Madelyn, 26, she/her, trans lesbian, rest in peace to my formerly app-crashingly long bio, I think it's been breaking my blog appearance so I had to change it.
*gripping my hands so hard on a young trans persons shoulders that their bones are about to break*
do not log on to 4chan.com. do not get involved in passing olympics. you will always lose. do not put afab/amab/tma/tme, that is cisgender society trying to know your “real” gender. you do not exist to please cisgender people. there is no ‘right’ way to be trans. learn your goddamn history, listen to your elders. listen to other disenfranchised groups. listen to intersex people and check yourself for intersexism. listen to trans poc and check yourself for racism. listen to disabled people and check yourself for ableism. be open to learning always. labels are meant to fit you, not the other way around. you are not weird or predatory for simply being attracted to others. you’re fine if you’re not a skinny white twink or a barbie doll. you’re fine if your body is ‘weird’. you’re fine if you don’t have heavy or any dysphoria. it’s okay if you actually don’t want to transition or anything like that. life is worth living at any stage, you deserve to be happy. I SWEAR THAT YOU ARE OKAY!!!!!
i agree with all of this and agree that putting this stuff in your bio is generally unnecessary, but tma/tme are terms made by transfems/trans women to talk about experiences with transmisogyny.
tme refers to cis men, cis women, trans men, transmascs, and other trans/nonbinary people otherwise-not-transfem, aka the people who are not the primary/directed targets of transmisogyny (except for misdirected bigotry due to being mistaken for a trans woman/transfem)
its not a cis attempt to know your “real” gender unless the two “real” genders are transfem/trans woman and Everyone Else
In the interest of also being non-combative and informative, that is a deeply flawed framework of how bigotry, suppression, and oppression operate. The terms TMA/TME also don’t actually align with the way Julia Serano — the woman who coined and originally defined the term transmisogyny — has defined transmisogyny over the years. Ultimately the terms really just seek to define groups of people out of very real bigotry and danger that they also experience and diminish their experiences.
Serano’s original articulation of transmisogyny in Whipping Girl isn’t always very clear about this because the book, in Serano’s own words, is the position of one trans woman at one point in time and is filled with personal anecdotes that she would remove had she known the book and her terminology would have taken off like it has.
However, she has gone on the record several times over the last two decades to clarify that transmisogyny as a term is meant to describe the experiences of anyone who sits at an intersection of femininity/feminine expression and real or socially perceived male identity. She has stated many times that drag queens, crossdressers / transvestites (yes people still do use that term for themselves), GNC men cis or trans, intersex people, women of color who experience the racialization of the genders, etc. are also all directtargets of transmisogyny that are not any “less than” trans women.
You cannot experience a “misdirected” form of bigotry when you are included in the process of identifying and articulating that form of bigotry. You cannot be exempt from a form of bigotry when the language meant to identify that bigotry explicitly seeks to give you a voice for your experiences as well.
Anyone who tries to diminish the experiences those groups of people have with transmisogyny by saying it’s just “misdirected” and that they’re actually exempt as targets of transmisogyny because they’re not trans women, is explicitly denying the work of the trans woman who gave them the language they are misusing in the first place.
And just generally - a bigot attempting to harm a marginalized person does not care if they are “correct” in their bigotry. A bigot, someone actively seeking to harm, subjugate, or eradicate, marginalized people generally wants to hit as many targets as possible, not refine their bigotry. As such, the language we use to discuss their bigotry cannot be narrow. This is a concept that is commonly accepted in many racial justice coalitions and in Black Feminist works. Julia Serano was inspired by Black Feminist authors like Audre Lorde and bell hooks when she wrote Whipping Girl. As such, I think we should be applying that understanding to the concept of transmisogyny as well.
It does us no good and serves us no function to create terminology that divides us, especially when it is made from of language that very explicitly wasn’t meant to.
Hey everyone, my name is Abdelmajed. I don’t usually talk much about myself, but today, I want to share a little piece of my story.
I was born and raised in Gaza, a place that has always been my home 🏡. I grew up surrounded by my family, my friends, and the streets that I knew like the back of my hand. Life wasn’t always easy, but we had love, laughter, and dreams. I used to think that no matter what happened, home would always be here. But life has a way of changing things in ways we never expect.
Over the past months, everything I once knew has disappeared. The streets that were once filled with children playing are now silent. The houses that held so many memories are now just rubble. And the people I loved—some of them are gone forever. 💔
The Pentagon budget is likely to grow substantially in the coming year: for FY2026, the Senate Budget Committee’s initial proposal includes a $150 billion increase in defense spending, compared to a $100 billion increase in the House Budget Committee’s version, targets that will bring the Pentagon’s annual budget authority to the $1 trillion level. Amid the turn towards neoliberalism and the end of the Cold War, defense spending has remained the one kind of annual appropriation that has continued to grow amid the general trend toward federal austerity. This continues to be true, even with the threat of civilian layoffs as part of federal spending slashes. Understanding how and why this is the case is an important problem of political economy. The multigenerational push to cut taxes and slow spending growth is often described—by both proponents and critics—as a way of insulating fiscal policy from the demands of democracy. The persistent growth of the US defense budget confirms this in a different way, linking foreign policy centered on war and militarized state-building efforts to a domestic policy centered on tech-oriented economic growth. This allows us to see the political priorities in the evolution of the US mixed economy.
On one hand, it’s great to see people learn how to unfuck their living spaces. On the other hand, that stuff like “frequently used articles should be stored near where they’re used” and “trash receptacles should be placed near activities that generate trash” are being received as radical ideas points to a serious knowledge transmission problem.
Some people’s parents get Really Weird about trash cans and practical items being where they can be seen, is part of the problem here
Source: currently a janitor at a church and you would not believe how many boomers get upset with me for insisting the trash cans need to be practical and easy to use instead of out of sight and too cute for functionality
including in the actual bathrooms
actually no sorry there’s a list here
things people have told me are “tacky” and that I need to get rid of (they have lost many of these arguments because I’m a bitch, others are ongoing)
an umbrella stand by the door with spare umbrellas for parishioners to use
a table by the front door “because people keep putting things on it” (that was. Why that table was there)
the signs that directed people towards the bathrooms
the actual trash can in the bathroom “because surely we don’t need one so big” (for the bathroom that services the fellowship hall, which hosts things like the local scout events, so yes we need one that’s at least 20 gallon)
apparently it’s also tacky if I write down when I changed things like batteries and air fresheners, on a calendar they’ll never see unless they go into my office??
another table in another waystation type area because “people keep putting things on it” (even when it’s completely clear)
a lot of the pushback (“tacky” etc) is because this work is, generally, women’s work (female-coded).
and women’s work is supposed to be invisible. it is meant to go unnoticed. a house should not have signs of life, like dirty dishes or a unfolded blanket, and that means it shouldn’t have the suggestion of dirt, like a trashcan.
and by god you’d better not act like any actual effort goes into keeping things clean, like a chore chart or cleaning log, because you are discussing the taboo.
I mean I think it’s important to acknowledge that this is also a matter of classism; most of the women (and it’s mostly women) I have these arguments with are the sort who pride themselves on their houses looking expensive.
And while the “women’s work” aspect of it is definitely THERE, it’s one of those situations where it’s also often women enforcing these ideas, particularly upper middle class white women.
It’s certainly true that if these folks perceived me as a man, they’d leave me alone on a lot of points they nitpick now, but the lady who thinks the restroom signs are clutter would still think that if I was a baritone instead of a soprano.
Bingo! I was looking in the notes on this one to see if someone happened to bring this up and was not disappointed! This is absolutely a class thing!
The upper middle class (arguably the middle class as a whole) style themselves over the impossibly rich aristocracy that probably have a guy wiping their butts in the bathroom who puts the toilet paper in his pocket and goes directly outside and flings himself in the dumpster then is replaced by a new guy every time they take a shit.
The bourgeoisie don’t need a trash can in the bathroom. But the upper middle class does not have access to that kind of wealth, all they see is the richer people they so desperately want to be like don’t have a bathroom trash can and so they shan’t either.
The majority of companies for the majority of recent history market to the tastes of the middle class so that gets established as the normal, desireable state of home decor and logistics of the home, even though this doesn’t make sense for people who work two jobs or are single parents or are neurodivergent or even for the middle class that has established that norm. It’s basically virtue signaling that you are, in fact, as classy as those awesome, successful rich people we all want to be like (/s) who don’t put trash cans in their bathrooms.
the original got flagged with no way to appeal it when every contributor is deactivated but I will never let this post die. it’s monday and we are getting on it cunts
