unpleasant people and my tolerance for Awkward Silence is high so long as I can sip at the misery wafting off my target in delectable waves
I’m not allowed to play paladin with one of my playgroups anymore, because the last time I did, one of the rogues in my party decided kill a townsperson in front of me “just to see what would happen,” and the moment she did I used a smite evil and killed her instantly. Everyone else (except the DM) thought it was a dick move that I basically forced her to roll an entirely new character after one night.
That’s the only proper way to play a paladin.
You pick a fight, you get the smite.
“it’s what my character would do” says the rogue.
“samesys!” Says the paladin, cheerfully rolling a nat 20 smite to destroy the rogue.
And its even more in canon because there would be mechanical consequences if you didn’t
i understand why the ‘grizzled loner who slowly melts & improves their outlook on life when forced to take care of a kid’ trope is a male exclusive role, bc the optics of a grizzled loner woman healing by becoming a mother are maybe not so good, but every time i think abt a hypothetical female version of that trope i black out instantly. could we maybe just do it one time and all agree to be cool about it
it would be cool if websites let you be an adult on them. the advertisers and payment processors need everything to be Family Friendly though and their definitions of family and friendly are absolutely fucked. but since they’re in charge of the Internet now, no one is allowed to be an adult. tiktokers say things like “unalive” and “seggs” because they know death and sex are too adult for online. online is for idiot babies only now because they’re easier to market to
oh im sorry you’re a trans adult? super ban. you are super banned for life. you have upset Visa’s feelings. Mastercard is throwing up in the corner. how could you do this to Google Ads?
