FUCK. YES. this is what im fucking TALKING about

official linguistics post

The other purpose of this is a very weak and transparent baiting tactic. They'll paint a whole group as pedophiles for instance just so they can accuse anybody getting angry at that of defending pedophilia, even though you know and they know that they're just tossing it around as a wild accusation based on a stereotype they deliberately invented.

What is the most important step a man can take?

The next.

I think part of the pushback about this is the idea that, to “redeem” bad people, their victims must first forgive them for unforgivable acts.

This is false. No one is obligated to forgive you. You can learn from your mistakes and become the best, kindest person on earth, and the people you’ve hurt still won’t forgive you, and you’ll have to accept that. And that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to grow. Because we aren’t just “pure” or “sinful”, we’re complex.

It’s also important that a character doesn’t have to forgive someone to decide to continue to have a relationship with them. I’m thinking of a fandom where people are furious that a character is shown having a positive experience with his abusive father. But you can choose to do that without forgiving them or absolving them for what they did. What they did can be unforgivable, and simultaneously it can be ok to interact with who they are now.

It’s very Catholic when you think about it. Something is a sin until you admit it’s a sin, get a punishment, and are forgiven, and then it’s not a sin anymore. Or in The Good Place, where you get points for good things that balance out the bad things. That’s not how it works. (And as always, it’s super weird how fandom purity culture unquestioningly accepts religious philosophy. And not even the thoughtful religious philosophy where people have actually spent thousands of years talking about the dangers of treating these ideas overly simplistically.) Having a positive experience with someone doesn’t mean you forgive them, or that what they did was forgivable. It just means that today is different from yesterday.

History Lesson:

The Radium Girls were factory workers who painted glowing markers on watches. They pointed their paint brushes with their lips after being told do so and that it was safe for them to do so by their managers. The paint had radium in it to promote the glow.

Dentists became the first people aware of the medical complications happening amongst all the women working in this factory. Complaints of loose bones, teeth, ulcers, etc. began to circulate amongst the staff.

Eventually, the girls started to die. The first one’s jaw literally came off her skull before her death as a result of radiation poisoning.

Perhaps all of that you could say was “stupidity” on behalf of the workers and corporation.

But what came next wasn’t. The corporation, the U.S. Radium Corporation, originally called the Radium Luminous Material Corporation, lied to the public and said that their workers were dying from alternate causes such as syphilis. They continued to instruct their staff to work business as usual, perpetuating more deaths and illness amongst their staff so their product could continue to be made.

The Radium Corp offered to change the method of painting dials, but the alternative brushes slowed down work and they were paid by the dial. To continue earning the wages they needed, the girls were forced to continue to use the brushes that they had to wet with their mouths.

The girls eventually took the matter to court. They took it to court eight times because Radium Corp continued to appeal until 1939.

As a result of their win, which provided a settlement to each girl a lump sum, a yearly stipend, and medical expensed paid by the company, LABOR LAW changed to ensure that companies could be held accountable for not properly protecting their employees from disease. New health regulations and standards were put in place to keep workers safe and they stopped using the brushes after that point.

(I don’t have the data to say if there was a corresponding wage increase to factor for lost wages due to a slowing down after new regulations were made).

The point, though, is that this company willfully knew that its staff was geting sick and dying from the procedures they put in place, and lied to their staff and started a public smear campaign saying these women had sexually transmitted diseases instead.

That’s not on the “stupid” women, that’s corporate greed.

I’d also like to add that they were intentionally delaying the court case so there would be less girls left alive to be there. Even after they’re caught, they are still heartless shits. Don’t ever forget these poor women and the company that thought cycling through workers and leaving a trail of bodies was worth making more money at the top.

When they say regulations are written in blood, this is what they mean. Remember that when the government tries to cut back regulations, saying they cost companies too much money.

Adding a plug for Kate Moore’s book which tells this story with detail, data, and narrative power:

You can get it from Bookshop here or at your local library.

Anytime you're interacting with your child, but especially when angry, say to yourself "how would I feel if their future partner treated them the way I am currently treating them?"

You are creating their 'normal'

People need to read the UN Conventions On The Rights Of The Child before becoming parents and regularly while parenting and I am so serious about this.

Everyone SHOULD read it, and it is often a distressing experience to do so. Back in 1929 it was internationally recognized that children in particular needed to have a codified set of rights, it has been improved on since - in many ways it is still not perfect but it needs to be understood that the rights contained within are the BARE MINIMUM.

If any of these are breached - whether on the home scale or on the cultural one, particularly for signatory countries - that is a fundamental issue.

I promise that learning what the established bare minimums are in universal human rights frameworks will enable you to cut through so much propaganda immediately.

Children and teens are full human beings and by becoming parents an immense responsibility is applied to treat them as such. They need open and clear communication, not to be talked down too, and to have their questions answered. They have the right to autonomy and life.

The United States is still the only country ever to be part of the UN that has not ratified a children's bill of rights. Children remain basically objects and the property of their parents in the eyes of the U.S. constitution.