No seriously…just take thirty seconds…my twitter @verydissapoint for more comedic genius
You can only reblog this today.
I missed my chance last year. Not gonna let it happen again
Police: OPEN UP ITS THE POLICE
Me: okay so my first real trauma happened when I was 5 I was-
*crashes car*
me: oh shit…
friend: no don’t worry the damage isn’t that bad
me: I’m gay.
I forced a robot to listen to 1000 hours of me in therapy and it created Liability by Lorde
she always
wore
ripped jeans
every rip symbolic
of every heart
that she’s ripped out
there’s a reason
wore
sounds like
whore
wore
ripped jeans
every rip symbolic
of every heart
that she’s ripped out
there’s a reason
wore
sounds like
whore
milk and honey (via ambushing)