ALTevery time i type five or more exclamation marks i think of this quote. it's my equivalent to that damn bbc sherlock line about scratch marks around the phone charging port. i can never escape the spectre of terry pratchett judging my punctuation habits
Discworld Heritage Post
Stop saying “there are plenty of fish in the sea”. I’ve got my eye on one specific, emotionally distant salmon with commitment issues
I'm personally after the white whale that took my leg
my favorite genre of fictional character is like "i am terrifying to almost everyone, i'm very good at killing, i can endure anything, i've become exceptionally good at playing into my reputation, and if you try to give me positive social interaction i will react with confusion and cower in a corner like an abused animal. and i may try to shoot you. but there is also a chance i may imprint on you like a feral dog receiving its first loving touch! good luck."
Apropos of (almost) nothing: I'm the kind of pedant who dislikes calling tentacle porn "tentacle porn" not because I think it's aberrant but because, 98% of the time, what's being depicted are octoform arms or tendrils, not tentacles. Tentacles are defined by the clubbed ends, which are the only part that have suckers. If it's tapered and has suckers all the way down, it's an octoform arm; if it has no suckers at all, it's a tendril.
You're welcome.
This site has gotta be the weirdest way to learn things
new knowledge for me and all my fellow mobster fuckers dropped
Eh, boss. We nose you and Tony are ya know, badda boom, but I thinks ya made a typo dar.
Gawd damn it, Frankie. This is what I get for trying to type with these tentacle thumbs.
glorf1ndel asked:
Hello! I love your art style so much. Would you be willing to draw Lúthien or Glorfindel? Your pick! Thank you :D
exercise-of-trust answered:
For No Reason In Particular i’m about to go absolutely hog wild on the lúthien art in the next couple weeks so i’m gonna save it up for the event, but here’s a glorfindel instead!
(requests are closed for at least the next 3-6 months while i catch up on other projects)
Tumblr already has a personalization algorithm it's called my beloved mutuals who have great taste and only wish to psychologically damage me sometimes
hey guys we can all agree its like, incredibly sad and fucked up when a trans man feels like he has to apologize for being a man, right. like even jokingly. it’s very concerning that people have created an environment where a trans person is expected to be apologetic about their identity, right.
“sorry to add another straight white male to the world 😔” no brother I’m glad you exist. being able to live your life as YOU is something you had to and will continue to fight for and we can’t afford to be apologetic about it. trans existence is always a celebration.
The world is in desperate need of men who are kind and conscientious. I'm very grateful for any trans men that fit that description. ❤️
talking about impenetrable accents/dialect just reminded me. when I was in Milan a couple of years back I was staying in this little rathole hotel and I had the biggest fucking migraine, so I was like non c'è problema I'll just go buy painkillers. of course every pharmacy on the map in a three block radius was closed, so my stupid ass just starts wandering around trying to figure out on the fly if you can get OTC from supermarkets in italy.
I walk into this little everything store (to my foreign eyes the kind of place that back home could sell you a bunch of carrots, a 6-pack of beer, pantyhose, bleach and a screwdriver set) and I see some household basics in the back but not what I need. with the confidence of a person who is only in the city for 3 days because he got bored and packed a bag and booked the cheapest flight available the week before (<= MENTAL ILLNESS), I was like no worries I know some italian, I can just ask.
I grab a bottle of water, walk up to the counter, and I'm like Ciao, hai il paracetamolo? And the guy is like che, and I'm like paracetamolo. Per la mia testa. And he's like che?
This is where I would have said 'aspirina' except I can't take aspirin for medical reasons, or 'antidolorifico' except I don't know that word and I've got no phone data for google translate and also I'm stupid. So in my fucked up leith-glasgow-italian accent I'm like paaa-ra-cetta-mollll-ooo. He's like ohhh bene, bene, and he calls another guy out of the back and asks him to go get something. Other guy then walks out of the store into the street, and before I can be like hey, che la fuck, he comes back and hands me a huge bundle of herbs.
At this point I'm like okay this entire interaction has been a bust, but these guys have been very nice and patient and they're both smiling happily at me because they've been of service, so I'm like ahh perfetto, grazie, pay them a couple of euros and leave.
EVENTUALLY I find a pharmacy that's open, and my head is fucking killing me, and my phone still isn't connecting, and now I have this small shrubbery poking out of my coat pocket, so I don't even bother looking around the shelves. I just walk straight to the counter and I'm like uhh ciao, scusi. And hearing my nightmare of an accent the guy answers in english and I'm like thank christ, do you please have paracetamol. Not aspirin, I can't take aspirin. And he's like yeah yeah hold on, goes into the back, comes out with what I need.
Only when he comes out he gives me this look, and then he starts laughing. And then he pretends he's not laughing and rings me up and I pay, and as I'm leaving I can see him losing it. But I don't care, my head is going to explode, I'm going back to the rathole to close the blinds and fall comatose for four hours.
When I get back to my hotel room I take off my coat and remember the huge bouquet of herbs in my pocket. They smell amazing, and I'm like I'm pretty sure this is parsley in which case I can just get some tomatoes and mozzarella later and make it work. but since I have no idea what that interaction was, I want to make sure. I bring out my phone to get a visual reference of what parsley leaves look like, and because I was using it for google translate earlier I put 'parsley' in the wrong box like a dope and translate it to italian.
prezzemolo
I wish I could have been the pharmacist in the moment he looked at my tired pissed off anglophone ass, heard me say 'paracetamol' in my fucked up accent, and turned around saw what was in my pocket. I'd have lost my shit too.
Respect to the first guys who, after you left, said “what a nice bloke. He looked so tired. We can relate. Whom amongst us has NOT had a parsley-related emergency”
Angélique Marguerite Le Boursier du Coudray (c. 1712 – 17 April 1794) spent twenty-five years traveling the towns of France, teaching obstetrics in an effort to share her extensive knowledge with poor country midwives. Madame Du Coudray invented the first life size obstetrical mannequin, or “The Machine”, for practicing mock births. Only one example of the original machine, patented in 1778, survived and is on display in the Musée Flaubert et d’histoire de la médecine in Rouen, France. It includes a life-size mannequin representing the lower part of the female body, a doll the size of a newborn baby, and various accessories demonstrating female anatomy, a seven-months fetus, twins, etc. Between 1760 and 1783, she traveled all over rural France, sharing her extensive knowledge with poor women. During this period, she is estimated to have taught in over forty French cities and rural towns and to have trained 4,000 students directly. She was also responsible for the training of 6,000 other women, who were taught directly by her former students. In addition, she taught about 500 surgeons and physicians, all of them men. In her thirty years of teaching she taught over 30,000 students. Through this educational effort Du Coudray became a national sensation and international symbol of French medical advancement. Via Anonymous Works.
We should hype up dental care routines more instead of skincare routines
unironically think this. People keep telling me I have nice teeth and I'm like "Yeah that's cause I brush them!" you'll need those every day of your life babygirl you gotta do the brushies
To add to the momentum: the bacteria that cause tooth decay and which form in the mouth from bacteria feeding on sugars and other remnants in your teeth get into the bloodstream and also cause heart disease.
Brushing your teeth literally has a causal relationship with reducing your likelihood of heart attack.
Hanging out with old people rules because after a while they trust you enough to confess to murder totally unprompted
Wait what.
Sometimes old ladies had to kick the ladder out from under their stepfathers when they were girls and that’s valid
oh, my little old lady murder story was her replacing the medication in her abusive husband's capsules with rat poison.
"back in the day, our grandmothers worked on their marriages and didn't get divorced!" nah, friend, they COULDN'T get a divorce so sometimes they killed their fuckin husbands. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My grandma murdered her first husband the first time he beat their daughter.
My college was next to an assisted living facility and one time we went over there to draw people’s portraits so we could get practice drawing older people. The lady I was drawing idly told me that she "dealt quite handily with her first husband” while making a stabbing gesture. Five minutes later she requested I make sure not to draw her double chin. I honored that request.
So when I was a child my grandmother told all these great stories about growing up in the Alaskan wilderness. Amazing bad ass stories about her and my great-grandmother. I recently asked my mom why my great-grandmother moved from Texas to Alaska in the first place. Turns out my Great-grandfather was abusive to my great grandmother for years and she lived with that until the first time he hit my grandmother, who was like three at the time, my great-grandmother got him very drunk and beat him to death then moved to Alaska to hide from the cops.
Men don't realize their life expectancy went up thanks to divorce.
Figure 9.3 shows that the number of males killed by intimate partners dropped by 71.4% between 1976 and 2002. Researchers and advocates for battered women attribute this dramatic decline to the widespread availability of support services for women, including shelters, crisis counseling, hotlines, and legal measures such as protection and restraining orders. These services offer abused women options for escaping violence and abuse other than taking their partners' lives. Other factors that may have contributed to the decline are the increased ease of obtaining divorce and the generally improved economic conditions for women.
:))))))))
My mom is a gastroenterologist and she once told me that the old wives' tale of people who died of "stopped digestion" was pretty much made up to cover up for women who got fed up with their abusive husbands and slipped some rat poison into their dinner (esp in rural areas). Local doctors knew who these men were (everyone knew) and the community pretty much nodded along when the death certificate said natural causes. The widow would dress in black for a couple years and basically go on with her life.
