I think we need to start making movies shittier again. Lots of stop-motion monsters, buckets of neon red blood, cheap ass costumes, everyone has their tits out, every night scene has fifty fog machines going, you get what I mean. Everything needs to look like it has a budget of twenty bucks.
I fully believe the queen is dead and they just don’t wanna deal with a funeral before Christmas so they’re keeping her on ice (aka life support) till spring.
apparently the entire country has to do a 12 day long mourning and the BBC is legally banned from putting on any comedy show during that week AND they have to shut down the London stock exchange for one whole day… now I’m not saying they’re weekends at Bernie’s-ing that colonizer to keep the stock exchange open, but….
the one experience that unites all 90s and early 2000s kids is experiencing at least one work of fiction with a deceptively adorable illustration of cute animals on the cover who live in societies with an established political system, hierarchy of leadership and culture and are driven from their homes by human activity and/or engage in violent conflicts with other animals in similar communities that lead to many of the characters’ brutal deaths, which are described in graphic detail and which left you briefly emotionally traumatized by being confronted with the concept of your own fragile mortality before you were 10
the 4 horsemen
it has been brought to my attention that this was an ENTIRE GENRE of children’s fiction for some reason
You forgot An American Tail
Expectation: “Yay, cute talking animals going on fun adventures and learning about friendship!”
Reality: “These cute talking animals are going through a lot of traumatic shit. The world they live in is dangerous, the stakes are super high and these small critters deal with war, death, betrayal, and oppression. Have fun reading, kids!”
Animals of Farthing Wood and the episode with the motherfucking shrike.
ALT
