Five Nights at Freddy's is the kind of game that has no right being as scary as it is. The jumpscares are awkward, the engine is busted as fuck, and the gameplay is rather unassuming at first. But after all these goddamn years, it still manages to get me jumpin' real scared-like.

Got Spooky?

Five Nights at Freddy's really plays into the horror of malfunctioning AI - they don't know you, they don't care about you, but they're going to kill you all the same. While the series would end up introducing far more lore and story elements later on, what's here is still a very solid foundation. The story is basically just told through the environment and the phone calls you receive each night, which makes it all the more mysterious. I think most people after growing up have some sort of deep-seated fear of childhood things morphing into something unrecognizable, and that's why it works so well. There's a part of me that always has the sense of wanting to just "let go" of the past; no matter how bad someone's changed, I can at least remember them how they used to be.

FNaF says "FUCK ALL THAT SHIT MATE" to this very real fear and places you as a night guard in a pizzaria [sic] housing Chuck-E-Cheese-esque animatronics that may or may not have murderous tendencies. What a nightmare!

Really, the actual jumpscares in isolation are kind of silly, consisting of an animatronic flailing themselves at you while a pitch shifted scream of Scott Cawthon's child plays. It sounds like it'd be impossible to take seriously, but what makes it actually WORK is how tense the gameplay feels.

Gameplay Experience

There have been a lot of games that imitated FNaF, but this was the first game to really say "You're stuck in this room with no way to defend yourself". Scott smartly used his limited resources to create something unique - a horror game where you can't move. All you can really do is check your doors as well as the lights on said doors, as well as of course monitoring security cams. As the nights progress, animatronics will move more quickly and erratically through the cameras, so the tension just builds and builds while you're constantly micromanaging who's where. That is how they actually scare you.

The atmosphere itself, though, is also fantastically eerie. The strange voices and music that function as background noise along with your constant buzzing fan, the bizarre Clickteam fusion pre-rendered 3D backgrounds, and a hilariously campy but kind of terrifying phone guy; it all adds up to not a single thing feeling in its right place at all. Whereas cheaper horror media would use the subversion of nostalgic imagery to go all in on transgression and shock value, FNaF really leaves a lot to the imagination. Even in death, what truly happens to you is left uncertain. Perhaps you're still alive, living out your final days in a torturous existence inside a bear suit with metal constantly ripping through your skin. Or hey, maybe Freddy ol' Fazbear just wanted to invite you for some pizza!

Vices

There are definitely some issues with the game, though. The difficulty curve itself in concept actually great, forcing you to really show your mastery by the end, but once you realize how the AI actually works after Night 4-ish, it becomes pretty trivial and repetitive. Many of the game's systems don't interact well. Sometimes you can die from a closed door, or the cameras fail to show two animatronics at once. It feels like an oversight. You can also basically completely ignore actually tracking 3/4 animatronics on cams once you realize you can rely on lights for Bonnie and Chica, and Cam-Spam™ for Foxy. Freddy is probably the most sophisticated foe this game has to offer, but as long as you keep your sights on him, it's really not that hard. Unless he phases through your door like he did to me that one time, seriously what the fuck man.

Conclusion

Still, though, I genuinely think the first Five Nights at Freddy's is a great, smartly designed horror game that manages to utilize its excellent premise very well and provide a gameplay experience wholly unique for its time, basically inventing the genre of mascot horror.

Super Paper Mario is one of the most interesting and delightfully experimental games I've played, one that blends platforming, light RPG elements, and an incredible story into one of my favourite games of all time.

Super Paper Mario is known as a rather divisive game, perhaps less so in recent years, but when it first came out, many fans were disappointed by its drastic changes compared to its turn-based predecessors. I haven't played the previous games in the series, so I can’t compare, but the game design is immaculate. It's a 2D platformer like the classic Mario games, but it's more about the exploration and puzzle-solving aspects than pure platforming. Levels take place on a 2D plane, but with the "big gimmick" being that Mario can shift to 3D to unveil new parts of the area. Each character’s ability adds a unique twist to exploration and puzzle-solving, but none are game-changing. The 3D mechanic, while very fun, isn't as much of a focal point as the marketing suggests, more a novel gimmick to aid in uniqueness. What makes their abilities so compelling is how they're able to work together for the puzzles alongside the Pixl companions. They're not exactly brain-teasers, but that isn't the point - it's about the feeling and connection, and how it ties back to worldbuilding.

Combat is relatively straightforward - enemies have health, and so do you. You can jump on them, use a Pixl, use party member's special abilities, or just straight up use items. It's simple but effective. It's no Bloodborne, but the variety of attacks, boss designs, and character abilities keep it from feeling stale. It's more than appropriate for a 2D platformer of this kind. Where it's really able to shine, however, is the boss fights. They're excellent. SPM's bosses aren't always the most difficult in the business, but they still manage to be engaging at every turn with unique gimmicks and great characters, especially ones you fight multiple times. O'Chunks uses his body in more creative ways, Mimi evolves the way she uses rubees, Dimentio with teleportation and deception; all of these things add character and managed to keep me excited for what was to come throughout my 13-hour playthrough.

SPM's world is bizarre and loosely connected to the Mario universe, but that works in its favour. The way it feeds you breadcrumbs about the history is honestly fascinating, and you don't always get straight answers. Who wrote the Dark Prognosticus? What is Flopside? Are there other dimensions like it? How does the third dimension work? Is there a fourth dimension? SPM raises these kinds of questions about its world, and honestly, we'll probably never get answers. But I wouldn't care about any of this if it wasn't held together by an amazing story.

It should come as no surprise that my favourite aspect of this game is its story: despite this game's reception, most people can agree that the story is brilliant. I haven't played every Mario game, but this is by far the best interpretation of a Mario story I've seen. The titular Mario is, oddly enough, kind of a vessel, but I love the little guy. He's characterized as a silent aloof hero with his heart in the right place, and while that's not consistent with other incarnations, the nature of this series makes me not really mind. No, Mario's real purpose in this story is to be the hero that stops the Dark Prognosticus - a prophecy set in stone by Count Bleck in order to destroy all worlds. On the surface, Bleck is your average evil RPG villain: nihilistic, hates the world, and wants to destroy it. But this is by design, and when his backstory starts to really unfold, that's when SPM shows its full hand.

SPM is not your average Mario game. It's a love story that transcends its franchise.

The rest of this review will be discussing plot details about Bleck as a character, and the rest of the game. If you don't want spoilers, tl;dr he's one of the best villains ever written and you should go play this game.

Count Bleck is the identity taken on by Blumiere after being separated from Timpani (who became the Pixl Tippi). When he was ostracized from her, he became obsessed with finding her, and went into a rage that he used to bring the Dark Prognosticus into fruition, believing all things meaningless without her. Most people can relate to having someone they longed for, but for whatever reason, it just never worked out. The feelings of rejection, self-hatred, and anger all boil up into a concoction that makes it seem like the world is completely against you. That's why Blumiere ends up in his position - not because he's inherently evil, but because he was pushed to that point by society. Now I'm not gonna get all Joker on you and say that the atrocities he commits are therefore justified, because they aren't. Murder, slavery, implied genocide, and even omnicide if we wanna go there; there's no good excuse for this. But despite ALL of this, and all of the suffering he both inflicted and endured, Blumiere ends up as more than his Chaos Heart. As the game goes on, he meets people who genuinely care for him, even if they don't fully understand him, and that's what makes him all the more human. His minions are lovable because they're just as relatable as him - doing what they think is right in the face of worldwide rejection.

When Blumiere steps down from being Count Bleck, it's not only because he's reformed, it's because he's fulfilled. When he rediscovers his Pure Hearts - when his minions go to bat for him, and when Timpani still loves him, he fights back against the Dark Prognosticus, even if it means sealing his eternal fate.

The ending to Blumiere and Timpani's story is open-ended, but what really matters is that they were able to find happiness in spite of it all. Two imperfect people, united by true love, in the face of a universe against them. That is what makes Super Paper Mario such a powerful, resonant experience all the way through.

"Nothing is decided entirely by fate, you know... All things determine their destinies."

Postal 4: No Regerts had potential to match Postal 2's quality, but it ends up being a frustrating and mishandled retread of that very game.

Postal 4 is a "true" sequel to Postal 2, bringing back its open-world sandbox gameplay with a familiar story structure, but with a few tweaks. The main differences are the ability to drive around (greatly appreciated) and the more modern feeling gunplay. Otherwise, this is basically just more of what Postal 2 was doing, which on paper is fine, since that's a great game, but I think P4 runs into some key issues. For example, the world in this game is much bigger, hence the necessity of adding functional vehicles, and while I do enjoy them (and their INCREDIBLE radio stations, seriously), the rental mechanic is less than ideal. You do get a pretty good amount of money in this game after the first day, but I found that I would often be just short of enough to actually rent a vehicle. Vehicles are still a nice addition, but their scarcity often simply makes them feel like a chore instead of a convenience. The ability to steal parked cars would've solved this, but since traffic is practically non-existent, that's not even a real option. Also, death in P4 is a mess. Unlike P2's simple quicksave system, P4 adds awkward checkpoints that save NPC states but not your resources, leading to frustrating, low-health slogs. You can't make quicksaves during all missions, too. Aside from ammo, items you had on you during checkpoint creation will be given back to you, which kinda means you can cheese everything if you're smart about it. This isn't the worst addition in theory, but I found more often than not that I would end up getting stuck with really low health and having to basically suicide bomb enemies during the later missions, which kinda kills all of the fun, especially since you run out of ammo fast. I think it would've been much better if you at least kept your ammo, or they just reverted to a standard quicksave system, since it leaves too much room for the boring, menial kind of "difficulty".

The boss fights in this game are much more prominent than in previous entries, but this is one aspect they should've actually innovated on. Every single boss in this game can basically just be killed by running at them and shooting/stabbing them, including the final boss. It wouldn't be that big of a deal if they were at least fun from a story/character perspective, but that brings up a whole other issue.

The story follows the same day-by-day errand format as P2, but it fumbles the execution. Most of the actual tasks you do are more or less just a guy telling you "Go here and bring this thing to this place", which of course, usually results in violence. It's not that I don't think those kinds of tasks can be well-done, it's more that they feel completely pointless. The plot just keeps forcing the Dude into dull errands for random Important Figures™ who promise to find his trailer, and that's not even to mention how WEIRD he is in this game. The Dude in P2 was an everyman, gone a bit insane from the mad world he lives in, but this Dude feels like a completely different person. He's an oblivious idiot that constantly gets manipulated and lied to seemingly only for the purpose of leading to more weak setpieces. He was always trashy and pretty corrupt, but he had an actual err of being relatable. In this game he's basically just that weird uncle that doesn't get invited to family reunions. It's so bad that even Rick Hunter just SUCKS here. His performance as Postal Dude in P1 and 2 was absolutely fantastic, the relatable violent cynic that you'd want him to be, with quippy one-liners, but he's a total killjoy here. He says a lot of his famous lines, but they just feel so...lifeless. There's no passion in what he says, and I'm not sure if that's bad acting or just the character assassination that's gone on between releases. Either way, it reeks.

I've been going on about the bad, but I'd certainly not say that's the whole picture. The jump kick is fun, driving around for the first few days with the amazing OST is great, I love scavenging inside people's weird houses, stumbling upon random secrets...I have had fun with this game, and that's the best part, but it's just hard to really look at the entire picture and end up feeling satisfied in any way.

Postal 4 had all the reason to be another weird, janky and satirical classic, but instead of improving upon its predecessors, it regurgitates them. What could have been the series' highlight ends up as little more than a pile of Regerts.